New College of Florida Brilliantly Unique; Uniquely Brilliant



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Alternate Title:
Byzantium (Vol. 1, #5)
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New College of Florida
New College of Florida
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Sarasota, Fla.
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April 28, 1978


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History -- New College (Sarasota, Fla.)
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government publication (state, provincial, terriorial, dependent)   ( marcgt )
College student newspapers and periodicals
College publications
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United States -- Florida -- Sarasota


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Sixteen page issue of the student produced newspaper. Some text of this newspaper is not legible due to the phsyical construction of the publication.
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I oUld like to tate this opportunity endorse Bob Allen as the only possible individual ould adequately ellfill the position of student trustee !or the next three years. Bob swusative, intelligent and eloquent individual. He has served ef'fectively as Chairman S.B .. c. has worked in a paying position for the New College admissions office, and has h of his time toward helping the New College Foundat on. r.aaon that I endorse Bobs oan4daoJ e o-fold. Piret, I believe that the arrogance J'taa campus politics this )'ear mt come to an end. The other candidates for the .,....,_,__, __ ot twi.4UJt trustee have been dOIIlinant tiprea in the, dare 1 call l.'t ":SJ.eese;y, if Sllltbing, has only f\.lrtlulr atud.nta from taking i.rttreat in cP))1l8 B.ob, b)' e-entraat, is t arrop.nt which is perhaps .Bob is one of the moat intelligent people I know. The depth or intuitive under ':flltj\liPia; Ae bM abotrt the and. of this school goes far beyond that bo .I've spo en to. I hOpe that tn. trustees support him for student ..


EDITORIAL (continued) was about all I could do given the pt;.blication deadline which I had to meet so I am writing this apology, part, Hank, who, I think rightfully, was upset ab;ut an of character which was made only for the sake of poking fun and not intended to hurt or damage anyone's personal career. Bra ch caiT_lpus eps b ast b dget plan By JAY MEISEL and AVIE SCHNEIDER 4/2?/?er wrHers Representatives from two of the three USF branch campuses blasted the Student Senate for not giving them enough Activity and Service funding. Though the Budget Committee has not yet placed its recommendations on the floor, the speakers came to the meeting to protest after reading about the committee's proposals in Tuesday's Oracle. The committee has proposed to cut A&S funding to less than the 86 per cent of campus generated revenue required by the senate's coosti.tution. "We resent the lack of in formation (concerning A&S funding)," a representative from Nl'w College, Brian Albritton, said with fiery eloquence. Albritton, chairman of the New College Student Executive Committee, added that "we resent lhe pretentious nature (of the Student Government>.'' He said Nevi College would like to consulted in matters con the school and commanded the fo "get it in gear." We have listened to you castigate us,'' Gene Bartley, !-lenator from the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences at Tampa, said. He added that the senate fla5 met every Tuesday night anti New College has failed 1 -to send representatives to those meetings. AJbritton then replied that. .-unrl1!:r rbe revised t::ons.tihJtion, the" branch campuses have no senate representation. The Senate Budget Committee has discussed the possibility. of recommending $150,000 to $152,000 in funding to the regional college campuses in the following manner: Fort Myers-no funds; St. Petersburg $81,854; and Sarasota (which allocates A&S funds to New College) -$80,625. The committee will present its final recommendations to the "'enate in next week's meeting. Roy Mumme, director of the Fort Myers campus said yesterday that, "to withold funds is grossly unfair and highly discriminating to the students of Fort Myers. ''I cannot see any legal grounds for any reduction in the 86 per cent to 14 per cent formula," Mwnmesaid. The present statue for branch campus A&S funding states that each of the regional college cam ""'ill receive 86 per cent of the funds they generate and tf.e remaining 14 per cent will stay at the Tampa campus. The Senate will have to change this sta.tute before it approves the com mittee's proposed recomMendations. Senate Pres. Larry Flannagan said yesterday the reason behind the proposrd committee budget re-commendation for branch c mpuses lS that the Divisions of Student Affairs and Academic have made large l"eQU5ts. 'I"herefo.o-e, there is te" on the specifics, he said.


