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The Volume V, Issue 15 February 6, 1996 ulike, stop stealing stuff, people." Profile: Miriam Wallace by Graham Strouse Miriam Wallace, New College s newest Asst. Professor of British and American Literature, used to work for a company that sold bull semen to the Russians. Wallace, who earned a B.A. with Distinction in Literature from PennsylvaP nia's Swarthmore College in 1984, also helped supR ply French dog breeders with doggie-tampons loaded with canine sper micide and sex hormone suppressants de signed to discourage pure breeds from trysting with low bred mongrels. Same company. That was a few years back: 198586 to be exact. Wallace was young and in between degrees. Wallace officially gained Asst. Pro fessor status on January 23 after spending a semester in the literature department. She filled the gap that was created after Asst. Professor of Literature Maureen Harkin abruptly departed New College for the greener (read : better paying, more prestigious) grass of Stanford University las't year. Wallace, whose specialty is the 18th century novel, beat out fellow SEE "PROFILE" ON PAGE 4 INSIDE SAC Minutes ............ .2 Ivory Tower ............. .3 Foundation .............. .3 Letters to the Editor ...... .5 Culturescope Review . ... .5 IA.nnouncements ........... 6 NCSA NOMINATIONS NOW OPEN by Kate Fink Nominations opened February 5 for the spring NCSA election, which will be held next week. Four Student Affairs Council voting members, three Student Court justices, Student Prosecutor, and one position each on the Food Service and Student Life Committees are up for election New College Student Alliance President Jessica Falcone said she and Elections Supervisor Jessica Hickmont are considering having the election on both February 14 and 15, rather than just the tenth day of the term specified in the NCSA Constitution. "Meet the Candi dates," the traditional pre-election for-um in Hamilton Center, has not yet been scheduled. Students interested in running for any of the offices must submit a petition signed by 25 students to Hickmont before February 12. Student Court, Student Pro secutor, and most SAC positions have terms of one year; the fourth-year SAC position and committee positions have terms of one semester. Falcone said students may not be aware of how easy it is to run for an NCSA office. "Often we don't have any one on the ballot for certain positions, and write-in candidates take the job Too often we have to scrounge around looking for someone to take vacant positions," she said The SAC is best known for allo cating students' Activity and Service fees throughout each semester, including a day-long "marathon" allocations at the be ginning of each semester. The SAC also maintains records of A&53 spending and approves the NCSA's and Joint Alloca tions Committee's budgets. Student Court has traditionally re viewed cases involving New College stu dents that have been referred to it by the SEE "ELECTIONS" ON PAGE 3 VIVA LA COFFEEHOUSE! by Rachael Lininger A common question about the Coffeehouse is, "When will it open?" Nobody knows, but "they're hoping by Au gust. Me, I'm crossing my fingers and I'll believe it when I see it," explained Jon "Raven" Hall, who is designing the Cof feehouse home pages at http://www. sar. usf edu/ Capital Improvement Trust (CIT) funds come in late spring, when the cur rent legislative session finishes wrangling. No one knows how much money will be allocated when it does come. "The num bers I've heard going around are some where between S25,000 and $50,000," said Sanna Stubblebine, who worked with seven others on an Independent Study Project planning for the Coffeehouse. Hall, Stubblebine, Darilyn Avery, Jay Ritchie, Mike Cosper, Ian Riley, and Ryan Cutler are hoping that all their planning will make a good case for increasing the allocation. Dean and Warden Gordon "Mike" Michalson, who spon sored the ISP, and Dean and Executive Officer David Schenck are supporting their efforts. The New College Four Winds Coffeehouse, as it has been dubbed, will take over the bottom floor of the Barn. The top floor can't be used; it's been con demned because of terrnite damage. Sev eral walls will be knocked down, and the new main area will house a stage, tables, chairs and a bar; there will also be a quiet SEE "COFFEE" ON PAGE 2


