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, Ne,vs News of the World: The Crisis in Kosovo Sheinbein Murder Tria] -page4 Opinion Diversity is advantageous for New College -pageS Volume VIII, Issue 7 april fools! April 1, 1999 Candidate explains new theory of Earth's inner structure Michael Bergman is interested in research, teaching more upper level physics classes by Mario Rodriguez Michael Bergman the third and final cand i date for two new physics positions at New College, spoke on Friday March 19, in Selby 12. He presented his model explaining the differences between the speed and amplitude of waves passing through the Earth at different locations. Earthquake waves, for example, move faster and are more powerful at higher latitudes than at the equa tor. Experts disagree on the inner structure of the Earth the key to un derstanding the s e di s crepancies Some be li eve the core is an iron cryst a l mo re than 1,4 00 mil es i n d i ameter. Others envision a core of churning molten iron. The churning convection. Rather than the core convecting, Bergman suggested molten iron convects neat away m a ring of columns surrounding the core. The ring would run the length of the physical affinities had him enterEarth parallel to its axis Bergman taining notions of courses in fluid concluded this would result in crysmechanics, geophysics and compartal columns or dendrites spanning at i ve planetology. He expressed the length of "J, all d interest in the planet. m re y lffi p resse seismology, "What I've th h meteorology suggested, he because even oug and the fluid said, "is that mechanics crystals in the the resources [here] of oceanoginner core of raphy, the Earth are aren't all that great, hnoadtindgonhee not growing spherically out -there's real interest on ward but because of the th f h u1 non sci ence pattern o f beat e part 0 t e ac ty spe cia lists. flow t hey're [ d h] O ne course growing cylin-t O 0 researC I bad a lot dricall y of fun would attenuate and slow waves traveling across them, but not those moving along their length. Beyond the standard fare of physics courses, Bergman's geocalled "The and it was kind of an earth science course .. .! think that might be kind of a popular course here because of people in bio and chemistry--marine kind of stuff." Bergman is Professor of Physics at Simon's Rock College, a small liberal arts college located in Boston. New College students re minded him of Simon's Rock College, both in terms of curiosity of students and class size A college of 350, most Simon's Rock students enter before they finish high school in search of accelerated courses Many transfer to a larger college after their sophomore year--a school tradition. "It makes for kind of an i n teres t i n g p lace," h e sai d but here's the ca t ch: 1 have n o qualms with the students, but there are only 350. Now this place is small, but that's even smaller." cluses if offered one two new physics positions at New College. Optics and a second semester of classical mechanics listed @EE "PHYSICS, ON PAGEs I Marilyn Manson: complete with controversy and effects Despite protesters and mediocre opening bands, Manson gives a good performance by David Saunders A diverse crowd of people clad in the most shocking clothes they owned, descended upon the Ice Palace in downtown Tampa on Saturday March 27. Whether accessorizing with silver chains or excessive make-up and leather-bound bibles and crosses, freaks from all over South Florida came to see and be seen. There were those who had been elaborately laced, buckled and taped into their nicest fetish gear and those dresses in their freshly pressed and starched plaid suits; both cases seemingly to discomfort the other contingency. The occasion? Marilyn Manson's concert. Undoubtably one of the most controversial groups in rock today, Marilyn Manson's presence was not a welcome one to many local religious groups. Many God-fearing people felt that it was their responsibility to approach the concert-goers and inform them of how they have been led astray. In fact, this journalist was accosted by an elderly couple, who felt the need to shout at him that, "if be bad been raised by a decent family, he would not dress in such a vile manner, nor would he praise such a blasphemous individual." The atmosphere outside the arena seemed to be stim ulating for all. The opening act on that evening was Monster Magnet. To the average Monster Magnet fan, it wa apparently an exciting show. However, to anyone who was not a fan, it was quite boring, seeming at times to be more like a self help sem inar than a concert. The only event that could be considered a highlight was when they announced their last song, "Space Lord, Mother-F*cker," and two female dancers stepped up to each side of the stage. During the song, both ladies, pulled their shirts down to present their breasts under neath ill-fitting pasties. It might have been enjoyable, had either women been able to dance. As it was, they bad the combined physical grace and charisma of Don Knotts. Finally, Monster Magnet and their entourage left. After a short break for the crew to set up the equipment, the arena went dark. Strange noises and samples started to play. The curtains opened, revealing Marilyn Manson crucified on a rising cross made of television monitors. The Marylin Manson: Superhero or tool of the devil? rising sound and incredible visuals of the back drop, the cross and the band members all made a very compelling introduction. They then launched into a great performance, starting with "The Reflecting God." They played an excellent mix of old and new, pleasing all fans, old and new. All throughout the show, excellent effects added to the great musical performance. Many pyrotechnic stunts accented the show, as well as fake snow, and explosions of glitter. At one point, a woman dressed as a Nazi-esque police officer came on-stage and shot Marilyn, who was ON PAGB4 ,; I


