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Features Fetis Ball -page 4 "Kids in the Hall" -page 5 Election Results -page 8 VolumeXI, Issue 9 Teenage girl abducted and sexually battered near campus Walking down U.S. 41) the victim was kidnapped at gunpoint by Shanon Ingles According to a press release is sued by the Manatee County Police t.s;.-..;:D:..=epartment, a seventeen year old female was a ucted and e ua y battered while walking to the hell Station at General Spaatz and U.S. 41last Sunday night. The victim was south of University Parkway, when "a small white truck pulled up beside her." The vehicle was operated by a young white male, who pointed a gun at the victim and ordered her to get into the car. She complied. The suspect drove to a field off the 3000 Blk. of Whitfield Avenue. There, while holding her at gun point, he "forcibly sexually battered her." The suspect then drove them to the "intersection of Whitfield and 301 and told her to get out of his ve hicle."He fled the scene and she reported the crime at approximately 1:30am Monday morning. She re ported that the su pect was a young white male, wearing a green shirt. His truck was described as being white, with a blue interior. The victim was treated and re leased from Manatee Memorial Hospital. According to the release, she "was not physically injured dur ing the incident." If you have any information about this sexual assualt. please call CRIME STOPPERS AT 747-COPS. Opinion Editorial: NCSA Town Meeting needs reform -page 7 April 26, 2000 Town Meeting declares 1999 SAC Not Guilty By a 30 to 27 vote) the February Student Court verdict was overturned by Kathryn Dow The Town Meeting has spoken. The SAC is Not Guilty. By a narrow margin, a town meeting held Tuesday, April 18, voted to overturn the Student Court verdict which had declared last semester's SAC guilty of violation of the New College Constitution and misappro priation of funds. The whole process was almost too quick. This fiasco dragged on for almost three months, and was then laid to rest so quickly that some were left still a bit confused over the whole thing. Third-year Cathy Heath approached the assembled tudents with the request that the Student Court verdict against the SAC be overturned. She handed out several copies of a summary of the case, detailing the events leading up to it, and explaining the SAC's reasoning as to why the verdict should be overturned. The summary outlined the technicalities and confusions surrounding the case. An eight-page version of the same was made available, but most students simply relied on the summ ry. r mad a ic speech to the assembly. "I really want this to be ended," she began, "and I would like you guys to look at the situation we are faced with." She explained the original tabling of the limosine allocation for Queer Formal, the misreporting of figures at the towm meeting, and the resulting petition to allo cate for the limosine. On the basis of the petition, she explained that the SAC felt it had correctly represented the wishes of the New College student body by this allo cation, and thus should not have been convicted. The limo allocation they voted to approve, she claimed, was a separate allocation request from the one dealt with at the fall town meeting. She then brought up the issue of the sanctions. "To be treated in this way ... I mean, how many of you guys would actually want to volunteer for a student government position ... and then if you make a mistake because you're human ... to have to be ridiculed by wearing an M?" Former Chief Justice Jeb Lund, who was presiding over student court at the time of the decision (he has since resigned), spoke next. He outlined inconsistencies in the number of signatures reportedly on the petition and contested the SAC's assertion that they had done nothing wrong. By allocating after a Town Meeting had voted against it, he noted, the SAC was in violation of the New College Constitution, which declares the Town Meeting to be the highest form of government at New 1 e. did not deny that the SAC made an allocation hat the tudents approved of, but drove home the assertion that their allocation was still unconstitutional. "If violating your duties is fulfilling your duties, then we really need to re-write the constitution." Regarding the sanctions, he responded, "The Student Court at this school has a precedent of handing down wacky punish ments like putting people up against the wall and jSEE "SAC" ON PAGE 7 I Philosophy candidate Furrow visits with students Professor Dwight Furrow is currently at the College of William and Mary by Darren Guild Dwight Furrow and the New College community got acquainted with each other last Thursday over a little philosophy. Professor Furrow is the first candidate to visit New College for an upcoming opening in New College's philosophy department cau ed by Doug Berggren's upcoming retirement. Professor Furrow read from his paper about moral agency in the postmodern age to a group of about 40 to 50 students and faculty in Hamilton Classroom 4. Professor Furrow received his undergraduate degree in philosophy from California State Northridge in 1985. He went on to earn a doctorate in Philosophy from the University of California Riverside in 1993. Professor Furrow currently teaches in the Philosophy department at the College of William Mary, where he has taught for the past four years. H1s areas of specialty are Ethics and Continental European Philosophy. Among the courses he has taught at the College of William and Mary are: Kant and 19th Century Philosophy, Environmental Ethics, Aesthetics, and seminars on Nietzsche and on Heidegger. In responding to a question posed after his lecture about what courses he would like to teach next year, Furrow said that he would like to do one class on Professor Furrow talks to students and faculty about post-modernism. Photo by Heather Whitmore