2 The Catalyst February 6, 1996 ''COFFEE" FROM PAGE 1 ternet.ExacthoursforFourWindshave Minutes of the SAC room with bookshelves and a conference table Because the Barn is a public build ing, smoking won't be allowed, but tables and chairs will be set up outside for the "nicotine enhanced." They intend to serve gourmet coffee, hot chocolate, tea, fruit juice, soda, muffins, "anything that can be done with a bagel," soup, pickles, and whatever else strikes people's fancies. Pizza and most meats are out, however, because of safety rules. Fire codes prohibit anything that might risk a grease fire, and the refrigera tion available would be inadequate to handle much meat. The stage will be used for poetry readings, music, and other small-scale performances. Larger events however, will still need to use other locations, be cause fire codes limit the number of peo ple allowed in the Barn at one time. A used-book exchange will be kept in the quiet room to provide reading material, and Coffeehouse ISP participants hope that Campus Computing will supply an ethernet link to allow people onto the In-not been scheduled yet, but it will be open from late afternoon to late night. It's not yet clear whether it will be open dur ing Walls or Palm Court Parties. "We aim to be self-supporting," said Stubblebine, "though we'd like to be able to pay the people who work there." Several people have volunteered, though Coffeehouse workers will not be eligible for work-study; there are no work-study positions left on campus. The Student Affairs Council has purchased Qyickbooks, a small-business accounting program, for the Coffeehouse. Other student businesses will be able to use it through the Publications Office server. Coffeehouse planning will continue with a spring semester tutorial; anyone in terested is encouraged to come to an informational meeting at 7:00p.m. Tuesday at the Hamilton Center couches. Students may contact Darilyn Avery (Box 47), or e-mail ncoffieh@virtu.sar. usfedu for more information. January 15, 1996 Present: Jake Reimer, Keyoor Patel, Martha Alter, Evan Greenlee (proxy for Stephanie Weiss) Lauren Sanzaro: S115 for butterfly plants and medicinal herbs Rachael Lininger: $95 for DeltaGraph, a program for the Publications Office Sara Greenberg: $120 salary for recy cling program for coordinators (Sara Greenberg and Eli Stanford) through ISP DarilynAvery: Sl42 Coffeehouse pro ject: QuickBooks accounting software for Publications Office and Business Seminar Meike Niederhausen: SlOO for speaker on mathematics January 22, 1996 Present: Keyoor Patel, Martha Alter, Lisa Stampnitzky, Evan Greenlee (proxy for Stephanie Weiss) NCSA Town Meeting Thursday, Feb. 8 5:00 p.m. in Palm Court Sara Foley S57.64 for Thanksgiving din ner provided by her and Evan Greenlee last semester. Evan Greenlee abstained. Cara Bompignano S80 Super Bowl par ty hosted by the RAs for sub, chips and drink Blake Gnemi S80 for the Home Brew Club Amy Andre S32 for Race and Gender Symposium movies and snacks Sara Kuppin S500 for speaker Barbara Trent to appear during the Race and Gender Symposium. Sara will also look for alternative funding. ca:talyst General Editor Kate Fink Managing Editor James Reffell StaffWriters Dan Berke, Evan Greenlee, Graham Strouse, and Rocky Swift Layout Rachael Lininger Computer Guy Steve Wilder Contributor Matthew Grieco The Catalyst The Catalyst is available on the World Wide Web at http:/ /www.sar. usf edul-catalystl Direct submissions and inquiries to: 5700 N. Tamiami Tr. Box #75 Sarasota, FL 34243 or catalyst@virtu.sar.usedu Submissions may also be placed in the Catalyst box marked "Letters to the Editor/Contribu tions" (in the Student Gov'nt boxes next to Barbara Berggren's office). Letters to the Editor should be no more than 250 words. Contributions may range in length from 250 to 500 words. Submissions should be labeled as either a letter to the editor or a contribution and include name and contact information. No anonymous submissions will be accepted. Submissions should be received by 5:00p.m. Friday in order to appear in the following week's issue. Catalyst reserves the right to edit submissions for reasons of space or grammar. Sponsored by Maria Vesperi and Dean Michalson


The Catal st Februa BOOK ON NEW COLLEGE RELEASED From the New College Foundation New College Foundation has anhave earned a wide range of accolades in nounced the publication of New College: the sciences and humanities, business, and The First Three Decades by Furman C. the professions. Arthur. The 184-page illustrated book "The history of New College is in traces the history of this unique school many respects a history of the Sarasota, from its founding as a private college in Bradenton, and Venice communities from 1960 by a coalition of community and the 1960s because New College's progress church interests, through its acquisition has been intrinsically linked to many fine 15 years later by the State University Sysmen and women who have believed in tern of Florida, to its success today as one and supported New College," said Rol-of the nation's best liberal arts colleges. land V. Heiser, President of New College Lacking an endowment, New ColFoundation. "The ability of New College lege at the outset