2 The Catalyst April 1 1999 George Bush Jr. resigns, discounts possibility of Presidential run Now I fear that generations of American youth are being led astray by my unfortunate mistake. I no longer deserve the respect or the trust of the American people for that reason alone." George Bush Jr., the popular governor of Texas and the seemingly anointed front runner for the Republican presidential nomination, re signed three days ago, vowing never again to hold national office. Bush made a statement, "I have done some things I am not proud of. I cannot help but feel a deep moral inadequacy, and therefore I do not hold myself fit for national office. My past may soon become a matter of public record, and I can only hope the American people will judge me with that moral leniency for which they are so renowned." Although the exact nature of Bush's involvement with the Teletubbies TV show remains unclear, the admission was enough to bring his for merly impressive approval rating to nine percent. Senate majority leader Trent Lott said, "At least Bush made to right decision, bowing out honorably. Perhaps now we can fmally get on with the peoples' business, which now consists mostly of planning Gore's inauguration." Is the TinkyWinky candal the kiss of death for the GOP? Only time will tell. Pundit all over the country were stunned, and Bush's announcement is giving rise to intense speculation about the former governor's past in discretions. Two days ago, Bush announced that be would make a full confession to a select group of political and spiritual leaders, saying that he wanted to, "spare a candal weary nation any further description of politician's shameless disregard for basic standards of decency." Milosevic accedes to NATO demands under the threat of torture One of Bush's top advisers went public yesterday, revealing that the former governor resigned because of past sexual indiscretions on the part of Bush and his wife. Bush held a press conference in which he confirmed that he and his wife had sex before marriage, but maintained that there was another reason for his resignation. Bush said, "Although it may surprise some of you the I was once a sex-crazed hooligan and my wife was once a tramp, this past indiscretion on our parts is not my guilty secret. The truth is far worse than any of you could imagine. The NATO air campaign against Serbia came to a halt today as the United States special envoy Richard Holbrooke threatened Milosevic with capture, trial, and eventual punishment. Holbrooke maintains that, in a fit of temper, he shouted, "Listen Slobidan, if you don't sign this accord, I am going to have you captured, tried, and then taped to a chair and forced to listen to Celine Dion singing the theme song from Titanic for the rest of your natural days." In my younger days, when I was young and irresponsible, I commit ted a horrible crime that will effect generations to come. I conceived of characters called the Teletubbies, including that infernal TinkyWinky. Although Milosevic signed the treaty, the Serbian dictator has filed charges with the world court, maintaining that the threat violated United Nations conventions prohibiting torture. The court bas not yet reached a verdict. Information compiled from the New Guinea Post, the Daily Planet, and the New York Times. Foundation surplus realizes Pei's vision Proposal includes new dorm rooms, better food service by Marlo Rodriguez Everyone immediately submitted a prospectus dope with the f\lnds; in the oun a wn ma e a st mg Iscovery: t e bu end, t oug we ad to go with t e proposal sub-get exceeded specified amounts so greatly that mitted by the Foundation." New College would be able to complete building The proposal would realize I.M. Pei's original specifications designated in the early 1960s. In vision for the Pei dormitories. The walkway beshort, New College and USF have agreed to fultween Hamilton Center and Palm Court was fill the original architectural vision outlined by originally designed to extend into the Bay behind I.M. Pei -in the Pei Skyhook Project. College Hall. The exterior walls of the dorms, "Our normal projections for funds is $6.8 milwhich were to constitute an artificial 'island,' lion. That goes toward scholarships and grants were to be finished with marble, like College for the students we feel are most promising," Hall. said General Roland Heiser, director of the In the 1960s, time and financial constraints Foundation. "But this year the combined influforced the project to be completed east of U.S. ences of the Foundation and the profits reaped 41, with bricks and cement, but that inconvenient from the Action Auction resulted in a $42.6 millegacy shall soon be swept away: the completion lion surplus." effort has been dubbed the "Pei Skyhook "I'm astounded, .. said USF president Betty Project," or PSP. Castor. "We are always appreciative of the Provost Tighe expressed his support of the Foundation's efforts, as we are eager to see New project. "This is excellent," he said. "I have alCollege succeed. However, this year they have ways preferred New College to USF and outdone themselves, quite unexpectedly. esteemed its educational standards above our own. But before this project, one could not see enough glam or glitz to consider New CoJJege as anything other than an anomaly. One dissenting opinion about the project is that of Marriott, Inc. Student Food Service repre sentatives Rob Meyers and Elizabeth Elia were unable to negotiate an agreement with company officials calling for island-delivery of meals. Marriott has threatened to withdraw its service in the event that the PSP goes through. In re sponse, several offers have been made by restaurant chains to replace Marriott, most no tably Long John Silver's and Arthur Treachers. "They're interested in catering the school as part of a long-term promotional effort," said Meyers. "Something like 'School on the High Seas' or 'Fish Helps You Think.' Dairy Queen suggested: 'Dairy Queen's Seas Won't Treat You Wrong,' but that seemed very uncoordinated and last-minute to me. I don't know." Marriott Manager Jerry Dixon declined com"SKYHOOK" ON PAGE 5 ] Ciitaclysm The Cataclysm is available on the World Wide Web at http:/ / General Editor "tomato freak"EkJe Managing Editor Trina "Sparky" Hofreiter Staff Writers Max "You Betcha" Campell, Charles "Charley" Choi, Evan "I'm almost outa here .. Greenlee, Aaron "Olaf" Gustafson, Julian "Ha Ha" Frazier, Shanon "Giggles" Ingles, Nick ''Tricky Nick" Napolitano, David "Smiley" Saunders, "Mysterious"Mario Rodriguez, Ben "Jack" Ruby Contributors The Spooky Cat, Mr. T, Spuderrnan The Cataclysm is a joke that fools people every year becua e we are so clever. It is devel oped in the New College Publications Office using Adobe Photoshop and Quark X press for PowerMacintosh and printed at the Bradenton Herald with money provided by the New College Student Alliance. If it is not obvious, everything on pages 1,2, 7, and 8 is fake and should not be taken se riously. All quotes, facts, and absurdisms are completely fictional and should not be taken se riously. If you are not amused, feel free to write us a letter. Direct submissions and angry letters to: The Catalyst 5700 N. Tamiami Tr. Box #75 Sarasota, FL 34243 We encourage all contributions and submissions. We have no intention of publishing any letter or contribution no matter how "meaningful" it may be. But, we will use the opportunity to laugh at you at our meetings. Everything on pages 3, 4, 5, and 6 is real and not made up in the tradition of the Catalyst.


