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PAGE 1 1 Volume 1 Edition 4 October 6, 1978 ,-/ ? \ r 7 ] -_/ -, PAGE 2 :..ow. <\ia Keene ? .3. t.he: 500 st-..den:s t!"-.e :a:tpo.:.s 1..C"'e ae:rely pl.gli:.ents 3f your :!.:::n. ?.?.2 .s. even a ts a ?.:.?.?.5. ::n .... r.e cne .=-:"'..ar.,i, ,;s t>Jde.n t3 JOU see be :n ':.na. t case yoa .snc..Ud can tact !..ately. Ser!.ously, ,;.m one ever take anythir'g Sl!rict,;.sly? r:a sayL'>g ts that ,. .. yt.. you a.re about lt the WTOllg >laY. r aean t.ne orst .ray ts to t.hea,you knov how lfhsn you were iZ'. hlgh school .n1 ycu:r ;>ar9!!0:> fccnd ::>ut you saoke:.;.ppcs ... >d...ly an :..t...:.: ':...ln at. oce is to exp=-ess hi.s t1e:S and a.r.d !.f a re:.uier or aud!.er.ce instead of a .l'r!.ter or pe=-:-:.:-.1:!= per!'-..aps tt sr.c:.rs O"t" .JQ his ?art an1. I tht.n;t: ..!'ust \!h!.S :"'ol!o.,.S .J. :nr.-1, tO-d.} i!' : .. !!.:l:.=.de.:: :t::::n-=-J!' a.txnre, 60 to .ieave-::! -:.-nat : !'or 1t and I got "!ou cen l!ke r io. fou have a ataff :oe::oe= >r: 3hou.ld !" t : _.-ar.t to tell sov:.eone t.:--.a.t. he reall.:r swc;cs "rut !: can t see:n to lnJ. the !'!..;:r.t .,-oris. Your last ed!. :.:rrial. had tne sor;. of cna.sti.SL'"l.g tone r. look!.ng for $0 za.J'oe yo'J. can hel;l' :!!.e out. I C3..Pl ha."'ld.le t.he and ac-=\.t.sat!ons 2yself, just need neltJ the dirt. .spml.r.g ..:iltor'" col=n to advice seelutrs. :e'!'n sc-::.eCine poai.t1cn should !.hree A)U:se > PAGE 3 re. MIP HAb <...oAJPMG pAN IN'Tfi(VLE'N oNt'!'11 BltDWJJJe, Tfif cAMP&lS ltNO"MtfR. C.OV.e11lt:tJ itle ol' JfiJ T'#fli.& WE. Iiiii> A PtiJ INK tJF 'TWO c.oPut.JI\TfNG z..oV. It IT 0,: 'THE' t7DNI IN S&.AC.tc. C.R t'f" <:.A-Mf PO PAGE 4 by Roger Bachman C!'\apter !'/-Dossier of a ?hysicist ... --: enter:d t'le of -::t;>eratior.s 1 of1.ce wi-=:'::ou't door ;i=, beside r;,e d.t?sk, :1nd said, ..::..zt .. e-ll is th1s all abouc.? I thouq'lt I '"'as-:rol,-.7 """ =e on a ceal missior.:, ar.d :::2rvey ser.ds :ne ?r :;c Jim. :-ri:.c-es-.er, t,;,e :::> was e::pec-S!Jc-: an out:tlurst:. .. Sir..ce -:e ?ersur.all't resoor.sible for plannir.g o all clar.des':l.:-.e "e. :r.ade it :1 poi.n-: of age:1ts. -=.:e t:1at .:onn r'lad a. !'lat!l:ral reOellion aut-:orit:y1 and .mlik.e :-z.rvey. "".e k..""!e'H -:,at :taz.a' PAGE 5 -3-west are efficiently or else tne bulk of the influx comes from and its environs.a Wi:1C:1ester looked across at and saw the dubl.ous and d1sincerested frown on ,is face. Still, was not to be nut off by John's doubts. said, t can tell skeptic.ll. but bear wit!'\ me. ':'us is tne clinC'\er. T ltree :nont::s ago we raided t ,' e Bologr.a, I .:aly office o f tne K.G.a. It contained n=es and p notos oi over :oo selected K.G.B. operatives. Look "-t slid a picture across t1e desk. Jo picked it up a,d l Kazaks. K.G.3. T' 1 e picture was of poor quality, but John realized t!'tat it could 1ave beer. Kazaks. He rec."lled eatures of t r e :ace te seen everv dav in and more 1e th0'-'9 about: it the n'ore ... it bore .J. definite rese..,blance. Of coursi:! it could oe"'n someone else named Kazaks. but ... ilinc!':escer interrupted _,is train a and added, "That.' s all t:te infonnat ior.. about;. Kaz'l:-.::3 we could get out:. of Bologna. In fact. that's all we cou:d out about any oi t.h e 3.qer.ts whose were .J.t 3ologr.a. format was the s=u:e--picture. last and Som e agents were from G.R.U. (the Intellige."::e !:lepartment of the Gen.:!ral Staff of Soviet Army), t .: e M.G.3. (the Soviet .5erv ice) and R. U .M.I .D. (the Intel.!.ige!".C' PAGE 6 6 -s-grip and silencer, and proceeded to take 5D rounds of practice at pistol He also that wit" all the ...ate::: Sarasota, anks. Kazaks the physicist, but the spy. Next week: Chapter V-Nill the Real Peter Kazaks .. ? TO: Michael FROM: Johnson A, Discoclone, Galaxy Lanes Astra Lounge RE: Our Dress Policy Mr. Arrns trong: r JUSt thought I would take a few to clear up any you might have w1th our dress policy. I this has of some concern to you. As we are always willing to serve our customers in the way best possible, it is no trouble for me take a few m1nut:es of my precious time---mind you, I don't come cheap---to answer tbe questions of some slob hippie. Caveat empty, as they say. First. we have posted signs clearly explaining our policy. NO NO CUT OFFS, NO TENNIS SHOES, NO T-SorRTS. Although it is not clearly stated, this policy only applies to men and girls with small tits, acne, or other social defects(like they don't shave their underarms or are Jewish or look. like it). This is established for several reasons. L) This is a "disco" lounge, and everyone knows disco lounges are a gay-black plot to outfit the male population of the US in tight polyester pants and shirts. 