A LETTER TO GARY BERKOWITZ Dear Gary, Has a useful comment come out of your mouth in months? Your recent blast to the student court seems to be one of the more unthinking things put forth around here lately. We have now and are go-ing to have in the future enough problems with preserving autonomy from USF. A Student Court seems to me to be one of the better things in our government to preserve in the new constitution. Why should I we give up control of students and their relation to I the "law". Do you really want Dale or (heaven forbid) Herr Scheidler deciding your fate for, say, howling at the moon at midnight? Or for partying too late? Or for violating any of the stupid USF type rules which might be inflicted upon us in the future? As5_de from that, it might be a good thing for "the New College community" if we were responsible to each other for our actions rather than to some other agency. Think it over Gary. dear Mr. Lincoln, Yours truly, Robert Lincoln Aside from your general bad grammar, you seem to have missed the gist of my article' right now student court can do absolutely nothing. I suggest giving it more power or disbanding it as being nonfunctional. I would be the last one to put us in the hands of USF, but student court can do nothing about this trend, nor could it ever. As for my "blast, it is in the unf'ortunate tradition of New College Gonzo journalism--inside jokes and yoks, See Phil Lums en about this for more information. But my opinion of the court stands. As one who has seen a trial, I assure you that the present judges are tempramentally unsuited. Explaining the obvious, Gary D. Berkowitz rJATER COLOURS Paintings in "bright water colours leap along swollen, sedated lungs, eat air like swallowing chalk. Your sharp-boned skeleton hangs in the x-reys. You are embalmed. You are a cascade of bloody noses and that weird smell when it happens. You. I make love to you and your body crumbles into moldy flakes as I caress your chalky thighs. It's easy to say that you smelled good o but now you smell like cheap perfume and flies. You crumble. Your blackened break up, exposing your ribs. You draw water colours bright as day. A day contorted by your tongue lingering easing around open corners. You make statements in non-lucid sentenc and look child-like with milk-white Pimple medicine stains my white pants in fleshy blotches. You don't pre-judge. -Herbert s. Guggenheim


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In my first essay, I criticised the lack of organizations and students here that ever do anything. Since that time two efforts have sprung up. This essay is a critique of both partly because both have generated similar manifestos. I speak of the Social Change Group and The Residuelliste. It is important for the reader to keep straight in his mind that I approve of the basic idea of having a group committed to social change, that a student puolication that honestly attempts to be different and avante garde is commendable. I don't want to be accused of being unreasonable. It does the heart good to see people make an effort to do Emething. But what is being done? Before I attempt to answer this somewhat philosophical question, allow me to dJgress. Last week this magazine, in response to a philosophical challenge about .Raison D'etre from Peter Bynum, justified its existence. Herb's answer was that providing subjective and entertaining op :i.l!ion, the opiate of the r:1asses, was justifiable because hard news publications already exist, and people want to read this kind of thing there is no reason for not providing it. Tnis answer is all right, in fact it has been used in some form or another by every publication which I've encountered here (Gonzo, Cream Style Corn and the Catalyst). I have also seen this reasoning espoused in earlier publications such as lf:escalito and el Douche. A better answer is that journalists should not have to answer to philosophers (and vice versa) and that's all there is to it. If a publication is read, then it is its own reason for being. How does my digression apply to tge Social Change Manifesto and the ,P.esiguelliste? These r:J.anifestos were more or less thrust upon us whether we liked them or not. Admittedly, Residuelliste is distributed in the same manner as this magazine, but it is more omnipresent because I have seen it littered about the floor or used as scrap paper (half of it is blank paper). The ocial Change manifesto was put in everyone's mailbox, a sort of junk-mail manifesto. Both of these manifestos are GARBAGE, they have no raison d'etre, they provoke no thought, provide no information, no entertainment. (Perhaps these three things are Byzantium's reasons for being.) I took vhe of sampling popular opinion abd also the opinion of people whose judgement I respect and found them to be unanimous--they were sorry to have spent their time on these The social Change group manifesto says the following: "concepts of rationality and the logic of legitimation are structured by socio-economic relations embodying themselves in institutions." is .. the logic of legi.titnat ion"? No one else recognizes this claim, which is dolbJe talk. The next point of the manifesto is equally obscurantist, conta.:.ning ten words with at least ten letters each in only two sentences. ASOLO l'r10V IE a ( IV10nday May 1 1 THE GARDEN CF THE {Italian, 96 min. color) Directed t Vittorio De this story of the Jews in Italy in late 1930's won a Academy Award for best foreign filn 1971 and marks DE Sica's return to quality of film _1 distinguished hlf early works, as The Bicycle Thie: and Umberto D. S1 titles. o4 2tJO, 7 & 9 (.Monday, May 8, CITIZEN KANE


