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Promoted Gender Roles in Heterosexual Teenage Dating

Permanent Link: http://ncf.sobek.ufl.edu/NCFE004336/00001

Material Information

Title: Promoted Gender Roles in Heterosexual Teenage Dating 1950s and 2000s
Physical Description: Book
Language: English
Creator: Taylor, Scarlett
Publisher: New College of Florida
Place of Publication: Sarasota, Fla.
Creation Date: 2010
Publication Date: 2010

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords: Dating
Teenagers
Seventeen Magazine
1950s
Advice
Gender Roles
Genre: bibliography   ( marcgt )
theses   ( marcgt )
government publication (state, provincial, terriorial, dependent)   ( marcgt )
born-digital   ( sobekcm )
Electronic Thesis or Dissertation

Notes

Abstract: This thesis explores the gendered advice that dating guides and Seventeen Magazine give teenagers regarding heterosexual dating. Data, the points of advice, from four dating guides published between 1950 and 1959, as well as articles from Seventeen Magazine's �Love Life� section from 2007 to 2010, were coded for adherence to heteronormative standards, or the privileging of heterosexuality, a gender binary, and distinct gendered roles. It was found that the 1950s sample adhered strictly to these standards of traditional gender roles. Males were instructed to be active and assertive, while females were the passive receptors of this male action. Over fifty years later, Seventeen Magazine includes both heteronormative and non-heteronormative advice, which at some points contradicts itself. This discrepancy reveals the tension between historically-valued traditional gender roles exhibited in the 1950s documents, and a movement toward gender equality, which reflects some changes in social values as illustrated by the policy successes of women's movements.
Statement of Responsibility: by Scarlett Taylor
Thesis: Thesis (B.A.) -- New College of Florida, 2010
Electronic Access: RESTRICTED TO NCF STUDENTS, STAFF, FACULTY, AND ON-CAMPUS USE
Bibliography: Includes bibliographical references.
Source of Description: This bibliographic record is available under the Creative Commons CC0 public domain dedication. The New College of Florida, as creator of this bibliographic record, has waived all rights to it worldwide under copyright law, including all related and neighboring rights, to the extent allowed by law.
Local: Faculty Sponsor: Brain, David

Record Information

Source Institution: New College of Florida
Holding Location: New College of Florida
Rights Management: Applicable rights reserved.
Classification: local - S.T. 2010 T23
System ID: NCFE004336:00001

Permanent Link: http://ncf.sobek.ufl.edu/NCFE004336/00001

Material Information

Title: Promoted Gender Roles in Heterosexual Teenage Dating 1950s and 2000s
Physical Description: Book
Language: English
Creator: Taylor, Scarlett
Publisher: New College of Florida
Place of Publication: Sarasota, Fla.
Creation Date: 2010
Publication Date: 2010

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords: Dating
Teenagers
Seventeen Magazine
1950s
Advice
Gender Roles
Genre: bibliography   ( marcgt )
theses   ( marcgt )
government publication (state, provincial, terriorial, dependent)   ( marcgt )
born-digital   ( sobekcm )
Electronic Thesis or Dissertation

Notes

Abstract: This thesis explores the gendered advice that dating guides and Seventeen Magazine give teenagers regarding heterosexual dating. Data, the points of advice, from four dating guides published between 1950 and 1959, as well as articles from Seventeen Magazine's �Love Life� section from 2007 to 2010, were coded for adherence to heteronormative standards, or the privileging of heterosexuality, a gender binary, and distinct gendered roles. It was found that the 1950s sample adhered strictly to these standards of traditional gender roles. Males were instructed to be active and assertive, while females were the passive receptors of this male action. Over fifty years later, Seventeen Magazine includes both heteronormative and non-heteronormative advice, which at some points contradicts itself. This discrepancy reveals the tension between historically-valued traditional gender roles exhibited in the 1950s documents, and a movement toward gender equality, which reflects some changes in social values as illustrated by the policy successes of women's movements.
Statement of Responsibility: by Scarlett Taylor
Thesis: Thesis (B.A.) -- New College of Florida, 2010
Electronic Access: RESTRICTED TO NCF STUDENTS, STAFF, FACULTY, AND ON-CAMPUS USE
Bibliography: Includes bibliographical references.
Source of Description: This bibliographic record is available under the Creative Commons CC0 public domain dedication. The New College of Florida, as creator of this bibliographic record, has waived all rights to it worldwide under copyright law, including all related and neighboring rights, to the extent allowed by law.
Local: Faculty Sponsor: Brain, David

Record Information

Source Institution: New College of Florida
Holding Location: New College of Florida
Rights Management: Applicable rights reserved.
Classification: local - S.T. 2010 T23
System ID: NCFE004336:00001


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! P R OM OT E D G E N D E R R OL E S IN H E T E R OS E X U A L T E E N A G E D A T IN G : 1950s A N D 2000s B Y S C A R L E T T T A Y L OR A T he s is S u b mit t e d t o t he D ivis io n o f S o cial S cie nce s N e w C o lle g e o f Flo rid a in p art ial fu lfillme nt o f t he re q u ire me nt s fo r t he d e g re e B ache lo r o f A rt s U nd e r t he s p o ns o rs hip o f D r. D avid B rain S aras o t a, Flo rid a M ay, 2010

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! ii D e d icat e d t o R ache l, w ho m I ho p e w ill ne ve r re ad S e ve nt e e n

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! iii A ckno w le d g e me nt s I w o u ld like t o t hank D rs K at hryn D u ng y and A my R e id fo r t he ir kind ne s s and s u p p o rt o f b o t h my t he s is and ap p licat io n t o law s cho o l I als o o w e a g re at d e al t o D r. M arib e t h C lark, w ho p ains t aking ly re ad and e d it e d my t he s is mu lt ip le t ime s and p ro vid e d me no t o nly w it h mu ch ne e d e d ad vice b u t als o as many cu p s o f t e a as I co u l d e ve r w ant

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! iv T ab le o f C o nt e nt s 1. Int ro d u ct io n...1 2. 1950s : S t ab le H e t e ro no rmat ivit y..17 3. 2000s : P ro g re s s ive C o nfu s io n..39 4. C o nclu s io ns ..62 B ib lio g rap hy.. S e ve nt e e n B ib lio g rap hy..

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1 Int ro d u ct io n T his t he s is co ns t it u t e s my e xaminat io n o f g e nd e r ro le s in t e e nag e d at ing p ro mo t e d b y lit e rat u re d ire ct e d t o w ard t e e nag e rs M y int e re s t in t he d is t inct io n b e t w e e n male and fe male ru le s d e rive d fro m my final ind e p e nd e nt s t u d y p ro je ct w hic h lo o ke d at s e xu al d o u b le s t and ard s in co nt e mp o rary We s t e rn cu lt u re Fo r my p re s e nt p ro je ct I analyze d t he ad vice g ive n t o t e e nag e rs in t he 1950s and 2000s b y t he au t ho rs o f d at ing g u id e s and S e ve nt e e n mag azine re s p e ct ive ly, lo o king s p e cifically at ho w b o ys and g irls w e re g ive n s e p arat e ru le s and ro le s I t he n co mp are d t his ad vice b e t w e e n t he t w o d e cad e s t o d e t e rmine w hat ins t ru ct io ns have las t e d and w hich have chang e d H o w are p ro mo t e d b e havio rs fo r t e e nag e d at ing g e nd e re d and ho w have t he ro le s cha ng e d b e t w e e n t he 1950s and 2000s ? D e fining d e s irab le g e nd e r ro le s in t his co nt e xt is e s s e nt ially d e t e rmining t he mo s t s o cially acce p t e d d e finit io ns o f mas cu linit y, o r w hat co ns t it u t e s b e ing a man, and fe mininit y, b e ing a w o man. T he s e are favo re d as mu t u ally e xclu s ive o p p o s it e s w it h t he re maind e r o f b e havio r b e ing u ng e nd e re d T he mo s t p e rvas ive mo d e l o f mas cu linit y in A me rican s o cie t y is t he w hit e u p p e r/mid d le clas s he t e ro s e xu al, ag g re s s ive and p o w e rfu l arche t yp e (We ave r H ig ht o w e r 2003), p re s crib e d b y s o cial w hit e s u p re macy, clas s is m, and he t e ro no rmat ivit y. S o cio cu lt u rally

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2 co ns t ru ct e d p re s crip t io ns fo r male d e s irab ilit y fo cu s o n w e alt h and s ymb o ls t he re o f (i.e o w ning a car) (L and is 1960: 267), w hile fe mininit y and fe male s e xu alit y d e fine at t ract ive n e s s and d e s irab ilit y o f a w o man as co nt ing e nt o n he r ap p e arance and e s p e cially, u p o n a t hin b o d y s hap e and lo w b o d y w e ig ht (G e rs ho n, G o w e n e t al. 2004). T his co rre s p o nd s w it h t he e vo lu t io nary t he o ry o f at t ract io n, w hich s t at e s t hat male s are mo re at t rac t e d t o p hys ically at t ract ive fe male s t han le s s at t ract ive o ne s b e cau s e t he y are mo re like ly t o p ro d u ce child re n w ho w ill s u rvive and have t he ir o w n child re n, and fe male s are at t ract e d t o male s w ho d is p lay s ymb o ls o f w e alt h, as t he y s ho w e vid e nce o f b e ing ab le t o p ro vid e fo r o ffs p ring (B u s s and B arne s 1988). T his is ho w e ve r, u nd o u b t e d ly s o cially p e rp e t u at e d b e yo nd t he me re influ e nce o f b io lo g y, as s t and ard s fo r at t ract ive ne s s and w e alt h chang e T e e nag e g e nd e r ro le s in t he co nt e xt o f ro mant ic re lat io ns h ip s are hard ly a p o p u lar t o p ic fo r A me rican acad e mics in t he 1950s o r p o s t 2000. Ve ry fe w s t u d ie s w e re co nd u ct e d in t he s e t ime p e rio d s ab o u t w hat ad o le s ce nt s b e lie ve make s a g o o d d at e ho w t o b e have o n a d at e o r o t he r p art s o f d at ing s crip t s 1950s s t u d ie s ab o u t t e e nag e d at ing fo cu s mu ch mo re he avily o n t he ne w p he no me no n o f g o ing s t e ad y," p art icu larly t he b e havio rs and mo t ivat io ns as s o ciat e d w it h it (C ris t 1953; H e rman 1955; L and is 1960; P o ffe nb e rg e r 1964). P o s t 2000, lit e rat u re ab o u t t e e nag e rs fo cu s e s o n p e e r g ro u p s and d at ing vio le nce I e xp and e d my lit e rat u re re vie w b e yo nd t he s e t w o d e cad e s in o rd e r t o le arn ab o u t t he e nco u rag e me nt o f g e nd e r ro le s in d at ing o r s e xu al t e e nag e rs b y

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3 b o t h p e e rs and me d ia. A lt ho u g h mu ch o f t his lit e rat u re d o e s no t re fe r s p e cifically t o g e nd e r ro le s in d at ing info rmat io n can b e infe rre d fro m it s co ve rag e o f t o p ics like t e e n ro le s in a s e xu al co nt e xt Wo rk b y Jo hn C ris t R o b e rt H e rman, P au l L and is and T ho mas P o ffe nb e rg e r s ho w s t hat d at ing and g o ing s t e ad y in t he 1950s w e re o ft e n a s ymb o l o f s t at u s rat he r t han a w ay t o find a marriag e p art ne r. T e e nag e rs w o u ld o ft e n e ng ag e in d at ing b e cau s e it w as co mmo n and e xp e ct e d o f t he m, and as in t he cas e o f g o ing s t e ad y, fu nct io ne d as s o cial s e cu rit y (o ne w o u ld have a d at e fo r al l imp o rt ant e ve nt s ), rat he r t han re fle ct ing any re al affe ct io n fo r t he ir d at e (C ris t 1953; P o ffe nb e rg e r 1964). T e e nag e rs w ho e ng ag e d in e xclu s ive re lat io ns hip s w e re s e e n as mo re p o p u lar b y t he ir p e e rs t han t ho s e w ho p laye d t he fie ld o r rare ly d at e d (H e rman 1955: 38). A n e xp lanat io n fo r t his fo cu s o n t he me chanics and mo t ivat io ns o f g o ing s t e ad y in 1950s re s e arch co u ld b e t o re as s u re ad u lt s and any p are nt s re ad ing t hat t he p ract ice w as no t u s e d as a p re cu rs o r t o marriag e as it w as s o d ive rg e nt fro m t h e p o p u lar d at ing p ract ice s in t he 1930s and 40s (B aile y 1988; P o ffe nb e rg e r 1964). T he co u p ling o f s o cial ine rt ia w it h crit ical co ns cio u s ne s s and re s is t ance as p re s e nt e d b y E rika S u mme rs E ffle r, o ffe rs an e xp lanat io n fo r w hy d o cu me nt s like S e ve nt e e n mag a zine co nt inu e t o d is s e minat e ad vice t hat ad he re s t o he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s t ho s e t hat co nt rib u t e t o t he no rmalizat io n and p rivile g ing o f he t e ro s e xu alit y (K it zing e r 2005) and t he e ns u ing t w o d is t inct g e nd e rs and e xp e ct e d ro le s t he re in, in t he t rad it io n o f 1950s d at ing g u id e s b u t

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4 als o w hy t he y have b e e n ab le t o b e co me mo re p ro g re s s ive in s o me ins t ance s re je ct ing he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s S u mme rs E ffle r s p e cifically ap p lie s he r p ro p o s e d t he o ry o f fe minis t re s is t ance (2002: 41) t o t rad it io nal fe male s u b o rd inat io n. In he r e xp lanat io n o f s o cial ine rt ia, S u mme rs E ffle r lo o ks t o R and all C o llins s int e ract io n rit u al t he o ry and N o rb e rt Wile y s mo d e l o f t he s e lf. C o llins s int e ract io n rit u al t he o ry s u s t ains t hat p e o p le are mo t ivat e d t o fe e l as hig h a le ve l o f e nt hu s ias m, p e rs o nal s t re ng t h, s o cial co nne ct e d ne s s and w illing ne s s t o init iat e int e ract io n as t he y can (2002: 42), all o f w hich make u p t he ir e mo t io nal e ne rg y. T his e mo t io nal e ne rg y can b e incre as e d t hro u g h s o lid it ary int e ract io ns o r t ho s e t hat b u ild e ne rg y b y cau s ing g ro u p co he s ive ne s s and b e lo ng ing o r p o w e r int e ract io ns t ho s e in w hich e mo t io nal e ne rg y is t rans fe rre d fro m s o me o ne le s s p o w e rfu l t o s o me o ne mo re p o w e rfu l. P e o p le t e nd t o s e e k o u t t he s o rt s o f int e ract io ns t hat le ave t he m w it h t he m o s t e mo t io nal e ne rg y. In p o w e r int e ract io ns t ho s e w ho have t he mo s t p o w e r, fo r e xamp le in a s o cie t y t hat s u s t ains he t e ro no rmat ivit y, male s g ain t he mo s t e mo t io nal e ne rg y and s o are re lu ct ant t o g ive u p t he ir p o s it io ns (S u mme rs E ffle r 2002). P e o p le cre at e a re fe re nce g ro u p b as e d o n ho w t he y g ain o r lo s e e mo t io nal e ne rg y b y b e ing p art o r no t p art o f s p e cific g ro u p s S u mme rs E ffle r s fo llo w ing e xamp le illu s t rat e s t his in t e rms o f le arning g e nd e r ro le s : If a lit t le g irl is t o ld t hat s he canno t p lay w it h t he b o ys b e cau s e s he is a g irl, o ve r t ime he r chain o f rit u al int e ract io ns may re ve al t hat it is ad vant ag e o u s t o id e nt ify as a g irl and le arn t he s o cial ru le s t hat p e rt ain t o g irls T his id e nt ificat io n can p ro t e ct t he g irl fro m fu t u re e xp e rie nce s o f re je ct io n and hu miliat io n as s o ciat e d w it h no t kno w ing t he s o cial e xp e ct at io ns fo r g irls (2002: 43).

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5 Int e rp e rs o nal int e ract io ns can cau s e a p e rs o n t o b o t h g ain and lo s e e mo t io nal e ne rg y, and t he d e t e rminat io n o f t he o u t co me as p o s it ive o r ne g at ive is w hiche ve r amo u nt is larg e r (S u mme rs E ffle r 2002). T he lit t le g irl in t he e xamp le may lo s e e ne rg y b y no t p art icip at ing in an act ivit y t hat s he e njo ys b u t may g ain e ve n mo re b y b e having w it hin t he g u id e line s o f he r g e nd e r ro le w hich s he has le arne d is favo rab le T o fu rt he r e xp lain s o cial ine rt ia S u mme rs E ffle r e mp lo ys N o rb e rt Wile y s mo d e l o f t he s e lf, w hich s ays t hat e mo t io nal e ne rg y can b e cre at e d t hro u g h int e rnal int e ract io ns b e t w e e n t he me (imme d iat e int e re s t s ), t he I (t hat w hich d e t e rmine s if an o u t co me i s like ly t o b e favo rab le ) and p e rmane nt vis it o rs (influ e nt ial id e as o ne le arns in t he ir life ) (2002: 44). T he ag re e me nt o f t he s e t hre e le ad s t o t he g re at e s t incre as e in e mo t io nal e ne rg y; t he re fo re if t rad it io nal g e nd e r ro le s are p art icu larly influ e nt ia l t o a p e rs o n, and t he y act acco rd ing t o t he m and p e rce ive a favo rab ly o u t co me t he y w ill co nt inu e b e having in acco rd ance w it h t he m. Wo me n in p art icu lar may p e rp e t u at e t he ir s u b o rd inat e p o s it io n b e cau s e t he y t e nd t o id e nt ify mo re w it h t he male s in t he ir l ive s t han w it h w o me n as a g ro u p ; t he re fo re t he y have s u ch an inve s t me nt in maint aining t he s e re lat io ns hip s t hat t he y int e rnally d e al w it h t he lo s s o f e mo t io nal e ne rg y re s u lt ing fro m t he ir p lace in t his g e nd e r hie rarchy rat he r t han ind u lg ing in d e viant e mo t io ns (S u mme rs E ffle r 2002: 45). D e viant e mo t io ns are t ho s e t hat co u ld cau s e s o cial co nflict D is ru p t io n o f s o cial ine rt ia and chang e aris e fro m re fu s ing t o manag e t his

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6 lo s s int e rnally, and ins t e ad re je ct ing a s u b o rd inat e p o s it io n. Fo rming a g ro u p t hat ag re e s w it h t his re je ct io n co nt rib u t e s t o t he cre at io n o f a co lle ct ive id e nt it y, and s o lid arit y aro u nd t he id e a, incre as ing e mo t io nal e ne rg y (S u mme rs E ffle r 2002). Fo rg ing a co lle ct ive id e nt it y as w o me n, o ve r t he p re vio u s id e nt ificat io n w it h male s is cr u cial in chang ing co nd it io ns fo r w o me n ins t e ad o f maint aining inve s t me nt in male d o minance It is a ne w s o lid it ary int e ract io n; it t e lls me mb e rs t hat t he ir d e viant e mo t io ns are s hare d and no t d e viant in t he g ro u p Fo rming a s e ns e o f inju s t ice ab o u t s u b o rd inat io n cau s e d b y a ne ce s s ary chang e in w o rld vie w t hat s hift s b lame o f t he co nd it io n (s u b o rd inat io n) fro m int e rnal t o o u t w ard C rit ical co ns cio u s ne s s incre as e d aw are ne s s o f t he s e lf in t his ne w co g nit ive frame in w hich t he d o minant cu lt u re is no t an ac t io n p ro hib it ing t hre at is re q u ire d t o s p u r act io n ag ains t t he d o minant cu lt u re (S u mme r E ffle r 2002: 51, 3). One mu s t act co ns cio u s ly w it h t he ir id e als in mind co ns t ant ly. C hang e s are mo s t like ly t o o ccu r in s it u at io ns w he re s u b o rd inat e ind ivid u als w il l re ce ive e mo t io nal e ne rg y b y o p p o s ing t he s t at u s q u o Fo r ins t ance g irls w it h fe minis t mo t he rs are like ly t o fe e l s o lid arit y in fe minis t g ro u p s and s o d o no t s u ffe r an e mo t io nal e ne rg y d e cre as e fro m re s is t ing t he d o minant cu lt u re s s t at u s q u o C haris m at ic le ad e rs co nt rib u t e t o chang e b y rais ing t he e mo t io nal e ne rg y o f t he ir fo llo w e rs (S u mme rs E ffle r 2002). S o cial ine rt ia is cau s e d b y re info rce me nt o f ce rt ain b e havio rs and id e nt it ie s in b o t h int e rnal and int e rp e rs o nal int e ract io ns C hang e like t hat w hich s hift e d t he s t at u s q u o and e nab le d S e ve nt e e n mag azine t o g ive s o me ad vice t hat d o e s no t ad he re t o he t e ro no rmat ivit y, o nly o ccu rs w he n g ro u p s o f p e o p le