2 The Catalyst Federal Agents Seize Little Cuban Boy In pre-dawn hours Saturday, INS agents conducted an armed raid on Lazaro Gonzalez's house in Miami's Little Havana neighborhood, ending months of haggling and protesting by quickly snatching Elian Gonzalez and whisk ing him to Washington. He was reunited with his father and the family has been secluded on Andrews Air Force base. In Miami, small-scale riots broke out, as outraged Cuban-Americans set fires and blocked traffic throughout the city. The raid came after Attorney General Janet Reno became exasperated with the Miami rela tives and lost faith that the boy would be returned voluntarily. Lazaro Gonzalez, who has been the boy's guardian since Elian arrived after a voyage that took the life of his mother, did not take the boy to a pre-arranged turnover point when the government demanded it. Protesters outside the Gonzalez house, who have spoken of the boy in religious terms and sworn that he will never go back to Cuba, were unable to stop the raid-an attempt to form a human chain didn't work out exactly as promised, as agents stormed through it. Agents shot pepper spray at the crowd as it threw chairs at the INS mini-vans. The family had planned to allow live televi sion coverage if the government came to seize the boy, but agents reached the house before the camera crew. An Associated Press photog rapher did capture an agent confronting Elian and Donato Dalrymple, one of the fishermen who rescued Elian and who was a constant presence at the house, and the image set off a debate a: u e n aeries. eno said the gun was pointed to the side and the agent's f'mger was not on the trigger, which the image corroborates. Cuban-Americans raged through the streets on Saturday and Sunday, setting fire and block ing traffic. Several of the boy's Miami relatives, including Lazaro and Marisleysis Gonzalez, the latter who has taken the role of surrogate mother to the boy, flew to Washington on Saturday in an attempt to meet him, but were turned away at the gates of the base. On Sunday, they held an emotional press conference A Court of Appeals in Atlanta has ruled that the Cuban family cannot leave the country until the appeals process in finished. However, the Giitalyst General Editor Shanon Ingles Managing Editor Ben Ruby News family is rapidly extinguishing the appeals process, and they are currently arguing that the 6-year-old should be able to apply for political asylum against his father's wishes, a dubious legal position. Teen Killer Guilty of Lesser Charge Valessa Robinson, the Tampa teen who killed her mother while on LSD, was found guilty of third-degree murder last week. With her boyfriend and another friend, the three killed her mother, Vicki Robinson, dumped her body in the woods and took her money, making it as far as Texas before being captured. Valessa was 15 at the time. Her boyfriend, then 19-year-old Adam Davis, was convicted of first-degree murder and is currently on death row. Then 19-year-old Jon Whispel, who participated in the crimes of the couple, cut a deal with prosecutors and tes tified in exchange for a conviction on a lesser charge and a lighter sentence, 25 years in prison. Third-degree murder is a killing that occurs in the process of committing a lesser felony, in this case aggravated battery. The jury could have delivered a sentence of murder in the first degree. Valessa faces 13 to 20 years in prison. Sentencing is set for May 30. Declaring that "the Robinson case encom passes powerful themes that run through the lives of many families," the St. Petersburg Times has run a 12-part series on the case and its trial. It is available on its web site, Nation Commemorates Multiple Tragedies Last week saw a string of unpleasant an niveraries. It could easily have been the single most lethal week of the 90's. The 7-year an niversary of the disaster at Waco (April19), the 5-year anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing (April 19, not coincidentally), and the 1-year anniversary of the Columbine school shooting (April 20) all occurred this week. UF Frat Member dead after drinking party Eighteen-year-old Matthew Kaminer, a University of Florida freshman, was found dead in his fraternity house Thursday after noon, after a night of celebrations that included drinking. Members of the Alpha Epsilon Pi fra-April 26, 2000 temity, who are predominately Jewish, cele brated Passover at another location before returning to the house to celebrate a friend's birthday. The next morning, Kaminer did not respond when a when another resident attempted to wake him. He was observed drinking in the early morning hours Thursday. This fraternity was cited last summer for violations of the school's alcohol policy after a student had to be taken to a hospital. Americans believe in Miracles A poll commissioned by Newsweek maga zine indicates that 85 percent of Americans believe that miracles occur, and over half be lieve they have personally experienced them. According to data collected, 79 percent believe in the reality of miracles described in the Bible. 67 percent have prayed to God or a Saint for a miracle, mainly for recovery of a loved one from a health crisis. 'Student Union' more than food at NYU Graduate student TAs are comparing their lot to that of Gilded Age factory workers, and coming to an old conclusion: Unionize! This week, 1,400 graduate students at New York University will vote on enabling representa tives to engage in collective bargaining with their school. If formed, the Union will be a part of the United Autoworkers. Twelve Public colleges already have Grad Student Unions. "What we're looking for is rec i o fro e niver i y t we're adults who provide a service," freshman English teacher and labor leader Laura Tanenbaum told the Associated Press. Tropical Rainforests Deforested The rate of rainforest deforestation, accord ing to a recent study, has not been improved notably by recent conservation efforts, and continues along at a healthy clip of 1 hectare per second. If you have any pressing appoint ments in the rainforest, we suggest you take care of them soon. Information taken from Associated Press, St. Petersburg Times, and Independent Florida Alligator (UF). The Catalyst is available on the World Wide Web at Contributions may range in length from 250 to 500 words. Letters to the Editor should be no more than 250 words. Submissions should be labeled as either letters to the Editor or contributions and include names and contact information. Layout Editors Mario Rodriguez and Michael Sanderson Online Editor and Buisness Manger Nikki Kostyun The Catalyst is an academic tutorial spon sored by Professor Maria Vesperi. It is developed in the New College Publications Office using Adobe Photoshop and Quark Xpress for PowerMacintosh and printed at the Bradenton Herald with money provided by the New College Student Alliance. Submissions may be saved to the Catalyst Contributions folder in the on the "Public" file server, printed submissions may be placed in campus box 75, and all other contributions may be e-mailed to catalyst@virtu.sar.usfedu. No anonymous submissions will be accepted. Copy Editor Kathryn Dow Photography Heather Whitmore and Kelly Jones Staff Writers Max Campell, Darren Guild, Ryan McCormick Price, Esq., Leah Schnelbach Direct submissions and inquiries to: The Catalyst 5700 N. Tamiami Tr. Box #75 Sarasota, FL 34243 catalyst@virtu.sar. usfedu The Catalyst reserves the right to edit submissions for space, grammar or style. All submissions must be received by 5:00 p.m. Saturday in order to appear in the following week's issue.