BERK0WITZ (continued) The second section deals their goals, which rather than dignify by repitition, I will sum up by saying they are either unfeasible or worse, an attempt to mold reality into their theory, thereby distorting that reality. Long range goals are stated as, "oppose the military structure of society as well as militarism itself," and repeal of the right to work law (while supporting the U.F.W.). Also, they have evidence of the way socio-economic chanBge could contain "environmental exploitation." In short, this is a half baked hodge podge of poor ideas that are being foisted off on us for no good reason. While Byzantium does not claim a monopoly on good ideas, it has its standards, and does not print the worst of what is submitted to it. The Residuelliste. What can we say? Let's skip to the manifestos "Art is dead. Long live art." Old art has rio .. expressive power." "Man is as deep as the blank staring universe, and art can only (indicate) the way he has travelled. Art is the .. ephemeral wake." Well, Le Residuelliste contains more than enough flotsam, jetsam and offal to fulfill its own criterion. verses: why is everyone so full of shit i mean really geesits like Kazowwie and I'm full of (etc.) rhis probably took longer for me to copy than it took the author to compose. T t leaves unanswered many questions1 why is the author so full of shit? I mean kazowwie! Young intellectuals on the march! (Hey! Wowl) 'rhe spirit of dada rekindled, only so boring and unimaginative, but I digress. Also in this magazine are two .. pictures", one a mental one-liner called "lily Pen Won't and an untitled set of blotches which I lovingly refer to as "Rorshach for the retarded." THe Social Change Group meets every week. When they discuss this drivel among themselves, they do not impose, When they publish it and stick it in people's mailboxes they do impose. Hopefully the authors of Le Residuelliste have gotten their heavy message off their chests and will allow their publication to die a quicx, death. o RADIO BLUES Right around the beginning of everyone interested in being a D.J. on the New College carrier current radio station was invited to a meeting in Hamilton Center conducted by Lenny Russo, station manager. "The station will start working tomorrow," Le1ny said, "I just have to fix one connection and it'll be all set." Six months later, our poor little station is still not operating. "You'd better not print anything about this in the paper," Lenny be really upset... I countered by saying, "I just want to know what's said, "Or else I'll so hard about getting '1


RADIO BLUES (continued) the damn place open and broadcasting." "Have you been over to the station? Have you seen hat we've done? ie've got all the '77 and '78 releases. We've got two working turn tables, and we've got everything filed alphabetically." "Then why isnt the station open?" Herb, I'm just one man. I've been doing this all by myself. When I got tmhe job of radio station manager, I told the S.E.C. that it would take me a year to get the station unning." "But hy'? Why? Why? Why?" I still haven't gotten an adequate re ponse. Functionally, the radio station is very simple, a few switches, a mike, a couple of turn tables. It's not hard to use, and it's a fun toy. "So don't print anything, the station w:ill be opening Tuesday." Hnunm, Tuesday. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tcmo row It's your $)00 investment. /1tJA/tt.#N ;?/L Oft/ A/P/ ffRSel2dl/t:JN 2 P.At suM/JH '/1 'I y2-. II t>Jiii(S T:/l


