Captain Jack

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" 26'73 lli3RA Y SERVATIV EARS Fl AL STAGE ... a voice from the past (Reprinted from The Catalyst, November 3, 1967) Discovery of an outstanding doGument shedsnewlight upon recent academic policy, accordmg to Dr. A.M. Miller. The following plan, entitled "Text for Takeover, 11 was deciphered from an ancient Gestetner mimeograph stencil unearthed ue neath the carpet of a former Dean of the Faculty. Nicot:ine-l4dating as well as the geological strata analysis esta.;lish that the stencil was typed not more than -four year's ago, accordingtoMiller. "Text 'or Take pver" issaidto ,.,e published by an organization entitled "Faithful Enforcers of Cred its Everywhere" (FECES), although Miller conredesthat "Faithful" could be interpreted as "Fa:ulty" due to the extreme deterioration of the text. 1'fextforTakeover" is reproduced below without comment, The reader should note that the document gives three justifications for each of the 17 phases of SUJversion. The first reason is the "Idealistic, designed to be acceptabletothose interested in under graduate education. The second reason, the "Practical, 11 isto oe offered to faculty primarily interested in efficiency. The third rea son, the "Ultimate," expressesthe goal of FECES, Dr. Miller notes that to date, FECES has spread only through Phase 11 or 12, SUBVERSIVE PLAN FOR ACADEMIC YEAR 1964-1965. l. Persuade faculty to vote that independent study projects .,e required, not voluntary. A. Idealistic: Students came to NC for independent study, so they will welcome being required to do it. B. Practical: We need records of what they've done, and Jesides, they aren' t do ing enough work. C. Ultimate: Get something noncomprehensive down in the record so we can be gin counting up something. 2. Encourage the College Examiner's Office (CEO) to draw up informal grades (pass fail! by reading each sheet of evaluation A. Idealistic: We need to study our fine :students' patterns of success in this free en vironm ent. DRIVE SA F Only a total effort can keep this year's Thanksgiving holiday from following in the bloody footsteps of last year's near record, the Florida Highway Patrol said today. ThePatrolmadethecall for an all-out effort by the motoring public as they predicted that 37 people would die in traffic aa:idcnts aero$ the state c:iu'ing thE 102 -hour holiday period. campaigns cannot be successful." Clifton said the Patrol will have all troopers and auxiliary personnel patrolling duringpeaktraffic hours. They will be using unmarked cars, radar, VASCAR, and aircraft to apprehend law breakers and will Oe receiving assistance from Conservation and Wildlife Officers. The holiday period begins at 6 p.m., Wednesday, November 26 and ends midnight, November 30. B. Practical: Advisorsneedtoknow more about what their advisees have done. C. Ultimate: An informal pass-fail is an indispcnsa ... lc fir:;t step toward the go'l.l of formal grades. SUBVERSIVE PLAN FOR ACADEMIC YEAR 1905-G(, 3. Hold formal 11academic reviews" for first-year students; df' :ermine who needs reviewsimply uy counting up each students num Jer of informal satisfactory evaluations (henceforth called "sats")/ A Idealistic: New students need guid ing in the unstructured world of New Colle::,e; besides, we must be fairtothe parents. B Practical: The kids aren't workin< hard enough; let1sscarethem oy prcdictixF; theyll fail the comprehensive exams. C. IDtimate: Formal enforcement:is needed to back up the informal 11grades" .)efore we can persuade the f acuity to 7ade the evaluations all .... y themselves. 4. Create a standard form for evaluations, ca!led the "Evaluation Form." A. Idealistic: Each student should have an equal opportunity to know--informally and not as part of permanent record--how he has ,een doing in college, B. Practical: Evaluations now come in on all sizes of paper and irre<,ular sizes of paper are hard to permanently file. C. Ultimate: A standard form is necessary efore we can standardize the categoriesoffaculty evaluation. This is ()ut a first step to #5. SUBVERSIVE PLAN FOR ACADEMIC YEAR 1966-6.7 Persuade the faculty to-head each form with easy little boxes; simply check "satisfactory," unsatisfactory, or "incomplete." A. Idealistic: Faculty comments axe vftencryptic, andthe student.should know easily and exactly what he is doing. (Continued on Page Two) Colonel Reid Clifton, Director of the Patrol, said, 11A total effort is the only way we can stop the deaths. A total effort by law enforcement, judges, safety organizations anddrivers can help prevent highway slaughter, but without driver support safety L