3 The Catalyst News Speaker sheds light on life and death in today's Iraq April 26, 2000 The event was characterized by a a sparse student presence. by Max Campbell In a world accusations _of genocide have become sadly common and defmtte of genoctde only marginally less so, the stories of dymg and nahons often go unheard or disbelieved until it is far too late. Thts ts why Ingrid Swenson came to New College on Sunday April16 to tell the tale of ho'_V our own country is destroying another: Iraq: In her presentation, sponsored by the Sarasota Religious Society of ?nes." For this reason, is denied the use of such potentially harmful Items as ambula?ces, for.klifts, laser surgery equipment, CAT-scans or MRis and X-ray machme repau parts. Und_er _the oil-for-food arrangement, Swenson explained, Iraq is allowed to sell hmtted amounts of oil in exchange for necessary foods and medicines. The money the of the oil goes directly into an escrow account at the U.N., while the Iraq government writes out contracts for what it wishes Before the GulfWar, "Iraq had health care statistics simi-to that money, which then go to the sanctiOn commtttee for review. "This is where the U.S. uses it's veto power to deny needed goods to Iraq," she said. "The Iraqis have no way of getting at that money, themselves." Fnends (Quakers), Swenson attempted to use her ?Wn firsth_and perspective to cut through the dark mage which that nation has in American society, and reveal the untold story of the suffering of the Iraqt Swenson, now retired, is a graduate of John Hopkms University, where she spent 14 years as a student, nursing supervisor, and research faculty lar to those of Europe Wc spent a 20 year career on the faculty of e re And for every $100 in that account Swenson $15 goes directly to the Kurdhs, osten Sibly due to the repression they have suffered under the Iraqi government. "The U.S.A. is trying to shore up the Kurdhish minority to undermine Saddam Hussein's control," Swenson opined. She added that of the rest of the money "85% is then distributed over the country as a 30% of that is then taken for reparations to Kuwait, and another 5-10% for U.N. expenses. And so, 45-50% of the oil revenues are left for distribution over 85% of the population of Iraq, with the Kurdhs getting their extra 15%." In addition to this those Kurdhish areas, which went undamaged 'in the Gulf War and control 48% percent of the nations are n?w cut off from the majority of the lraqt population by the U.N. imposed no-fly the UmversJty of North Carolina in Chapel Hill a1ki b d she taught in the of nursing and not t ng a out a eveloptng he health, as well as bemg a fellow in the Carolina Populati?n. Center. _An active member of the Florida country; they had Council, a Roman Catholic peace orga mzatlon, Swenson was one of the 60 members of the January 2000 Iraq Sanctions/International Action Center Delegation delivering medicine to Iraq. Also among them was former Attorney General Ramsey Since her return from Iraq, she has been trav eling the state and giving presentations about her experiences and the conditions she discovered there. sophisticated and technological medical standards ... The sanctions are Swenson began. her talk by applying her past just the surface of the iceberg issues, ""'8Dd often seen in coming out of Iraq. This makes Bangladesh look good by comparison, what's happening there." She explained that the civilian infrastructure of the na tion had been effectively destroyed by Gulf War bombings of oil riggings, power plants, and sewage systems. "We're talking about conditions worse than those in a third world country," She said. "In third world countries, the people there have developed ways of dealing with no indoor plumbing; in Iraq, they were used to a high level of technology." There's a horrible up by members of her modest audience, Swenson stressed the revolutionary aspects of Saddam Hussein's regime over the repressive ones. While admitting that Hussein's strong-arm tactics were "certainly objectionable, brutal repression," she placed an emphasis on the Iraqi president's desire to bring his nation into the 20th century. humanitarian crisis due to the total collapse of their physical Before the Gulf War, Swenson said, "Iraq had health care statistics similar to those of Europe. We're not talking about a developing country; they had sophisticated and technological medical stan dards." She said that, incredibly enough, the news of Iraq's starving and disease-riddled children is the least of the nation's problems: "The sanctions are just the surface of the iceberg of what America has environment, and their currency is now worth almost "They were essentially operating in the 16th century,'' she said. "Their leaders wanted to bring them into the 20th century, even if they had to kill off half of the population to do it Saddam Hussein's secret police is that part of their old tribal network which supports him, and which he uses to keep the rest of that network down." In any event, Swenson said, "Before the war, Iraq had a health care system that was a model for the world, and h not tng. Ingrid Swenson been doing to destroy this nation. There's a horrible humanitarian crisis due to the total collapse of their physical environment, and their currency is now worth almost nothing." While their nation was badly damaged during the Gulf War, Swenson said, even worse harm is being done to the Iraqis through America's refusal to allow them the materials to rebuild their country: "they're denied any tech nology, and allowed only to import limited amounts of foods and basic medicines. [Importation of] chemotherapy drugs is blocked by the United States, on the grounds that they may be used for the development of chemi cal weapons." Due to this, Iraq now has a 100% mortality rate for leukemia. Swenson explained that cancer rates in southern Iraq were now "astronomi cal," due to the dissemination of depleted uranium and poisonous chemicals from bombed chemical plants into the environment: "it was ghoulish, kind of a nightmare what was done to that country." America, through our right of veto on the United Nations Security Council, is currently blocking any research or equipment which may aid in assessing or treating the problem of the pollution, as that may also be used for chemical and weapons research. "Objects as mundane as light switches are blocked due to the concept of 'dual use,"' Swenson explained. "Supposedly, they could be used for military purposes as well as civilian they repeatedly got rewards for their literacy programs from UNICEF, and their female population had more liberty than that of many other middle-eastem nations. Their government can't be completely exploitive." As she concluded her remarks, Swenson described America's treatment of Iraq as "a crime against humanity; you can't really call it anything else." She told the Catalyst that, to her, "the Gulf War was one of the most horrible crimes that one country has ever committed against another. It was a defin ing moment in my life. And then came the aftermath, the country being tortured to death." Over the past several weeks of speaking about her journey to Iraq to interested parties at universities and high schools, Swenson said that she has seen the fuJI range of reaction to her talks, "from absolute good to absolute bad. The best reactions are when people become determined to make a difference and change the situation." And the worst reaction? "One woman said that she hoped the sanctions would go on forever," Swenson recalled. "She said that she hoped that all of the Iraqi children would die, because otherwise they'd only grow up to become the next army. She made an analogy to Germany after World War I, saying that if we'd let Germany die then, World War ll wouldn't have happened."