Features Brain Bowl: FMLA vs. New College Gaming Association -page 10 Volume VIII, Issue 7 Hanson, Selby scheduled for demolition by Charles Choi The Hanson and Selby Buildings that have served the Natural Sciences division at New College since 1972 were originally intended as temporary facilities. When construction finally began on the $6.8-million R. V. Heiser Natural Sciences Complex on May 19, 1998, the need for the Hanson and Selby Buildings was ca11ed into question, especially since a new Marine Sciences Building will a1so b e built o n th e b ayfron t near th e Bonseigne u r h ouse. Demolition of Hanson and -in a move designed both to save money and ''to encourage synergy on campus," Warden Michael Bassis has assigned the demolition contract to the New College Weapon Sparring Club, a student association originally founded in 1995.Second-yearWeapon Sparring Club participant Austin Eliazar was quite happy with the announcement. "We get to use real weapons this time!" he said. Thesis student Daniel Gentry looked forward to using his spiked mace in particular. Several proposals were initially brought to Warden Bassis's atten tion last semester. Students groups other than the Weapon Sparring Club also offered proposals for the demolition contract. The SAC pro posed that sledgehammers be purchased so that students could check them out from the Equipment Room and work out their aggression on Hanson and Selby in their spare time, but tWs proposal was shelved due to lack of SAC funds this year. fjrst-year Catalyst reporter David Saunders also offered a de molition plan where Hanson and Selby would be "swallowed up in fire and darkness," but his petition for materials drew up objections from animal rights groups on "SBLBY" ON PAGE 7 marezeedotes and doezeedotes ... News New Coilege may soon have its own ROTC program -pageS April 1, 1999 Warden proposes new plan for synergy Proposal uses science to bring the UP and New College together by Charles Cboi Warden Bassis unveiled his plan for New College-USF student hy brids at the faculty meeting held Wednesday, March 24. The pro posal, which he described as "the ultimate expression of synergy be tween the two campuses," would involve fusion of volunteers into composite organisms that could at tend both academic programs. The proposed endeavor was di vided up into two major parts. First, social functions would be held that students from both campu es would be invited to. Compatibility between par ticip a nt s for th e joi nt pro gram would t h en be detennined from the results of surveys handed out at functions included barbeques and ice cream socials. From these surveys volunteers could be selected. Acting Social Sciences Division Chair Charlene Callahan thought that members from these two acade-mic programs were unlikely to in teract socially. "The only way I can see them getting along," scoffed Callahan, "is if you get them drunk.'' "Exactly," noted Bassis. "While intoxicants nonnally pose distinct legal and social problems on college campuses ... there's no reason to not make the most out of a problem al ready there. 11 Bassis suggested that this partic ular feature of the first part of his proposal could not only help to es tablish synergy but might also i ncrease recruitment to New College in th e lo n g run Thi s p ar t ic ular item was unanimously rejected on grounds of "tastelessness," acwith the new facilities available in the upcoming Roland V. Heiser Natural Sciences Complex, the vol unteers could then be combined. When asked about the mysteri ous process by which this "student fusion" was to be accomplished, Bassis mentic>ned David Cronenberg's 1986 remake of the The Fly. Bassis said, "This technol ogy could carry out on a literal level what formerly could only be carried out on a symbolic leveL" Several members of the faculty noted that Bassis's above remark completely belied Bassis s previous s t a t e m e nt s a gainst t he comb i n ation of the two academic programs. Professor of Physics George 0 meeting. Once the information from the first part of the proposal was tabu lated, the radical work involved in the second part of Bassis' proposal could begin. Bassis suggested that ISEE uSYNERGY3 ON PAGE 10 Building spree lands professor in hot water Construction frustrations force Demski to take matters into his own hands by Aaron Gustafson While on patrol along the bayfront Ia t Wednesday morning, Officers Hugh Roarty and Wes Walker found Natural Sciences Chair Leo Demski curled up on the ground, asleep, next to a pile of lumber, tools, an assortment of fish tanks and what appeared to be a shoddily-constructed hut. The offi cers were confused as to what Demski may have been doing down by the bay that night, but after tak ing him in for questioning, it all began to make sense. "He seemed pretty groggy and disoriented when we woke him," said Walker. "He was covered in dirt and sawdust and just kept muttering: 'I have to do it. No one else will do it.' We took him over to Hamilton Center to find out what happened down there on Tuesday night." It seems that while working late on Tuesday, Demski became more and more obsessed with the new Marine Sciences building and grew quite upset the more he thought about the number of delays its plan ning has undergone. "He got so frustrated that he somehow got the idea that he had to build the building himself," said Roarty. According to tbe police report, Demski left his own lab in Hanson at around 11:30 p.m. and began searching the surrounding labs for scraps of wood and tools which he then began to drag down to the bay. Bookcases and a good many lab desks were disassembled in Demski's pursuit of building sup plies. After hammering together a small shed about 500 feet north of College Hall right along the sea wall, Demski returned to Hanson to collect all manner of aquariums to fill the shack. Demski estimates that he became over-exhausted and passed out around 3:00 a.m. while in the middle of stocking the building with tanks. "Picking up all of those tanks was ... exhausting .. especially without Joel [Beaver, bis assistant] around to help me," said an ex hausted Demski in an interview conducted late Wednesday morning. "I wished I had bad more coffee to drink so I could have finished it up. I think the students would have enjoyed it.'' The total damages have been estimated as being somewhere in the neighborhood of $9000. No charges have been filed against Demski, but with several book shelves and lab desks from the labs of Professors Alfred Beulig and Sandra Gilchrist in need of replav ing, it is almost certain that Demski wiU be getting a severe reprimand from his colleagues Most of the tanks appear unbro ken and have been returned to "BUIWJNG1 ON PAGE 9