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2 3! i92BJE2229998222iii llilldiil!li!llli!iiJEci Editorial Dr. Miller1s aging document. first published in the Catalyst on November 3, 1967, ranks among the most accurate (not to say lapidary) of all the apocalyptic literature generated in New College's short but wordy history. As the years have passed, the author of the document has taken his place as New College's Nostradamus; each year new and more startling transformations of the college have confirmed his oft forgotten predictions. A$ of this printing, all of the subversive plan to take over the college has been executed with the exception of terminal phase No. 17. Let us ask ourselves, "What happened to the true com-munity college?" "Why did FECES fall?" The answers which appear simple, are actually quite complicated. Her.e they are: 1. There are no organizations of faculty, students, admin-istrators, oil interests, or Jewish Communists responsible for the subversion of the college. The Yale Law of institutional behavior states: "Never anthropomorphize. 11 The slow, but steady transformation of the college is not at all the product of a human, organized, rational or sneaky mind. (For some, this fact eliminates all out the faculty as o"jects for suspicion.) Hence, there is no reason for the hostility and distrust which abounds between student, faculty, and administrator. We are all here to have fun, mayo e learn a little, and, of course, eventually make money. In a situation where everyone blames everyone else, there can be only one humanistic conclusion: No one is to blame. Curse the institution, if you want, out love your fellow inmates. 2, This college is innovative and not conservative because it seeks to answer two novel questions: A) Can you get from an u n c on v e n t ion a 1 u n s t r u c t u r e d e x p e r i m en t a 1 c o II e g e t o a c on v e ntional, well-st;uctured college without really trying? And B) Can you keep the process going indefinitely? This last question is really what New College's educational policy (and subversive phase No, 17) are all a oout. If you can't $ee that, you l:,elong here. 3. In a world where actual formal education is getting to be a joke, New College continues to grapple with academic controversies while other educational institutions are out ouilding reactors for the government, suppressing or uplifting minorities, and ma:k-ing money. Conclusion: We'd all be a lot happier if New College ,just a little bit of Manatee Junior College. Miller (CONTINUED) B. It's very difficult for the Ci.Oto read each evaluation and make its own informal decision as to '!;at11 or 11lU1sat. 11 Furthermore, the faculty member is here uy defended from havq his comm entsmisinterpreted by CEO. C. Ultimate: Now the faculty will 0e conscious of doing its own grading. Formalize a New COllege Transcript, make certain it lists courses. A. C\ lhe ltudellt deserves to Ma good work. B. Practical: Our kids may not get into grad school if we don 1t allow this. C. illtimate: The transcript is the real key to counting courses! This will let the faculty threaten the students into study uy reminding them how empty their trans: cripts might look. 7. Create a diversification requirement as a "liberalization" of the required Senior Seminar, A. Idealistic: Students should have freedom to choose other than the Senior Seminar in their tbird year. B. Practical: The kids won 1t go to Se niorSeminarUlllessit1s a requirement and the Seminar will be too large if all attend! C. illtimate: We are nearing the goal. N:>w we are cotm1i.ng the satisfactory grades Notewellthat only two "sats" are counted duringthree academic years. The goal cf EECES is to expand this num.