They sipped or gulped the organic liquor; they were connected by glances or simultaneous 3runts at particularly effective metaphors--this is the best time of their lives, remember, their youth, time of frustration, idealism, narcissium. Except the atmosphere was a bit too dorm-roorr.nomey and television talk-showish. Step into my parlour said the fly to the spider, and littJe Muffet sat down beside her. Hooray for Ginsberg! Hooray for Shakespeare, ever, who has not ret been forgotten! (Not that he shouldn't have been, long ago, remarks a She gc s up to piss, comes back, discovers a puddle of blood in her chai:c, and leaves to piss again. )he returns, listens vaguely to the words which are flowing through the air like the ocean waves Ln the content; she reclines, kicking over empty beer cans, empty. The air solidifies with words, ;uous words, but wait--words with meaning, apparently, som! people are clapping and for more. More shit! they yell. (Well, they don't put it quite that bluntly, but :hat is what they mean, under the red hats and pink name tags, over the broken hearts, etc.) How must we welcome? But perhaps the hearts are shut, or else suck obsessively at the Jords, the red and pink bloody words, the words which flow through the veins and back out of the 1outh, regurgitated words, the same words, only different (you must admit). So, in the final analysis, why? Are they detached from their words? Are the words detached :rom their meanings? Like the strings that are draped in gentle crescents, (a particularly ineffec :ive metaphor) do the words evoke platitude? They make you want to cry or vomit; to spew up the Lealthy, sickening beer along with the words on the "side" of the can, to project or inject the heightening agent into your mind; to make you more creative. She flexes the muscles in her jaws, yawns, heaves a voluptuous sigh, turns to the man behind ter, rolls her eyes at him in an "isn't this pretentious" look, swallows the last warm drops of eer, and sits up. Glances around, stands, makes a supposedly grand farewell, isn't this grand, nd leaves. The leaves blow off the trees, but this only means that winter the ord "winter" means nothing except in the context of summer, just as the word "false" means nothing xcept in the context of true.


0 I I >s Bt.t :TANN o1 Eye Zen My Vains, I Sin My Veins. Oh, Lord, I Sin My Veins .... It becomes evi-vi-vi-dent that spiders have again held close-order drills on the roof of my mouth during the night. Note: cheap vanderHuis left overnight in spilt puddles, will congeal into a violet gum not unlike plastic. Such a morning, the sky-high-high should give me inspiration, I could never name the colors, not have I got the guilders to pay for the paints. The air be clear and sweet and--were I not obsessed with filth ----pleasant. Ah, Amsterdam, Hamster-clam! There ain't nobody damned as I am damned. Cheese as a foodstuff has the advantage of ageing with dignity. You can scrape the glaze of mold away and chow down, with a reasonable certainty of staying alive. Which cannot be said for lamb, say, or pork and dumplings. Also, cheese is all I seem to have left. So I slice it thin, thin, with the big, old-world butcher knife, the one cultural purchase I have made in deference to European living. It could doubtless serve as a symbol for something, its big brown blade stained with the vital juices of animals slain in anger and cheese. It's sharp enough --I stab it upright into the table, an inch deep in the wood. Among rows and rows of similar slits, for I am not the most desirable of tenants. But I am passing for Dutch. Passing for Dutch. Passing for Dutch. You want to be a Master, you got to pass for Dutch. Pass for Dutch. That's what I want to do, so very very much. The paint must be dry today on Depth Warmed Over. I suppost I haven't touched it since February; all the elements must be precisely right before the creative juices will flow, and they havent been, they haven't been. No, no, they haven't been. I wrote to K yesterday, though I could ill afford the thirty-odd cents of postage. Wanted to include a memento, but an ear seemed so trite. Considered a finger, but wasn't sure how well I'd be able to hold a brush after. A testicle seemed counter-productive. The paint is dry. Now it will be difficult to match the hues, which change very subtly when the paint has dried. These distinctions are lost on the amateur. And seem psychosomatic to the dilettante. Do you hear me, bitch? The grays and blues around the skull must be just right. I've lost the gray pigment now, but I still have some of the blues. Still have the blues. Blues, blues. Still have the blues. The subject is the desperateness that lies just beneath the surface of everything. It is a masterpiece. The central figure is the skull, the face, in which can be seen all the horror that pervades being a human, a man, a Dutch-man. Looks something like me. Blues, I think, gray highlights. When I can afford a book on anatomy, I w1.'ll pa1.'nt in the worm-gray brain.