4 The Catalyst The Crisis in Kosovo NATO began the launching of strategic air attacks on Yugoslavian military sites on Kosovo last Thursday, March 25 President Clinton announced during a televised speech that the goal of the attack is to halt or deeply damage Milosevic's ability to at tack Kosovar Albanian guerilla s and civilians The attacks started after Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic announced his final decision to reject a Western peace plan for Kosovo on national television Wednesday. Throughout the evening missiles fell on military targets in Serbia and Montenegro, the two republics that make up Serb controUed Yugoslavia. Kosovo government s ecurity forces continue to press their offen s ive against an ethnic Albanian rebel group, the Kosovo Liberation Army. Shortly after 8 :00pm ( 2:00EST), the fir s t wave of missiles bit a radar station in Rakova, a military airfield i n the village of B a taujnica where tanks, artillery and anti aircraft equipment are stored At that time an official Tanjug news agency declared a state of war. Radovsav Djakovic, a city resident, told The Washington Post th a t the West seems to have no idea how deeply attached people in Kosovo are to their borne. It is a province that most Serbs regard as the cradle of civilization. Milosevic said that his government would "defend our country with al1 means, and to the same degree it is attacked." U.S President Bill Clinton gave a fifteen minute televised speech Wednesday night in order to discuss the purpose and goals of the attack. He told White House reporters and camera crews that, "Our mission is clear: To demonstrate the seriousness of stand the imperative of reversing course, to deter an even bloodier offensive against innocent civilians in Kasovo and, if nece ssary to se ri o usly damag e the Serbian military s capacity to harm the people of Kosovo." He went on to say, "if president Milosevic will not make peace, we will limit his ability to make war." Clinton also reminded the American people that Slobodan Milosevic is the same leader who started the wars in Bosnia and Croatia and "moved against Slovenia [and] stripped Kosovo of the constitu tional autonomy it's people enjoyed." "Kosovo is a small place," he said, "but it sits on a major fault line between Europe, Asia, and the Middle East, at the meeting place of Islam and both the Western and Orthodox branches of catalyst News Christianity." Clinton predicted that inaction now could lead to, "a war we would be forced to con front later, only at far greater risk and greater cost. Clinton declined to answer questions from the press and did not comment on how long the ai r strike s might continue Nick Dowling, former director for European af fairs for Clinton s Security Council told the Washington Post that "The admi nistration is wise to keep its military and political options open because events in Yugoslavia could leave its military and political options open becaus e event s in Yugoslavia could take unexpected turns." Sheinbein Murder Trial Israeli's highest court has refused to e x t r adite an American citizen suspected of a murder which occurred in Maryla nd last week. Eighteen year old Samuel Sbeinbein fled to Israel three days after the murder of Alfredo E nrique Tello Jr. The body was found dismembered and burned in the garage of a vacant house near Sheinbein s home in Montgomery County Maryland on September 19. Police in v estigating the murder have not, as of yet determined a motive for the murder Aaron Needle, who i s also suspected for the murder, committed suicide at a Maryland prison one day before histrial was set to begin. Although Sbeinbein is not an Israeli citizen, his father holds an Israeli passport and Sbeinbein is thus protected under an Israeli extradition law which was established in 1987. Sheinbein is accused of first-degree murder. His trial will be held in Israel and is expected to last ney for the ca e said that the defense will focus on Sheinbein's mental condition, and that the defe nse wilt admit to all t he f acts of the cas e. Thi s means that the case may not take as long as was originally expected, and it may not be necessary to caB all of the twenty-five witnesses listed by the prosecution, most of whom would have bad to be flown in from the United States. Libai claims that be is opposed to the Israeli extradition law and is representing Sbeinbein in order to draw attention to its faults. He states, "Although I am the counsel for the defense, I don't want anyone to think that here in Israel there is a shelter, and that he will escape trial." Information taken from the Washington Post and the Frederick Post. Apri l 1, 1999 Manson: a real winner of a guy !".MANSON" FROM PAGE 3 I then carried offstage by crew-mem bers Manson cycled through an impressive sev e n outfits during the sho w seeming to take no time at all to get into and out of his clothing. Towards the end of the show, Manson toJd the audience of a dream he had the previous night. In it there was a landscape made of various types of drugs. As the band started playing I Don't Like The Drugs (But The Drugs Like Me)," a huge lighted sign saying "DRUGS" raised above the stage. This was greeted by hysterical laughter and applause from the audience. The band finished with a performance of ''The Beautiful People and with all the bad attitude and set-destroying style that you would expect from the group. They de parted, leaving the audience wanting more, but knowing they wouldn't get it unless a new set of drums, a new guitar, and a new bass guitar were quickly provided. In Issue 6, Ric hard L yttle attributed as the source of quotes final two P.arag_t"apbs in the article "PhySical Plant picks up the pieces, puts :them back together." It was actually Oick Olney w\o was The article1 "H pe grows for Marine Science {;tated that t}le new building would be built directly west of aonseigneur 'HQuSe. It will actyally be bujlt to tb.e Qf Bonseigneur. (if we make a boo-boo, tell us) The Catalyst is availabJe on the WorJd Wide Web at http://www.sar.usfedu!-catalyst/ General Editor Cyndy Ekle Managing Editor Trina Hofreiter Staff Writers Max Campell, Charles Choi, Aaron Gustafson, Julian Frazier, Shanon Ingles The Catalyst is an academic tutorial spon sored by Professor Maria Vesperi. It is developed in the New College Publjcations Office using Adobe Photoshop and Quark Xpress for PowerMacintosh and printed at the Bradenton Herald with money provided by the New College Student Alliance. Contributions may range in length from 250 to 500 words. Letters to the Editor should be no more than 250 words. Submissions should be labeled as either letters to the Editor or contributions and include names and contact information. Submissions in "rtf' or "WriteNow" format may be saved to the Catalyst Contributions folder in the Temp Directory on the Publications Office file server, printed submissions may be placed in campus box 75, and all other contributions may be e-mailed to catalyst@virtu. No anonymous submissions wiii be accepted. David Saunders, Mario Rodriguez, Ben Ruby Layout Nick Napolitano Online Developer Evan Greenlee Contributors Irene Hillman, Andrea Saunders Direct submissions and inquiries to: The Catalyst 5700 N. Tamiami Tr. Box #75 Sarasota, FL 34243 catalyst@virtu. sar. u.sfedu The Catalyst reserves the right to edit submissions for space, grammar or style. All submissions must be received by 5:00 p.m. Friday (April 2) in order to appear in the following week's issue.