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7 w it h s imilar d e viant e mo t io ns o rg anize in s o me w ay, s hift ing t he ir w o rld vie w t o o ne t hat p ro mo t e s a ne w id e nt it y and crit ical co ns cio u s ne s s a ne w w ay o f int e rp re t ing and re act ing t o o ne s e xp e rie nce M e mb e rs o f A me rican s o cie t y g e ne rally re ly o n he t e ro no rmat ivit y as a s e t o f g u id e line s fo r s o cial e xp e ct at io n and s e xu al b e havio r b e cau s e it fo llo w s t he ru le s o f a p at riarchal s o cie t y t hat is t he s t at u s q u o Fo r t he p u rp o s e o f t his p ap e r, I w ill u s e H ird and Jacks o n's (2001) fo u r as s u mp t io ns t hat s u s t ain he t e ro no rmat ivit y, a co nce p t w it h many face t s as my crit e ria fo r d e t e rmining he t e ro no rmat ivit y in my d at a. T he s e as s u mp t io ns w hich I e xp lain b e lo w are : 1. H e t e ro s e xu alit y is b io lo g ically d e s irab le 2. M ale s p e rs is t e nt ly d e s ire s e x 3. M ale s init iat e s e xu al act ivit y 4. S e xu al d e s ire is alw ays d ire ct e d t o t he o u t co me o f int e rco u rs e and e jacu lat io n E ach o f t he s e as s u mp t io ns can b e as s o ciat e d w it h larg e r me aning s o u t s id e o f s t rict ly s e xu al act ivit ie s and int o int e rg e nd e r int e ract io n. T he firs t as s u mp t io n can b e co ns t ru e d t o me an t hat b io lo g ical d e s irab ilit y me a ns no rmalit y" and t he re fo re s o cial d e s irab ilit y" t o t ho s e p art icip ant s in t he s o cie t y. T he s e co nd no rmalize s s e xu al d e s ire fo r male s b u t no t fe male s In co nt ras t fe male s are mo re int e re s t e d in ro mant ic, no n s e xu al act ivit y and co mp anio ns hip in he t e ro s e xu al re lat io ns hip s T he t hird can b e ap p lie d t o s it u at io ns t hat are no t o ve rt ly s e xu al, fo r e xamp le t o me an t hat me n init iat e ro mant ic act ivit y t hat co u ld

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8 co nce ivab ly le ad t o s o me s o rt o f s e xu al co nt act like d at e s and t hat t he ir p e rs is t e nt d e s ire fo r s e x is a mo t ivat ing fact o r in t he ir invo lve me nt in and init iat io n o f he t e ro s e xu al re lat io ns hip s T he final p re s e nt s s e x and d at ing as male p le as u re ce nt ric, w it h t he fe male ro le b e ing a cau s e o f t his p le as u re A fe male 's s t at u s is t ie d t o he r ab ilit y t o p le as e a male w hile ab id ing b y t he afo re me nt io ne d co nd it io ns T he lit e rat u re s ho w s t hat if he t e ro no rmat ivit y re q u ire s male s t o init iat e s e xu al act ivit y, fe male s w ho init iat e o r e xp re s s s e xu al d e s ire are in vio lat io n o f t he s t at u s q u o In mid d le and hi g h s cho o l, w he re t he re is a g re at s o cial e mp has is o n fit t ing in and s imilarit y t o p e e rs d e viat io n fro m a no rm can le ad t o lab e ling w it h d e ro g at o ry name s and o s t racizat io n (C hamb e rs T inckne ll & Van L o o n 2004), an at t e mp t t o p re ve nt a chang e in s o cial s t an d ard s B o t h b o ys and g irls can e xhib it b e havio rs and at t it u d e s t hat e nd ang e r t he s t rict s o cial co d e s o f he t e ro no rmat ivit y in s cho o ls G irls can d o t his p rimarily t hro u g h t he e xp re s s io n o f d e s ire w hich t he o re t ically s ho u ld o nly b e e xp re s s e d b y male s in a lmo s t any nu mb e r o f w ays inclu d ing ve rb ally, b y e ng ag ing in cas u al act ivit y, o r carrying co nd o ms (Fas u la, M ille r & Wie ne r 2007). B y vio lat ing t he s e t s t and ard t he s e g irls are b rand e d b y b o t h male and fe male p e e rs as s lu t s o r o t he r d e ro g at io ns M id d le and hig h s cho o ls are ho t b e d s fo r he t e ro no rmat ive at t it u d e s t hat p ro mo t e d o u b le s t and ard s R e s e arch o ve r t ime has g e ne rally maint aine d t hat fe male s in d at ing re lat io ns hip s are e xp e ct e d t o b e co mp arat ive ly p as s ive and p u re in co nt ras t t o

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9 t he male s act ive ro le L and is (1960) fo u nd t hat 80% o f t e e nag e g irls fe lt g u ilt y aft e r p e t t ing w hile o nly 25% o f b o ys fe lt t he s ame p ro ving a g re at e r s t ig mat izat io n o f fe male s e xu al act ivit y t han male (267). In re lat io ns hip s g irls are e xp e ct e d t o b e re s p o ns ib le fo r d e ve lo p ing and maint aining int imat e e mo t io nal co nne ct io ns (C hamb e rs T inckne ll & Van L o o n 2004: 406). B o ys are no t e xp e ct e d t o co nt rib u t e e mo t io nally w it ho u t fe minine g u id ance b e cau s e acco rd ing t o he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s t he y s ho u ld b e t o o p re o ccu p ie d w it h p hys ical d e s ire G irls o n t he o t he r hand mu s t s e xu ally re s t rain and p u t t he ir e ne rg y int o d o ing re lat io ns hip s and le arning t o re ad me n and ap p ro p riat e ly re s p o nd t o t he s e male d e s ire s (C hamb e rs T inckne ll & Van L o o n 2004:406). Fo r ins t ance in a re lat io ns hip b o ys co ns id e r it t he g irl's re s p o ns ib ilit y t o d e t e rmine ho w far a co u p le s ho u ld g o (C hamb e rs T inckne ll & Van L o o n 2004; R o s e and Frie ze 1989). T he re are t w o s o cial imp licat io ns t o t his p art icu lar find ing T he firs t is t hat g ive n t he o p p o rt u nit y, e ve ry b o y w o u ld have int e rco u rs e imme d iat e ly and o ft e n in a re lat io ns hip T he s e co nd imp licat io n is t hat w hat e ve r s e xu al e xp e rie nce a g irl has s he w ant s and is s o le ly re s p o ns ib le fo r. P e e rs can call t he s e g irls s lu t s and o t he r d e me aning name s b e cau s e t he y d e viat e fro m he t e ro no rmat ivit y and mu s t have s ho w n s o me s e xu al d e s ire T he ro le o f t he d at ing fe male co nt inu e s t o b e t hat o f a p as s ive g at e ke e p e r, w it h a ce rt ain e mp has is o n p u rit y. T he re s p o ns ive ne s s as p e ct t he w ay g irls are t au g ht t hat t he y are t o re s p o nd t o male d e s ire is t he hallmark o f fe male s e xu alit y u nd e r t he influ e nce o f he t e ro no rmat ivit y and s e xu al d o u b le s t and ard s It is p e rce ive d as inap p ro p riat e if

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10 a g irl is o ve rt ly d e s iring and s e e king s e x, e ve n w it hin a re lat io ns hip Wit hin a mo no g amo u s re lat io ns hip ho w e ve r, it is e s s e nt ial t hat it is as s u me d t hat s he is re act ing t o and p ro vid ing fo r he r b o yfrie nd 's d e s ire fo r t he s ake o f t he s o cial ine rt ia t hat s u p p o rt s he t e ro no rmat ivit y (C hamb e rs T inckne ll & Van L o o n 2004). Whe n o n d at e s fe male s are e xp e ct e d t o as s u me a s u b o rd inat e ro le b y b e ing allu ring facilit at ing co nve rs at io n and limit ing s e xu al act ivit y, w hile male s are e xp e ct e d t o init iat e p lan, p ay fo r t he d at e and are t he s e xu al ag g re s s o rs (R o s e and Frie ze 1989). Fe male s crip t s invo lve ag o nizing o ve r ap p e arance b e ing p le as ant as king t he male ab o u t hims e lf, and d e nying kis s e s and s e x (e arly s crip t s d id no t e ve n me nt io n s e x, limit ing co u p le s at no kis s ). M ale s invo lve ve ry s p e cific act io ns like s e at d at e ," and p ay fo r d a t e ," as w e ll as ag g re s s ive o ne s like as k fo r d at e and init iat e p hys ical co nt act (R o s e and Frie ze 1989: 260 4). E xp licit ly ad he ring t o he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s t he s e s crip t s p lace g irls in a p as s ive ro le and b o ys in an act ive ro le In re s p o ns e t o le s s inhib it ing g e nd e r ro le s in g e ne ral s o cie t y in t he lat e 20 t h ce nt u ry as co mp are d t o t he 1950s t e e nag e g irls are s t ill e nco u rag e d t o d o almo s t w hat e ve r t he y can t o acq u ire and ke e p a b o yfrie nd ; ho w e ve r, s ince fe male s are allo w e d mo re fre e d o ms it is almo s t le s s ne ce s s ary fo r a b o y t o e ng ag e in t he t rad it io nal e arly s t e p s in a re lat io ns hip in o rd e r t o achie ve t hat co ve t e d s e xu al e xp e rie nce w hich in a s e ns e acce nt u at e s t rad it io nal g e nd e r ro le s (H ird and Jacks o n 2001) b y e nco u rag ing fe male man p le as ing and t he re fo re a s u b s e rvie nt ro le S he mu s t re main p le as ant w hile he t ake s act io n, ju s t as in t he

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11 1950s While b o ys are co mfo rt ab le w it h and e nco u rag e d t o t alk ab o u t t he ir s e xu al co nq u e s t s as e vid e nce d b y t he b o y in t he clas s ro o m w ho b o w e d d u ring an e xe rci s e in w hich a hyp o t he t ical male had five s e x p art ne rs (C hamb e rs T inckne ll & Van L o o n 2004), w o me n e xp e rie nce ve ry re al limit s o n w hat [t he y] can s ay ab o u t t he ir s e xu alit y w it ho u t facing s o cial co ns e q u e nce (M cH u g h 2006: 366). If a fe male had s aid s o me t h ing e q u ivale nt t o t he afo re me nt io ne d male s g ive he ad no t o nly w o u ld t he e p is o d e b e mo re s ho cking b u t als o u nfe minine b e cau s e fe male s e xu alit y is d e fine d b y co nce p t u al he t e ro no rmat ivit y as re p re s s e d (H ird & Jacks o n 2001). A d d it io nally, a fe male d e mand ing o ral s e x o f a male d o e s no t imp ly t he ine vit ab ilit y o f e jacu lat io n t he p u rp o s e o f s e xu al act ivit y acco rd ing t o t he as s u mp t io ns p u t fo rt h b y H ird and Jacks o n (2001). S o me chang e ho w e ve r, has o ccu rre d o ve r t he lat t e r half o f t he 20t h ce nt u ry. T he me d ian ag e o f fe male s at firs t s e xu al e xp e rie nce d e cre as e d b y almo s t t w o ye ars fro m t he 1950s t o t he 1970s in t he U S (ab o u t 18.5 t o 16.5), w hile t hat fo r male s d e cre as e d b y ab o u t a ye ar (17.4 t o 16.5) (T e it le r 2002: 137), ind icat ing a lib e ralizat io n in s e x r u le s e s p e cially fo r g irls G irls d o no t have t o maint ain as ag g re s s ive a ro le as g at e ke e p e r o ve r t ime b u t t he re is lit t le e mp irical e vid e nce t hat t he y are s o cially p e rmit t e d t o b e s e xu al ag g re s s o rs w it ho u t re ce iving ne g at ive lab e ls fro m t he ir p e e rs (C ar p e nt e r 1998). T he mo s t fre q u e nt fo rm o f g e nit al co nt act b e t w e e n t e e nag e rs is fe llat io (R e me z 2000). It allo w s g irls t o co nvince t he ms e lve s t hat t he y are b e ing ab s t ine nt and t he re fo re re t ain t he ir

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12 re p u t at io ns w hile s t ill g iving in t o t he s o cially acce p t ab le male d e s ire fo r s e xu al s t imu lat io n (R e me z 2000). T ho u g h t he y are mo re like ly t o ad mit t o s e xu al b e havio r in lat e r d e cad e s g irls mu s t s t ill maint ain s o me s o rt o f at le as t t e chnical p u rit y. While mo re e g alit arian g e nd e r ro le s e xis t in t e e nag e d at ing re lat io ns hip s no w t han in t he 1950s t he lit e rat u re re ve als t hat s o me act io ns like ag g re s s io n (a t e rm u s e d re g u larly in 1950s d at ing g u id e s in re fe re nce t o no n p as s ive mas cu line g irls ), are s t ill hig hly g e nd e re d S u b ve rt ing t ho s e ro le s is s o cially ill ad vis e d e s p e cially in co nfo rmis t t e e nag e cu lt u re METH OD M y init ial p lan w as t o analyze e xclu s ive ly S e ve nt e e n mag azine is s u e s fro m t he 1950s and 2000s as it w as firs t p u b lis he d in 1944. T he s e o ld is s u e s ho w e ve r, are no t p ract ically acce s s ib le T hi s lack o f acce s s p ro mp t e d me t o find ano t he r s o u rce fo r analyzing t he d at ing e xp e ct at io ns p u t u p o n t e e nag e rs in t he 1950s w hich I fo u nd in e t iq u e t t e /d at ing g u id e s I re vie w e d t he s e s o u rce s fo r g e nd e re d ad vice t o t e e nag e rs w hich I o p e rat io nally d e fine d a s me t ho d s t o at t ract t he o p p o s it e s e x, ho w t o maint ain me mb e rs hip o f o ne 's o w n s e x (w hat is d e fine d e xp licit ly as mas cu line o r fe minine ), and w ays in w hich t o b e have w it h o r in re g ard t o a d at ing p art ne r. I t he n co d e d t he s e d at a fo r t he ir ag re e me nt w it h H ird and Jacks o n's d e finit io n o f he t e ro no rmat ivit y, and imp licit ly d e rive d cat e g o rie s fo r e ach t ime p e rio d int o

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13 w hich t he s e d at a co u ld b e arrang e d Fo r t he 1950s t he s e cat e g o rie s w e re mas cu linit y/fe mininit y, d e s irab ilit y, p o lit e s s e /ru le s s t at u s o f d at ing and s e xu alit y. Fo r t he 2000s t he s e cat e g o rie s w e re s t at u s w hat b o ys like w hat b o ys hat e co mmu nicat io n, g o o d /b ad b o yfrie nd s d o ing t he w o rk, and p hys icalit y. T he cat e g o rie s d iffe re d b e cau s e t he d at a b e t w e e n t he t w o d e cad e s d iffe re d I t he n analyze d t his d at a fo r it s info rmat io n ab o u t g e nd e r ro le s and o ve rall ad he re nce t o he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s T he re is p re ce d e nt fo r u s ing b o t h d at ing g u id e s and mag azine s t o d e t e rmine s o cial s crip t s R o s e and Frie ze (1989) u s e d e ig ht d at ing g u id e s fro m 1957 t o 1983 t o le arn w hat act io ns w e re his t o rically g e nd e re d and ho w b o ys and g irls w e re e xp e ct e d t o b e have o n a firs t d at e C arp e nt e r (1998) analyze d w hat s crip t s S e ve nt e e n p ro mo t e d fo r ro mance and s e xu alit y b e t w e e n t he 1970s and t he 1990s find ing t hat t he mag azine e nco u rag e d b o t h fe male ag e ncy and p as s ivit y. I ackno w le d g e ho w e ve r, t hat I am no t s t u d ying g e nd e r ro le s t hat t e e nag e rs in A me rican s o cie t y act u ally co nfo rm t o ; I am s t u d ying t he ro le s t hat d o cu me nt s have p ro mo t e d T his s t u d y is s ig nificant b e cau s e it analyze s ho w t he me s s ag e s d ire ct e d t o w ard t e e nag e rs and t he re fo re s o me cu lt u ral valu e s have chang e d o ve r t ime T his may allo w fo r p re d ict io n o f ho w t he y w ill chang e in t he fu t u re Fo r t he p u rp o s e o f t his e xe rcis e I w ill b e u s ing a g e nd e r b inary i n my w rit ing as s u me d ly b as e d o n s e x. M o s t s t u d ie s no t e xp licit ly fo cu s e d o n g e nd e r id e nt ificat io n le ave t he cis g e nd e re d id e nt ificat io n, o r t he co ng ru it y b e t w e e n o ne s

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14 b irt h s e x and g e nd e r e xp re s s io n, o f p art icip ant s invis ib le and t he re fo re t o b e as s u me d b y t he re ad e r; 1950s d at ing g u id e s and 2000s S e ve nt e e n L o ve L ife art icle s d o no t me nt io n t rans g e nd e r is s u e s T ho u g h t he g e nd e r b inary is p ro b le mat ic in act u al s o cie t y (as it limit s ind ivid u als in s e lf e xp re s s io n b y co nfining t he m t o o ne s e t o f g e nd e re d s t and ard s ) fo r t he p u rp o s e o f t his p ap e r male b o y, man w ill as s u me b io lo g ical and s e lf id e nt ifie d male ne s s w hile fe male g irl, w o man" w ill as s u me b io lo g ical and s e lf id e nt ifie d fe male ne s s T his is s imp ly b e cau s e t he s o u rce s u s e d u t ilize t he s e t e rms in s u ch a w ay t hat d o e s no t ackno w le d g e anyt hing b u t a g e nd e r b inary; ho w e ve r, t he t e rms mas cu linit y and fe mininit y are mo re flu id t ho u g h t he d e s irab ilit y o f hig h le ve ls o f s o cially d e fine d mas cu linit y and fe mininit y fo r male s and fe male s re s p e ct ive ly, is e xt e ns ive ly ackno w le d g e d A n are a, o t he r t han cis g e nd e re d id e nt it y, in w hich invis ib ilit y s p aw ne d b y p rivile g e is re le vant t o t e e nag e d at ing is race S t u d ie s o n t he s u b je ct in t he 1950s d o no t me nt io n race at all, b u t d u e t o t he p rivile g e d le is u re clas s d e s crib e d o ne as s u me s w hit e ne s s M o re re ce nt s t u d ie s are mo re ap t t o d e s crib e t he ir s amp le s racially, b u t o nly w he n mino rit ie s are invo lve d w he t he r t he y are inclu d e d w it h w hit e p art icip ant s o r t he s t u d y e xclu s ive ly u s e s p art icip ant s o f co lo r T he as s u mp t io n o f an invis ib le race b e ing w hit e is p ro b le mat ic in it s e lf, b u t g ive n re s e arch t re nd s no t u nfo u nd e d I w ill no t s p e cifically b e s t u d ying t e e nag e rs o f co lo r, as it w o u ld g ive me le s s o p p o rt u nit y fo r co mp aris o n; ho w e ve r, o ne p lace t his is an is s u e is in my co nt e nt analys is o f co nt e mp o rary S e ve nt e e n mag azine s