2) we don't want any Southern Rockers in our bar, and everpone knows Southern Rockers always wear blue jeans and cowboy bats. 3) Basically we are a meat market for latent homosexual businessman trying their damndest to prove that they really do l1ke women. How can you be a meat market if good looking studcnts(who if they are gay, love to excite and if are not, k.now how to please them) or student types give us---excuse me, my clientele--competition? 4) We are in a classy neighb'>rhood, and -.,e wish to uphold our standards. 5) My brother-in-law has 20,000 shares each in Ruckapoo and Nik-Nik. shirts. Naturally, there will arise moments when our customers may differ somewhat with our policy. Fuck 'em. As long as we sucker a few thousand dumb idiots to pay outrageous prices for dr1nks. wear clothes that itch like and make you look like fools, slobber over buxom blondes, and put up with music that sounds like Laurence Welk on ludes, why should we have to consfder the crazy ideas of a few idiots like you? College graduates. This is the south, in case you had forgotten, and considerations like human dignity, individual taste and expression, civil rights, or feminism never had in this town. d)f course, you have t.he right to state your opinions, but Bruno and Lox never progressed beyond the second grace, and wouldn't know a civil suit if it walked up and shit in their face. NOnetheless, we do try to handle the occasional complaint in a friendl concerned manner, juat like ve u .. d to handle uppity niggers before they started becoming such good muaicians. I bope thie clears up any rr you have any questions, keep thea to yourself', 10\1 filthy elob. Best, Ima Di..,oclone r I PAGE 7 MOTt:L IUORTS by )U>OilYJIOUS I up on B sleepless Outni 1 M'l thPy played, :- r t the h ours into s11all boles in the l(round, P-nl '"'Iobin' littll' ""'" wenrinc iron ,.ilPs. J hear the chuckles 1 r.v ,, I ck r'J! thf' 1 Y b'Jlterl to thP floor. I c'lrl In' 1 trnu to look at l\1ddy Thror,.h hi kRliedf'GCI'pic eyes. J renmrr ed my eautiouo Hy trrn hirta nnd rrt un, I 1 my "YOO And thP curt.inP. by Herbert S. Guqqenhi!ia Washington, D.C. is a cut-throat political town. The old boys from Howard Universitv hold the keys or fight over them whichever you prefer. D.C. is a notoriously Uemocratic city. In 1972, the Uistrict of Columbia and the State of tee were the only two places in the entire country which went for McGovern in the Elections. is also an odd city, because its people are the only people in the un:ted States ng! to have representation in the House and Senate. (As of 1974 Uistrict did a non-voting "delegate" in the House). 'l' he people of the Nation's Cavital did not even have a say in who was elected as president of the United States until 1960. Well, some good things have come about recently the Congress passed rbsolutioras which 5rant the District full statehood. Because the District is set aside in the Constitution as the Federal Enclave, the resolutions passed by congress will not become law until tney have been approved by the legislatures of )8 states. New Jersey was the first state to pass such a resolution. )7 to go. Washington now has a 1nulti-billion dollar subway system which links it with Virgi"i" ana !llaryland. While the subway is operating under enormous defecits, it has succeeded in creatir.g thousands of jobs for Washington area workers. The subway I should add is a science-fiction writer's paradise with huge escalators plunging commuters hundreds of feet below tne Eartns sur facu through time-tunnel-like shafts into vaulted rooms illuminated hy concealed light Ul6 sources. I recently had a party for some of my friends in my new efficiency Walter the present mayor of the city, has not succeeded, in fact he has failed miserably in holding down c rents, t y apartment is me $267 per month. Anyway, I had this party, and all of my old high school friends were there as well as some others including one of karian Barry's top political was getting drunk and atoned. It was Saturday, my high school days were making fun of my new found theatrical friend!!, theatre company I work for were making fun back and everybody was having t i..me except for Jones the strateg i.st. ll call him Jones becaus" 1 car.' t name in thais article). 