charged higher tuition, to endure during turbulent times is a diroom and board than Harvard. While the rect result of time, money and faith supcollege quickly earned a reputation for plied by local people and businesses I am academics that were both rigorous and inproud to say that this written history of novative, and its graduates readily estabNew College acknowledges the efforts of lished themselves in the leading graduate those visionary people. We shall forever and professional schools, New College al-be in their debt." most closed its doors on several occasions. Funding for the New College hisNew College: The First Three Decades tells tory book project came from Dallas W. the extraordinary story of the college's Dort, a New College Foundation Trustee, struggle to keep going in the face of escaand from other present and former memlating costs, a shrinking population of col bers of the Board of Trustees. lege-bound young people, and a national Furman C. Arthur, a former jourcrisis in higher education. nalist, was New College's first employee. Today, New College thrives. New He directed the college's public relations College Foundation, a not-for-profit or efforts for 25 years. The paperback book's ganization that provides direct and indidesigner, Janet Goldwater, is a consulting rect support to the school, manages an graphic designer and photographer who endowment in excess of S19 million graduated from New College in 1973. Charging standard public tuition, New New College: The First Three College is ranked as one of America's best Decades is available from the Campus educational buys. Some 3,000 graduates Bookshop for $12.95. 11ELECTIONS" FROM PAGE 1 Office of Student Mfairs or University Police. There were no such cases last se mester, as Student Affairs has taken over the disciplinary role. Students may still opt to have their cases heard by the Court instead, however. Similarly, the Student Prosecutor's traditional role in preparing cases repre senting the student body has become a position with few responsibilities. Until the Court has a case, the position of Stu dent Prosecutor remains idle. The Food Service Committee communicates between students, Marriott, and Student Affairs about food service concerns. The Student Life Committee works with Student Life Coordinator Sara Kuppin to organize student activities. In the past, the Student Life Committee has planned faculty/stu dent socials and worked on the future Coffeehouse located in the Barn. Also on the election ballot will be a referendum from the Constitutional Re form Committee, which was organized last semester to update and clarify the NCSA Constitution. Included in the ref erendum are, according to Falcone, "a re vamping of the SAC structure which will presumably make the SAC more produc tive and efficient, elections reform which will move election dates to November and April ... and the creation of a committee which will review the actions of the allo cations body [SAC] at the request of any student." 6, 1996 World OUTSIDE THE IVORY TOWER 3 The United Nations and U.S. Sec retary of State Warren Christopher issued an ultimatum to the Bosnian Serbs: peace accords will be jeopardized unless they can account for the tens of thousands of Muslims missing from the war. Talks are scheduled for next week. According to a U.N. report issued last week, abuse of the 1.5 million Asian women workers in foreign countries is on the rise. Many workers' rights groups want countries such as Sri Lanka, Singa pore, and Saudi Arabia to sign the inter national treaties governing migrant workers' rights. A cargo plane crashed in a neigh borhood park in Asuncion, Paraguay. At least 27 are reported dead, including the four crew members and' several children playing in the park at the time. The crash appears to have been caused by a combi nation of mechanical difficulties and hu man error. Former American generals and ad mirals are going to Cuba next week to speak with Cuban leader Fidel Castro about the nuclear power plant Russia plans to help Cuba build. Many are wor ried about another Chernobyl only a few miles from the United States. With more than one half of all foreign aid sent to sub-Saharan Mrica coming back to the west in interest pay ments on loans, Zambia's former presi dent asked the World Bank and loaning countries to forgive the debt. Such a plea is unlikely to be received by the World Bank. National Thirteen senators have announced they will retire this year. Among them are eight Democrats and five Republicans are Paul Simon (D-Il.), Sam Nunn (D-Ga.) and Claiborne Pell (D-RI). Army General Barry R. McCaffrey was selected by President Clinton to be come the next Drug Czar. McCaffrey has won many honors in the military and is thought to be able to bring new insight to the war on drugs.