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15 While I can s o me w hat re as o nab ly as s u me t hat e t iq u e t t e b o o ks and vid e o s in t he 1950s w e re t arg e t e d t o w ard w hit e t e e nag e rs g ive n t he au t ho rs and act o rs w hit e ne s s t he s ame canno t b e s aid o f S e ve nt e e n While t e e nag e g irls b e lo ng ing t o racial and e t hnic mino rit y g ro u p s are mo re like ly t o re ad mag azine s t arg e t e d t o ad u lt w o me n o f t he ir race o r e t hnicit y (M ilkie 1999), it is u nlike ly t hat S e ve nt e e n is cu rre nt ly re ad o nly b y w hit e t e e nag e rs ; fu rt he rmo re g irls w rit ing in d o no t s u p p ly t he ir race o r e t hnicit y, making it imp o s s ib le t o d is ce rn. R ace is re le vant t o t e e nag e d at ing b e cau s e w hile t he re are d iffe re nt e t hnicit ie s w it hin t he he ad ing o f w hit e ne s s ," racial and e t hnic mino rit ie s a re mo re like ly t o b e re lig io u s and have mo re cu lt u rally d e fine d g e nd e r ro le s fo r ad u lt s at le as t at t his t ime (Fas u la, M ille r and Wie ne r 2007). C hap t e r 2 p re s e nt s e vid e nce fro m 1950s d at ing g u id e s fo r t he e nfo rce d s e p arat e g e nd e r ro le s in t e e nag e ro mant i c re lat io ns hip s w hile chap t e r 3 lo o ks at t ho s e fo r S e ve nt e e n mag azine fro m 2007 2009. M y co nclu s io n e xamine s ho w d e s p it e s o cial chang e t he s e p ro mo t e d ro le s have in s o me w ays re maine d t he s ame

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16 2 1950s : S t ab le H e t e ro no rmat ivit y T he his t o ry o f t e e nag e d at ing in t he U nit e d S t at e s b e g ins in t he 1920s w he n it t u rne d a fo rme rly p rivat e rit u al int o a p u b lic o ne C o u rt s hip o f t he 19t h and e arlie s t 20t h ce nt u ry t o o k p lace ins id e t he ho me chap e ro ne d b y p are nt s w hile d at ing b ro u g ht co u p le s o u t int o u rb an s p ace s In p art t his w as fo r t he s ake o f p ract icalit y, as in t he g ro w ing u rb an are as fe w e r familie s had larg e p arlo rs in w hich t he y co u ld e nt e rt ain a d au g ht e r's s u it o r. T his ne w p o p u lar p ract ice le d t o chang e s in t he w ay t e e nag e s t at u s w as co ns t ru ct e d T he mo re d at e s a p e rs o n had t he mo re p o p u lar t he y b e came in t he e ye s o f t he ir p e e rs T he w ays in w hich t he s e d at e s w e re at t aine d w as hig hly g e nd e re d : b o ys had t o have o u t w ard s ig ns o f s t at u s b as e d o n w e alt h, like a car, w hile g irls ju s t had t o b e s e e n w i t h t he s e d e s irab le b o ys ; t he s e me ans co mb ine d w it h t he d e s irab ilit y o f many d at e s cre at e d a d at ing e nviro nme nt b as e d o n co mp e t it io n (B aile y 1988; L and is 1960). D at e s had t o b e vis ib le and w it h nu me ro u s p art ne rs in o rd e r t o co nt rib u t e t o a p e rs o n's s t at u s amo ng t he ir p e e rs D at ing o nly o ne p e rs o n w as p e rce ive d as a s u re fire w ay fo r a p e rs o n t o b e co me b o ring b e cau s e he o r s he no lo ng e r had t o make an e ffo rt t o at t ract ne w d at e s P o s t Wo rld War II, t e e nag e p o p u larit y, e s p e cially t hat o f g irls b e came b as e d o n having o ne p e rs o n t o g o w it h t o imp o rt ant fu nct io ns p e rhap s t o cre at e s e cu rit y in a t ime o f p o s t w ar ins t ab ilit y (B aile y 1988).

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17 A ft e r a w ar d u ring w hich w o me n had t ake n o n t rad it io nally mas cu line ro le s in A me rica d u e t o a s carcit y o f me n at ho me a s hift had t o o ccu r t o re cre at e t he p re vio u s co mfo rt ab le ro le s fo r t he s o ld ie rs re t u rning ho me S ince me n w e re s t ill s e e n as ne e d ing e mp lo yme nt mo re t han w o me n, mid d le clas s w o me n had t o re t u rn ho me t o make w ay fo r t he ir hu s b and s in t he w o rkp lace G irls and b o ys w ho had s e e n t he ir mo t he rs w o rk in t he ab s e nce s o f t he ir fat he rs ne e d e d t o le arn t he rig ht g e nd e r ru le s and t hu s e t iq u e t t e b o o ks s t e p p e d in t o t e ach t he m (B aile y 1988: 97 8). T ho u g h p re s e nt e d as s imp le manne rs t he s e g u id e s s ho w e d b o ys and g i rls t he b e havio rs as s o ciat e d w it h t rad it io nal mas cu linit y and fe mininit y, s ince fe w e r e xp licit e xamp le s w e re availab le fo r t he m in t he ir o w n live s d u ring t he w ar, and imme d iat e ly t he re aft e r d u ring t he s hift b ack t o t rad it io nal ro le s Fo r t his p ro je ct I a nalyze d t he co nt e nt o f fo u r life o r d at ing g u id e s fo r t e e nag e rs : D at e D at a b y B e ve rly B rand o w (1954), Yo u r H ap p ie s t Ye ars b y D ick C lark (1959), Jo yce Jacks o n's G u id e t o D at ing b y H e le n L o u is e C ro u s e (1955) and Fact s o f L ife and L o ve b y E ve lyn D u vall (1950) T he s e b o o ks are u s e fu l b e cau s e t he y are e xamp le s o f t he g e nd e re d ad vice g ive n t o t e e nag e rs in t he 1950s B e ve rly B rand o w 's D at e D at a is w rit t e n fo r t e e nag e rs o f e it he r g e nd e r, and in t he s t yle t yp ical o f t he s e g u id e s is co nve rs at io nal and w rit t e n w it h t he d is t inct t o ne o f an ad u lt t rying t o b e hip w it h t e e nag e rs Wit hin it s t e mp o ral co nt e xt it w as ce rt ainly le s s aw kw ard T he g u id e is d ivid e d int o nu me ro u s q u ick, e as y t o re ad s e ct io ns o f at mo s t fo u r p ag e s e ach. T his is u s e fu l b e cau s e it is

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18 e s s e nt ia lly an ave rag e d at ing g u id e like A b ig ail Van B u re n s D e ar T e e n A g e r (1959), Virg inia We s t e rve lt s G e t t ing A lo ng in t he T e e n A g e Wo rld (1957), and o t he rs w hich I d id no t analyze b e cau s e I co ns id e r B rand o w s g u id e t o b e re p re s e nt at ive o f t his t yp e D ick C lark's Yo u r H ap p ie s t Ye ars is at o nce a life g u id e fo r t e e nag e rs and a s o rt o f ins id e lo o k at t he p o p u lar ho s t o f A me rican B and s t and While als o w rit t e n fo r b o t h g e nd e rs C lark fo cu s e s mo re o n t he live s o f b o ys and in t hat ve in o ft e n u s e s s u p p o s e d ly p e rs o nal ane cd o t e s as e xamp le s fo r b e havio rs o r fe e ling s T he fo cu s o n b o ys is no t ab le b e cau s e many mo re g u id e s like t his e xis t fo r g irls t han fo r b o ys and mo s t are w rit t e n b y w o me n. A d d it io nally, t his p art icu lar e xp lo it at io n o f fame g ive s cre d e nce t o t he p o p u larit y o f life g u id e s fo r t e e nag e rs H e le n L o u is e C ro u s e 's Jo yce Jacks o n's G u id e t o D at ing is d ire ct e d s q u are ly t o w ard t e e nag e g irls Jacks o n, C ro u s e 's p s e u d o nym, s u p p o s e d ly a t e e nag e r he rs e lf, w rit e s as he r int ro d u ct io n: M y name is Jo yce Jacks o n a t e e n ag e r. I have my p ro b le ms t o b e mo re s p e cific d at ing p ro b le ms B u t w hat g irl d o e s n't have d at ing p ro b le ms ? T hanks t o s o me g irls w ho are u nu s u al s u cce s s e s at d at ing I have b e e n ab le t o g e t e xp e rt he lp w it h many o f my p ro b le ms T he s e g irls are t ru l y charming and o ne w o u ld e xp e ct t hat t he y w e re e it he r b o rn lu cky o r e ls e had s p e nt g re at e ffo rt t o achie ve t he ir charm. T he y s ay no t While it t o o k e ffo rt fo r t he m t o achie ve t he ir p re s e nt s u cce s s t he y s ay t he e ffo rt w as e as y. I s ho u ld like t o p as s s o me o f t he ir s u g g e s t io ns alo ng t o yo u I t hink t he s e s u g g e s t io ns w ill s p are yo u mu ch u nne ce s s ary mis e ry and e mb arras s me nt T he y have d o ne t hat fo r me S u cce s s fu l d at ing is p o s s ib le fo r any g irl, if s he w ill g ive ce rt ain mat t e rs he r clo s e at t e nt io n. T his b o o k is d e s ig ne d t o g ive yo u t hat he lp (C ro u s e 1955: viii) T hro u g h he r ab u nd ant p e rs o nal ane cd o t e s o ne le arns t hat s he is a s o ro rit y g irl,

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19 and t he re in lie s he r ap p e al. Y o u ng e r t e e nag e rs w ill id o lize t he ir o ld e r p e e rs and w ill b e mo re like ly t o fo llo w t he ir ad vice t han t hat o f s o me o ne w ho co me s o ff as b e ing s imilar t o t he ir p are nt s and o u t o f t o u ch w it h co nt e mp o rary t e e nag e is s u e s Whe t he r C ro u s e act u ally w as a t e e nag e r at t he t ime o f w rit ing is u nkno w n, b u t d is t inct ly p o s s ib le If s he w as t his b o o k h as a p e rs p e ct ive t hat is u niq u e in t his g ro u p o f b o o ks t hat o f s o me o ne act u ally e xp e rie ncing t he s e d ifficu lt ie s ; ho w e ve r, if s he w as no t t hat fact is almo s t irre le vant as t e e nag e g irls may s t ill re ad t he g u id e as t ho u g h it is w rit t e n b y o ne o f t he ir p e e rs E ve lyn D u vall's Fact s o f L ife and L o ve fo r T e e nag e rs is a co mp re he ns ive and at t ime s ve ry t e chnical, g u id e fo r t e e nag e rs o f b o t h g e nd e rs It is le s s co nve rs at io nal t han any o f t he o t he r t hre e g u id e s b u t s o lid ly e xhib it s p o s t Wo rld War II id e als a s it w as p u b lis he d in 1950. T ho u g h t he s e g u id e s may s o u nd ap p e ar d iffe re nt t he ad vice t o t e e nag e rs is co ns is t e nt t hro u g ho u t all fo u r, d e mo ns t rat ing t hat s o cial id e as fo r g e nd e r ro le s w e re in t his d e cad e cle arly d e fine d and s p e cific. METH OD I re ad t he s e g u id e s fo r e xp e ct at io ns and ad vice fo r ho w b o ys and g irls are s u p p o s e d t o act as a me mb e r o f t he ir g e nd e r and int e ract w it h e ach o t he r, p art icu larly ho w t he s e e xp e ct at io ns are d ive rg e nt b e t w e e n g e nd e rs in o rd e r t o make co nclu s io ns ab o u t t he at t it u d e s o f t he s e d o cu me nt s I o rg anize d t his info rmat io n int o five cat e g o rie s IN C IT IN G M A S C U L IN IT Y /FE M IN IN IT Y D E S IR A B IL IT Y P OL IT E S S E /R U L E S S T A T U S OF D A T IN G and S E X U A L IT Y

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20 w hich are d e fine d b e lo w IN C IT IN G M A S C U L IN IT Y /FE M IN IN IT Y : H o w g irls mu s t cau s e mas cu l init y in b o ys and b o ys mu s t cau s e fe mininit y in g irls D E S IR A B IL IT Y : What t he s e g u id e s s t at e t hat b o ys and g irls find at t ract ive in t he o p p o s it e g e nd e r. H o w t o g e t a b o y/g irlfrie nd and ho w t o ke e p o ne P OL IT E S S E /R U L E S : What g u id e line s e xis t ab o u t co u rt e s y and t he b are me chanics o f d at ing S T A T U S OF D A T IN G : H o w b o ys and g irls fe e l ab o u t d at ing ab s t ract ly. S E X U A L IT Y : What t he e xp e ct at io ns are fo r s e xu al ag g re s s io n, act ivit y and t he imp licat io ns t he re in. Ove rall, t he s e g u id e s o u t line far mo re ru le s and s t ip u lat io ns fo r g irls b e havio r t han b o ys ', w hich may o nly incid e nt ally re fle ct re ad e rs hip g ive n t hat mo s t o f t he s e b o o ks are w rit t e n fo r b o t h g e nd e rs Ins t e ad it illu minat e s an e mp has is o n t e e nag e s p he re s L ike ad u lt s male s are e xp e ct e d t o b e in t he p u b lic s p he re and fe male s in t he p rivat e s p he re ; ho w e ve r, in t his cas e t he p u b lic s p he re co ns is t s o f act ivit ie s and o u t s id e int e re s t s w hile t he p rivat e s p he re is fo cu s o n and maint e nance o f p e rs o nal re lat io ns hip s I N C I TI N G MAS C U L I N I TY/F EMI N I N I TY In an y d icho t o my, it is g e ne rally u nd e rs t o o d t hat a t rait 's p re s e nce in o ne

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21 o f t he s u b je ct s s u g g e s t s ab s e nce in t he o t he r. T his is o f co u rs e t ru e in t he cas e o f mas cu linit y and fe mininit y; ho w e ve r, s ince t he s e t rait s are no t innat e in p e o p le in t e e nag e d at i ng t he d at ing p art ne r is re q u ire d t o b ring t he s e o u t in a p e rs o n. B o ys w ant a g irl w ho w ill make t he m fe e l like a M A N !" (B rand o w 1954: 66), s ince a b o y canno t manife s t t he s e q u alit ie s w it ho u t s o me o ne t o b e a charact e r in o p p o s it io n t o t his mas cu linit y. A g irl mu s t fu rt he r le t him b e t he s t ar at t he s p o rt s t hat t he y u s e d t o p lay t o g e t he r (C lark 1959: 48), s o he can e xhib it e ve n mo re p hys ical p o w e r in co nt ras t t o he r inact ivit y. T he s e o u t w ard s ig ns o f mas cu linit y are t o make a g irl fe e l mo re fe minine a charact e ris t ic ne arly d e fine d b y p as s ivit y, as a g irl like s t o fe e l manag e d in t he s e ns e t hat s he is b e ing he lp le s s ly s w e p t o ff he r fe e t (B rand o w 1954: 45). S TATU S OF D ATI N G It is co mmo n in 1950s g u id e b o o ks t o s ay t hat g irls are mo re d e s p e rat e fo r d at e s and t o d at e t han b o ys are w hich is a d ire ct re s u lt o f t he ru le t hat o nly b o ys may ins t ig at e a d at e S ince b o ys s ho u ld t he y w ant a d at e can ju s t as k fo r o ne t he re is ne ce s s arily le s s t ime s p e nt w ait ing and w o nd e ring ab o u t t he m. A d d it io nally, b o ys a re o ft e n p re s e nt e d as having mo re act ivit ie s w it h s p o rt s and t he cro w d p ro vid ing e no u g h fu n t o ke e p [t he m] b u s y" (C lark 1959: 105), w hile g irls ne e d b o ys o r t alk ab o u t b o ys t o e nt e rt ain t he m. Wit h C ro u s e (1955: 1) t e lling t he m it 's g o o d t o have d at e s ," as t ho u g h t he ir cu rre nt t e e nag e s o cie t y had no t alre ad y, g irls may b e co me e ve n mo re d e s p e rat e fo r d at e s

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22 T his d e s p e rat io n can d e rive fro m t he fact t hat having a d at e is acco rd ing t o t he s e g u id e s als o co nne ct e d mo re t o fe male s t at u s t han it is male s t at u s as e vid e nce d b y ho w mu ch mo re it is me nt io ne d in co nju nct io n w it h g irls T his is d u e t o t he t e e nag e p rivat e s p he re o f int e rp e rs o nal/ro mant ic re lat io ns hip s t o w hich g irls are re le g at e d as w e ll as t he e xamp le in t he 1950s mid d le clas s t e e nag e g irl' s life o f he r mo t he r as ho me make r, w it h a life g e ne rally re vo lving aro u nd he r hu s b and and family. In o rd e r t o g e t d at e s a g irl mu s t alre ad y have had a d at e s o s he may g o o u t w it h a b o y s he d o e s no t re ally like b e cau s e t his is a firs t d at e and b e g g ars c an't b e cho o s e rs (B rand o w 1954: 5 7). E ve n if a g irl is no t e ve n re ally int e re s t e d in b o ys ye t if o ne o f yo u r g irl frie nd s invit e s yo u t o a p art y d o n't p as s it u p (C lark 1959: 52) b e cau s e e ve nt u ally s he w ill b e int e re s t e d in b o ys and have alre ad y m e t s o me in a co nt e xt t hat s u g g e s t s d at e ab ilit y. T his s o cial d e s irab ilit y can als o manife s t in g irls acce p t ing almo s t any d at e C lark (1959: 109) and B rand o w (1954: 17) s ay, if s he has no t hing line d u p s he s ho u ld g o o u t w it h yo u ," and g irls u s u ally lo v e a d at e and w ill rare ly t u rn a b o y d o w n," re s p e ct ive ly. Ju s t t o b e o n and s e e n o n a d at e re g ard le s s o f w it h w ho m as lo ng as he 's d e ce nt ly s o cially re s p e ct ab le is e no u g h t o s at is fy t his ind icat o r o f s t at u s Wit ho u t a d at e a g irl can't ju s t g e t u p and g o any p lace s he cho o s e s b e cau s e S at u rd ay nig ht is d at e nig ht (C lark 1959: 51) and it w o u ld b e t o o s o cially s t ig mat izing t o g o o u t b o t h Frid ay and S at u rd ay nig ht s w it ho u t a d at e