>er. Decrease the first year core programs by 1/3, from three terms to two. A. Students should not move "lock-step11 through their first academic year. They should have enough free time to choose other areas of study. B. Practical: Too many people are was tingtime stud)ingthingsthey already know. C. l,ll.tim ate: This is the key to suuver sion step #9. 9. Esta_,lish a new course-counting diversification requirement covering all \lll.der graduate years, hot just the last. A. ldeali4ic: Students are free to tailor their academic programs so they may diversify at any time .>efore graduation.. B. We can't decrease the work-load by one-third without requiring thekidstodosomethingtomake up for it. C. Ultimate: The "count-em-up" sy9tem isnowestaJllshed! Now FECES spreads graded are as of study throughout all the stu dent1s years. We have now succeeded in raising the num uer of counted "sats" from two to five. The uJ.tilaate goal is now m sight. SUBVERSIVE PLAN FOR ACADEMIC YEAR 1967-68 10 .. Call th.e long-standing language re quuement 1nto question. A. Other capabilities than languages may better fit an individual stu educational goals. B. Practical: Some of our most highly pre-professional potelrtial graduate students have languagt:. Let's get them a degrae.m any case. C. Ultimate: F o 11 ow the successful model of diversification, and hope that student and faculty groups will recommend counting still more satisfactory grades, adding up maybe to nine rather than five. lL Lead the faculty to vote that each sheet of evaluation must be checked with the grade of "sat, 11 "unsat", or "incompletel' A. Idealistic: Eachstudentshouldkncw,, etc., etc. B. Practical: It really makes it easier to know what to put on transcripts. Besides, there's a mmor that one faculty meml::er has actually thought of not grading his sezn. inars! C. Ultimate: Now the faculty has ag-reed that gradesmust .:>elisted, it's a small step to really use the grades. 12. Leave the college-wide academic pol icy so loose that any department may e quire "continuous and effective participation" in its COIIrses A. Idealistic: The faculty, too, should be free to require what it wants. Besides, e c 't eam en h Qualifying Exam to tell if a student is qualified. B. Practical: We simply have not enough timet o do anythillg other than require and participiltion. C. illtimate: Now we can count up courses, and refUse to administer the Qual ifying Exam to students who don't have enough credits for past study. 13. Make a predeterrninednumber of"sats" a pre-requisite for entering Baccaaureate Exams. A. Idealistic: The student should be. well prepared to pass an exam before he is put to the strain of taking it. B. Practical; It's damn hard to write up exams. C. Qlti:tate: See subversion step #14. 14. Re-evauate academic policies a ud find it inconsistent that students are graded "sats" inseminarfor their final two years, but not their first. Dispense with all comprehensive exams. A. Idealistic: Academic policyshould be consistent lD order to be easily understood by students, and implemented by faculty advisors. B. Practical: The first year students aren't getting enough "sats. C. Ultimate: The day of total quan-titative evaluation is coming! 15. Evaluate the amount of student work ideallyneededforeachcourse, then quantify each in tel'lDS of "term units, or maJOrn::i.nutes, 11 or anything but "cred!t hours." A. Idealistic: It's unfair to give the same credit for a 9hour lab as for a 1-hour tutorial. B. Practical: Now we can know exact!:>' and so can the student. ---C. Ultimate: See step #16. 