s The ca!atyst Opinion Contnbubon: Math Clinic needs volunteers April 1 1999 Contributed by Andrea Saunders What bette r w ay s pend your S un day aftemoon th d th? B 1 an omg rna e t eve 1t o r not this is a question some New College students including my s elf have answ d b d' ere wlt an astoun mg affirmative. How is this poss'bl ? "'' 1 1 e vo unteermg at the free Community Math Chruc. What is this Math Clinic ? Well every Sunday after a of N e w Coll ege students will go to Selby Pubhc Ltbrary and help people with their questions Sunday March 21 was the first session of the chruc. This service i s free and open to anyone. Six New student s Dr. E irini Poimenidou primary orgaruzer oflhe chruc att e nded this pilot session As we drove to this pilot sessi on, many of us joked about how we were going to keep ourse l ves busy for two Yet arriving there were attendees already wath_ng for We estimate working with ap proXImately 20 mdtv.tduals that day, ranging from school age to senior citizen. We all agreed tbmgs went very well for the first meeting and we have enormous hope for the future. The on1y major concern was the need for more tutors.more tutors. We are seeking interested individuals to help us with this task. You do not need to be a math major to help ; many of the questions I worked on Jast week decimals and pe r cents All that's need a basic understanding of grade school math and, most the desire to help others. We hope tore crutt help from local high schoolers and perhaps older members of the community with some math back ground in the future. The fr e e Community Math Clinic i s held every Sunday 2 p.m. to 4 p.m at Selby Public Library. I f you are mtere s ted in helping, please contact either me at asaundel @vinu or leave a note in box #46 or con t act Poimenidou at poimenid @ virtu or 359 4379. Check out the Math Clinic website at http:/ / sar.usfedu / -poim e nid / MathC/inic.html. Any time you can spare be greatly appreciated and believe me when I 11 s _a _worthy cau s e. Plea s e keep in mind that no one IS rece1vmg compensation in the way of or credit for their time at the clinic. We think tt I.s m !he best interest of all involved that all efforts be stnctly on a volunteer basis. Also feel free to come on down and use the Math Clinic s services yourself, should you have any pressing mathematical concerns of your own We hope to see you there Physics professor candidate comes to NC !sEE npHYSlCS" ON PAGE 5 recommendations for an undergrad uate physics education He also anticipated the opportunity to work with a faculty be perceived as dy nannc. Even though there's a senior thesis requirement [at Simon's Rock], there s not really the tradi tion that the faculty do a lot of research, said Bergman, "and I can't understand why [there isn't]. Here I'm really impressed because even though the resources aren't all that great, there's real interest on the part of the faculty (to do re search]." Letter to the Editor: Diversity matters According to Physics Professor George Ruppeiner, "the wheels are in motion to make the first candi ?ate, John Spector, an offer mcluding the maximum amount of fu n ding for research (Re: Too much emphasis on diver sity, Issue 6) Nikki Kostyun brought forth the questions, "who car e s about diver sity?" and "wh d o s it matte ?" l hope she is in the minority at New College for holding such opinions. Personally, I feel that diversity mat ters tremendously. If one were to think beyond just his or her experi ence, one would realize that academic opportunities are available more often to whites than any other people in America Diversity is a step towards equality and the sin cere sharing of unique experience. Perhaps it is fine for Kostyun to re main uninspired by other nationalities and cultures than her own and the few she may have en countered, but I purposefully seek out new ideas and perspectives. This is how I learn to grow and wonder at all this life has to offer. The white American experience has its limits and if we do not actively seek to expand our lifestyles through diverse cultures, we cease to progress. If not for your own develop ment, think of bow it affects our school. Being a Novo Collegian means something. It means having the coraje (that's Spanish) to see through the lies we have been handed and think for ourselves. Let's think of American history as experienced by our minorities. Native Americans were robbed raped, and pillaged. Then they were accused of doing the sa m e thin g t o wh ites. Lies. Blacks were stol en from their native shores brought to slave 't a e w ite industries. Then released from their positions and forced to slave some more through lower class jobs. THESE EXPERIENCES HAVE NOT CHANGED. New College should not have a total disregard to a person's ethnic background. Ethnic backgrounds are to be celebrated and exalted, not dismissed because it has the smoke screen of being politically correct. And certainly we should support the call for diversity on our nation's campuses because, if we did not, it would remain that the white race would have the upper band. We have an opportunity to offer cultures the chance to shine, cultures that America has attempted to bury for hundreds of years, or cultures which are new to us where we don't want to make the same horrid mistake twice. Do you honestly think that the average minority student has an equal opportunity to go to a good school as a white student? These are the facts: White people tend to have more money and more connec tions than minorities. Reinforcing this social structure is an evil idea. We have the power to change that. FinaiJy, I want to reply to Kostyun's quickie about qow history doesn't matter because it does not affect her n o w Hi s tory i s th e back drop from which we all emerge. A friend of mine was in Germany last semester and, in a Contribution d nken conversation mentioned World Warn. He thought wasn't such a big deal either, in his momentary stupor. The two OUS '!lllnn.rnr German mates he was with began editorials, or an opimon crying with guilt over the blood of that is intended to be millions of Jews, gypsies and homo shared with the student sexuals which was shed in the name body. Letters to the Editor of the "now" according to Hitler. should be no more than Keep in mind that these were 250 words, and are not a teenagers, years separated from the forum for free advertising. actual events. Maybe history would Contribution: A factual affect us all more if we compre-article written by someone hended how we fit into the picture not on staff. Contributions and how we can learn from it to should be informative and never commit the atrocities America to the interests of already has. New College students as a I urge my community to more whole. Contributions may forward and really meditate on the ran_ge in length from 250advantages that diversity would SOU words. bring to the campus. I truly hope Guest Column: A solicited that Kostyun reads this and under-opinion piece. Guest stands why diversity does matter. I columnists do not neces-bope she at least considers the fact sarily the views that her opinion was offensive to the of tlie catalyst, but rather upporters of diversity and opinions of which we feel right hurtful to the few of us tlie New College commu-minority members on campus. To nity should be made aware. imply that diversity is a matter of Guest columns may range triviality signals, at least to me, that in length from 250-500 the writer is only self-interested. words. Think BIG. All submissions should be Irene J. Hillman received by Friday1 April 2 m or9er to appear rn the next tssue. planning an event? want to let people know when your bac is? selling something? put your announcement i,n the catalyst. box 75 or caralyst@virtu No anonymous submis sions will be accepted.