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23 P OL I TES S E/R U L ES T he re are ru le s fo r s p e cific, g e nd e re d act io ns in t e e nag e d at ing w hich manife s t fro m t his o ve rarching id e a t hat g irls and b o ys are inhe re nt ly d iffe re nt and s ho u ld b e p o lice d as s u ch, and t hat g irls s ho u ld re ce ive b o ys act io ns and ne e d t he p ro t e ct io n o f b o ys p o w e r. M any o f t he s e are d e e me d co u rt e s y," b u t a g e nd e re d p o lit e ne s s at t hat P e rhap s yo u rs is t he as king e nd o f t he d at e We ll, fe llo w s ..." B rand o w (1954: 15) b e g ins he r s e g me nt ab o u t as king fo r d at e s re ve aling as t he o t he rs d o t hat init iat ing a d at e is s t rict ly male b u s ine s s (C lark 1959; C ro u s e 195 5; D u vall 1950). If a g irl w e re t o d o s o it w o u ld b e ho rrifying ly ag g re s s ive u nacce p t ab le and w o u ld le ave he r d at e le s s b e cau s e b o ys w o u ld re s e nt he r (B rand o w 1954). B o ys s ho u ld as k d ire ct ly and w it h an act ivit y in mind (B rand o w 1954; D u vall 1950), t ho u g h all b o o ks are q u ick t o me nt io n t hat t his w ill le t t he re cip ie nt o f t he invit at io n kno w ho w t o d re s s fo r t he e ve ning T his act io n s e t s t he t o ne fo r mo s t int e ract io ns t hat t ake p lace o n a d at e : t he b o y is t he init iat o r, o r act o r, w hile t he g irl acq u ie s c e s o r re ce ive s t he s e act io ns le s s au t o no mo u s t han t he b o y (t ho u g h d o e s a s e t o f s o cial ru le s act u ally allo w anyo ne t o b e au t o no mo u s ? ). G irls are no t s o cially allo w e d t o call a b o y o n t he t e le p ho ne mu ch like t he y canno t as k fo r d at e s (C lark 1959; D u vall 1950). T he y may call o n b u s ine s s ," p re s u mab ly ab o u t ho me w o rk o r s o me o t he r no n ag g re s s ive re as o n, b u t ne ve r ju s t t o chat ; if he r p u rp o s e co u ld p o s s ib ly b e mis u nd e rs t o o d s he s ho u ld as k

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24 s o me o ne e ls e t o make t he call fo r he r" (C ro u s e 1955: 7). T he b o y has all co nt ro l o ve r co mmu nicat io n, t o t he p o int w he re fe ar o f b e ing ag g re s s ive w ill cau s e a g irl no t t o call him fo r a co mp le t e ly inno cu o u s re as o n. E ve n in a re g u lar, e xclu s ive re lat io ns hip g irls are no t e nt it le d t o call him o n t he t e le p ho ne (B rand o w 1954: 88). G irls mu s t t hu s p as s ive ly w ait t o b e cho s e n. T he b o y has fu rt he r co nt ro l o ve r d at e s b e cau s e he has t he s o le re s p o ns ib ilit y t o finance and find t rans p o rt at io n fo r t he d at e (C lark 1959). B o ys financial re s p o ns ib ilit y o n d at e s is a re s u lt o f li ving in and le arning fro m a cap it alis t s o cie t y in w hich mo ne y e q u at e s t o p o w e r, w hich fu rt he r e q u at e s t o mas cu linit y. Fo r t his re as o n, t he p ract ice o f g o ing D u t ch," in w hich a g irl p ays fo r he rs e lf o n a d at e is s t ro ng ly w arne d ag ains t (B rand o w 1954: 55 6; D u vall 1950: 138). It is an e xt re me t hat s ho u ld no t b e re ache d in a g irl's e ffo rt t o le s s e n he r d at e 's financial s t re s s (C ro u s e 1955). G o ing D u t ch o ve rt u rns t he e ve r p o p u lar g e nd e r ro le s cau s ing g irls t o fe e l u s e d and b o ys t o fe e l u s e le s s (B rand o w 1954), as any u p s e t o f g e nd e r ro le s is b o u nd t o cau s e B e cau s e o nly b o ys are p e rmit t e d t o d rive (B rand o w 1954; D u vall 1950), g irls are e s s e nt ially at t he ir me rcy re g ard ing w he re t he y are g o ing and w he n t he d at e e nd s A g irl has no re al e s cap e P o lit e ne s s o f co u rs e w o u ld p re ve nt he r fro m le aving anyw ay, b u t if t he b o y t ake s he r o u t in t he family car, he r cap ab ilit y fo r ind e p e nd e nt mo ve me nt is s t u nt e d C o u rt e s y re q u ire s a man o p e n t he car d o o r fo r a w o man...g o o d manne rs are ju s t g o o d s e ns e (C lark 1959 : 58). T he re are ce rt ain act io ns co ns id e re d

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25 p o lit e t hat s e e m t o have no b as is o t he r t han fe male s s o cially d e t e rmine d he lp le s s ne s s re lat ive t o male s A b o y s ho u ld s t and w he n a g irl e nt e rs t he ro o m (C lark 1959) t o ackno w le d g e he r fe mininit y, and s ho u ld al w ays p u s h in a g irl's chair b e ne at h he r (C ro u s e 1955). E ve r p ro t e ct ive b o ys mu s t alw ays w alk t he ir d at e t o he r fro nt d o o r (B rand o w 1954; D u vall 1950), t o e ns u re no harm b e co me s he r b e t w e e n t he car d o o r t hat he has ju s t o p e ne d fo r he r, and t he lo ving e mb r ace o f he r p are nt s G irls mu s t w ait fo r b o ys t o o p e n and clo s e any d o o rs fo r t he m (B rand o w 1954; C lark 1959), s o me t hing g irls are g e ne rally co mp le t e ly cap ab le o f d o ing t he ms e lve s b u t g e nd e re d s o cial ru le s re nd e r t he m he lp le s s t o b o ys s o cially o rd aine d c o nt ro l. T he g u id e s d e s crib e s p e cific ru le s fo r g irls t o maint ain t he ir p as s ivit y, as o p p o s e d t o t he ir s imp le re act io n t o male co u rt e s y." Whe n o n a d at e at a re s t au rant s he s ho u ld g ive he r o rd e r t o t he b o y, w ho w ill t he n g ive b o t h o rd e rs t o t he w ait e r ( B rand o w 1954; C ro u s e 1955), o u t w ard ly re ve aling he r d e p e nd e nce o n him and minimizing he r ind ivid u alit y. A d d it io nally, b e fo re e ve n s p e aking t o a b o y, s he s ho u ld as k a mu t u al frie nd t o p ro p e rly int ro d u ce t he m, o r w ait fo r him t o int ro d u ce hims e lf (C ro u s e 19 55); s he is g ive n ve ry lit t le p o w e r w it h w hich t o init iat e co nt act w it h b o ys G ift s have ru le s at t ache d s t e mming mainly fro m t he p u rchas e d g ift 's s ymb o lizat io n o f mo ne y. G irls are d e lig ht e d b y s u rp ris e g ift s and flo w e rs (B rand o w 1954; D u vall 1950), and t he s e g ift s are re g ard e d as b e ing re fle ct io ns o f t he valu e a b o y p lace s o n a g irl; If yo u kno w he can w e ll affo rd an e xp e ns ive g ift

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26 and ye t yo u re ce ive s o me t hing t hat 's d o w nrig ht che ap b e t t e r w ake u p t o t he fact t hat yo u 've falle n fo r a line (B rand o w 1 954: 177), as g irls are a s o rt o f co mmo d it y. G irls s ho u ld t he re fo re ne ve r g ive a g ift t o a b o y w ho has no t g ive n o ne t o he r firs t (C ro u s e 1955), as o t he rw is e he d o e s no t s e e he r as an inve s t me nt and s he s ho u ld no t w as t e he r t ime L ike anyt hing t hat invo l ve s hand ling mo ne y, g irls s ho u ld avo id b u ying g ift s fo r b o ys (C ro u s e 1955) and s ho w ing o ff t he ir p art icip at io n in t he cap it alis t s ys t e m fo r b o ys Ins t e ad it is p re fe rab le fo r he r t o make him g ift s w he t he r knit t ing (" a g ift o f s o cks o r a s w e at e r s he has knit t e d he rs e lf" [C ro u s e 1955: 67]), s e w ing o r s o me o t he r craft (C ro u s e 1955; D u vall 1950). T his re mo ve s t he g ift fro m having any s o rt o f o b vio u s marke t valu e in s p it e o f s u p p ly co s t s and re p lace s t hat imp licat io n w it h o ne o f t ho u g ht fu lne s s and an e xam p le o f t he g irl's d o me s t ic s kills A g irl may als o p u rchas e t icke t s t o s o me b ig e ve nt p ro vid e d t hat s he make s u p a s t o ry ab o u t ho w s he re ce ive d t he m as a g ift and u lt imat e ly le ave s it u p t o t he b o y t o d e cid e w he t he r t he y at t e nd (D u vall 1950), e liminat ing t he g ro t e s q u e id e a t hat s he has act u ally s p e nt mo ne y o n a b o y. D ES I R AB I L I TY Ob vio u s ly d iffe re nt s t and ard s e xis t fo r at t ract ing and ke e p ing t he at t e nt io ns o f s o me o ne o f d iffe re nt g e nd e rs s imp ly b y virt u e o f t he fact t hat s o cie t y co nt inu e s t o d e fine g e nd e rs as o p p o s it e ." It is u t t e rly u ns u rp ris ing t hat t he 1950s has p art icu larly s t rict ru le s

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27 B o ys are hig hly alle rg ic t o ce rt ain charact e ris t ics Fo r ins t ance s o me fat al charms (fat al t o yo u t hat is ) w hich yo u mig ht have are ag g re s s ive ne s s cat t ine s s a ye n t o b rag ab o u t yo u r p o p u larit y, g o s s ip ing s illine s s and t hat t o u g h 'b e e n aro u nd ap p ro ach" (B rand o w 1954: 63) A g irl's o p t io ns fo r at t ract ing a b o y re ly he avily o n he r p as s ivit y and d is p o s it io n. Frankly, it is alarming t he nu mb e r o f t ime s e ach o f t he s e g u id e s t e lls g irls no t t o chas e b o ys ; at le as t t e n p ag e s amo ng fo u r b o o ks me nt io n chas ing at le as t o nce C has e rs are nig ht mare s (B rand o w 1954: 63). C has ing is d e fine d as anyt hing fro m a g irl t e lling a frie nd t hat s he like s a b o y, and t hat co n fid e nce b e ing b e t raye d (B rand o w 1954), t o as king him fo r a d at e (B rand o w 1954; C lark 1959). Fo r a g irl t o t ake o n t his ag g re s s ive ro le q u e s t io ns a b o y's mas cu linit y b e cau s e N at u rally, any b o y fe e ls s illy t o d is co ve r t hat he is b e ing w o o e d B e s id e s fe e lin g e mb arras s e d aw kw ard and s is s ifie d (B rand o w 1954: 183). T o co u nt e ract t his e g re g io u s lo s s o f mas cu linit y, a b o y can p u t a g irl b ack in he r p as s ive p lace b y t e as ing o r ig no ring he r (B rand o w 1954). In co nt ras t B rand o w (1954) as s u re s b o ys t hat p e rhap s s he is n't d e claring t he s t at e o f he r he art ... b e cau s e s he is a t ho ro u g hly nice g irl" (182). C ro u s e (1955) g o e s s o far as t o s ay, an ind icat io n o f t o o mu ch e nt hu s ias m o n yo u r p art is w o rs e t han no ne at all, and is ap t t o t u rn t he b o y ag ains t yo u fo re ve r" (5). N o t o nly is t his chas e e ve n w o rs e t han making a b o y fe e l re je ct e d b u t t he fat alis t ic lang u ag e cau s e s p art icu lar anxie t y in a re ad e r. E q u ally as o ft e n, t he t e rm ag g re s s io n" o r s o me variant is u s e d as a ne g at ive ind icat io n. T he amb ig u it y o f t his t e rm, o u t s id e o f

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28 t he o b vio u s fact t hat g irls may no t as k b o ys o u t e nco u rag e s incre as e d p as s ivit y w it ho u t act u ally g iving any e xamp le s It co u ld me an anyt hing and a fe male re ad e r s t e e p e d in t his w ay o f t hinking is fo rce d t o e valu at e he r o w n act io n s fo r any hint s o f t he e ve r b o y re p e lling ag g re s s ive ne s s ." G irls s ho u ld als o avo id t alking ab o u t p rio r d at e s w it h o t he r b o ys w he n o n a d at e w it h o ne as it w ill d is g u s t him and cau s e him t o g e t rid o f he r (B rand o w 1954: 65, 68). In fact g irls s ho u l d avo id t alking ve ry mu ch at all, as b o ys p re fe r g irls w ho d o n't t alk t o o mu ch, and ce rt ainly no t ab o u t t he ms e lve s C ro u s e 1955; D u vall 1950). T o b e an at t ract ive d at e g irls s ho u ld s p e nd mo re t ime b e ing int e re s t e d ins t e ad o f b e ing int e re s t ing (C ro u s e 1 955: 27), and co nt inu ing t he ir o u t rig ht p as s ivit y b e yo nd t he p u rs u it p has e o f a re lat io ns hip o r d at e T his inact io n is s o cially, he t e ro no rmat ive ly d e s irab le no t o nly b e cau s e it s u b s crib e s t o t he g e ne ral ro le o f male ag g re s s o r fe male re ce ive r, b u t als o b e c au s e d at e s have s o me co nne ct io n t o s e xu al act ivit y, w hich o nly b o ys are p e rmit t e d t o p u rs u e T he re are far fe w e r e xamp le s o f w hat b o ys d o find at t ract ive in a g irl. C o ns t ant p o s it ivit y and s w e e t ne s s are amo ng t he fe w t rait s s p e cifically o u t line d as acce p t ab le fo r g irls (B rand o w 1954; C ro u s e 1955). K e e p ing a b o yfrie nd invo lve s lit t le s kill, acco rd ing t o t he s e g u id e s A g irl mu s t s imp ly p re t e nd t he y are no t d at ing E ve n if t he y are g o ing s t e ad y, it is s o cially u nacce p t ab le fo r a g irl t o t e le p ho ne a b o y o r as k him o u t (B rand o w 1954), as it is s t ill p re s u mp t u o u s and ag g re s s ive at t hat p o int S he s ho u ld als o no t e xp e ct any mo re o f his fre e t ime b e cau s e t o d o s o w o u ld b e o ve r p o s s e s s ive

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29 (B rand o w 1954). B o ys t he as ke rs o f d at e s have far fe w e r and le s s s t ro ng ly w o rd e d g u id e line s fo r act u ally at t ract ing g irls A ll he has t o d o is as k, and it d o e s n't hu rt if he has a car o r s o me s o cial s t at u s marke r. Fo llo w ing e vo lu t io nary t he o ry, g irls are e s p e cially at t ract e d t o b o ys w it h acce s s t o a car (B rand o w 1954) a s ig nificant ind icat o r o f w e alt h in t he 1950s Ot he r s t at u s marke rs fo r ins t ance a s o cial t it le like Ice K ing o f t he Wint e r C arnival" (C ro u s e 1955: 3), make a b o y mo re d e s irab le It p ro ve s he has e no u g h s t at u s and p o w e r w it hin t he g ro u p t o w in p o p u la rit y co nt e s t s Ot he r, le s s o ve rt ly s u p e rficial, me t ho d s b o ys have t o make a g irl like t he m inclu d e b e co ming frie nd ly w it h he r p are nt s and having an ho no rab le line (B rand o w 1954: 173). B rand o w (1954) t e lls b o ys t hat t hat t he y s ho u ld g e t in s o lid w it h he r p are nt s b e cau s e t he y'll p u t yo u in s o lid w it h he r" (79 81). T his fu rt he r e xe mp lifie s t he t he me o f g irls as p ro p e rt y o f t he ir p are nt s u nt il t he y are marrie d While acco rd ing t o t he s e g u id e s a b o y may e s s e nt ially d at e w ho me ve r he cho o s e s re g ard le s s o f his p are nt s a g irl is mo re u nd e r p are nt al influ e nce and t he re fo re mo re child like T his co nt ro l e mp has ize s a g irl's p as s ivit y and s u p p o s e d ne e d t o b e t ake n care o f and co d d le d b y b o t h p are nt s and d at e s Finally, a b o y mu s t have an ho no rab le line ," o r re he ars e d live ly ro u t ine o f chat t e r" in o rd e r t o b e p o p u lar (B rand o w 1954: 173). T his p u t s t he b o y in t he p o s it io n o f b e ing t he t alke r t o a g irl's lis t e ne r. H aving s o me t hing re he ars e d me ans he alw ays has s o me t hing t o s ay, and t he re fo re s o me co nt ro l in an

PAGE 34

30 int e ract io n, p ro vid e d he has no t u s e d it alre ad y w it h t he g irl t o w ho m he is s p e aking B o t h o f t he s e me t ho d s invo lve s o me d o minance o ve r and in co nve rs at io ns w it h g irls T he re are ho w e ve r, g u id e line s fo r ke e p ing a g irl int e re s t e d Fo r ins t ance i f a g irl d at e s many b o ys o ne is s u p p o s e d t o ke e p he r g u e s s ing D o n't t ry fo r a kis s and s he 'll w o nd e r if s he d id n't make s u ch a ho t imp re s s io n o n [him]" (B rand o w 1954: 84); b y making a g irl u ns u re o f he rs e lf and he r at t ract ive ne s s a b o y can s t ay in h e r he ad T e e nag e g irls are g e ne rally ins e cu re as it is and t ake s u ch t hing s t o he art me aning a g irl le arns no t t o co u nt o n a s u it o r t o b e t o o nice t o he r, and lo w e rs he r e xp e ct at io ns and s t and ard s fo r ho w s he w o u ld like t o b e t re at e d M u ch like t he ad v ice g ive n t o g irls w he n g o ing s t e ad y a b o y s ho u ld co nt inu e t o t re at his g irlfrie nd as t ho u g h t he y are no t in a marg inally mo re s e rio u s re lat io ns hip H e s ho u ld co nt inu e t o d e mo ns t rat e his financial d o minance b y g iving he r s u rp ris e g ift s (B rand o w 1954), as g irls w ho have flo w e rs s e nt t o t he m fo r no b ig re as o n and have a co lle ct io n o f ine xp e ns ive t rinke t s b o u g ht b y a b o y... are p le as e d (47). A d d it io nally, he mu s t ind u lg e he r fe mininit y and s o cial ne e d t o b e s e e n d at ing s o me o ne b y t aking he r t o all t he im p o rt ant s cho o l affairs (B rand o w 1954: 88). A ft e r all, a g irl like s t o b e t re at e d like a fairy p rince s s o n a fe at he r p illo w (B rand o w 1954: 45). S EXU AL I TY U ns u rp ris ing ly, s e xu alit y is a t o p ic w it h incre d ib ly d ive rg e nt ro le s and

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31 e xp e ct at io ns b e t w e e n g e nd e rs While it is nat u ral t o w ant t o kis s and p e t (a t e rm w it h no u nive rs al d e finit io n, and as s u me d t o b e any s e xu al co nt act b e yo nd kis s ing ) (B rand o w 1954: 189) (D u vall 1950), p e t t ing is s o cially u nacce p t ab le fo r e it he r g e nd e r acco rd ing t o t he s e s o u rce s B rand o w clas s ifie s p e t t e rs int o t hre e g ro u p s : 1. T he lo ve s t arve d 2. T he s ince re b u t g u llib le lo ve r 3. T he immo ral (191) E s s e nt ially, t he o nly p e o p le w ho g ive in t o t he s e u rg e s are no t act u ally in lo ve b u t are d e s p e rat e fo r any affe ct io n t he y can g e t s t u p id o r, o f co u rs e immo ral. In o t he r w o rd s p e t t e rs have ho rrib le p e rs o nal flaw s T ho u g h b y t he e nd o f t he 1950s p e t t ing b y b o t h b o ys and g irls is fro w ne d u p o n (C lark 1959: 29), it is t he g irl's re s p o ns ib ilit y t o s t o p it and t he re fo re mo re s t rin g e nt d e fine d ru le s are inflict e d o n g irls G irls mu s t w o rry ab o u t t he ir re p u t at io n re lying o n t he ir p u rit y, and are g ive n p le nt y o f s p e cificat io ns fo r ho w t o avo id s e e ming che ap o r like t hat kind o f g irl." A s t he y are le s s e as ily e xcit e d b y s e x s t im u lat io n and mo re s lo w ly mo ve d t o d e mand s e xu al co nt act (D u vall 1950: 247), t he s e xu al g at e ke e p e r ro le is fo rce d o n g irls (248). B o ys are re g ard e d as having a s e x d rive s o s t ro ng t hat it o ve rru le s re as o n" (C ro u s e 1955: 153), and t he male p art ne rs in g o i ng s t e ad y re lat io ns hip s are d rive n b y t hat e mo t io n he calls lo ve ...yo u 've g o t t o t hink fo r b o t h o f yo u (B rand o w 1954: 188). Fu rt he rmo re p e t t ing is hab it fo rming and if