4 The catalyst Entertainment April 26, 2ooo Fetish ball attendees get down, get funky, get whipped Campus police checked for guest passes at the doors to Hamilton Center. by Kathryn Dow Saturday night, Hamilton Center held New College's own little post-apocalyptic prom. Entering through a red plastic hallway, sundents and non-students alike entered the normally drab building. Strings of red lights hung from the ceil ing, casting a hellish glow over the area where just hours earlier, students had eaten their Marriott dinners. A three-tiered stage rose from the middle of the dance floor, where the more daring atten dees could put their moves on display. The fishbowl was converted into a dungeon of sorts, with a spinning rack for strapping in the submis sively inclined. Strawberries, grapes and chocolate were provided for the decadent, and the floors were covered in plastic so that the massage oil wouldn't find its way into the carpet. The or giastic free-for-all known as Fetish Ball was underway. Like Queer Ball, before it, this party was held inside. Many people commented on how much this made it feel like a high-school dance-with a twist. It was like all the freaks from one town had banded together to hold a prom of their own. The event was held in Hamilton Center to provide a filtering system to keep out unsponsored non-stu dents, with a check-in table providing guest passes for those who were at the ball with students. This system seemed to work fairly wC:ll? if police re en e night went w ell by the Campus Police s t andards, with only one incident o f criminal mischief taking place. The men's restroom inside Ham Center was victimized by a destructive human force that left approximately 300 dollars in damages in its wake. (Campus Police are still investigating the case, which is believed to have been perpetrated by non-students, and would appreciate help from any witnesses who may have seen the occurrence.) That incident notwithstanding, Captain J.D. Withrow feels the night went succesfully. "I was not paged all night, and that's always a good sign." He said he rested secure in the knowledge that "everything was going well, or [his] officers were being held in bondage racks against their will." He elaborated that although there may still be "a need to tweak the guest pass system," it had the desired result of keeping the numbers manageable. The safety measures, though, also created a constant throng near the front of Ham Center. Glass bottles were taboo inside, as was smoking, so those with a "Heinie" in one hand and a Camel in the other spent much of their fetishy evening outdoors, on a pleasantly cool night. And without One could have visited Mistress Molly Robinson at the entrance of Fetish Ball's dungeon, which was located in the Fishbowl. Photo taken by Heather Whitmore guest passes, many non-students found them e g rne away e ore t ey ad a c h a n ce t o a tt end a t all. Many of t hose who were admitted sported unique attire. A tattered angel in white wandered about, clearing her own space on the dance floor with her wire wings. She was accompanied by a black-clad demoness of sorts, who spent a fair bit of time in the dungeon. One student had mathe matical equations neatly written on her exposed shoulders, expressing her affinity for arithmetic. Another had myriad strings of Mardi Gras beads flung about her neck, offsetting her golden, glittery nipples. Most of the Catholic school girls were actually boys, and one beatiful woman seen walking through Palm Court turned out to be a man. Others simply dressed to the nines in metal and leather. Though the "slave to fashion" theme wasn't terribly apparent in the decor, it was wellrepresented by the crowd. The music in the main room was primarily "bootie music", which pleased many, but left a bad taste in others' mouths. Some students who ran to the floor for a well-loved 80's song fled just as quickly when it was followed, with no transition, by something one would expect to bear on main stream rap radio. For the most part, though, the music seemed well-received. For those who wanted a grittier ambience the selections in the dungeon were a bit more goth-industrial oriented. Organizer Anna Maria Diaz-Balart, third-year, explained the intent of the music selection. "Basically, there were four kinds of music," she said. She explained that in the main room, she tried to alternate between "bad bootie rap, stripper techno, funk, and 80's." She wanted the muse to be high-energy and danceable, although she freely admitted that much of it was intended to be so awful that it was humorous. (This might explain the playing of "My Baby Daddy.") She and thesis student Tracy Rosebrock wanted to create a fetish ball that was comfortable for everybody, which was one reason for choosing Hamilton Center. "Because the cops want controlled access to our parties," Diaz-Balart said, they had a choice be tween College Hall and Ham Center. They chose Ham Center because it had the option of a separate room for the dungeon, and also because she felt C o ll ege H all was "not, overcrowded, and under toileted." Another goal of the organizers was to create a party atmosphere that "might make parties in Palm Court a more palatable idea to the authori ties." Diaz-Balart was pleased with the party overall, and said she "had a great time, and thinks other people did too." Considering it was in Ham Center, she said, it went very well, though she hopes nobody else ever has to throw a party in the drab Center again. Students partied in the room of their choice, went outside to smoke, and eventually headed to bed after some hours of revelry. As second-year student and Catalyst staffer Ryan McCormick Price quipped: n1 partied 'till snorfled." Philosophy candidate discusses moral agency and ambiguity !FROM "CANDIDATE" ON PAGE 11 Ethical Theory, another on Postmodern '---------------' Modem, and a seminar on Nietzsche. He said that he was "very, very impressed by the students ... by their intel lectual ability, but especially their curiosity." Professor Furrow's lecture lasted approximately an hour. He spoke of the pragmatic utilitarian (or instrumental) concept of agency in the postmodern age. Furrow found difficulties in moral decision making during the post modem age, specifically in the act of compassion, because of the ambiguity that dominates the postmodem way of looking at things. "Ambiguity under mines our ability to flow," Professor Furrow stated. Professor Berggren commented that Furrow "ended up with a romantic conception of effective resonance." Professor Berggren, however, voiced an objection in the ques tion-answer period after Professor Furrow's talk. Berggren's objection was to the effect that Furrow's presentation spoke only of the distinction between the enlightenment and the subsequent romanticism that followed, failing to further clarify moral agency in the postmodem age. Laughter erupted in the room when Professor Berggren ended his objection by asking "So are you a vegetarian or a hypocrite?" Student reactions to Professor Furrow were mixed. First-year David Barnett had mixed feelings about Professor Furrow. Barnett commented "I think that what they [people at the lecture] were looking for was more of a presentation ... as he [Furrow] might teach a class. But I liked him and his qualifications fit the position very well." Third-year Mike Milton agreed that Professor Furrow was suited for the position. Milton also liked the fresh per spective that Professor Furrow could bring to New College's Philosophy Department. "I thought that his interest in Psychology would be a welcome addition to the Philosophy department ... we have not really had anyone with that interest." An inside source at the College of William and Mary, former student Fritz Schoephlin, took a class on ethics with Professor Furrow in the fall semester. "I liked him a lot at first, but as the semester went on I found that his lectures were long." Another candidate for the Philosophy position is coming to campus this week.