10. tri.,r,lh> !ro.n Friends from the a hell of a good tell you nis real a Relax, Jones, my friend Rolie Vere Essex the third said smiling through his beard, "You all put up a good fight even if Darry doesn't win." It's not that, Jones said, "1 think he 'll win. I'm just a little uncomfo rtable about the IIUU'gin. :t o u think he'll win? aaaltebody aaid iner.duJ.oua. All noise instantly ceased. I was amazed, There is a betting pool in my part of the city, In the early days of the primary race, I had put twenty bucks on Barry to win. I never thought he actually would. I just sort of hoped that the force of my will and my bet would make him win. We all have these fantasies. Sentember 7th--in an eleventh hour meeting, barry's Unitarian pastor had called a meeting between Sterling 'l'ucker, the front-runner in the election, barry and himself. 'J'h;; wwa.s to be held or:' the stroke of midnight at 'tile pastor's home. lJarry ttad beer. .::onnea. He bel1eved that the meetl.ng was for the sole purpo;;e of ne and his pastor decidir-6 wnether or not Barry should be endorsed. He had (or so he said) no notion that 1'ucker would tt involved, At the last minute, Barry found out and blew the lid off tne The purpose of the he said, was to persuade him to drop out of the tt.ree-way rae" a.nd throw his support to Tucker thus defeating th" incumbant. "1 have no intention of dropping out of this race," Barry st.at-.d defiantly and lit:!llt on His endorsed tucxer. That wao l>ad So did councilwoman Polly Shackelton, the only white person on the u.c. city council. Sl1e has one of the tightest political machines in the city. Her Ward wich is the or.ly white ward in Washington is also one of the strongest voting blocks altnou&h times Olo the wrong side of aan issue. She agreed to endoree Tucker believing that Barry didn't have a eat's chance in hell of being elected. Smiling and beaming at Tucker she said, ut.ly if 7 we unite our forces will we be able to beat Walter Washington. PAGE 8 !'teE lACE FOR MAYOR ( l L1 .88 Jones and I had been at a T.V. set when she made thie announcement and Jones wuttered, .. lilY ass bitch. Dut wno is Marion Barry? lie was a political activi st during the '60:; foLlndiug an organ called Pr1de Incorperated which set up employment opportUJlities for city ycuth, he was elected to the D.C. city council in 1974 where he has remained since He has a record of helping the poor, supporting mass transit and acting in the interest. Sterling Tuc;:ker, his opponent! beC!lllle much tuore politically windswept. h" IIWas th., Chairman of the C1.ty Council. wh1le he has taken many or' tile same positions as 9arry h.e has a reputat1.on as a pol1.t1cal animal, manipulator and fink. 'I' urns out the person with the most fink ish of all reputations ie the t.:ayor hi111Bdf one Sri RaJIIa Washington. Godhead of D.C. Appointed in by Lyndon B. Johnson to b., the chief exec. of O.C., Washington was imported from Albany ,Hew York where ho: d been workins on the transportati an board. When the city got the privilege of its own mayor rather than having him chosen for the post, \Jashington ran against the young, handsome, but assholian, Clifford Alexander who made sta,ements like "If I'm elected mayor, I '11 appoint a black pol ice chief," Meanwhile, once D.C. had a limited form of home rLlle, its political monsters began to develop. This year as the primary arrived, there were two RepLtblican candidates for :.ayor and no less than five declared candidates for the temocratic slot. It is widr:ly known that whoever wins the Democratic primary is guaranteed winning the race l'or mayor to be held in November. are you voting for," I'd ask people in the last desperate days before the pr1.mary. "Shit man, I'm voting for &arry." too." Somehow Barry who was reported trailing behind Washington and Tucker who running neck and neck emerged as being the nicest guy, the most sincere guy andthe best person fxor the job. 'f'he midnight meeting which he did not attend further strengthned that image. finally, Barry had some of the best things going for him--strong on education and improving the cities terrible schools, strong on gay rights. Early in the he received by the Gertrude Stein Democrats Club a powerful gay organization in the cLty, Unlike the other two candidates, he appe PAGE 9 by Meetball A lecture fro111 th PAGE 10 ---668.., t |
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