But the most fascinating feature will be the frail pink skin, drawn taut and transparent across the death's skull. I haven't painted that part yet, but it will be damned good. So far, the canvas is still amost totally blank. Chrystalos talks of starting an avant-garde magazine if he can raise the money. The art NOuld be Non-Representational--splotches of ink like bird-droppings--and the poetry Non-Sensical. ;hrystalos is a fool and a faggot, and his magazine will be trash. Might as well go outside to-day, Maybe get a hand-out, maybe get laid. I am hungry. And horny. Leave Depth Warmed Over untouched for a while, and take a walk in the Arnster-darnned sunshine. 3cek a little hinspiration, take the knife along, and maybe strike a blow for OTT.


Monday, I ran my last New College S.E.C. commissioner of elections. I hope. There is still a possibility that the new student government will be voted on referendum things this const1tut1on should ease the JOb of future Elect1ons Comm1ss1oners, which isn't actually that rough a job. The problems with supervising an election are simply that the work demands a lot of time, is tedious, thankless, and puts one in a position as a one man (or woman) grievance committee for the student body to abuse. I have run four elections, two of which have been contested and a third that easily could have been and I'm really not a total incompetent. The day after the Medieval Fair, our beloved S.E.C. chairpersob, Brian Allbritton, came to my door at nine in the morning and expressed the urgency of my running another election. This time it was the Trustee Nomination Election for this June's graduates to suggest names to the N.C. foundation, one of which (whom) will be .selected for a three year term as trustee. Brian gave me a list of the prospective graduates, saying I had to get a notice out today stating that we would run the election tornorro'"' Unfortunately, Brian didn t come to my room with a bucket of water or a crow bar to get me of out of bed and consequently my attention was divided between the said state of my alcohol-ridden corpse and the tinge of guilt I felt for actually being awake when I had intended to sleep through my Russian class. In any case, I got the notice out, but the following day there was no election due to my understanding that Brian would set the whole thing up and his understanding that I would do the same. So we had the election two days later, on Thursday, April 13. Thursday's election went well, three persons getting nominated with eight, eight and five votes. Three days later the election was contested on the grounds of a lack of notice, with a hint at a corrupt of votes voiced by the contester. Brian agreed with this irate individual that there was not sufficient notice and the election was to be rerun Monday, April 24. Recognizing that the complaint was justified, I still expressed my disgust at to organize and run another election, while threatening to do something gross should the voter turn out and the results not be substantially different. This election's results included a tie for third place and Pete Tepley, who counted the votes, w "th me got a little nervous when I started screaming that I'd not spend another day seated by that rotten Ballot Box. Fortunately, we theorized that the FoundatiJn was. pressed for time and we'd just have to give them four names to choose from (Bob Allen, Josie Martin, Fred Golding, and Rick Rever). Everyone's happy. under_the new the SEC representatives will represent those who share geograph1c locat1on of the1r (i.e., a 3rd court representative, a B-Dorm rep., a .:.ew off-campus reps., etc.) 1 'hJ.s should build a little community spirit in the dorms, and tM .p-age IL


the R.A. 's, who apparently do nothing anyway, can supervise the intracourt elections. The Off-campus representatives, the at--large representatives and the student positions on the various committees would still have to be handled by an Elections' Commissioner. It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. The experience hasn't really been all bad. I have gotten to know a lot of students by name from checking them off the voting list. I also had an interesting run-in with Jodi Siegel, whose petition mysteriously disappeared and whose name didn't appear on the first ballot second term. She looked at me as if she would've started tearing at my jugular had I not rerun the election. She did get elected and I'm always glad to find out which of my colleagues are potentially dangerous. Finally, if you ever notice someone who is particularly in the future at New College, find out if he's the Commissioner of Elections. If he is, be nice to him; chances are he hates his job and has not friends.