5 The Catal st Entertainment 2000 Kids in the Ha '' sport hair, sa The reunion tour is taking place almost six years after their last show. rea t h by ikki Kostyun In the past f< w decades, Canatla ha offered many icons of entertaiun1tmt to S habitant o one would dare defame the legacies carved into American pop-culture by such _Canuck as Cetine Dion, Jason Priestley, and Alex Trebek. Ho:vever, tS one band of cross-dre. sing boys that, as a whole. stand out m the mmd o Northern Americans like a man with cabbage for a head stands out in a crowd. "Jne. e "Kids in the Hall,' with their off-b at sketch comedy a d headrushing humor, have reunit d for a Y2K to r, almost six years after their Ia t episode was produc 'd. "And to think, only two veek ago the c hands were haring a fatty with Jamiroquai," commented Kathy with a K (or is it Cathy witb a C?) in the op ning ", cretarie mite" sketch of last Thurday's how at the Hard Rock cafe in Orlando. Kathy, as her original player Scott Thompson, meet up with the other athy and the whole ecretary gang after having left their place of employment, 1\ and Love, ivc y ar ago. The opening sketch got all five Kiddies on tagc, in full and awkward drag, a d va a clever introduction into the show and a synopsis of their hiatu From here th Kids performed sketch af er sketch r ketch, covering a I the favorite bases. he scene backdrops were ca ily manipul, ted, for the state was adorned with an approximately 12-foot-high roje lion tclcvi ion, clo. d in on either !)ide by equally tall projection screens, and all three pro vided background stills for e ery sketch. ollowing th ir alternative and reputation, many ketches incorporated the projection creen as either vide clips starting the sketch, or a et-changing dllring the cene. "The computer to me i more teriou than the pu sy," comment Thompson a Buddy Cole, th elegantly flamboyant barfly. on hi barstool, legs eros ed, robed in sequins himmer and ipping a martini, Buddy entertain and informed th au i nc witti t he did on HBO a deca ag After a while the Kids appeared to exude a en great comfort wir lhcir ;tnci sketches. 0 ould tell the sketch comedy wa what they all loved to do, and were able to make a name for t doino it. Mark McKinney and Kid pretty boy Foley recreated tbc infamous "Chicken Lady'' sketch complete with gravel, grub and eggs fresh from bod;. While Dave has a more-to love tummy bleach blonde spiked hair and Mark i just a Mar the sketch wa flawless and ended with character, Max, running from the Chicken Lad apartment, creaming for hi life. '!he Kids in the flail (from left to nght): Mark McKinney, Daw Scott 'fhomp. on, Bruce McCullough, Ke in McDonald. comment Bruce Me ullough a Gavin. hi. inquisitive and matter-of-fact eighl car-old offered perbap the most valuable bit of wi. dom in the history of the sketch comedy. Sir Simon Minigan, or Kevin McDonald, welcomed the audience to the Pit of \t,mate Darkne. s, dirty lying, evil, and oh ye frequ nt bing. Something new to y o urs truly th.e " 2000'' sketch, an evangelical infomerctal-hke gim mick in order to ell the new and improved Jes Christ. Bruce an Mark, complete with yuppie and body mics, were intent on selling wor hip that is more in turte with today' culture, antl all at low price "What kind of God would allow random drug testing in 1he workplace?" Well, Jesus .2000 does, and the best part i "the more you wor h1p, the more you ave." Thi r porter's per onal Kid favorite character,_ Ga in, came in a ketch as an unc pected treat. "One ttme, one ummer, me and my dad built a veranda. Without any Second-vear aul Malkow k1 found that "the show Mark Mckinney is crushing your made it obvious that KJ H built their reputation on raw head. talent and kill at writing, acting and improvising. They Si r Si mon Milligan (riglu, K evin M c Donald) and his mt,mservant Hecubus ffJ:>ft r>11 a r e t h e vawns o f ewl. teracted with the audience with a mode ty that'. rare th1 side of the Canadian border." U throughout, taying rrue to their ational root, the Kr'd worked through mi ing props, transpo d ll_n s, and con tant 1 oth the player and the audience. Any heckling attempts were qutckly incorporated and made fun of, or combatted and thrown back mto the be k Jcr's face. t 1 he final sketch featured a medley of all_ ulto one me asketch. It feature the ultimate dysfunctional famtly, tncludmg th Salty am usband Gordon, Overprotective Mother Fran and.her ,homosex_ual, or as h would put it, hy on. Ending with a Jesus Chnst song and dane the ids ran off tage only to come ,on or an core. cott 10mp.on a "Running Faggot" completed the Kid 7:00 prn gtg at the Hard Rock ive. f hefi d The boys clapp d and bowed, spending a_good, amount o time an after the encore on stage, basking m the aud1ence s appt.ausc and chee.nng. It was obviou they not on l y enjoy their fame and but the fans for it, and in tum fla bed a big "TIIA K YOU to the a dtence on the mega TV screen. I could ay a Jot more, but I mu:.t be gozng. I'm in the middle of a big bike race.