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32 a g irl allo w s it o nce t he b o y w ill w ant it all t he t ime b e cau s e o f his co ns t ant ne e d fo r s e xu al s t imu lat io n (D u vall 1950: 245). G irls als o e xp e ct lo ve fro m a kis s (C lark 1959: 29) and as s o ciat e s e x w it h lo ve (C ro u s e 1955: 83), w hile b o ys d o no t as s o ciat e s e x w it h lo ve (C ro u s e 1955: 83). T his me nt alit y e s s e nt ially e xcu s e s b o ys fro m t aking any re s p o ns ib ilit y fo r t he ir act io ns and p u t s t he b lame fo r any s e xu al act ivit y o n t he g irl; as s u ch, t he g irl w ill e xp e rie nce mo re s t ig mat izat io n b y he r p e e rs t han he r male p art ne r s ho u ld anyt hing s e xu al hap p e n b e t w e e n t he m. P e t t ing and kis s ing a lo t is a b ad g e o f p o w e r" fo r b o ys (D u vall 1950: 141). A d he ring t o he t e ro no rmat ivit y, t he ir p o p u larit y amo ng b o ys is in p art d e t e rmine d b y t he ir s e xu al e xp e rie nce mo re o f w hich me ans mo re mas cu linit y. B o ys may e ve n w o nd e r w ill s he t e ll he r frie n d s yo u 're a s is s y w ho has n't g o t t e n aro u nd mu ch, if yo u d o n't [kis s he r]? (B rand o w 1954: 163). C o nne ct ing mas cu linit y w it h s e xu al act ivit y fu rt he r alie nat e s g irls fro m it in o rd e r t o p re s e rve t he ir fe mininit y. N o o ne is s u p p o s e d t o e xp e ct kis s e s o n t he firs t d at e (D u vall 1950) b e cau s e kis s e s are me ant t o b e s hare d b e t w e e n p e o p le w ho g e nu ine ly like e ach o t he r (C lark 1959). A b o y can e as ily avo id a me aning le s s kis s s ince t he ru le s o f d at ing and mas cu linit y s ay t hat he is t he o nly o ne o f t he p air w ho can init iat e a kis s A g irl, o n t he o t he r hand is re ally o n t he s p o t and t he d e fe ns ive (B rand o w 1954: 167). If a b o y t rie s fo r an e arly kis s a g irl has fe w o p t io ns T he firs t is s lap [p ing ] him hard !" (B rand o w 1954: 187). T his is a s u rp ris ing d is p lay o f ag g re s s io n, allo w e d o nly b e cau s e t he valu e o f a g irl's s e xu al p u rit y and

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33 re p u t at io n is s o hig h, T he o t he r o p t io n is t o chang e o r avo id t he s u b je ct (B rand o w 1954: 167). T ho u g h C lark (1959) ins is t s no g irl has t o kis s a fe llo w g o o d nig ht e ve r!" ( 115), B rand o w (1954) ins is t s t hat afo re me nt io ne d ru le s o f e t iq u e t t e p re ve nt avo id ance fro m b e ing t hat s t raig ht fo rw ard as if [a g irl is ] in a car, ([s he ] can't g e t o u t u nt il he g o e s aro u nd ) [s he 's ] s u nk u nle s s [s he ] has a nat u ral and ve ry fu nny s e ns e o f h u mo r t o jo ke [he r] w ay o u t o f t his s it u at io n" (167). In t hat cas e it is like ly t hat g irls are s u p p o s e d t o w ant t o avo id s e xu al co nt act t o s u ch an e xt e nt t hat e xit ing t he car w o u ld b e p re fe rab le A no t e w o rt hy o mis s io n is a s imp le no ," b u t t hat w o u ld p o t e nt ially hu rt t he male e g o w it ho u t t he ins is t e nce and s p e ct acle o f a s lap It is int e re s t ing t hat g irls are t o ld o u t rig ht t hat t he y are t he g at e ke e p e rs o f kis s e s and p e t t ing b u t are p ro vid e d w it h ve ry fe w id e as fo r me chanis ms w it h w hich t o ke e p u p t he ir ro le G irls w ho w ant and are w illing t o kis s and p e t d e fy t he he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard t hat t he y s ho u ld no t d e s ire t he s e act ivit ie s and t he ir e ng ag e me nt s ho u ld s t rict ly b e fo r t he p le as u re o f t he ir p art ne r; t he re fo re t he y are che ap ." Of co u rs e at t h is t ime g irls w ho kis s and p e t are no t re s p e ct ab le and b ad charact e rs (C lark 1959: 125; D u vall 1950: 142) fo r t he ir d is re g ard o f s o cial s t and ard s and t he ir o w n p u rit y, b u t g irls w ho d o it and like it are t he w o rs t A kis s is a s ince re e xp re s s io n o f a s ince re e mo t io n, and kis s e s fre e ly g ive n are che ap and valu e le s s (B rand o w 1954: 165), me aning a g irl w ho e njo ys kis s ing and ind u lg e s in it is he rs e lf valu e le s s E ve n fu rt he r, p e t t ing me ans a g irl is no t o f q u alit y, and is ru ining [he r] chance s o f e ve r b e ing ne e d e d w ant e d o r lo ve d

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34 (B rand o w 1954: 192). A s mall co nce s s io n fo r g irls kis s ing is if t he y re ally hat e it B rand o w (1954) co ns o le s b o ys b y t e lling t he m t hat t he g irl w ho allo w e d t he m t o kis s he r and ho ld he r hand may have ju s t fe lt t o o u nco mfo rt ab le t o s ay no t o t he m, and may in fact act u ally b e a nice g irl. H e r p as s ivit y is t o b e ap p lau d e d and t his d is like o f p hys ical co nt act ad he re s t o p re fe rab le no rms p re ve nt ing he r fro m b e ing t hat kind o f g irl." R e je ct ing s o cial s t and ard s t he g irl w h o e njo ys kis s ing is ab ho rre nt and che ap no t t o b e re s p e ct e d A p art icu lar p ro b le m fo r g irls is s e e ming che ap o r imp u re w it ho u t any int imat e co nt act w hat s o e ve r, co ns e q u e nce s o f w hich inclu d e no d at e s and d is re s p e ct S o me t hing as u nint e nt io nal as t o o mu ch lip s t ick can cau s e p e o p le t o p e rce ive a g irl as che ap (B rand o w 1954; C ro u s e 1955), like ly d u e t o t he p o p u lar imag e o f fe male p ro s t it u t e s as o ve rly mad e u p A d d it io nally, b o ys as a w ho le t e nd t o lo o k d o w n u p o n [g irls w ho d o n't have cu rfe w s ] and t hink o f he r rat he r as lo o s e che ap and w it h p are nt s w ho o b vio u s ly d o n't care t o o mu ch ab o u t he r" (B rand o w 1954: 61). Ins t e ad o f b e ing a s ig n t hat s he is t ru s t w o rt hy, a lack o f cu rfe w imp lie s in t his cu lt u re t hat a g irl mu s t b e u s ing t hat lat e nig ht t ime t o g e t int o s had y b u s ine s s T he re is ne ve r a me nt io n o f b o ys cu rfe w s G aining a che ap lab e l b y s u ch inno cu o u s me ans e mp has ize s t he s o cial fo cu s o n fe male p u rit y. A ll t e e nag e rs have s u ch a s o cial inve s t me nt in fe male p u rit y t hat if a b o y re ally re s p e ct s a g irl, he w ill w ant t o p ro t e ct he r re p u t at io n b y no t p e t t ing w it h he r (B rand o w 1954;C ro u s e 1955). Fo r t his re as o n, b o ys w ill no t marry g irls w it h

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35 w ho m t he y have had mu ch s e xu al co nt act (C ro u s e 1955), o r t hat t he y kno w has had a w ild p as t (B rand o w 1954: 19 4). N e g le ct ing he r fe mininit y (p u rit y, re p u t at io n) make s a g irl u lt imat e ly u nd e s irab le fo r a lo ng t e rm re lat io ns hip In an u ns u rp ris ing p at riarchal t u rn, b o ys have t he o p t io n t o t e s t g irls t o s e e w hat kind s o f g irls t he y are (B rand o w 1954: 187; D u vall 1950: 132), o b vio u s ly w it h no e q u ivale nt t e s t fo r g irls t o p e rfo rm. B o ys w ho t ry t o kis s g irls e arly are t rying t o s e e if t he y are t hat kind o f g irl" (B rand o w 1954: 187), s o g irls s ho u ld avo id it e ve n if he ins is t s and yo u 'd like t o It may b e a t e s t t o s e e if yo u 're an e as y mark" (B rand o w 1954: 28). A no t he r d o u b le s t and ard aris e s b e cau s e b o ys s o me t ime s co nfe s s t hat t he y w ill t ry t o kis s a g irl t he firs t t ime t he y t ake he r o u t b u t d o no t e xp e ct he r t o allo w it e s p e cially if s he is t he kind o f g irl t he y re s p e ct (D u vall 1950:140). T he y can at t e mp t me aning le s s kis s e s b u t if s he ag re e s t o it s he is no t g o o d e no u g h fo r t he m. T e s t ing can e ffe ct ive ly make a g irl ins e cu re ab o u t w he t he r a b o y's at t e mp t t o kis s he r is o u t o f le g it imat e ly liking he r, o r ju s t a t rick, p o t e nt ially ke e p ing t he m fro m e ng ag ing in any int imat e co nt act and s at is fying he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s C on c lu s ion 1950s d at ing g u id e s charact e rize d b y q u it e rig id ru le s p re s e nt t o t e e nag e rs ho w t o b e s o cially acce p t ab le me mb e rs o f t he ir g e nd e r w it hin ro mant ic re lat io ns hip s R o le s are d e fine d q u it e he t e ro no rmat ive ly, w it h g irls e xp e ct e d t o b e p as s ive d e p e nd e nt o n b o ys and u nint e re s t e d in s e x, and b o ys t o b e act ive

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36 ins t ig at o rs T he q u alit ie s o f mas cu linit y and fe mininit y are d e fine d b y t he ab s e nce o f t he o t he r, and t he mo s t e g re g io u s mis t ake a t e e nag e r, e s p e cially a g irl, can make is t o t ake o n a t rait o f t he o p p o s it e g e nd e r.

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37 3 2000s : P ro g re s s ive C o nfu s io n In t he fo rt y ye ars aft e r t he 1950s an array o f s o cial and p o lit ical mo ve me nt s t o o k p lace in t he U nit e d S t at e s t hat le d t o mo re e q u al g e nd e r ro le s fo r w o me n. T he C ivil R ig ht s M o ve me nt and s u b s e q u e nt C ivil R ig ht s A ct o f 1964 T it le VII p ro hib it e d hiring d is criminat io n b y s e x, me aning t hat w o me n had g re at e r acce s s t o e mp lo yme nt and t he re fo re d e ve lo p ing t he ir o w n financial au t o no my. T w o ye ars lat e r, w o me n fo u nd e d t he N at io nal Org anizat io n fo r Wo me n, hig hlig ht ing t hat g e nd e r e q u alit y had b e co me an e s p e cially imp o rt ant is s u e in ne e d o f mo re vis ib ilit y and chang e t han it had e arlie r. T ho u g h t he y w e re firs t s o ld in t he lat e 1950's it is no t u nt il t he e arly 1970s t hat it is ille g al t o int e rfe re w it h t he d is t rib u t io n o f o ral co nt race p t ive s t o u nmarrie d w o me n, a chang e t hat incre as e d s e xu al au t o no my o f w o me n re g ard le s s o f marit al s t at u s T his in t u rn incre as e d s e xu al cho ice s fo r t e e nag e g irls and d e cre as e d t he p re g nancy ris k o f t e e n s e x, a ris k t hat had t he mo s t co ns e q u e nce fo r t he g irl in t he re lat io ns hip T he s e e mp lo yme nt o p p o rt u nit ie s and s e xu al fre e d o ms cre at e d a mo re e q u al g e nd e r e nviro nme nt and d is ru p t e d t he s o cial ine rt ia, t ho u g h t he o ld he t e ro no rmat ive valu e s p e rs is t e d A s o f t he 21s t ce nt u ry, ad vice b o o ks fo r t e e nag e rs s t ill e xis t b u t are no t s o p o p u lar co mp are d t o t e e nag e g irls mag azine s w hich d is p e ns e ad vice ab o u t

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38 frie nd s s cho o l, d at ing fas hio n and o t he r life s t yle t o p ics T he re are no s imilar p u b licat io ns t arg e t e d t o w ard t e e nag e b o ys w it h any s ig nificant re ad e rs hip re info rcing t he id e a t hat d o ing re lat io ns hip s is t he b u s ine s s o f g irls ( Cham bers, Tincknell & Van Loo n 2004: 406) S o me p o p u lar t it le s inclu d e S e ve nt e e n T e e n Vo g u e and G irl's L ife S e ve nt e e n is in 2010, t he mo s t p o p u lar mag azine t it le fo r t e e nag e rs in t he U nit e d S t at e s w it h a mo nt hly circu lat io n o f ab o u t t w o millio n p e r is s u e It s au d ie nce is p rimar ily g irls ag e d 12 19 (S e ve nt e e n M e d ia K it 2010). In s p it e o f it s fe male re ad e rs hip S e ve nt e e n is no ne t he le s s a g o o d cho ice fo r making as s e rt io ns ab o u t co nt e mp o rary t e e nag e g e nd e r ro le s e s p e cially t ho s e e xp e ct e d o f g irls b e cau s e it re ache s a larg e au d ie n ce co me s o u t w it h a ne w is s u e mo nt hly, has a s ig nificant nu mb e r o f p ag e s d e d icat e d e xclu s ive ly t o d at ing o r g u y" co nce rns T he fre q u e nt lack o f clarit y in S e ve nt e e n as a w ho le in re g ard t o g e nd e re d b e havio r s e rve s t o hig hlig ht t he mis s ing rig id e xp licit ne s s in co nt e mp o rary g e nd e r ro le s as co mp are d t o t ho s e in t he 1950s One s e t d e finit io n fo r ho w a g irl s ho u ld b e have s imp ly no lo ng e r e xis t s T he art icle s ho w e ve r, o ft e n co nt rad ict e ach o t he r o r g ive ad vice t hat is vag u e t o t he p o int o f me aning le s s ne s s Fo r e xamp le g u ys like g irls w ho have an air o f mys t e ry" (B e ns o n, What s K illing Y o u r G ame ? 2008), b u t are als o d raw n t o g irls w ho are n't afraid t o b e b o ld (B e ns o n, G u y S e cre t s N o One E ve r T o ld Y o u 2009). R at io nally, t he s e co nce p t s o p p o s e e ach o t he r, alo o f mys t e rio u s ne s s ve rs u s b lat ant b o ld ne s s A n e xamp le o f t he vag u e ne s s and e lab o rat io n o n t his id e a o f b o ld ne s s in g irls B e ns o n w rit e s g u ys

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39 lo ve a g irl w ho rad iat e s co nfid e nce -b u t w he n it t u rns int o arro g ance yo u can s e e m d iva is h o r alo o f, w hich t u rns g u ys o ff. C hamp io n flirt s kno w ho w t o b e s t ro ng w it ho u t b e ing o ve rp o w e ring (B e ns o n, D o n t T ake T his A d vice 2008). T he me t ho d o f achie ving t his hap p y me d iu m is no t d e s crib e d -a g irl has no w ay t o kno w if s he is b e ing co nfid e nt b u t no t t o o co nfid e nt S o me t ime s S e ve nt e e n 's inco ns is t e ncie s o p p o s e e ach o t he r ins o far as o ne o p t io n co nfo rms t o he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s and t he o t he r d o e s d e viat e s fro m t he m. A t o t he r t ime s b o t h o p t io ns t ho u g h in o p p o s it io n, re info rce he t e ro no rmat ive s o cial s t ru ct u re s b e cau s e t he y re ly o n g irls p le as ing o r at t ract ing b o ys rat he r t han re maining t ru e t o t he ir o w n p e rs o nalit ie s and making t he ms e lve s hap p y. METH OD T o co nd u ct my analys is o f S e ve nt e e n mag azine and it s d at ing ad vice fo r g irls I lo o ke d e xclu s ive ly at t he s e x and lo ve life s e ct io ns init ially lo o king ju s t fo r d ire ct ive s b u t t he n g o ing b ack and w id e ning my analys is t o all art icle s in t he s e s e ct io ns o nce I re alize d t hat S e ve nt e e n w as mo re inco ns is t e nt and vag u e ab o u t t he ir g e nd e re d ins t ru ct io ns t han t he 1950s g u id e s I t he n d e ve lo p e d t he fo llo w ing co d e s fo r t he info rmat io n in t he art icle s w hich I w ill u s e fo r s u b he ad ing s b e lo w : S T A T U S : What d at ing and it s t e rms me an at t his t ime WH A T B OY S L IK E : H o w t o at t ract a b o y/w hat t he y like WH A T B OY S H A T E : What b e havio rs b o ys find u nat t ract ive

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40 C OM M U N IC A T ION : What b o ys act io ns me an and ho w and w he n t o have o p e n co mmu nicat io n G OOD /B A D B OY FR IE N D S : H o w g o o d o r b ad a b o yfrie nd /p o t e nt ial b o yfrie nd is D OIN G T H E WOR K : Who as ks fo r d at e s p ays make s t e le p ho ne calls P H Y S IC A L IT Y : What ru le s e xis t fo r acce p t ab le s e xu al co nt act in d at ing re lat io ns hip s One t act ic S e ve nt e e n u s e s t o au g me nt t he cre d ib ilt y o f t he inclu d e d ad vice is t o inclu d e q u o t e s s u p p o s e d ly fro m t e e nag e b o ys and g irls I have inclu d e d t he s u p p o s e d name and ag e o f t e e nag e r w ho are q u o t e d in q u o t e s as I canno t b e s u re t hat t he s e are le g it imat e q u o t at io ns Ove rall, S e ve nt e e n p ro mo t e s e q u ally s hare d ro le s as no ne o f t he me nt io ne d b e havio rs as s o ciat ing are e xp licit ly as s ig ne d t o o ne g e nd e r; ho w e ve r, t he au t ho rs p re s e nt at io n o ve rw he lming ly d is co u rag e s o p e n co nve rs at io n b e t w e e n g e nd e rs cre at ing a d is t inct s e p arat io n b e t w e e n t he t w o t he art icle s are w rit t e n in s u ch an inco ns is t e nt w ay as t o fo s t e r ins e cu rit y in g irls re g ard ing cro s s g e nd e r e ng ag e me n t S TATU S A cco rd ing t o S e ve nt e e n t he s t at u s o f a co u p le o r d e finit io n o f t he t yp e o f re lat io ns hip t he y have is ve ry imp o rt ant fo r hig h s cho o l g irls as in hig h s cho o l