This week has been one of the most sordid, but at the same time juicy and interesting weeks in New College history. It has been the occasion of two visits by provost candidates, Leon Bramson and Lewis. It has been the week of an extraordinary meeting between John Lott Brown, President of the University of South Florida and students from both New College and U.S.F. night school. It has been the week of one of the most firey town meetings ever held at New College. It has been the week of Brian Albritton's unbridled att on the Tampa student legislative burreaucracy. It has been the week of the semi-annual trustee meeting, And finally, it has been the week of mRaXEfx what started out to be one of the best and rapidly became one of the worst S.E.C. meetings that I have ever attended. So cut the dramatic bullshit and tell us what it was all about. All right. First, Leon Bramson came, suave chai!'man of the Sociology Department at Swarthmore. He showed the students that they could expect a more intense candidate for provost than was Glickman t he previous week. He answered student questions well, drawing the students out, making them want to talk about specific problems of the school as well as address their own educational philosophy and not just his. These are some of Bramson's comments from his visit to N.C.& "I received my B.A. and from ... he University of Chicago. I served two years in the army ru1d then went on to receive my PhD. from Harvard in the mid-50's. I was invited to Swarthmore and went in 1965. The intent was that I create aR program in Sociology." Q. Do you believe in a so-called core curriculum? A. I think that you can have some core-type courses (i.e. aethetics and the arts) but when you require core courses it often results in a situation where students a end up serving time in general education courses that they aren't interested. Q. If you were given the position of Provost, would you teach? A. I've spent my whole life as a teacher, I'd continue to teach as much as I could. About one course a term. Q. Do you support the fine arts? A. I think that the fine arts are absolutely essential to a liberal arts education. I am very much interested in findingout all that I can about the planned program xa that U.S.F. is formulating with the Ringling Museum. At "this point, Mike Armstrong, though well intentioned, tlent on at great leng"th about the housing situation on the N.C. campus. Bramson was interested, and seemed to be more concerned than his position would warrant with the residentiality of the college. He sai.d, "I think that it is the responsibili to embrace more than academic affairs." After the meeting, Andy He ard asked, "How would you feel about giving students equal representation on all 'faculty hiring and firing committees?" "I wont mix words with you," Bramson said, "I'm against that."


When Lewis came, he snuck into the school a half a day earliy so as to case the joint. I was not to him in special session for the students, but I found out that I could see at h1s meeting w1th the Nat. Sci. and Social Science professors. A portly man, Lewis, wearing a blue jacket and a bright yellow shirt. BaldiR& with a thick mustache. Lewis' answers were much the same as Bramson's although he mixed a goddamn into every sentence. "You'd better goddamn well understand that if I take this job, I'm going to take it only under certain specific conditions. I'm going to want some kind of direct authority over admissions, and I'm going to want to represent a school interest which is greater than that of each division." "Excuse me dear," Dr. Demme put in addressing Beth Mayberry, "Vud you mind taking your feet off of the table please." "Sure." "Tankyou." "I can give you instances of at least ten history professors that I know who would dance on the head of a pin to tell you that History is not one of the Social Sciences." Dr. Demme chuckles, "Vel, you don't understant the charm of this situation. I am a history professor and I am the head of the Social Sciences division." "Q E. D. as it were Actually, I knew that. Lew is pats Demme on the knee. Actually I knew that all along, but I couldn't resist." "We have an explosive issue in our midst," I said dramatically, "Last year, when Hal Serri's contract ran out, .. the decission was made to terminate the anthropology department "I know what you're doing, and I'm going to dodge the question. This is a deliberate dodge as it were." "Here, let me help you out of Morrill put in. And the meeting went on. "Did you survive the day?" Berggren asked afterwards. "I think so. Ian Vanderveen "I think Lewis is great. I think he'd be great for this place. Lyndon Clough "I think he's one of the most vulgar men I've ever met in my entire life. He should be the head of a tr eking or something." The s.E.C. was almost unanimous in their support of Lewis after a sordid xaia straw vote session. I liked Lewis very much, but I still preferred Bramson. I could be wrong. We all could.


Ther once was a lady named Cleo ho net a musician from Rio. As he pulled do n her panties, she said, "No andantes--! a.'1t this allegro con brio ... Oh God, I'm dying. Next week they'll be handing out parts of my body instead of these blasted papers. --H.S.G. Herbert s. Guggenheim -editor Kim Keene Gary Berkowitz Greg Vickers Charles Treadwell avid Houska Jann Gtt Rob .allet Robert Lincoln -the whole sick crew Special thanks to Barbara in housing for making this one the success that it is. Also typing. The views in this magazine--just fu k off buddy. Try to sue. Just try. No views in this rag. Get what I'm saying?

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