6 The Catalyst News Town Meeting full of sound and fury Until the SAC case came up, the meetng was rushed by Ryan McCormick Price, Esq Molly Robinson heralded the opening of the Town Meeting last Tuesday, April 1 8, with the announcement that she had not had any sleep in the recent past, and was, in no particular order "pissed off," tired and sorry she was late because of it. This set the tone for the very disoriented and disjointed bit of mass democracy that was to follow. This re porter immediately rec{)gnized that problems were brewing before the meeting even offi cially began. When the traditional free pizza arrived, box after box was found to contain nothing but pepperQni & mushrooms or veg gie pizza No simple pepperoni pizza? Not even basic cheese? Chaos was undoubtedly imminent. Snappish tempers arose early in the meet ing, as Robinson took umbrage at Student Court Chief Justice Jeb Lund's comment over yet another set of missing Town Meeting minutes. Some order was restored as Andrea Garrod took the microphone to make a series of announcements regarding the Council of Student Affairs' policies on orientation. Apparently they are still searching for people interested in assisting with the orientation process for this upcoming year; some will be required to stay on campus over the summer or training, whereas others will be trained when they return by those who stayed. Also, tbe CSA announced that there is a search in pro gress for someone to fill the posi t i on o f Assis tan t D ire cto r of S tu d ent Life. Worried students were assured that this w as not Tom Barnard s position; he will rema in where he is for the time being. The Assistant Director is the role Tim Richardson filled dur ing his time here; it involves supervision of housing, budget, facilities, housekeeping, maintenance, and student discipline. If stu dents have any viable ideas on ideal candidates for this position, they are encour aged to contact someone immediately. It does not particularly matter whom they choose to contact. President Rachael Morris took the stand next, and announced that a letter of commen dation was being drafted on behalf of the student body for USF president-elect Judy Genshaft. In other student correspondence news, a letter of protest was being drafted by the regional USF campuses against USF Tampa's athletic fee policy. President Morris assured us that all the wee little campuses are united against the Man in this situation. In closing, Morris mentioned some amendments to the heavily-doctored (and ironically named) New College Declaration of Independence. These regarding policies for the allotment of fees, particularly those that affect areas with costs shared between University Program budget and the New College budget. These amendments were both passed in the election. The Student Court, according to a con sensus among its justices, had no branch report. It was announced by Molly Robinson that there were numerous empty spots on the ballot for the upcoming election (which took place Wednesday April 19) Among them were the positions of Student Court Public Defender and positions on the Space Committee, Food Service Committee, and Fitness Center Committee. It was further more mentioned that tomorrow's ballot would also allow students to vote on a proposed amendment which would force New College to become a more open, friendly environ ment. June Gwalthney came forward with a brief, heartfelt statement to the effect that al though paid positions were being offered for students who chose to go on Dorm Patrol" (effectively a roving student security force) during PCPs, she "felt in [her] heart that out of the goodness of our hearts, and for the good of New College," students would volun teer for the duties rather than accept payment. Molly Robinson lent her support with the comment: "Dorm Patrol; bust townies; do it." Next Fred Bowen, the official New College e-guru and moderator of both the list serv and the online e-Forum, came forward with an announcement paralleling the one released on the r tse co a n r students to use the e-Forum. Bowen further mentioned that the listserv would no longer accept messages regarding summer housing arrangements. An ovation was prop o sed f o r B o w en, an d g r anted almo s t un an imous l y An ova tion was a lso g r anted to Austin E l iazar for h is work in upda t ing the oft forgotten NCSA webpage. Michael Shannon suggested that students who didn't like receiving constant listserv mail could select to receive it in di gest form. At this point Cathy Heath of the SAC made a motion to limit further discus sion to 10 minutes in order to facilitate getting to the main event of the Town Meeting, so blood could really start boiling efficiently. The motion was upheld, and Molly Robinson subsided with one last com ment warning students not to offer free sex on the e-Forum. At last, the battle was imminent. With the air of the referee of a steel cage match at WrestleMania, noble President Rachael Morris came forward with the fondly warning announcement that 'We at New College all love each other ... in theory," and we should behave accordingly ... in theory. From there, venom began to flow as the SAC and the Student Court waged war, and every student demanded their right to stand up and talk pro fusely. (see article page 1). Apr i l 26, 2000 Comments on the Constitution "If the Constitution isn't perfect, it's still the Constitution. And if it's not perfect, amend it, revise it, put it on the ballot, but until then, these are the ru1es we have to live by. In the constitution ... anything that this body says, goes. If a branch violates the decision of the Town Meeting, and the Town Meeting says that that's okay ... you're surrendering the right of this body under the constitution, and you're surrendering your rights as students, and ou're m io-nino-o 0 the direct democracy system we' re supposed to operate under." -Rachael Morris "What kind of constitution do you want for your school? Looking at this if there are fifty people at a town meeting, and they vote on an issue, it becomes law at New College. We know there are problems with the constitution. Our forefathers didn't make a perfect constitution. What we are working towards is to make it a constitution that works, so that we can have a student government that works, so that everybody has a voice." -Cathy Heath