16. Specify that a student must accme a certain number of credit units in order to progress from academic year to year. Allow each Academic Division, if it chooses, to dispense with Qualifying Exams, and the Baccalaureate. A. Idealistic: This is the uhimate in studious flexibihyl B. PracticaL No more difficult comprehensive exams to write. C. Intimate: The complete c ours egrade -credit system h:u retuued in triull:fh r TERMINAL PLAN FOR ACADEMIC YEAR 1968-69 17. Merge New College academic administration with Manatee Junior College. A. Idealistic: An intellectual and so-czial stil;pUlation. B. Practical: Decrease adminlst:I:ative overhead, and centralize book-keeping of counted courses. C. tntimate: A true conservative community college will have risen from the debris created by a lot of inpractical idealistic academic. peol?le. Open letter to New College Students --1 was interested in Dr. Elmendorf's column in the Phoenix --where he dis cussed the deep personal religious concem which is in various unorthodox ways on campus. He brought to mind a question 11 ve wondered about and would be very interested to hear your views on. True religion (I guess we agree) must be personal -it must touch the absolute det:thsof any person who calls himself religious, So the approach to religion :involves --is? --the question, "How does a hum an person open to his personal depths? It is natural to tum to drugs at this point perhaps. Clearly the self-yielding which isrequiredforatrip is a very deep opening up of the person. --Or is it? Here is my question. a person open personally except to a person? Sister Mary O'Keefe (N.c. 1968 graduate 610 West Elm Ave. Monroe, Michigan 48161 NC Receives Sears-Roebuck Grant New College was named today as one ofthe collegesto benefit from grants made by the Sears-Roebuck Foundation accord. ing to Jolm W. Wagner, local representative of the foundation. Wagner said that New College was sel ected as one of the 20 colleges and univer sities in Florida to receive grants totalling $31, 100. He presented a check for $500 representing the unrestricted grant to the local college. The grant brings to $5, 600 the assis tancethefolUldationhas givento New College in the last few years. Foundation grants totalling $1. 5 million were distributed nationally among 950 private, accredited two-and four-year colleges as unrestricted grants from a $1 million fund established oy the foundation or as grants designated for book acquisition through a new $500, 000 liorary assistance program operating for the first time thisJ year. T e Ullleestri .cted d ee by the s chools as they deem necessary. Funds through the college lit>.rary grant program are to supplement the normal oook acquisition budgets of the partici pating institutions, Wagner said. 1n addition to its grant programs, the Sears foundation will invest more than $700, 000 during the CUITent year in var-For Your Photographic Supplies See NOR TON'S CAMERA CENTER. Everything Photographic Sarasota 1481 Main Street 2069 Siesta Drive 958-4674 955-3537 Bradenton 4524 14th Street ettie'.J. lJCJCJit & Staticnetp, 9nc. "Complete Office Supplies, MAIN STREET SARASOTA. FLORIDA 33577 PHONE: $!58-6577 C'mon Captain Re: Biting the hand that feeds Deception and deviousness are indeed facts of life: the Hustle. Someones out there hustlin1 for you. Maybe it's you. The. Cap'n is financed by the students of New College. Implicitly, for these same students. You can't deny thatStudent "A" in deception. Snow is cold, but functional. Idealism is a false goal. Try, instead, living. My resolution in the SEC referred not to any large number of students whose situa. tions jeopardized by one noticeably innocuous newspaper. r should hope that most parents are alive, aware enough to know their students. Rather the censure aimed to protect the relatively few people who might be adversely affected by sormone gleanillg a wrong impression: the few people whose particular hustle requires tbis par ticular deception. I can't position myselftoJudgehis game, can you? To each his own, Don Goldberg, SEC Representative My, but you're persis tant! Well, we can1thelp but admire your cou ag eo us stand. At ious.student financial aid and other educational programs. This will .:>ring higher education expenditures by the Sears-Roe buck Foundation to more than $2,225, 000 in 1969. 1);;;;?f :..A 1525 State Street Moccalln Boou Leather Jackeu Levl'l Jell Bottom \ 4tiJ M 0 T 0 R L 0 D G E 6325 N Troil. 2 blocks north of ls;l Ed;to"' I f Rob Mallet t C David Rottman f Business Lee Harrison I : Reporters: Bob Beaird t Mary Trimble ., Charles Kinney : Maik Friedman : 't Music Reviews: : Lynwood Sawyer John Miller .: Photography: j Mar<:oPereyma j I Typing: : Zelia Ellshoff ................................