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41 it 's all ab o u t g e t t ing a b o yfrie nd (M e t z, A ll A b o u t G u ys 2008). T he mag azine p ro vid e s a u s e fu l g u id e fo r t ho s e co nfu s e d ab o u t all o f t he variat io ns o f ro mant ic re lat io ns hip s in hig h s cho o l (co nt ras t ing t he t w o cat e g o rie s in t he 1950s : p laying t he fie ld and g o ing s t e ad y): H A N G IN G OU T Y o u flirt like crazy e ve ry t ime yo u s e e e ach o t he r -and w he ne ve r yo u r cre w p lans s o me t hing fu n, he as ks aro u nd o r calls t o make s u re yo u 're g o ing T A L K IN G Y o u 're in co ns t ant co nt act : E ve n w he n yo u d o n't s e e e ach o t he r in s cho o l, yo u t e xt b ack and fo rt h all d ay lo ng and he p o s t s g o o fy me s s ag e s o n yo u r Fac e b o o k. H OOK IN G U P Y o u 're d e finit e ly at t ract e d t o e ach o t he r, and t hing s have g o t t e n p hys ical. B u t yo u 're no t co mmit t e d ye t and b o t h o f yo u co u ld b e flirt ing w it h o t he r p e o p le D A T IN G H e 's t o ld yo u he like s yo u and yo u t hink t hing s co u ld g e t s e rio u s s o yo u 've p lanne d s o me act u al d at e s t o g e t t o kno w e ach o t he r e ve n b e t t e r. B u t yo u have n't had t he b o yfrie nd /g irlfrie nd t alk ye t s o t hing s are n't o fficially o fficial." G OIN G OU T Y o u 've b e e n o u t t hre e o r fo u r t ime s yo u t alk o n t he p ho ne almo s t e ve ry nig ht and ne it he r o ne o f yo u make s p lans fo r t he w e e ke nd w it ho u t che cking w it h t he o t he r firs t Y o u 're b o t h t hinking ab o u t making a re al co mmit me nt M A JOR C OM M IT M E N T Y o u 're a co u p le Y o u 've me t his family and he 's me t yo u rs Y o u kno w e ach o t he r s o w e ll, and he e ve n cho o s e s nig ht s w it h yo u o ve r hang ing o u t w it h t he g u ys !" (N u s s b au m, What s U p w it h Y o u T w o ? 2008) A t t he g o ing o u t p o int 3 4 d at e s g irls are t o ld t he y can chang e [t he ir int e rne t re lat io ns hip ] s t at u s N o w t hat yo u 've hu ng o u t s e ve ral t ime s y o u 're re ad y t o d is cu s s b e ing e xclu s ive (B e ns o n, A vo id P ro file P it falls 2008). B y e nco u rag ing g irls t o d e fine t he ir re lat io ns hip s in hig hly vis ib le w ays s u ch as o n

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42 s o cial ne t w o rking w e b s it e s like M ys p ace and Face b o o k, and t he re fo re s aying w hich re lat io ns hip s are e s p e cially w o rt h s haring info rmat io n ab o u t S e ve nt e e n le g it imize s t he s u p re macy o f e xclu s ive d at ing fo r g irls In t he co nt e xt o f t his mag azine t he final t yp e o f re lat io ns hip majo r co mmit me nt ," is o b vio u s ly t he g o al t o w hich g irls s ho u ld b e a s p iring in t he ir lo ve live s Ou t s id e o f t hat s o le e xclamat io n mark o f yo u 're a co u p le !" like it 's a re lie f and a g re at achie ve me nt t he re are no marke rs o f ju d g me nt affiliat e d w it h any o f t he s o rt s o f re lat io ns hip s S o le ly p hys ical re lat io ns hip s ho o ki ng u p ," are co mmo n e no u g h t o b e re co g nize d b u t w he t he r t he y are re ally s o cially acce p t ab le fo r a t e e nag e r t o e ng ag e in is u nkno w n. T he lis t ho w e ve r, make s d e cip he ring t he mag azine and my s u b s e q u e nt analys is mu ch e as ie r. WH AT B OYS L I K E S e ve nt e e n d e s c rib e s many, o ft e n co nt rad ict o ry, w ays fo r g irls t o at t ract b o ys w ays t o make b o ys like t he m, and b e havio rs b o ys e s p e cially like in g irls T he t hre e cat e g o rie s are in fact d is t inct and e xhib it a p ro g re s s io n s imilar t o t he fo rmat io n o f a re lat io ns hip W ays fo r g irls t o at t ract b o ys t o t he m invo lve cap t u ring t he ir at t e nt io n, making t he b o ys w ant t o t alk t o t he m, and are g e ne rally no n ve rb al; w ays g irls can make b o ys like t he m re q u ire s mo re co nt act b e t w e e n t he t w o t e e nag e rs and are re ally w ays t o ke e p a b o y int e re s t e d ; b e havio rs b o ys e s p e cially like are g e ne rally s u p p o rt b e havio rs t hat make a b o y fe e l p art icu larly s p e cial. Ve ry fe w o f any o f t he s e p re s crib e d me t ho d s invo lve a g irl's o w n

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43 p e rs o nalit y and are ins t e ad p e rfo rmance s t o cre at e o r maint ain a re lat io ns hip w it h a b o y. In o rd e r t o init ially at t ract b o ys S e ve nt e e n ins t ru ct s g irls in t he w ays o f no nve rb al co mmu nicat io n and vag u e act io n. T he ins t ru ct io ns w he n s p e cific, p ro mo t e t he g irls g e t t ing b o ys t o t alk t o t he m, rat he r t han g irls init iat ing co nt a ct In o ne ins t ance t o ld t hat b o ys are d raw n t o a g irl w ho is n't afraid t o b e b o ld (B e ns o n, G u y S e cre t s N o One E ve r T o ld Y o u 2009), in many o t he rs S e ve nt e e n s ays g u ys like g irls w ho have an air o f mys t e ry" (B e ns o n, What 's K illing Y o u r G ame ? 2008) b e cau s e t he b o ys are int rig u e d b y g irls w ho make t he m w o rk fo r t he ir at t e nt io n (B e ns o n, T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n" 2008; N u s s b au m, Y o u r S u mme r o f L o ve 2008). A g irl can s ho w t his d is int e re s t b y t alking t o b o ys o t he r t han t he o ne s he is t rying t o at t ract as it e nco u rag e s him t o fe e l co mp e t it ive w it h t he s e o t he r b o ys and b e co me mo re int e re s t e d in he r (B e ns o n, What 's K illing Y o u r G ame ? 2008; B e ns o n, T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n" 2008). S he can b e act ive w it h t he b o ys in w ho m s he is no t int e re s t e d b u t is e nco u rag e d t o w ait fo r t he b o y in w ho m s he is t o make t he firs t mo ve S e ve nt e e n als o t e lls g irls t hat lo o king at a b o y, t he n p re t e nd ing t hat t he y w e re no t lo o king and t he n lo o king ag ain w ill incit e int e re s t in a b o y, cau s ing him t o w ant t o t alk t o he r (B e ns o n, D o n't T ake T his A d vice !" 2008; B e ns o n, T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n" 2008). G irls are e nco u rag e d t o e ng ag e in a ce rt ain p as s ive act io n, w he re t he y co ns cio u s ly t ry t o s p u r a b o y t o ap p ro ach t he m, as a me ans o f re ce iving male int e re s t in co nt ras t t o t he no n s p e cific ins t ru ct io n o f b o ld ne s s

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44 Once in s o me s o rt o f re lat io ns hip b o ys like re ce iving mild s e xu al at t e nt io n and g irls w ho t ake a s t ro ng int e re s t in t he ir live s P u b lic d is p lays o f affe ct io n make him fe e l like a s t u d !" (B e ns o n, B e t he U lt imat e G irl frie nd 2009) ind icat ing a p e rce ive d male t ie b e t w e e n vis ib le s e xu al at t ract ive ne s s and in a s e ns e p ro w e s s and e g o B o ys like flirt y t e xt me s s ag e s and no t e s (B e ns o n, B e t he U lt imat e G irlfrie nd 2009; M e t z, What H e Want s T his Y e ar!" 2008), g iving g irls b o t h a w ay t o init iat e co nt act w it h b o ys and e xp re s s s e xu al at t ract io n. G irls are t o ld t hat t aking an int e re s t in a b o y's int e re s t s w ill make him like he r mo re A w e s o me g irlfrie nd s che e r fo r t he ir b o yfrie nd s at s p o rt s e ve ns o r b and p e rfo rmance s (B e ns o n, B e t he U lt imat e G irlfrie nd 2009). T he y ackno w le d g e t hat g u ys like t o s t ay act ive ," p art icip at e in t he s e act ivit ie s and can t alk ab o u t s p o rt s and his o t he r int e re s t s (C raw fo rd G e t t he H ard t o G e t G u y" 2008; S he ckle r, H o w t o B e a C o o l G irlfrie nd 2008). G irls are no t t o ld t hat s haring t he ir o w n int e re s t s w ill int rig u e b o ys making t he s e int e ract io ns in a w ay o ne s id e d and d e fining t he g irl in t he re lat io ns hip b y he r b o yfrie nd B o ys like it w he n g irls w it h w ho m t he y are in re lat io ns hip s s ho w t he m s e xu al at t e nt io n, and b e co me int e re s t e d in t he ir live s p e rhap s w it ho u t s haring t he g irls o w n live s S e ve nt e e n s imu lt ane o u s ly ins t ru ct s g irls t o b e b o ld and mys t e rio u s in o rd e r t o at t ract a b o y, b u t o ffe rs lit t le ad vice o n w hat t he co u nt e r he t e ro no rmat iv e b o ld e nt ails G irls fu rt he r le arn t hat o ffe ring s e xu al at t e nt io n t o and e ng ag ing in t he int e re s t s o f b o ys g ive s t he m g o o d g irlfrie nd s t at u s w it ho u t b u rd e ning b o ys w it h t alking ab o u t t he ms e lve s

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45 WH AT B OYS H ATE T he b e havio rs t hat S e ve nt e e n ins is t s re p e l b o ys o r cau s e t he m t o lo s e int e re s t are almo s t all p re d ict ab le fro m a he t e ro no rmat ive p e rs p e ct ive and are t e lling ab o u t b o t h t he e xp e ct at io ns fo r b o ys and g irls A ve ry s mall nu mb e r o f e xp licit d is like s o p e nly d e fy he t e ro no rmat ivit y, s u ch as b o ys d i s liking w he n g irls d o no t vo ice t he ir o p inio n. B o ys p art icu larly malig n any fe male b e havio rs t hat e ve n vag u e ly ind icat e any kind o f p ro mis cu it y o r s e xu al init iat ive inclu d ing ce rt ain ap p e arance s e xce s s ive flirt ing and co nve rs at io ns ab o u t s e x. A s fo r s ho w ing o ff a lo t o f s kin o r w e aring a lo t o f make u p D anie l, 18 is q u o t e d as s aying it lo o ks t as t e le s s like t he y're ju s t t rying t o ho o k u p I w o u ld n't w ant t o b e s e e n w it h a g irl w ho lo o ks like t hat ." (L o ve L e s s o ns fro m...B ro d y Je nne r 2007; B e ns o n, T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n 2008). S o le ly b as e d o n he r ap p e arance a g irl's mo t ivat io ns are as s u me d and ju d g e d If o ne as s u me s s e xu al mo t ivat io n, s he is no t re s p e ct ab le and it w o u ld b e e mb arras s ing t o g o o u t w it h he r. Fe male d e s ire fo r any s e xu al co nt act inclu d ing ju s t kis s ing is s u ch a b lat ant d is re g ard o f he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s as t o b e u nacce p t ab le w he n no t ke p t s e cre t inclu d ing p re ve nt ing anyo ne fro m as s u ming s u ch d e s ire S e xu al init iat ive and no n mo no g amo u s flirt at io n als o re p e l b o ys b as e d o n t h e ir d e viat io n fro m he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s D anie l, 21 s ays g irls w ho flirt w it h e ve ry g u y in t he ro o m s e e m like t he y'd t hro w t he ms e lve s at anyb o d y. A nd w he n a g irl is all o ve r yo u I w o nd e r, H o w many

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46 p e o p le have yo u d o ne t his t o ? (B e ns o n, T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n 2008). Whe n a g irl t ake s s e xu al init iat ive t he e ve r imp o rt ant q u e s t io n o f he r p u rit y aris e s A p u re g irl w o u ld no t b e all o ve r" a b o y; fe male p u rit y has s o cial valu e s o a g irl fo r w ho m t hat is e ve n a q u e s t io n is w o rt h le s s in t he e ye s o f b o ys t han o ne w ho m t he y d o no t q u e s t io n. P e rvas ive s t at e me nt s like t ho s e in t he q u o t e ab o ve ke e p g irls fro m making as many s e xu al ad vance s and maint ain t he he t e ro no rmat ive s t at u s q u o Whe n g irls t alk ab o u t s e x re ally cas u ally, it mig ht b e e nt e rt ain ing b u t it s e e ms s lu t t y" (B e ns o n, T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n 2008); w hile b e ing ab le t o d is cu s s s e x cas u ally may b e an ind icat o r o f s e cu rit y w it h t he t o p ic, and p e rhap s e ve n a le ve l o f w e ll ad ju s t me nt g irls are no t e xp e ct e d o r s o cially p e rmit t e d t o b e co m fo rt ab le d is cu s s ing s e x, as he t e ro no rmat ive cu lt u re allo w s d e s ire o nly fro m b o ys A g irl d is cu s s ing it t he re fo re is p re s u me d t o have e ng ag e d in a lo t o f s e xu al act ivit y and is s lu t t y." G irls e xp re s s io ns o f s e xu al d e s ire w he t he r o ve rt o r as s u me d b y a p p e arance o r co nve rs at io n t o p ics s t ill cau s e o t he rs t o d e nig rat e t he m, as t he y d e viat e fro m co nt e mp o rary s o cial s t and ard s o f fe male p u rit y. A no t he r fre q u e nt ly me nt io ne d d is like o f b o ys is g irls b e ing p o s s e s s ive (B e ns o n, H is B ig g e s t T u rno ff! 2009), w h ich hig hlig ht s t he e xp e ct at io n t hat re lat io ns hip s are e xclu s ive ly ap p e aling t o g irls Je alo u s y, a nat u ral hu man re s p o ns e is d is co u rag e d b e cau s e in t he cas e o f o t he r g irls flirt ing w it h o ne 's b o yfrie nd he mig ht fe e l s mo t he re d and yo u 'll e nd u p p u s hing him aw ay" (M e t z, C u t e G irls K e e p Flirt ing w it h M y G u y! 2008). N o t liking t hat a b o y w it h w ho m o ne is in an e xclu s ive re lat io ns hip e njo ys at t e nt io n he re ce ive s fro m o t he r g irls

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47 and having an at t it u d e t hat mig ht limit his ab ilit y t o ind u lg e t hat mig ht e nd t he re lat io ns hip B o ys s ho u ld b e ab le t o e ng ag e in flirt ing w it h any g irl t he y w ant w hile g irls are limit e d t o t he ir s ing le p art ne r w he n in s u ch an e xclu s ive re lat io ns hip One art icle e ve n s t at e s no t t o p u t t o o mu ch p re s s u re o n a g u y" (H o w t o B e a G re at D at e 2008) w he n g e t t ing t o kno w a b o y o ne o n o ne T he amb ig u it y w o rks in favo r o f d is co u rag ing g irls fro m t alking ab o u t re lat io ns hip s w it h b o ys and t he re fo re t aking any init iat ive t hat is no t o n t he s e avo id ant t e rms G u ys s ay g irls nu mb e r o ne t e xt ing mis t ake is no t b e ing flirt at io u s e no u g h s o t he y ju s t lo s e int e re s t (B e ns o n, H o w t o S e nd t he Flirt ie s t T xt M s g 2008). In o ne w ay, t his d ire ct ly co nt rad ict s t he he t e ro no rmat ive co nce p t b y ad d re s s ing t he acce p t ab ilit y o f g irls b e ing ve ry fl irt at io u s w hich is a d is p lay o f a t yp e o f ag g re s s io n; ho w e ve r, it o ve rw he lming ly ad he re s t o t he co nce p t b e cau s e it s ays t hat no t o nly is it t he fe male 's jo b t o maint ain male int e re s t and t hu s t he re lat io ns hip b u t als o t hat b o ys int e re s t is he ld o nly b y t he p o t e nt ial fo r p hys ical co nt act B o ys w ant ing g irls t o co me u p w it h id e as fo r d at e s co nt rad ict s t he he t e ro no rmat ive e xp e ct at io n t hat g irls mu s t b e p as s ive re ce ive rs o f b o ys act io ns and id e as B o ys w o u ld rat he r g irls vo ice [t he ir] o p inio n and have a s ay in t he re lat io ns hip (M e t z, M y B ig g e s t D at ing P e t P e e ve s 2008), in p art b e cau s e it make s it e as ie r fo r t he b o ys t o p le as e t he ir d at e s (M e t z, Y o u r T o p 5 G u y Qu e s t io ns A ns w e re d 2008). T his at t it u d e ind icat e s t hat in g e ne ral, t e e nag e rs d o no t ad he re t o s o me t rad it io nal he t e ro no rmat ive ro le s

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48 S e ve nt e e n inclu d e s w arning s fo r g irls ab o u t w hat b e havio rs w ill re p e l b o ys w hich g e ne rally are t rans g re s s io ns ag ains t he t e ro no rmat ivit y, like s ho w ing s e xu al int e re s t o r init iat ive ins inu at ing t hat re lat io n s hip s are no t ju s t t he jo b s o f g irls and no t ap p e aling s u b t ly t o t he male lib id o t o maint ain his int e re s t C OMMU N I C ATI ON T w o majo r t yp e s o f art icle s in S e ve nt e e n mag azine are s crip t s and d e co d ing g u id e s S e ve nt e e n fre q u e nt ly p ro vid e s g irls w it h s u g g e s t io ns fo r e xact ly w hat t o s ay, o r t e xt t o b o ys t o make t he m int e re s t e d A d d it io nally, it inclu d e s e nt ire g u id e s ab o u t t he minu t e b e havio rs o f b o ys (kis s ing t e chniq u e s me t ho d s o f hand ho ld ing ) and ho w e ach variat io n can b e int e rp re t e d S e ve nt e e n fe at u re s co nt rad ict o ry art icle s re g ard ing co mmu nicat io n. One o f t he mo s t fre q u e nt t yp e s o f art icle s in t he mag azine d e co d ing male b e havio r, imp licit ly d is co u rag e s co nve rs at io n ab o u t fe e ling s as a co u p le ins t e ad t e aching g irls t o int e rp re t b o d y lang u ag e and s p e e c h t o fig u re o u t ho w he re ally" fe e ls o r w hat he re ally me ans (B e ns o n, B ack t o S cho o l L o ve D rama 2008; B e ns o n, D e co d e Y o u r D at e 2008; B e ns o n, Writ e Y o u r Flirt ie s t Y e arb o o k M e s s ag e 2008; B e ns o n, Why G u ys D u mp G irls T he y S t ill L ike 2009; M e t z, C ra ck t he B ro C o d e 2008; M e t z, Why D id n t H e M ake a M o ve ? 2008; M e t z, D o e s H e R e ally L ike Y o u ? 2009; M e t z, Is H e L ying t o Y o u ? 2009; M e t z, S ne aky Ways t o T e ll... 2009; N u s s b au m, D o Y o u G ive L o ve a S e co nd C hance 2008; N u s s b au m, What s U p w it h Y o u T w o ? 2008); t his p ro mo t e d d e t e ct ive w o rk b y g irls fo s t e rs a