7 The Catalyst Opinion April 26, 2000 Editoria : Town Meetng in need of reform The Town Meeting has decided to put the regrettable SAC-Student Court scandal behind us. Unfortunately, there are serious flaw with the Town Meeting ystem, and this ca e only serves to bring tho e flaws into sharper relief. Section of the CSA are in dire need of reforms. voting. The simple solution is to require anyone with bu iness to bring be fore the meeting copies of the text of which they want legal approval. If an item is simple enough, uch as confirmation of officers, it could be included in the agenda itself (which would be in the hands of voting students). Only in extraordinary circumstance should the secretary have to take dictation of a motion and read it back. The Town Meeting is a good place to start. During the SAC trial it became apparent that there where no minutes for the Town Meeting in que tion, and the NSCA docs not have a written record of what resolutions had been pa ed. At all Town Meeting knowledge of normal parliamentary procedure i sorely lacking. This is especially clear when speakers have to jump up and explain rules to the moderator as the meeting is in progres It is customary to call for votes even while the motion was only verbally shouted before Third, the Town Meeting must follow normal parliamentary procedure. A Student Assembly, the Town Meeting's actual official title, has codified rules of operating, which, while written by dead white men, are still used because they provide order to what can become a chaotic gathering. They're written the debate-frustrating especially given the acou tics of Palm Court. Conducted this way, there's justifiable confu ion as to the purpo e out in Robert's Rules of Order; the library has four copies, and it's avail able online. Furthermore, the officers should see that at least a few person familiar with the rules make it into the audience, o that they can call for votes and move the process along as is necessary. of holding (and attending) a Town Meeting. Do not let the occasional theatrics, bribery of food, or terse AI o, the secretary hould take minutes as to the approximate or exact vote on the (written) motions; these motions and the agenda should then be kept on file at the NCSA offices. tyle of the moderator fool you: the Student Assembly i an ac tual, official part of the NCSA, and thus connected to the school admini tration and outside legal y tern Once the legal require ments for the meeting have been achieved, the Student Assembly becomes a legal body, and respect for the anctity of our direct democ-racy should be accorded. The Catalyst has several uggestions to improve this critical institution. First, the CSA con titution call for the Pre ident to "set arid post pub licly" a Town Meeting agenda at least two days in advance, and given that there is a copy center available on campus, it's not unreasonable to ask that agendas be distributed some time in advance or at least at the meeting. After the SAC cri is broke out, the officers passed out copies of the agenda at the February meeting, which di turbingly gave the date as "today." This should be regular policy, but in advance. Finally, the other branches need to understand that when or dinary students take their time to come out and vote on how they want their government to act, the letter and pirit of what they decide must be re pected. What the Student Court (which pent the fall semester in its own state of di array) attempted to affirm wa that despite the lack of evidence, a Town Meeting occured and that a certain expression of student will took place, as fit the memories of disinterested attendees. A later Town Meeting decided that a friendlier eries of events took place. This regrettable case is behind us, but the issues remain--perhaps to emerge in an overzealous Pre ident in the future. Second, everything the Town Meeting votes on, whether a binding mo tion or straw poll, should be in writing-and preferably in the hands of tho e From the very beginning of the SAC case, it was taken as a personal vendetta. That is not the case-active students of a legal bent want a stronger, healthier student government, and that can only happen by ensuring the va lidity of our primary institutions. S t u d e ts at !FROM "SAC" ON PAGE 1 I shooting them with water _____ __. guns like a firing squad." First-year acting justice June Gwalthney wa .m?re uc cinct. "Our basic ca e is ju t that the SAC dectded uphold a Town Meeting ruling. That'. the 1 ue here, that's what we saw, there's one httle anctton, no other i sues." Students then hashed out the issues for about twenty minute Fourth-year student Margaret. Hughes about the importance of the Town v01ced the opinion that the town meeting, even tf onl_y peo ple attend, does serve an important functiOn m that people actually come out and debate the i sue By v.oting to overturn, might the Town Meeting be. ex pres mg di regard for it elf? Jen Shaw poke next, wtth an anal ogy. "If ... in the state of Florida ... you all get a ballot that says 'would you like to pay a nine cent .sale and in the Florida Constitution it ays that af there s a sales tax that's more than five cent then everyone has to vote on it. So you take it to the Town Meeting, and everyone's like 'I don't want a nine cent sales Later it turns out it was a typo all along, and really at a three cent sales tax, and there's nothing in the constatu tion about having to take a three cent sales tax to the populus. And o then, the legi lation passes a three cent sale tax. That i basically what happened." It became increasingly clear that opinions on the charges conflicted. Many student at the Town Meetang felt that the constitution had been violated, but the SAC had not misallocated fund Alisdair Lee, a fourth-year, said that there wa no reason to condemn the SAC ju t becau e what they had done was uncon titutional. "I agree that the town meeting is the highest blah blah fuck ing blah and all that stuff .... So I agree with the Student Court's decision that this was .t?.ut I don't even agree with the fact that they want to punish the SAC." Voices became snippy, and it became increas ingly obvious that everybody involved wa very tired of the whole issue. Even the vote wasn't cut and dry. Mter a few attempts at counting, people in favor were herded to a corner, where they were counted and dismis ed. Those oppo ed were then herded to the same comer for easier counting. The final vote was 30 for and 27 against, with ten ab stentions. A vote this close shows that there may till be unre olved issues for a lot of people, even if the ca e is closed. The bigge t problem with all of thi may have been the fact that the two charges were not brought After the meeting, Patrick Armshaw said "I'm t a ht tle annoyed at the prosecutor for not having spht up two charges to begin with. Having the of at the same time i ridiculou ... if someone dtsagrees wath one, then they have to shoot the whole thing down." After t_he fact, Michael Shannon, the fourth-year tudent onginally brought the charge again t the SAC, saad that he still feels the SAC acted unconstitutionally. He also lamented the rudeness surrounding the whole ordeal. "I feel it says omething about this he said, "when omeone is criminalized and ostracized for car ing, rather than being approached by those who disagree." As for the constitution it elf, he contitution works just fine. The problem wtth !t 1 nobody reads it, and when they do, they don t read tt well." the original coverage of the ca e can be found at: umeXI/ssue2/art2.htm Letter to The Editor: A reader's response to previous articles, let ters and/or editorials, or an opinion that is intended to be shared with the student body. Letters to the Editor should be no more than 250 words, and are not a forum for free advertising. Contribution: A factual article written by someone not on staff. Contributions should be informa tive and pertinent to the interests of ew College students as a whole. Contributions may range in length from 250-500 words. Guest Column: A solicited opin ion piece. Guest columni ts do not necessarily represent the views of the Catalyst, but rather opinions of which we feel the ew College community should be made aware. Guest columns may range in length from 250-500 words. All submissions should be turned into box 75 or e-mailed to catalyst@virtu, by Friday at5pm.