4 The Catalyst February 6, 1996 "PROFILE" FROM PAGE 1 Swarthmorian Carolyn Lesjak for the va cant line. 430 professors originally ap plied. But back to the bull semen. Like many undergraduates, Wallace took some time off from school after get ting her B.A. It wasn't entirely by choice. She originally wanted to do her graduate studies in comparative literature. The only language she spoke besides English was French, however. To Yale, the University of California-Berkeley and Cornell, the ability to je parle francais by itself did not impress. From each school came the same response to her application: nyet, nyet, nyet. And Wallace hadn't applied any where else. So she returned home to the D.C. area in 1984 with the Classic B.A. Dilem ma. To wit: Bill Gates doesn't care how much you know about Tristam Shandy. "I worked for a temp agency for a while, hiring temps," said Wallace. The place was called Temps and Co., "a pretty sleazy operation," in Wallace's opinion. "I got in trouble for doing five minute inter views [with prospective temps] instead of t:\vo minute interviews." She lasted nine months and quit. After leaving Temps, Wallace got a job as an administrative assistant for the Argus Trading Company. Argus was an international exchange outfit that tried to capitalize on perestroika by exchanging American made goods to the Soviet Union for things like shovels. According to Wallace, "they [the Russians] wanted to sell Russian goods in America." Unfortunately, Argus soon dis covered that Russian shovel blades tend to fall off their handles. "That made me wonder if they were so incredibly ad vanced in military technology, if they couldn't build a decent shovel," she added. Nor could the Russians manage their cattle very well. "The biggest order when I was in was for bull semen," said Wallace. "They wanted to breed their cattle both for meat and for milk." As a result, they go through cattle fast. If you order a burger and shake at a Moscow Mickey D's, there's a decent chance both come from the same beast. Squeeze 'em and scarf'em. Also, added Wallace, "Every once in while, one of our clients would disap pear," she said. "We'd go and have oysters and the next year he'd vanish and we'd never hear from him again." Sometimes her company called a Russian foreign trading office in New York. "You could here the tapes running in the back ground." Fortunately, the KGB stayed away; and the Argus Trading Company had had the sense to diversify. They were the ones who sold the doggie tampons to the French showdog owners. Wallace stayed on as an adminstra tive assistant with the Argus Trading Company for a year-and-hal She didn't get too far in the company since she didn't know Russian. She spent a lot of time making xeroxes for the shovel traders. By 1986, Wallace was back in graduate school, at the University of Cali fornia-Santa Cruz studying literature. "The program was technically literature," said Wallace. Wallace fiddled with some linguistics ("I thought I wanted to do lin guistics," she said, "but I was lousy at it."). She ended up studying a rich mix of British, American, and French literature. Her Ph.D. dissertation was on Tristram Shandy and Virginia Woolfe's The Waves. She finished her Ph.D. in 1993. After that, she says, "I spent the last cou ple years writing, attending conferences, and trying to find a job." Then Harkin, who had arrived at New College just two years previously, jumped ship. The litera ture department put out a frantic call last summer for a temporary replacement to fill Harkin's line. Enter Wallace, one time hirer of temps and administrative assistant to sellers ofbull semen. Right now, Wallace is settled in to a Sarasota house at 47th and Leto with her husband Richard Silver. She's bright, talented, and marketable, a lot like Harkin. Yes, Wallace admits, New Col lege is a good "stepping stone" for ambi tious young academics. But New College is small, and faces aren't easily forgotten or easily replaced, "the kind of place that's good to have people stay a while," Wallace said. Wallace is 34 now, a good age, she thinks: "Twenties are good. Thirties are better. Part of it is that when people start saying your age with a 'tha' rather than a 'twa,' they start treating you like an adult. They can't treat you like a kid anymore." Still, Wallace is young enough that she played Dungeons &Dragons in col lege just before it reached the height of its popularity, young enough to be unused to the idea that she's old enough to be mar ried, young enough that if she wanted to, she could pack up and have a string of job opportunities stretched out before her. She's moved around a lot in the last few years, however, and has decided she'd like to settle down for a while. And Russia is in a state of political turmoil, anyway. It may very well go fas cist in the next couple years; the bull se men market's going to be awfully unstable. A smart investor wouldn't touch it. The Catalyst is looking for Reporters, Business Managers, and layout People If you're interested in joining the Catalyst Tutorial or just contributing occasionally, snow up to the introductory meeting Feb. 6 at 9 p.m. at the Hamilton Center couches.