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49 g irls ve rs u s b o ys at t it u d e in ro mant ic re lat io ns hip s w hich e nab le s t he co nt inu at io n o f s e p arat e g e nd e r ro le s and inhib it s g e nd e r e g alit arianis m. Firs t it imp lie s t hat all b o ys are t he s ame and s imp le e no u g h t hat t he re are o nly o ne t o t hre e e xp lanat io ns fo r t he w ays in w hich t he y int e ract w it h g irls If a g u y s it s ne xt t o yo u (no t acro s s fro m yo u ), he 's t rying t o p ro ve ho w mu ch he like s yo u (M e t z, D o e s H e R e ally L ike Y o u ? 2009). S e co nd it b acks t he as s u mp t io n t hat b o ys are no t int e re s t e d in re lat io ns hip s b e yo nd t he ir p o t e nt ial fo r s e xu al g rat ificat io n and s t at u s w hile g irls are mo re inve s t e d in t he e mo t io nal s id e ; t he re fo re t o avo id t he afo re me nt io ne d s mo t he ring (M e t z, C u t e G irls K e e p Flirt ing w it h M y G u y! 2008), g irls mu s t d e cip he r t he b o ys e mo t io ns b y t he ms e lve s ins t e ad o f s imp ly as king Fu rt he rmo re no ne o f S e ve nt e e n 's re as o ns fo r w hy he d id n't make a mo ve (M e t z, Why D id n t H e M ake a M o ve ? 2008), he act s d iffe re nt at s cho o l" (B e ns o n, B ack t o S cho o l L o ve D rama 2008), o r he b ro ke u p w it h yo u (B e ns o n, Why G u ys D u mp G irls T he y S t ill L ike 2009) inclu d e he ju s t d o e s no t like yo u ; ins t e ad t he y cit e he had b ad b re at h," he 's ins e cu re (M e t z, Why D id n t H e M ake a M o ve ? 20 08), he 's fe e ling a macho ne e d t o s ho w his b u d d ie s t hat he s t ill has mo re lo yalt y t o t he m t han yo u (B e ns o n, B ack t o S cho o l L o ve D rama 2008), he d o e s n't have t ime ," o r he 's b ro ke (B e ns o n, Why G u ys D u mp G irls T he y S t ill L ike 2009). While t his is ce rt ainly a w ay t o d is co u rag e lo w s e lf e s t e e m, as it p re s e nt s g irls w it h alt e rnat ive e xp lanat io ns t han s e lf b lame it claims t hat all g irls can b e like d b y all b o ys if t he b o y d o e s no t have p e rs o nal p ro b le ms T his is

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50 no t o nly co nt rad ict o ry o f mu ch o f t he m ag azine b u t als o hig hly u nre alis t ic. C o mmu nicat io n is s o s t ig mat ize d t hat a b o y w ho d ivu lg e s d e t ails ab o u t his re lat io ns hip w it h his cu rre nt g irlfrie nd t o a fe male frie nd is d e e me d a b ad b o yfrie nd and e mo t io nal[ly] che at ing (B e ns o n, Fo rb id d e n L o ve 2008). A s a re s u lt o f d is co u rag ing int e r g e nd e r co mmu nicat io n, g irls co nt inu e t o b e lie ve t hat b o ys are inhe re nt ly d iffe re nt t han t he y, and are t he re fo re co nfu s ing in s p it e o f t he fact t hat e ach o ne can b e analyze d in t he s ame w ay. N u s s b au m ad mit s t hat t rying t o d e cip he r his s ig nals le ave s yo u e ve n mo re co nfu s e d (N u s s b au m, What s U p w it h Y o u T w o ? 2008), b u t in t he s ame art icle t e lls g irls ho w t o d e co d e t he w ay b o ys ho ld t he ir hand imp lying t hat t his d e cip he ring is in fact ne ce s s ary w he n d e aling w it h b o ys GOOD /B AD B OYF R I EN D S T he ne e d a b o yfrie nd me nt alit y in hig h s cho o l g irls (M e t z, A ll A b o u t G u ys 2008) e vo ke s a s o rt o f d e s p e rat io n e xe mp lifie d b y ho w S e ve nt e e n e nco u rag e s g irls t o lo o k at all b o ys as b o yfrie nd mat e rial (B e ns o n, L o ve R e s o lu t i o ns 2007; B e ns o n, M ake Ove r Y o u r L o ve L ife 2008). B y co ns id e ring t he s e b o ys in a ro mant ic s e ns e e ve n if w it ho u t t he b o yfrie nd d e s p e rat io n and p re s s u re g irls w o u ld no t find t he m at t ract ive g irls w ill re alize t hat [t he ir] w o rld is fu ll o f re lat io ns hip s w ait ing t o hap p e n" (B e ns o n, M ake Ove r Y o u r L o ve L ife 2008) and all g u ys have lo ve and hu g s t o g ive !" (B e ns o n, L o ve R e s o lu t io ns 2007) T he s e are no t acco rd ing t o S e ve nt e e n t he o nly crit e ria fo r b e ing a g o o d

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51 b o yfrie nd A g o o d b o yfrie nd is re q u ire d t o g o t hro u g h t he mo s t s u p e rficial mo t io ns While g irls mu s t p hys ically s ho w s u p p o rt (B e ns o n, B e t he U lt imat e G irlfrie nd 2009) and t rad it io nally nu rt u ring b e havio rs (M cC art ne y, G e t H im t o R e ve al H is S w e e t S id e 2008) (B e ns o n, B e t he U lt imat e G irlf rie nd 2009) b o ys mu s t care fu lly flat t e r and e ng ag e in t yp ical g e nt le manly" act io ns (M e t z, Find an A mazing B o yfrie nd 2009) t hat p u t g irls in p as s ive p ro t e ct e d ro le s T o g e t t his g o o d b o yfrie nd s t at u s S e ve nt e e n inclu d e s an art icle t hat g irls are in s t ru ct e d t o s ho w t he ir b o yfrie nd s p ro vid ing a lis t o f co mp lime nt s fo r g irls t o g ive t o [t he ir] g u y[s ]" (B e ns o n, I L o ve Whe n H e S ays ... 2007), s o t he b o ys can kno w e xact ly w hich s e nt e nce s g irls like t o he ar, like ho w g o o d t he ir s hamp o o s me lls and t hat t he b o ys mo ms like t he m. T he e xis t e nce o f t his art icle ackno w le d g e s t hat b o ys als o ne e d re lat io ns hip ad vice in s p it e o f t he d e art h o f o fficial p u b licat io ns fo r t he m, t ho u g h t hat t he g irl is e xp e ct e d t o p ro vid e him w it h t his s crip t maint ains t hat it t he g irl's ne e d fo r t he e mo t io nal int imacy o f a re lat io ns hip t hat maint ains it A d d it io nally, g irls s ho u ld e xp e ct g o o d b o yfrie nd s t o w alk o n t he ro ad s id e w he n [t he y are ] w alking t o g e t he r o n t he s id e w alk," ho ld o p e n t he car d o o r" fo r t he m, and s e e m p ro t e c t ive o f his s is t e rs (M e t z, Find an A mazing B o yfrie nd 2009). A ll o f t he s e act io ns re q u ire a d e s ire fo r he t e ro no rmat ivit y, as t he g irl mu s t re main p as s ive and d e s ire t he b o y t o e xe rcis e t he s ame p ro t e ct ive ne s s o f he r, as b y t his d e finit io n, g irls ar e w e ake r t han b o ys and ne e d p ro t e ct ing A n e xt ra s p e cial b o yfrie nd s u rp ris e s his g irlfrie nd w it h cu t e no t e s and flo w e rs (M e t z, Find an A mazing B o yfrie nd 2009), in o t he r w o rd s an as s e rt ive b e ne fact o r.

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52 E xp licit ly b ad b o yfrie nd b e havio rs have s o me co n ne ct io n t o p hys ical int imacy and t he he t e ro no rmat ive ne e d o f g irls fo r e mo t io nal, rat he r t han p hys ical, re lat io ns hip s T he mag azine 's acce p t ance o f ho o king u p re lat io ns hip s in co nt ras t w it h t his p art icu lar at t it u d e can le ave g irls w o nd e ring e ve n in t he co nt e xt o f ho w t o d e cid e w hat b o ys are w o rt h t he ir t ime w hat b e havio rs are acce p t ab le fro m t he m. While b o yfrie nd d e s p e rat io n is e nd o rs e d fo r g irls t he s ame in b o ys is u nacce p t ab le A ny g u y w ho can't ke e p his hand s t o hims e lf o r is t o o q u ick t o s ay t h at he w ant s t o b e w it h yo u fo re ve r w ill" b e a b ad b o yfrie nd b e cau s e it 's an ind icat o r t hat all he 's re ally int e re s t e d in is g e t t ing a g irlfrie nd -and any g irl he find s w ill d o (M e t z, H e ll B e a G o o d B o yfrie nd 2008). G irls w ho ne e d e mo t io nal re lat io ns hip s mu s t fe e l like s p e cial lit t le s no w flake s b e fo re g iving int o b o ys ne e d s fo r p hys ical re lat io ns hip s If a b o y d is mis s e s t hat ne e d he is no t w o rt hy. T his d o e s no t fit w it h ho o king u p re lat io ns hip s and s e rve s t o e xe mp lify t he mixt u re o f he avily he t e ro no rmat ive me s s ag e s ab o u t p u rit y, and t he mo re p ro g re s s ive o ne s t hat ackno w le d g e fe male s e xu al d e s ire N u s s b au m lo o ks t o s e al t his d is cre p ancy b y s aying It 's a b ad s ig n if a g u y is o kay ho o king u p w it h yo u b u t p re t e nd s he d o e s n't kno w yo u in fro nt o f his frie nd s T his g u y is ju s t having fu n: H e d o e s n't w ant anyt hing s e rio u s M o ve o n!" (N u s s b au m, What s U p w it h Y o u T w o ? 2008). While ig no ring s o me o ne is ve ry ru d e t he re as o ning g ive n fo r w hy it is u nacce p t ab le d is re g ard s t his in favo r o f he t e ro no rma t ive s t and ard s G irls s ho u ld o nly e ng ag e in t he s e ho o k u p re lat io ns hip s if t he re is p o t e nt ial fo r s o me t hing s e rio u s ." P hys ical re lat io ns hip s are ju s t having fu n" fo r b o ys b u t are

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53 ind u lg ing male lib id o fo r mo re e mo t io nal e nd s fo r g irls ; t he re is no re c o g nize d p o s s ib ilit y t hat t he g irl co u ld ju s t b e having fu n" as w e ll. B o ys g irls s ho u ld no t g e t invo lve d w it h ig no re t he d e mand fo r fe male p u rit y o u t s id e o f e mo t io nal re lat io ns hip s D OI N G TH E WOR K G o ing o n d at e s g e ne rally invo lve s a ce rt ain s crip t S o m e o ne mu s t init iat e co nt act T w o p e o p le mu s t ag re e t o make a d at e w it h o ne p e rs o n as king t he o t he r. S o me o ne o r b o t h t o g e t he r mu s t d e cid e w hat t o d o o n t he d at e If t he d at e co s t s mo ne y, s o me o ne mu s t p ay. S o me o ne s ho u ld call t he o t he r aft e rw ard if t he d at e w as s u cce s s fu l. H e t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s d ict at e t hat male s mu s t b e act ive in all o f t he s e cat e g o rie s : as king g irls o u t d e cid ing act ivit ie s p aying calling C o nt e mp o rary g irls ho w e ve r, are s o cially p e rmit t e d t o b e act ive in all o f t he s e re alms (M e t z, S ne aky Ways t o T e ll... 2009). It is s o o b vio u s (t o s o me o ne s p e cifically lo o king ) t hat t rad it io nal g e nd e r ro le s re ce ive p re fe re nce t ho u g h, cre at ing t he s o rt o f inco ns is t e ncy charact e ris t ic o f S e ve nt e e n G irls can make t he firs t mo ve and init iat e c o nt act w it h a b o y cas u ally" (B e ns o n, P lan t he Flirt ie s t S u mme r N ig ht 2008; B e ns o n, S ay t he Flirt ie s t T hing s 2008; C raw fo rd H o w t o G e t t he H ard t o G e t G u y 2008). T he y can as k t o b o rro w p e ncils (B e ns o n, L o ve R e s o lu t io ns 2007), accid e nt ally" hit b o ys w it h fris b e e s (B e ns o n, G e t A ny G u y at t he B e ach 2008), s ay hi (L o ve L e s s o ns fro m...B ro d y Je nne r 2007; B e ns o n, M ake Ove r Y o u r L o ve L ife 2008), o r as k

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54 him ab o u t hims e lf (B e ns o n, G e t A ny G u y at t he B e ach ). A b o y as king a g irl t o call hi m lat e r is no t p re fe rab le b e cau s e he s t ill w ant s [he r] t o d o t he w o rk" (B e ns o n, Writ e Y o u r Flirt ie s t Y e arb o o k M e s s ag e 2008). T o as k a b o y o u t a g irl can invit e him t o hang o u t w it h a b u nch o f frie nd s and t he n g e t him alo ne (B e ns o n, P lan t he Flirt ie s t S u mme r N ig ht 2008; C raw fo rd H o w t o G e t t he H ard t o G e t G u y 2008), o r make t he invit at io n s e e m mo re fo r he r co nve nie nce like I have an e xt ra t icke t fo r t his b and (C raw fo rd H o w t o G e t t he H ard t o G e t G u y 2008). G irls are no t e nco u rag e d t o d o t he t rad it io nal w ill yo u g o o u t fo r d inne r w it h me ? On a d at e invit at io n. T hat is re s e rve d fo r b o ys w ho m g irls are e nco u rag e d t o manip u lat e int o as king t he m o u t b y hint ing ab o u t t hing s t he y w o u ld like t o d o fo r ins t ance s e e a p art icu lar mo vie o r b and (B e ns o n, M ake H im A s k Y o u Ou t 2008; N u s s b au m, Y o u r S u mme r o f L o ve 2008), and ju s t ho p ing t he b o ys w ill t ake act io n. Init iat ing co nt act and as king fo r d at e s is fairly e g alit arian g e nd e r w is e b u t as king fo r re al" d at e s is s t ill t he d o main o f b o ys G irl s are als o e nco u rag e d t o cho o s e act ivit ie s fo r d at e s e s p e cially w he n as ke d t o co nt rib u t e Ins t e ad o f t he p as s ive w hat e ve r yo u w ant t o d o ," a mo re act ive act u al s u g g e s t io n is p re fe rab le (B e ns o n, L o ve R e s o lu t io ns 2007; M e t z, M y B ig g e s t D at ing P e t P e e ve s 2008). T ho u g h a b o y p aying fo r a d at e is him d o ing s o me t hing nice (M e t z, M y B ig g e s t D at ing P e t P e e ve s 2008), rat he r t han alw ays e xp e ct e d and s p lit t ing t he b ill is mo re co mmo n, a p o s it ive as s o ciat io n w it h mas cu line co nt ro l o f finance s e xi s t s G irlfrie nd s are e xp e ns ive (B e ns o n, Why G u ys D u mp G irls T he y S t ill

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55 L ike 2009) as e vid e nce d b y t he o ve rw he lming p o s it ivit y framing t he s t at is t ic 49% [o f b o ys ] s p e nd mo re t han $50 t o t ake [a g irl] o u t o n a d at e !" (M e t z, R e ad H is M ind 2008). A b o y w ho ne ve r p ays is no t re g ard e d as inve s t e d in t he re lat io ns hip and may ne e d re p lacing w it h a b e t t e r b o yfrie nd !" (M e t z, H e lp M y B o yfrie nd N e ve r P ays 2007) A s s u ch, if a b o y re ally like s a g irl he w ill p ay fo r b o t h me als (H o w t o T e ll If H e s T o t ally Int o Y o u 2007). It is w o rt h no t ing t hat b o ys like it w he n g irls p ay o nce in a w hile (B e ns o n, B e t he U lt imat e G irlfrie nd 2009), as it ind icat e s s o me d e viat io n fro m t rad it io nal ro le s ; ho w e ve r, t he valu e o f b o t h b o ys and g irls g e ne rally d e p e nd s s o me w hat o n ho w mu ch t he b o y s p e nd s o n a d at e A cco rd ing t o a p o ll inclu d e d in t he mag azine b o t h b o ys and g irls b e lie ve t hat b o ys s ho u ld make t he firs t co nt act aft e r a d at e (Y o u r H o o ku p C he at S he e t 2009). P H YS I C AL I TY P hys ical int imacy fo llo w s a fair ly t rad it io nal id e o lo g y: b o ys are p e rmit t e d mo re act ivit y and d e s ire t han g irls and g irls are g e ne rally d is co u rag e d fro m s ho w ing o ve rt d e s ire ; ho w e ve r, kis s ing o n d at e s is p re s e nt ly mains t re am (B e ns o n, D o Y o u T alk T o o M u ch A b o u t Y o u r G u y? 2009), as is g ive n t he at t e nt io n p aid t o it ho o king u p w hich ap p are nt ly co u nt e rs t his s o cially d e s irab le p u rit y (t ho u g h, as me nt io ne d if N u s s b au m is t o b e b e lie ve d g irls p art icip at io n has t he u nd e rlying mo t ive o f a fu t u re mo re s e rio u s re lat io ns hip [N u s s b au m,

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56 Wha t s U p w it h Y o u T w o ? 2008]). T his u nclarit y can le ave g irls u ns u re o f t he s o cial co ns e q u e nce s o f s e xu al act ivit y, w hat co ns e q u e nce s e ng ag ing t o p le as e t he e ve r lib id ino u s b o ys w ill have and w hat co ns e q u e nce s e ng ag ing t o p le as e t he ms e lve s w ill have S e v e nt e e n e nco u rag e s g irls t o fo s t e r re lat io ns hip s b e fo re having s e x (B e ns o n, D e co d e Y o u r D at e 2008; B e ns o n, G u y S e cre t s N o One E ve r T o ld Y o u 2009; B e ns o n, H o o ku p D o s D o n t s 2009), e ve n u s ing b o yfrie nd d e s p e rat io n as ju s t ificat io n, b y s aying b o ys w il l have mo re re s p e ct fo r yo u if yo u re fu s e t o ho o k u p w it ho u t g e t t ing int o a re lat io ns hip (B e ns o n, Ou t p lay t he P laye r 2009). Ins t e ad o f e ng ag ing in o ve rt s e xu alit y, g irls s ho u ld co me u p w it h s ne aky w ays t o t o u ch b o ys like p alm re ad ing T w is t e r o r mo vin g clo s e r t o t he m at t he mo vie s (B e ns o n, Warm U p Y o u r Wint e r! 2008; M e t z, M y B ig g e s t D at ing P e t P e e ve s 2008; N u s s b au m, What s U p w it h Y o u T w o ? 2008). T his p re s e rve s t he ir g o o d g irl ap p e arance b u t allo w s s o me d ive rg e nt e xp re s s io n o f int e re s t In o nly o ne ins t ance in t w o ye ars d o e s S e ve nt e e n e xp licit ly t e ll g irls t hat t he y may init iat e a kis s b e cau s e he 'll b e t u rne d o n b y yo u r co nfid e nce !" (N u s s b au m, Y o u r S u mme r o f L o ve 2008), ind icat ing it s u niq u e ne s s S e ve nt e e n p ro p ag at e s t he id e a t hat b o ys w ill d o anyt hing t o ke e p s e x g o ing (M e anle y, S e x L ie s H e T e lls Y o u 2008) and t hat t he ir s e xu al d e s ire is co mmo n and nat u ral. A g irl s ho u ld as s u me t hat a 19 ye ar o ld b o y has had s e x b e fo re (B e ns o n, G u y S e cre t s N o One E ve r T o ld Y o u 2009), and 36% o f b o y s claim t o have had s e x w it h s o me o ne t he y w o u ld no t d at e (M e t z, What I N e ve r

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57 T o ld M y E x 2008). While 57% w o u ld no t d o t his (Y o u r H o o ku p C he at S he e t 2009), t he he t e ro no rmat ive s u p p o s it io n t hat male s ne e d s e xu al co nt act re g ard le s s o f re lat io ns hip s t at u s s u p p o rt s t his b e havio r. M ino r" s e xu al act ivit y, like kis s ing is p re s u me d an acce p t ab le p ract ice in t e e nag e d at ing b u t fre q u e nt o ve rt fe male s e xu al d e s ire is no t ; in co nt ras t b o ys are e xp e ct e d t o w ant s e xu al act ivit y. H o o king u p re lat io ns hip s co mp o u nd t he co nfu s io n, b y e xis t ing as an e nt ire cat e g o ry o f re lat io ns hip in w hich g irls can, t o an e xt e nt s e xu ally e xp re s s t he ms e lve s C ON C L U S I ON S e ve nt e e n t he mo s t p o p u lar t e e nag e mag azine in t he U nit e d S t at e s in 2010, o ft e n inclu d e s d at ing and ro mant ic ad vice fo r it s fe male au d ie nce t hat d o e s mo re t o mu d d y t he is s u e s t han t o clarify ap p ro p riat e b e havio r. It imp licit ly p re s e nt s b o t h e q u al id e as o f g e nd e r e xp e ct at io ns and o ne s t hat s t rict ly ad he re t o he t e ro no rmat ive s t and ard s t hat d ict at e p as s ivit y in fe m ale s w hich fre q u e nt ly co nt rad ict e ach o t he r. T he mo s t e g alit arian ro le s are p e rmit t e d in t he fu nd ame nt als o f d at ing like as king s o me o ne o u t and t o an e xt e nt in w hat b o ys like C o mmu nicat io n is s u e s w hat b o ys d is like in g irls e xp e ct at io ns fo r b o yfri e nd s and s e xu alit y all he avily favo r u ne q u al s t and ard s u s u ally re vo lving aro u nd fe male s e xu al e xp re s s io n. T he s e u ne q u al s e xu al s t and ard s co nt ras t w it h t he ap p are nt acce p t ab ilit y o f p u re ly p hys ical re lat io ns hip s T he inco ns is t e ncie s in many o f t he s e cat e g o rie s co u ld le ave g irls w ho re ad S e ve nt e e n fo r ad vice

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58 co nfu s e d ab o u t s o cially acce p t ab le b e havio r in re lat io ns hip s w it h b o ys w hich co u ld co nt rib u t e t o t he ir p u rchas e o f mo re mag azine s in an at t e mp t t o g le an e ve n mo re info rmat io n t o re s o lve t he re s u lt ing s e lf d o u b t and u nce rt aint y.