6 The Catalyst Open hearing on the draft report of the Blueprint for the Future to be held on Friday April 2 at 1 p m. in Sudakoff Center. Come give the Blueprint Committe a earful. A Radical Education Forum will be held Wednesday, April14 from 3:30 5 p.m. at the Four Winds Cafe. Humanities Professors will be there to hear your ideas about course offerings, class structure and departmental goals. Here's your chance to affect decisions! If you can't make the forum but still want to be heard, attend the preliminary discussion session in the fish bowl on Tuesday, April 6 at 5:45 p.m. Your input will be included at the forum Apocalypse fficks: A millennia) film festival will be held April 1-3 in Sudakoff center. The schedule is as follows: Thursday, April 1: "The Last Wave" -8 p.m. Friday, April 2: "Twelve Monkeys 8 p.m. Saturday, April 3: ''Deep Impact" and "Armageddon"8 p.m. Look out, Shakespeare! Move over, Langston! There will be a poetry reading by New College's finest on Friday, April 2 at 8 p.m. in the Four Wmds Cafe as part of Women's Awareness Month. You can also pay a dollar and take part in the Kiss Off. The Queer Symposium will be held the week of Apri14 through 10. Logan Granger will host an opening for his the-. "' lobby of Sainer on Friday, April 2 from 6 -9 p.m. The exhibition will run tbrougb April 8. News Register for FUSION (Florida College Feminists Collide) in Ham Center during lunch and dinner, anytime between now and April9. Registration is free for New College students. For information about this amazing conference to be held April 17-18 in the College Hall Music room, see any FMLA member or go to the table in Ham Its about our POWER ... Rolland V. Heiser, President of the New College Foundation would like to thank students for their support of Action Auction '99. The Auction, whose theme this year was "The Enchanted Forest," raised over $201,000 for New College. There will be OraSure HIV testing held at Parkview on Friday, April 2 and Saturday, April 3. Easter Egg-stravanza ll: The Revenge is this Saturday by the volleyball court around 2 p.m. There will be a easter egg hunt, free food, and an appearance by the Easter Bunny. Interested in NC Rowing? Then come to the or ganization meeting being held on Thursday, April 1 at 9 p.m. in Ham Center or contact box 508. It's lots of fun. For the next week (until April 5, at latest), there may be problems with voicemail at Parkview due to contstuction messing up the phone lines. If you need to leave a message, either go in person to Parkview, or leave a message with Student Affairs, 359.4250. The Fetish BaJI is Saturday, April 3. Be sure to bide your pets and small fruits. April 1, 1999 sac minutes 3.10.99 In attendance: Danielle Babski, Robert Scopel, Alisdair Lee, Jen Shaw, Julia Skapik Absent: Molly Robinson, Jen Yang, first-year to be appointed All votes are unanimous unless otherwise noted and none include the vote of the SAC chair, Danielle Babski. Amanda Loos (Apocalypse Film Festival) re quested $60 for food and videos. Allocated: $25 Kelly Nichols (Darkroom) requested $200 for hardware and roast pig for installation piece. Response: Tabled. Sara Irwin (Gender Studies Collective) requested $220 for software for computer. Response: Tabled. Beth Faichney (Academic Forum) requested $200 for food and copies for humanities professors' forum. Response: Tabled. Chris Holleran (Queer Ball) requested $900 for decorations and supplies. Allocated: $530. Marc Poirier (New College CD) requested $1399 for copies of New College students' music on CD. Response: Tabled. Total requests: $2979 Total Allocations: $555 CAREER CENTER -Summer Job -Ramapo Anchorage Camp: a residential summer campserving children with emotional, behavioral, and learning problems. SUNY at New Paltz offers a 3-credit fieldwork course to students working at the summer camp. If interested check out the web site: US Geological Survey Water Resources Research Institute Internship Program: This program provides undergraduate and graduate students with career-enhancing field, laboratory, and research experience through partic ipation in USGS activities as interns. Fort Myers has a summer (or longer) position available for a student who is able to work at least 16 hours a week. Miami U.S. Geological Survey Office has a position avail able for a student seeking full-time summer employment. The intern should have extensive experience with the use of PC and specifically the use of spreadsheet software (Excel, Quattro ). The intern would learn the quality assurance/quality control techniques used to evaluate surface-water records. Must be able to travel to Palm Beach and Miami and willing to participate in fieldwork on an as needed basis. Students must have com pleted one year of college and be making satisfactory progress toward a degree. aosing date for applications is Apri115. For more information contact for Fort Myers: Eduardo Patino, Hyrologist, U.S. Geological Survey Water Resources Division, 3745 Broadway St., Live Oak Bldg., Ste 301, Fort Myers, FL 33901; Telephone: (941) 275-8448 or Fax: (941) 275-6820. For more information for Miami: Mitchell H. Murray, Chief, Hydrologic Records, 9100 NW, 36th St., Suite 107, Miami, FL 33178; Telephone: (305) 717-5800 or Fax: (305) 717-5801. Freeman Peace Internships: Internships are available for Communications, Local Group Organizing, International/Interfaith Program, and Youth Program. The Fellowship seeks to replace violence, war, racism, and economic injustice with nonviolence, peace, and justice. Interns receive room, medical insurance, and a $600/month stipend. Four weeks of vacation and paid holidays. For additional information: http:/ / MPLE Pre-Law Scholarship Program: This Scholarship Program is aimed at disadvantaged minorities to prepare for law school. Scholarships are available for sophomores, juniors and seniors and must agree to enter or be accepted to enter a Florida law school within two years after receiv ing a bachelor's degree or repay the full Scholarship amount plus interest. Deadline is April 30th, applications in Career Center. The University of Oklahoma Research Experience for Undergraduates (REV): The Human Technology Interaction Center has been funded by the National Science Foundation to provide an interdisci plinary REU on human-technology interactions. Research fields in this program include: cognitive psychology, social psychology, computer sci ence, industrial engineering, communications, library information studies and history of science. Dates of Internship: June 6-July 31, 1999. Hours will be spent on individual research, team research and collective activi ties. Compensation: $2000, lodging/food and travel allowance. Additional informati?n:. Application deadline: April 1, 1999. on mdJVIdual research, team research and collective activities. Compensation: $2000, lodging/food and travel allowance. For more information, stop by the Career Resource Center, PME 119.