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3 Captain Jack 3 Naked Came The Familiar A review of Naked Carne the Stranger, by Penelope Ashe, Only once in a decade can a novel such asthisone come along: a novel which captures the reality and essence of the ugly world we live in with subtlety, tact, and force. A novel which is brutal m its frankness and fraU< in its brutality. In short, a masterwork of our times. Penelope Ashe has successfully pinpointed causes of alienation and psycho-sexual frustration in the latter half of the twentieth century, leaving no room for the weak-kneed or slow to emote. She has placed her artistic finger directly on the throbbingpulse and prostate of suburbia today. She gets us where it hurts. Her characters are miraculous symbols of the decadence we all must swim in; such wonderlul creations as the caught-short Paddy Madigan, the broken Rabbi Turnbull, and the most telling of them all, the impotent pornographer, Ansel Vartb. Some might claim that others, notably Jacqu..line Susann and John Updike, have, done this sort of thing before. Those people only .demonstrate their lack of forth. rightness in approaching this work. Sus ann lays claim to literary pretension; Updike tries to affect form in his works, but Pen elope Ashe has managed to capture the form which lays wide open the, wettest tnh of all: all of is episodic ;Ulsur dity. Gillian Blake, the heroine, cares notnow heuexual ;:avagings ruin (or take) the lives of her playmates. As such, she is on a parallel level with great heroines of earlier ages: Richardson's Pamela, Austin's and James' Isabel Archer. And Gillian s futile husband, William, is symbolic of the depravity and loss of manhood in all life today. But Penelope Ashe's virtuosity does not stop with plot or charapterization. Her prose is masterful, terse. May I qoote: "Under the low, thick blanket of clouds, one felt pressed down, glued to the boards of the ferry lollygagging through the Great South Bay, 11 Her use of parallel is delightful and miraculously powerlul m its implications. She can place a seduction side by s ide with an Army-Notre Dame game with subtlety and dynamism. And Gillian's communication with Morton car brow is one of the high points of the book. Adomites ::iillian engages in the wildest sex act of all, a remorseful representative of the Cosa.N.ostra, and a jaded author1 who was "arrested in his suite at the Beverlv .. J.s Hotel in the company of three blona call girls, an ancient Negro sculptress and a Shetland Need I say more? In short, this is a bo'ok which has the scrotal capacity to grasp an age by its sex organs. Penelope Ashe tells it like it is, and the answer to the problems which she raises must lie with us all. -:1\mong the other ch_ara.cters .are a -Ashe on the front cover.) lightfully true-to-life hip p 1 e1 with w hom QOOOQQOQODRODQROQDRORRRQRROQOQRODRRRRQRRRROIOROQ QQR 0 D D R OR Q A A L _-------* SEC CONTINUED Dr. Millermentionedthat the status of the guest rule amended last week was still in question, but before bringing it up for adjudication by the College Council he wantedtoseevhetherornotthe SEC really wanted to take on the responsibilities involved in their action. Supplying sign-in forms was mentioned in particular. Chairman Smith and various SEC members in dicated that this was their intention, and Smith stated that new forms for extended sign-ins were being drawn up. Among other things, these forms will include a request for statements that will help clear the college of any legal responsibility concerning the guest. Dr. Miller mentioned that the status of the Office of Student Policy during closed sessions was also in question. Chairman Smith drew attention to what he considers to be an error in the present Constitution under Article ll, Section iii, !treads, "TheDirectoroftheOfficeof Stu dent Policy will be a non-voting member of the SEC. Chairman Smith stated that when he took office last fall, the phrase was "Dean of Students" rather than "Direc tor of the Office of Student Policy, 11 and that there had been no referendum to change it since that time. Dr. Miller stated that he believed the change in wording had been made a year before Smith took office. LarryReedthenmovedthat the term "Dean of Students" be made interchangeable with tint of "Director of the Office of Stude XII: Polic)i" the motion carried. Peter McNabb moved that the matter of changing the wording in the Constitution be brought to a referendum during the next election of S EC representa tives. This motion also caiTied. Dr. Miller stated that in the past the Student Court had not dealt with non-students, and wondered if the change in the sign-in rule v.ould make any difference now. Chairman Smith said that lastyeara rule was passed giving the SC power to banish non-students, but Lar y Reed and Dr. Miller maint