'-" 8 Th Announcements E v e r w a n t ed t o s e e a 12 FOOT VIB RAT O R? R efreshments g a l ore Co m e to a ONE NIGHT ONLY ex hibition/ op e n house/party in the S culpture Building at Caples Fine Arts Com pl ex (next t o the Ringling Museum),Thursday, May 4, 8 PM. S o on ... we'll d o the TIME WARP AGAIN! Be sure to catch the Transparent Skin exhibit at the CFA building. Don't you want to see cute mice in cute snakes' tummies? Miniature and Gigantic sculptures by seven New College students. The Great Cockroach Revolution Student Life Committee Representatives -(2) 57 Katherine Paul Moppets 53 Charlie Quiroz 1 Willow Haley 70 Jake Thomas 1 Simon Davis 59 Kenneth Williams 1 Jesse Weiner 113Abstain 1 Jake Thomas 1 Kenneth Williams Housing Committee 1 Rob Cooksey Representatives -(2) 1 Any starving Goth 133 Andrea Garrod boy 2 Steve Yacco 1 Any starving Goth 2 Those homeless girls girl 73 Linds ey L uxa who live at the back en326 Abstain 51 Katherine "Pete trance to first court 1 Daniel Pettit Fitness Center 1 Andrew Hossack 1 Maggie Phillips Committee 1 Steve Yacco 1 Mathew Moore Representatives -(2) 50 Abstain 1 Anyone Other than 62 VJjay Sivaraman Andrea 56 Aaron Delgado Year Student 1 Andrew Sylvia 4 Nadia Stegman Committee 1 Ginny "Vagina" 1 Steve Yacco Vitello 1 Ryan Martin 1 Katherine Paul 1 Jerry Lewis 139 Shannon Donn 1 Cassandra 1 Pete Mahoney 1 Sam Kragel Tannenbaun 1 Rob Cooksey 1 Steve Yacco 1 Rob Cooksey 225Abstain 1 Maggie Phillips 206 Abstain 34Abstain Educational Policy Food Service Committee (EPC) Committee Representatives -(2) Committee Representatives-(2) 85 Lori Eisenburg 3 Mari McGrath 83 April Johnson -(2) 2 Ken Silvennan 108 Peter Brinson 117 Julia Skapik Runoff Election 76Abstain 112 Cathy Heath Necessary 2 Not a Criminal 2 Sara "I am the food Natural Science 1 Aaron Delgado service committee" Representatives -(2) 1 Karen Halperin Seidel 55 Carolina Pilonieta 1 Maggie Phillips 1 SaraJ ayn Kemp 53 Hanyi Zhuang 1 JebBush 1 Dave Lanfrom 61 Steven Hartman 1 Mr. "T." 1 Elouise Matthews 95 Kate Hubbard 1 Steve Yacco 1 Ann Stegman 5 Danny Gonzalez 1 Rob Cooksey 1 Dustin Fridkin 1 Steve Yacco 1 Any living soul but 1DannyWood 82Abstain ulia 1 Steve Yacco 113Abstain 1 Katie Anania Humanities 1 Joven Carandang Representatives-(2) h as be g un. Please proceed to the nea res t steep cliff. No, really. That Time Warp thing was on the level. We're totally seri ous. Beware of, and flee from ... Viking Party tomorrow at ten p.m. behind Viking Dorms in grassy area. Please do not show up. Screw your roomate, Screw your friend at the B-Dorm Soiree this weekend ... 118 Eddie Vazquez 116 Andrew Jay 129 Ian VandeWalker 1 Nicole Morgan 1 Steve Yacco 174Abstain 1 David Nezelek 1 Babe Pacyniak Library Committee 102Abstain Representatives (2) 115 Shane Carpenter Social Science SO Tom Hoke Representative-(2) 1 Crystal Oliver 113 Shanon Ingles 1 Erin Hoke 98 Leslie Trinkle 1 Justus l>oenecke 18 David Nezelek 1 Rob Cooksey 1 Patric k Arm sha w 1 My Bum 1 Billy Annstrong 1 Glumbus, the one1 Sam Ozer eyed buck-toothed 1 Steve Yacco drum playing freak boy 1 Amanda Kelley 181Abstain 118Abstain Student Academic Environmental Studies Status Committee Steering Committee (SASC) Representatives -(1) Representatives -(2) 146 Ethan Hirsch124 Emily Meade Tauber 128 Bonnie Read 2 Jessica Noon1 Anyone other than Mosquera Bonnie 1 David Nezelek 99Abstain 27 Abstain Space Committee International Studies Representatives -(2) Committee 136 Ezequiel Williams Representatives -(3) 29 Korin Wheeler 127 Lauren Hansen 1 Steve Yacco 78 Myriam Alvarez 1 Bryan Ozer 2 Maggie Ray 1 Rob Cooksey Runoff Election 1 Alena Scandura Necessary l83Abstain 2 Courtney Nagar 1 Tony Clifton Student Court Justices l Jake Thomas (2) 1 Rob Cooksey 107 Amanda Cross 1 Andy Kaufman 116 June Gwalthney 315Abstain 1 Not a Martyr 128Abstain Admissions Committee Representatives -(3) Student Prosecutor 107 Andrea Balboa (1) 130 Rochelle Currey 78 Andrew Portner 1 Ben Ruby 1 Mario Rodriguez 1 Rose Eagle 1 Nikki Kostyun 1 Jenny Kim 1 June Gwalthney 1 Steve Yacco 1 Shane Riley 1 Rob Cooksey 89Abstain Public D e f e nder ( 1 ) 81 Katie Helms 2 Ryan McConnick Price, Esq 1 Gladas Seaselman 1 Chris Pettit 1 Anna Montana 1 Rob Cooksey 1 Steve Yacco 88Abstain Constitutional Amendments (2/3 majority required for passage) Amendment One: 146 Yes 17 No 13 Abstain Amendment Passes Declaration of Independence Amendments (2/ 3 rna-jority required for passage) Amendment 1: 148 Yes 9 No 19 Abstain Amendment Passes Amendment 2: 150 Yes 10 No 16 Abstain Amendment Passes

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