The Catalyst February 6, 1996 s AN INFORMED MIND IN 712 PAGESNOT! by Matthew Grieco I don't want to poke fun at the Princeton Review. They gave my room mate a good job, and they help students overcome that silly, superficial test known as the SAT. But their newest product, Culturescope: The Princeton Review Guide to an Informed Mind, is terrifying. It's not that the problems with American educa tion discussed in the introduction aren't real. I call it terrifying because it is the worst possible solution to those problems: the easy, push-button-culture way out. The gist: Step right up for a crash course on acting like an informed Ameri can. It's not what you know, it's what oth ers think you know. All this can be yours in 712 pages and for S20.00 (S27.95 in Canada, not that Canada comes up in the book much) plus tax. That's just the cover. Let's look in-side. The book begins with the "Cul turescope Quiz," a 100-question test of the reader's "CO: (Cultural C2!Iotient). Actually, there is no "quotient" involved, since no division occurs anywhere in the score calculation process. The questions themselves range from obscenely easy to hopelessly irrelevant. The core reason that this book is terrible is that it genuinely wants to be helpful, but it provides the reader with the Cliff's Notes to American Culture, with a little friendly EuroProtestant-phallo centrism thrown in for good measure. No attempt is made to relate the material covered to real life or real education. For instance, we are told that T.S. Eliot wrote a poem called "The Love Song of]. Alfred Prufrock." We are given four lines from the first stanza. We then learn that Eliot wrote some nifty poems about cats, which later became a musical. Now we know who T.S. Eliot is, what he did, and we even have some nice lines about yellow fog which we can quote at parties. Time to tackle Ezra Pound, il miglior fohbro (In all fairness to Culturescope, I should note that there is a box mentioning Pound's fascist ties). The book is also insidiously, sub liminally political. I quote to you from the section "P.C. Nation": "The term 'p.c.' sprung up among the politically liberal to describe a cluster of positions and attitudes, including support for the broadest possible rights for minorities, and, most notoriously, sensitiv ity to language that potentially offends or belittles minority groups and women (er, womyn)." Right. Anyhow, I'm not suggesting that any self-respecting New College stu dent would pay money for this book. I myself would not have touched it, had not Random House sent The Catalyst a free copy to review (suckers). Yet the very ex istence of this book is a sad reflection of America's concept of education, a reflec tion of which even the genuinely educated should be aware. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Too many swans I notice, in a recent editorial con cerning the proliferation of propaganda around our campus, a reference to a mys terious creature labeled, after the manner of Carl Linnaeus, Sign us novocollegium. I was hard pressed, I must admit, to deduce exactly what woodland creature or birdie this bizarre classification might mean. Novocollegium, I assume, refers to the lo cal ecosystem where we little rabbits live, "eat" and copulate in merry insouciance. however, there is no word signus any where in the corpus of Latin literature, as far as I know. Two possibilities spring to mind. One is that the author might have been thinking of signum, a neuter noun of the second declension meaning "sign" or "marker." This can't be the case, however, because the oblique cases of signum nowhere allow for the ending us. So I gather the writer of this editorial must have had in mind the word cygnus, mean ing "swan." And I agree; there are too goddam many swans around this campus, saying all kinds of stuff they haven't thought about. Or looked up. -MattAmati Lessons in Plagiarism Hey, I couldn't help noticing that Rocky Swift plagiarized the latest Rolling St()ne for his crack about ugly naked peo ple in the 12/5 Catalyst. The key to successful plagiarism, you youngsters will learn, is not to rip off the same publication that half your ---audience will usually read. You really need to plagiarize pretty esoteric sources to get away with it. None the less, I'm a fan. -Peter Kaplan, Sarasota Hmmmm. We could have sworn that we read that crack about naked people plenty of other places before we saw it in Rolling Stone. Thanks for the start ripping of!Sev enteen instead -Ed Alumnus Speaks Out I found your home page. Wow! They didn't have stuff like this when Sparky Watts and I put things together with an IBM composer and a wax gun in the back room of Palmer A Building. I'm impressed. What manic craziness! What silliness! What dead serious groping in the night for truth stuffi Sear your feet on the sacred hot tiles of Palm Court for me, and go forth into the muggy night. A veteran of the New College pa per endeavors, a Peasant, and an alum. -Michael Armstrong, New College 74-'77