7 The Catalyst News fiery death cheers campus An evenzng of spirits and debauchery leads to tragedy on the Interstate By David Saunders At 2 a.m. on Wednesday April 1 a Honda Civlc spu 'I I th d f J 75 n pen ous y over e me tan o -near the Mtcanopy exit south f G n b f) Th o amesvt e and urst mto ames. e dnver New College third J b -r d d -year e Lund was ea on 1mpact. An autopsy indicated the presence f I al h I h o arge amounts of co o m ts system. Later testimony provided by D 1 M t f Ri ( ary asters, propn-e or o cue sque a strip club near the site of th 'd ) h L d h d e aCCI ent confirmed t at un a Jmbtbed fourteen gin and tonics wh'l "t' tablishment. 1 e tppmg at that esback pocket and appeared to make an alteration to a list printed upon it. Clearly, public re sponses were varied but not all response was' nega tive. Indeed, the Goth community contented itself with a single statement: April 1, 1999 Lund, 21, a history major in his fifth semester at New College. Professor History Justus Doenecke described him as "inteUigent and ,;'hen he got around to it [but] prone to showing up hun gover m class. Lund was also the editor of three publt'cat'o h' "This is about death, which is good. The death was Jeb's, and that is also W!7esses say Lu'}d's car carried aloft N C 11 ..,.'he p 1 ns ID 1s time at o ege, 1. oop, The Bastard and Smaulk! ood, a most 30 feet mto the azr by "a sudden g of hot air" escaping from the car. They were really the same magazine with a d;"e t r d L d' lfri lll' ren name every un s gu end, third-year Elaine Rogers. When asked if she Alum Rocky Swift comforensic analysis reports state that mented, "Friendship with "mmute traces of sulphur" were found at the Jeb was like American in-scene. nussed htm, Rogers simply said, "He used to buy me things." It .was not so much Lund's academic or literary activities that made im pressiOns on fellow rather it was his personality that left the greatest mark. Descnbed by former Catalvst editor Matthew G Jeb' wn bl' :r neco, ID 0 pu Jcatton, as a universally scorned patriarch,'' student reaction to h1s has ranged from typical collegiate indifference to unabashed adulation. volveme?t in the Vietnam war. You got into it kind of accidentally, and th_en realized what. a you had on your hands. Then, every time you tned to sometbmg ngbt, to make things work. another problem would pop U_P. Fmally you walked away years later with people dead and a foul taste m your mouth," be said. _"It's like Ramadan and my birthday, all rolled into one ex clrumed s roommate, third-year Sidney Cox. "] SATted m conttact But I feel kind of bad for his family, I guess." y Younger students had a different perspective on Lund. ''That bast d my vodka and Midori," said first-year Courtney Nogar. cant pay me back. ... But I did hang out with him." _All New College, many are happily giving their assistance in !Tymg to repau the damage done by Lund. In progressive workshops there ts an eagerness to learn better and more efficient ways to forget h' 'o sees a d. tin' l tb tm. ne IS c spnng 10 e step of a great number of students. shadow still remains over this campus. Although Catholic exorCism ?tes were to Bob Johnson 104, it is already rumored that Lund s beer-drowned spmt has been smelt creeping into the danker comers of the Pei J?orms. some say that when the moon is right, the heady vapors of Milwaukee s Best are said to overcome the faithful and make them lose their tact, concern and--it is whispered--their souls. for comment, second-year Carly Earnshaw, head of the Femtnist Majonty, failed to suppress laughter, pulled a note pad from her Weapon Sparring club to destroy Hanson, Selby campus. The Aikido Oub was also briefly entertained as a candidate, but was ultimately rejected because, as fourth-year Quentin Holte put it, "They're just too peaceful. What are they going to do, 'blend' with the walls?" The Natural Sciences faculty suggested that an auc tion be held both to commemorate the demolition of Hanson and Selby and as a fund-raising measure. This auction, open to students, faculty, and alumni/ae, would offer the highest bidder the honor of pushing a button which would activate explosives that would in turn "level both the Hanson and Selby Buildings in one fell swoop," said Natural Sciences Chair Leo Demski, Sr. However, concerns were raised over the above pro posal from a number of different parties. The New College Environmental Group argued that emissions and effluent from the demolished chemistry Jabs at Selby could easily seep into the surrounding area and pollute the surficial aquifer, conjecture that was con firmed once the Florida Department of Environmental Protection was consulted. In response to this apprehension, thesis student Hugo Brown said, "Selby's been leaking mercury all over the place for years now, and no one's given a fuss about it before. Why should we start now?" Upon more detailed inspection, Henry Lavandera, I an attorney for the General Counsel at USF, invalidated the proposal on Jegal grounds, since the above offer suggested that students should synthesize the explosives themselves as the final project in Organic Chemistry. A plan from Richard Lyttle, the Campus Project Manager for Facilities Planning and Construction, was also considered, but Bassis was concerned over the Physical Plant's recent performance. "According to the Catalyst, there have been several accidental demoli tions ... the swing set, the barbecue pit... Tim Richardson's car ... there were fears that Physical Plant might accidentally destroy the Social Sciences Building or College Hall if they are commissioned to do the de molition. While Physical undoubtedly understands construction, there were concerns over their understanding of destruction," he said. Some students were unhappy with Bassis's selection of the Weapon Sparring Club. Fourth-year Jen Ballin stated, "Look: they're a couple of nuts who run around with padded sticks. And we're going to give them chainsaws in order to dismantle those buildings? Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me." Ballin denied allegations that her bitterness was due instead to Bassis's rejection of the Aikido Oub's proposal. "Aikido is the Way of Harmonious Energy. Anyone who disagrees with me should go grab my wrist." NCSA President Rachael Morris also objected to the Weapon Sparring Club's nomination. "I thought we had seen the last of men running around with big sticks when Dave Heifetz graduated. Will it never end?11 she sighed. Heifetz, co-founder of the Weapon Sparring Oub, passed his baccalaureate this January and, having left for the Pacific Northwest, was not available for comment. Bassis nevertheless expressed confidence in the Weapon Sparring Club's ability to destroy all that they see with implements. "It's a good thing they don't know where llive.11 Letter to The Editor: A reader's response to previous articles or Jef fers; or an opinion that is intended to be shared with the student body. Gratuitous cussing is acceptable. If you plan write libelous statements about people, please spell their names correctly. Editors are lazy and don't feel like fixing your mistakes. As for editorials, we just don't care if you disagree with us. Contribution: A factual article written by someone not on staff about something that no one on staff wants or cares to write about. Contributions should be informa tive and not contain spelling errors because a certain editor can not spell well, so why not do her favor? Guest Column: A solicited opin ion piece. Guest columns do not necessarily represent the views of the Catalyst although they proba bly wiU if the columns make fun of people we don't like or think are silly. All contributions should be ac companied with a bribe of some sort in order to appear in the next week's issue by Friday at S p.m. -.