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4 Captain Jack 4 !JJJiiiiJSii!SJiJSJJiiiiiii!iiiiJJJJJiiiJJJJSJJJJSJJJZJJJiSJJJ h mUSIC revte\V: umor The Joplin Concert What a strange scene! To begin with, Curt;is-Hixon tfalJ is about as intirn ate as the Rose Bowl, and it appeared as though the crowd carne to look at each other instead of listen to the music. It started out with a group called the Outlaws, I believe. They were really fascinating. Each member acting out his role: drumrnerwithhisGinger Baker break, guitarist screeching wah-wah out of his Les Paul Custom, bassist and second guitar on leaping ego trips. By the time the Outlaws were done,, I was ready for B. B. After what seemed like an interrn in able wait, B. B. came on and rocked out with "Every Day I Have the Blues. His playing transcended everything. He ad back, eyes rolling, and mouth sagging, he coaxed notes out of Lucille that were so beautiful they hurt. Tears stood in his eyes as he did "My Mood. He fin ished' with an, up-tempo "Why I Sing the Blues but the audience was too passive to get even one encore. I had imagined that it was Joplin's crowd, but it certainly became evident when she walked on stage. Before she had even begun to sing, the crowd was standing on its chairs It 1 s hard to analyze her music; she had a classy band but they played boring music. She was into the "sere am for ten minutes with repetitious, hom background" syndrome. A soprano sax and flute intro to "Summertime" was very nice, but went practically un-noticed among the screams of the audience. She ended with "Piece of My Heart," the only song her band really got together and played music on all night. I fmmdthewholething depressing. B,B had played his heart out, and not gotte n much 6f a reaction, while Joplin did the same old stuff and worked the audience mto a frenzy. Joplin has since been arresteJ for using profanity at theconcert. Like John Mayall says, "The Laws Must Change. 11 Blind Fuller Brush Photographs by Mac Brenner and other exotica ... DIPPER DAN 9ce Bzea.m HOPPE & Trail Plaza 3333 N. Tamiami Trail Phone 355-3931 STARTING IN JANUARY Captain Jack will come out on Monday instead of Thursday. the cry of the DORK (A syndicated column, the author is a member of the Mafia, whose purpose is to acquaint the reader with an unusual creature known simply as the Dork.) The Dork is a being thought to be extinct but, like the Coelecanth, has made a come back and is reputed to be alive and well on I:Jle New College campRS. This environment is well-suited to the Dork which has no mind of its own and can therefore float along in a void along with the rest of the college. The Dork can be found in various habitats on campus, either playing volleyball (badly), poker ( worse ), or in the room of one of his traine.rs. It is a sometimes amusing creature, repeating things on cue for the benefit of his trainers, and is a quite harmless beast. In fact its usual position Dork Womack is one in which its foot is placed securely in its mo:J.th. However if it escape:; in of its trainers it runs about mindlessly and becomes a true wild Dork. The wild Dork is quite at odds with its domesticated cousin and on occasion will bite the hand that feeds it. It has been found to hare a greater intelligence and will astound and amaze the trainers by coming up with an occasional original thought.. Unfortunately it may soon become extinct as it has not yet found a way to continue the species. The Dork also needs the fermented fruit of the juniper berry at least twice weekly to survive. However the poor beast should be aro=d for at least one more term and hopefully will move up on the evolutionary scale. (As it has nowhere 'to go but up. ) by Sandi the once great need to give myself to the sea t o breathe in the sea b e salt and sleep again tried so hard swam with my shoulders bare out into the sea with my orange and grey rags with my circus rags and then deep down into the sea but I tried too hard bobbed up cry1ng and could not die VALUE OUSE D ivision.of SMITH SPECIALTY CO. 2044 47TH ST SARASOTA, FLA. PHONE 335 1116 ARMANDS KEY SARASOTA, ....p= ... !? .. p=