6 The Catalyst February 6, 1996 ANNOUNCEMENTS Upcoming Baccalaureate: "The Commodification Of Women In The Advertising Posters Of Alphonse Marie Mucha And Henri Toulouse-Lautrec" by Shannon Eileen Duskin. Art History Area of Concentration, under the sponsorship of Dr. Cris Hassold. Committee: Dr. Cris Hassold, Dr. Magdalena Carrasco, and Dr. Jocelyn VanTuyl. February 6, 1996 at 2:30p.m., Caples 107 Each year around November, New College students get this strange look in their eyes-you know crazed, "What am I going to do for ISP?" look. A lot of new students don't have a clear idea what makes an ISP an ISP. To help alleviate some of the confusion and hysteria, Tracie and Tim would like to start an "ISP Idea Library" where past ISP descriptions and ISP ideas can be kept. See Tracie about getting forms for ISP ideas at Student Mfairs, Pei 309 or Box 96. The "Ethics in Cartoons" tutorial will meet this Wednesday at 4:00 p.m. in Sudakoff to find a mutually convenient time to get to gether regularly. Dr. Langston is the sponsor. For further information, contact Peter Kezar at Box 353. Chemistry Seminar will meet at 3:00 in Selby 12 to discuss meeting times and finalize requirements. For more information, talk with Drs. Stephens or Scudder, co-sponsors. New College Student Alliance President Jessica Falcone made two new appointments after November's presidential election: Amy Andre to NCSA Vice President, and Charles Choi to the Space Committee. A New College Foundation scholarship could fund your thesis or other research. Or, it could fund your travel to a specialized library or an academic conference. To be eligible, you must be enrolled this semester and have completed at least one semester at New Col lege. Get proposal forms from any divisional office, Housing, Dean and Warden's Office, or Records. Proposals are due by 5:00p.m., March 22, 1996 at Cook Hall203. Awards will be announced on or about AprilS, 1996. The Race and Gender Symposium will take place the second and third week of February. The schedule is as follows: Monday 2/12 Palm Court Projection; 8 p.m Tuesday 2/13 professor panel; in the Teaching Auditorium; 7 p.m. Wednesday 2/14 Palm Court Projection; 8 p.m. Thursday 2/15 race and gender "fishbowl"; in the Fishbowl; 8 p.m. Friday 2/16 carpool to see "Waiting to Exhale"; time TBA Monday 2/19 I?alm Court Projection; 8 p.m. Tuesday 2/20 student papers presentation; in the Teaching Auditorium; 7 p.m. Wednesday 2/21 keynote address At the keynote address, Barbara Trent, Academy Award winning documentarian, will be presenting her film "The Panama Decep tion" at 8 p.m. in Sainer, with discussion, Q&A, and a reception to follow. All events are free and open to the public. Snacks will be provided at all events. Please attend! For more info, contact Amy Andre at 359-3173 or Box 37. Workshops Offered by the Career Center Feb. 7 7:00PM Career Related Summer ExperiencesFishbowl Feb. 8 4:00 PM Orientation to On-Campus Recruiting Parkview House Feb. 12 5:15PM Career Decision Making-Parkview House Some job and internship opportunities (see the Career Center for more): Alaska Wildland Adventures and Denali Backcountry Lodge is looking for seasonal staff such as guide/naturalists, hospitality personnel, and administrative staff Hospital For Joint Diseases Orthopaedic Institute An undergraduate summer fellowship program in Biomedical Engineering providing hands-on research experience in a real-world environment. Program dates: May 28-August 2, 1996. Application deadline: March 15, 1996. Working for Global Justice: Careers and Activism in International Development Visions in Action, The Overseas Development Network & The American University present the 2nd Annual Conference on the who, what, why and how of pursuing a career or activism in international development. Conference dates: March 1-3, 1996. Mississippi Teacher Corps A professional program for outstanding college graduates willing to take on the challenge of high school instruction for a two-year period or longer with a strong background in social studies, mathematics, natural sciences, English, Spanish or French. Application deadline: March 25, 1996.

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