9 -8 The Catalyst Announcements .. The New College Foundation would like to thank New College students for not doing things to scare those attending the Action Auction last Saturday. Officer Richard Roarty of the University Police urges all inter ested New College students to attend the first annual New College bake sale to be held this Saturday, April 3 at the Uptons crack house. Food, fun and entertainment will be provided. Come on out and show your support! The first annual New College Mud day will be held Saturday, April 24 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. behind Pei. Student organizers hope to turn the dirt hill into a giant mud slide, along with several other fun activi ties. Events include: 9:00 Chuck a mud pie at your favorite professor 10-? Mud wrestling (in teams or individually) 1:00 -Test your agility in the "Whack-a-first-year with a mud ball" tournament 3-5 p.m. Mariott Mud Sandwich fest! Tempt your taste buds with the finest cuisine Mariott has to offer, com lete with chea appearances throughout the day by N.A.C.E.D.'s "mud guppies". Don't miss out! FMLA will be hosting a sympo sium Aprilll-17 to discuss the death of Jeb Lund and the wonderful opportunities this news holds for the future of the New College. All interested or fiercely opinionated parties are encouraged to attend, es pecially those who hated Lund with an all-consuming passion. Due to the enormous crowds expected, please meet at the bayfront. A Town Meeting will be held Tuesday, April 6 so that students can complain and get nothing done while being bribed with free food. NCSA President Racbeal Morris en courages all students to attend because, hey, anything is better than Marriot. A second Town Meeting wil be held on Wednesday, April 8, to talk about the Monday Town Meeting. Monday, April 5, is National Tomato Appreciation Day. Attack of the Killer Tomatos will be show ing on the wall at 9 p.m. 11()J .. 1 .. ()(} 3.19 09:30 Student reported being attacked Burglary in the Cafeteria. by a unknown group while atSeveral bins of alfalfa sprouts tempting to hang a dead pig and two tubs of grease were re-from the ceiling of 3rd court stolen. Estimated value: lounge. No suspects. 246. 3.26 09:23 3.20 18:30 Grand theft. Police golf cart Blueprint Committe members stolen while parked in front of arrested for arson at Action College Hall. Recovered at Auction. Recovered: one Winn Dixie. Suspects repricharred draft of the Blueprint manded and sent along their for the Future. way. 3.22 23:35 3.28 05:27 Catalyst editor arrested for Student found on top of Ham throwing tomatos at cars on 41 Center with a large antenna. from the overpass. Taken to Student received a severe repriSarasota County Jail and given a mand and a free donut. neat-o outfit. 3.30 15:45 3.23 01:21 Dazed student found attempting Squirrel attack on admissions to climb the roof of the Westside tour group. Officer sent to the Student Center wearing a cape scene. Squirrel negated. and mask. Escorted to Shell and 3.24 15:21 bought a cup of coffee. On-campus noise complaint of 3.31 23:55 students singing Pearl Jam in Non-student found spray paintPalm Court. Students executed. ing the outside walls of Ham Center. Referred to your 3.24 22:39 mother's knee. USF has against New College. If in terested, we will find you. Meetings to be revealed via secret code. On Friday, April 10, there will be New College Weapons Sparing Club Coffee House at the Four Winds Cafe starting at 7 p.m. Yes, Steve, we are Betty. We finally admit it. So what? Damn Home Depot for destroying the heartwood of Mother Earth! They will pay ... ob yes, they will pay. Join the members of the New College Environmental Group for a protest on Friday, April 12. All stu dents interested in setting things on fire, large explosive devices or sav ing the earth are welcome to attend. (SAC funded!) A square dance and crawdad boil will be held Saturday, April 17 at the bayfront. Help us celebrate New College's deep southern stu dents, and 'y'all should stay for a of horseshoes afterwards (iffin' ya care to). sac minutes 3.24.99 Members in attendance: Danielle Babski, Alisdair Lee, Brak (proxy for Rob Scopel), Jen Shaw, Julia Skapik, your mom. All votes are unanimous and none include SAC chair, Danielle Babski. Caroline Arruda (New College Environmental Group) requested $500 for a grenade launcher to be used at the Home Depot protest. Allocated: $500 with a stipulation at pictures must be taken for pub lication in the next Catalyst. Hillary Hall (Bengal Tiger) requested $3500 for Tiger for Dort and a cage. Allocated: $3500. Leo Demski (Marine Science Building) requested $1000 for lum ber, aquariums, and other construc tion materials. Allocated: $2001. Amy Murphy (Four Winds Cafe) requested $10.000 for a large swimming pool, several hundred pounds of Sumatra blend coffee beans, and a lifeguard for the first annual "Swimming in the Beans" day. Allocated: The rest of the '----;' 0 The Career Center will be hold a like what they use Ghostbusters seminar for graduating students on to get rid of ghosts. No experi"Dealing with a Useless liberal ence is necessary. Must be able Arts Degree" on Friday, April 2 in to work through October. PME 219. Topics will include coping with failure and marketing WalMart is seeking interested col-yourself for employment opporlege students in dead-end majors tunities with Avon and Burger like Classics, History, and King. Literature and Art History Philosophy. Real Jobs are available majors are especially encourin maintenance, janitorial engiaged to attend. nee ring,. gardening, customer service, and sales. Applicants who Need a summer job? Like kids? meet the aforementioned requireWell, it doesn't really matter. ments should drop out of school Camp Wilderness is looking before they become unemployable. for a few idealistic college stuStop wasting time thinking about dents to look after "energetic" the cultural industry and kids who are off Ritalin for the hermeneutic circles and do some-summer and have parents who don't want to deal them. thing productive for once. Applicants should have no prior The University of Montana is criminal record and be able to offering a summer program in run fast. First Aid and CPR sheep grazing and farm tech-knowledge is a definite plus niques. Application deadline: with these kids. Apri116. For more information visit: Open to Dog-be-Gone of Cortez, all majors. Colorado is seeking employees for the humane removal of Are you a pyro? The National prairie dogs from fields via a Cremation Society is hiring. suction device that is kind of

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