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59 4 C o nclu s io ns L ife s t yle /d at ing g u id e s fro m t he 1950s and is s u e s o f S e ve nt e e n mag azine fro m 2007 2009 d iffe r s o me w hat in t e rms o f t he ir p e rmit t e d g e nd e r ro le s and p re s e nt at io ns While d at ing g u id e s ad he re s t rict ly t o s t and ard s o f he ro no rmat ivit y t hat e mp has ize male co nt ro l and ag g re s s io n and fe male acq u ie s ce nce S e ve nt e e n is in s o me w ays mo re p ro g re s s ive w it h are as t hat d o no t have s u ch rig id s e p arat ive ru le s b u t s o me co nt rad ict o ry o ne s T his inco ns is t e ncy, co nt ras t e d w it h t he 1950s ce rt aint y, e xp o s e s t he t e ns io n b e t w e e n maint aining t he s t at u s q u o o f g e nd e re d b e havio r, and e q u alizing t he s e arb it rarily g e nd e re d ro le s T he ru le s t hat have had any d u rat io n are mo re nu me ro u s t han t he chang e s w e s e e b e t w e e n t he t w o d e cad e s ; ho w e ve r, t he chang e s p ro ve mo re s ig nificant t han t he s imilarit ie s ins o far as t he fre e d o ms t he y allo w are mo re e nco mp as s ing t han t he limit s Ways in w hich t he p ro mo t e d d at ing s ys t e m has no t chang e d inclu d e t he co nt inu at io n o f t he imp o rt ance o f d at ing fo r g irls p re fe rre d male ag g re s s io n o ve r fe male male d e s ire fo r e vid e nt ly s e xu ally p u re fe male s t he ine vit ab ilit y o f b o ys s e xu al d e s ire and inhib it io n o f g irls in ce rt ain circu ms t ance s and g irls p laying hard t o g e t D iffe re nce s inclu d e p e rmis s io n fo r g i rls t o make co nt act w it h b o ys fo r ins t ance b y calling o r t e xt ing t he m and as king t he m o u t o n d at e s and incre as e d acce p t ab ilit y o f p hys ical re lat io ns hip s T he s e

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60 chang e s in t he lit e rat u re are p o s s ib le b e cau s e t he s u b o rd inat io n o f fe male s in t he U nit e d S t a t e s has d e cre as e d d u e t o fe minis t mo ve me nt s t hat have p ro d u ce d p o licy chang e s T he d o minant cu lt u re has chang e d mo re s lo w ly, re s is t ing t he d e viant (fe minis t ) g ro u p (S u mme rs E ffle r 2002), and s o s o me he t e ro no rmat ive valu e s are re t aine d T he co mp aris o n b e t w e e n t he s e t w o t ime p e rio d s b e g ins in t he cat e g o rie s int o w hich I s o rt e d t he d at a. S o me cat e g o rie s have e q u ivale nt s in t he o t he r t ime p e rio d s t ho u g h s o me d o no t I o u t line t he s e in t he chart b e lo w 1950s 2000s Incit ing M as cu linit y/Fe mininit y (p art s o f) What B o ys L ike D e s irab ilit y What B o ys L ike What B o ys H at e G o o d /B ad B o yfrie nd s P o lit e s s e /R u le s D o ing t he Wo rk S t at u s o f D at ing (p art s o f) G o o d /B ad B o yfrie nd s S e xu alit y P hys icalit y N o ne S t at u s N o ne C o mmu nicat io n T he cat e g o rie s t hat d o no t have e q u ivale nt s s ho w chang e s in t he s e d o cu me nt s t re at me nt o f d at ing and g e nd e r ro le s T he 1950s incit ing mas cu linit y/fe mininit y" t e lls g irls in no u nce rt ain w o rd s ho w t o t re at a b o y s o he w ill fe e l like a M A N (B rand o w 1954: 66) and ho w b o ys s ho u ld make g irl s fe e l

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61 like fairy p rince s s e s B o ys and g irls canno t claim t he ir o w n me mb e rs hip o f t he ir g e nd e r w it ho u t a d is t inct o p p o s it e t o co u nt e r t he s e p re s crib e d mas cu line and fe minine t rait s and s o me o ne t o p ro ve t hat t he y fill t he ir p re s crib e d ro le S e ve nt e e n d o e s no t d is cu s s ho w g irls s ho u ld make b o ys fe e l manly, ins t e ad u s ing t he p hras e like a s t u d ." T his d o e s no t o nly imp licit ly e nco u rag e g irls t o make b o ys fe e l mas cu line b u t als o t ie s t his mas cu linit y t o s e xu alit y, w hich e xhib it s t he incre as e d acce p t ab ilit y o f t e e nag e (male ) s e xu alit y as co mp are d t o t he 1950s S e ve nt e e n 's e mp has is o n co u p le s re lat io ns hip s t at u s e s w it h s ix cat e g o rie s and ru le s fo r d e fining t he m, d e mo ns t rat e s a he ig ht e ne d ne e d fo r d e finit io n. While in t he 1950s t he re w e re o nly t w o s e mi d e fine d o p t io ns g o ing o n d at e s and g o ing s t e ad y, t e e nag e rs may s t ill have e ng ag e d in re lat io ns hip s e xp licat e d b y S e ve nt e e n like hang ing o u t ." S p e cific d e finit io ns fo r t e e nag e re lat io ns hip s have incre as e d in imp o rt ance as ve ry p u b lic d is p lays o f t his s t at u s like Face b o o k, w hich inclu d e s s ing le ," it 's co mp licat e d w it h [w ho me ve r]," and in a re lat io ns hip w it h [w ho me ve r]." S e ve nt e e n 's inclu s io n o f is s u e s o f co mmu nicat io n d e mo ns t rat e s t he id e a o f t he s e re lat io ns hip s as act u al int e rp e rs o nal re lat io ns hip s ra t he r t han s imp ly cas e s o f ne e d ing an e s co rt t o imp o rt ant e ve nt s o r p u re ly fo r s t at u s re as o ns 1950s d at ing g u id e s d o no t ad d re s s t his t o p ic o r t he p o t e nt ial fo r t e e nag e co u p le s t o g e t int o arg u me nt s at all. In t he 1950s a g irl's s t at u s is mo re co nne ct e d t o having a d at e t han a

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62 b o y's (B rand o w 1954; C lark 1959), w hile in t he 2000s hig h s cho o l is all ab o u t g e t t ing a b o yfrie nd (M e t z, A ll A b o u t G u ys 2008). G irls mu s t co ns id e r b o ys t he y o t he rw is e w o u ld no t ju s t t o o b t ain t he co ve t e d t ro p hy o f a d at e o r b o yfrie nd (B e ns o n, L o ve R e s o lu t io ns 2007; B e ns o n, Writ e Y o u r Flirt ie s t Y e arb o o k M e s s ag e 2008B rand o w 1954; C lark 1959). T he re is no me nt io n o f b o ys having t o d at e o u t s id e o f t he ir p e rs o nal s t and ard s ind icat ing t hat it is mo re imp o rt ant fo r g irls t o d at e and t he re fo re t he y mu s t w id e n t he ir p o t e nt ial d at e p o o l. M ys t e rio u s g irls have maint aine d t he ir p o p u larit y fo r t he p as t 60 ye ars A g irl in t he 1950s mu s t avo id chas ing a b o y b y g iving him any ind icat io n t hat s he like s him b e fo re he as ks he r fo r a d at e fo r fe ar o f b e ing t o o ag g re s s ive and s caring him aw ay (B rand o w 1954: 63, 71; C lark 1959: 48). G irls in t he 2000s canno t le t a b o y s he is no t alre ad y d at ing kno w s he like s him t o o mu ch e it he r. T he mo re availab le s he is t o him, t he fas t e r he w il l lo s e int e re s t b e cau s e g u ys are int rig u e d b y a g irl t hat make s t he m w o rk fo r he r at t e nt io n" (B e ns o n, What s K illing Y o u r G ame ? 2008; N u s s b au m, Y o u r S u mme r o f L o ve ). B o ys d o no t re ce ive ins t ru ct io ns fo r ho w t o at t ract a g irl's at t e nt io n. T his co nt in u at io n e mp has ize s t he re s p o ns ib ilit y o f t he g irl t o maint ain t he b o y's int e re s t b e cau s e s he has mo re inve s t e d in t he e mo t io nal re lat io ns hip t han he d o e s B o ys p e rce ive g irls w ho w e ar t o o mu ch make u p o r (q u ickly) init iat e any s o rt o f s e xu al co nt act as che ap o r s lu t t y" (B e ns o n, T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n 2008; B rand o w 1954: 159 60; C ro u s e 1955), and t he re fo re in vio lat io n o f o ne o f t he chie f t e nant s o f he t e ro no rmat ivit y; s o cie t y re s e rve s e xp re s s io n o f p hys ical

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63 d e s ire fo r b o ys K is s ing t o o q u ickly me ans a g irl is no t re s p e ct ab le (D u vall 1950: 142), and a b o y w o nd e rs ho w many p e o p le [s he has ] d o ne t his t o (B e ns o n, T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n 2008). T he g irl's p u rit y is q u e s t io ne d and d e t e rmine d no ne xis t e nt s imp ly b e cau s e s he kis s e s o ne b o y, ind icat ing t ha t circu ms t ance s u nd e r w hich, e ve n no w a g irl can init iat e s e xu al co nt act are variab le and vag u e It re ve als s o cial re liance o n e xp re s s e d fe male p u rit y and t hat male init iat ive is s t ro ng ly p re fe rre d T he as s o ciat io n o f mo ne y w it h mas cu linit y p re vails t h o u g h no t as s t rict ly as in t he 1950s S p lit t ing t he b ill is no t p e rce ive d as s o me ho rrib ly e mas cu lat ing t rave s t y; ho w e ve r, t he amo u nt a b o y s p e nd s o n a g irl s t ill ind icat e s ho w inve s t e d he is in t he re lat io ns hip (M e t z, H e lp M y B o yfrie nd N e ve r P ays 2 007). S o w hile t he b o y p aying w as an ab s o lu t e re q u ire me nt (C lark 1959), it re mains mu ch mo re co mmo n t han t he alt e rnat ive re fle ct ing o ve rall male financial d o minance in s o cie t y, and incre as e s in fe male financial ind e p e nd e nce A lt ho u g h S e ve nt e e n s ays no t hing as e xp licit as b o ys have a s e x d rive s o s t ro ng it o ve rru le s re as o n" (C ro u s e 1955: 153), it d o e s t e ll g irls t o e xp e ct b o ys t o w ant s e x, and t hat t he y w ill s ay ab s o lu t e ly anyt hing t o co nt inu e o nce it has s t art e d (M e anle y, S e x L ie s H e T e lls Y o u 2008). T he s t at e me nt b e ne at h t he s e ns at io nalis m is re as o nab le : b o ys w ant s e x. T he re as o n t his is p ro b le mat ic is t hat b o ys are co nt inu o u s ly allo w e d mo re fre e d o m o f e xp re s s io n t han g irls w ho s ho cking ly, als o w ant s e x. Ove rall, t his kind o f lit e rat u re has b e co m e mo re s e xu ally p e rmis s ive

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64 K is s e s are as s u me d in d at ing re lat io ns hip s at t his t ime (B e ns o n, D o Y o u T alk T o o M u ch ab o u t Y o u r G u y? 2009), w hile in t he 1950s t he y w e re care fu lly g u ard e d (B rand o w 1954). D iffe re nt lab e ls fo r re lat io ns hip s e xis t s p e cificall y t o acco mmo d at e t his acce p t e d p hys icalit y (N u s s b au m, What s U p w it h Y o u T w o ? 2008), and g irls are e ve n ju s t o nce e nco u rag e d t o init iat e a kis s (N u s s b au m, Y o u r S u mme r o f L o ve 2008). T his re p re s e nt s a p o s it ive p ro g re s s io n b e cau s e t o an e xt e nt t e e na g e rs can e ng ag e in p hys ical int imacy t hat fe e ls g o o d w it ho u t fe e ling like s u ch e xp re s s io n is w ro ng and w ill ru in t he ir chance s fo r marriag e (B rand o w 1954). K is s ing is re lat ive ly harmle s s and marriag e g o e s u nme nt io ne d re fle ct ing t he incre as e in ag e fo r m arriag e (E s t imat e d A g e at Firs t M arriag e 2006), and t he re fo re d e cre as e d re le vance t o hig h s cho o le rs b e t w e e n p o s t Wo rld War II A me rica and no w A no t he r s ig nificant chang e in p ro mo t e d g e nd e r ro le s in t e e nag e d at ing is t hat g irls are s o cially allo w e d t o i nit iat e co nt act and e ve n d at e s w it h b o ys T he y can int ro d u ce t he ms e lve s (L o ve L e s s o ns fro m...B ro d y Je nne r 2007; B e ns o n, L o ve R e s o lu t io ns 2007; B e ns o n, G e t A ny G u y at t he B e ach 2008; B e ns o n, Y o u r U lt imat e P art y G u id e 2008) w it ho u t w ait ing f o r t he b o y o r a frie nd t o make an int ro d u ct io n (C ro u s e 1955). T he y are e nco u rag e d t o call (o r t e xt ) b o ys o n t he p ho ne (B e ns o n, H o w t o S e nd t he Flirt ie s t t xt ms g 2008; B e ns o n, Y o u r U lt imat e P art y G u id e 2008; B e ns o n, P lan t he Flirt ie s t S u mme r N ig ht 2008; B e ns o n, B e t he U lt imat e G irlfrie nd 2009; N u s s b au m, What s U p w it h Y o u T w o ? 2008; N u s s b au m, Y o u r S u mme r o f L o ve 2008), w hich w as a s o cial

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65 at ro cit y and e nt ire ly t o o fo rw ard in t he 1950s (B rand o w 1954; C lark 1959; D u vall 1950). G irls can e ve n as k b o ys fo r d at e s no w (B e ns o n, S ay t he Flirt ie s t T hing s 2008; B e ns o n, Y o u r U lt imat e P art y G u id e 2008; B e ns o n, P lan t he Flirt ie s t S u mme r N ig ht 2008; C raw fo rd H o w t o G e t t he H ard t o G e t G u y 2008; M e t z, S ne aky Ways t o T e ll... 2008). G e nd e r e g alit ar ianis m in t his s e ns e I b e lie ve is t he mo s t s ig nificant o f all o f t he s imilarit ie s and d iffe re nce s b e t w e e n t he ru le s imp o s e d o n b o ys and g irls b e t w e e n t he 1950s and t he lat e 2000s b e cau s e it g ive s g irls t he ab ilit y t o cho o s e w it h w ho m t he y s p e nd t he ir t im e ins t e ad o f ho w t he y had t o w ait t o b e cho s e n b y b o ys and ju s t ho p e t he o ne t he y had int e re s t in w o u ld cho o s e t he m. A g irl has ag e ncy in t he fo rmat io n o f he r o w n re lat io ns hip s C o ns is t e ncy in ro le s and ru le s fo r t e e nag e d at e rs acro s s d iffe re nt b o o ks in t he 1950s d ire ct ly co nt ras t s t he inco ns is t e ncy o f t he s e ro le s fo u nd in o ne mag azine S e ve nt e e n o r e ve n o ne art icle t he re in. T his inco ns is t e ncy re fle ct s t he chang e in t he e xp e ct at io ns o f male s and fe male s o ve rall in s o cie t y, as s ho w n t hro u g h p o licy chang e s and act ivis m like fe minis t mo ve me nt s and t he co nfu s io n as t o w he t he r ne w p ro g re s s ive id e als are mo re ap p ro p riat e t han t rad it io nal o ne s T his chang e has b e e n mad e p o s s ib le t hro u g h s o me p e o p le re je ct ing t he s t at u s q u o o f g e nd e r ro le s and fig ht ing fo r m o re g e nd e r e q u alit y, t ho u g h t ho s e w ho are hap p y, o r g ain e mo t io nal e ne rg y, w it h t he ro le s e xis t e nce w o u ld e xp lain t he s imilarit y in g e nd e r ro le s fro m t he 1950s t o 2000s (S u mme rs E ffle r 2002). T ho u g h mo re s imilarit ie s t han d iffe re nce s e xis t in g e nd e r ro le s in t e e nag e d at ing b e t w e e n t he 1950s and no w and he t e ro no rmat ive inve s t me nt s e ve re ly limit s

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66 fe male s e xu al e xp re s s io n; t he chang e is mo re s ig nificant b e cau s e g irls can t ake init iat ive s as far as w ho t he y invo lve ro mant ically in t he ir live s ins t e ad o f ju s t w ait ing and ho p ing I w o u ld p re d ict g ive n cu rre nt fe minis t act ivis m, t he d iffe re nce b e t w e e n d e s ig nat e d mas cu line and fe minine ro le s in t he U nit e d S t at e s w ill b e co me e ve n b lu rrie r o ve r t he ne xt 50 ye ars

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67 R e fe re nce s S e ve nt e e n M e d ia K it ." 2010. H e ars t M a g azine s R e t rie ve d 02/12, 2010. ( ht t p ://w w w .s e ve nt e e nme d iakit .co m/r5/s ho w kio s k.as p ? lis t ing _id =2984556& c at e g o ry_id =31771 ). E s t imat e d A g e at Firs t M arriag e b y S e x: 1890 t o t he P re s e nt ." 2006. U S C e ns u s B u re au R e t rie ve d 03/15, 2010. ( ht t p ://w w w .ce ns u s .g o v/p o p u lat io n/s o cd e mo /hh fam/ms 2.p d f ). B rand o w B e ve rly. 1954. D at e D at a; D allas : B U p s haw C arp e nt e r, L au ra M 1998. Fro m G irls int o Wo me n: S crip t s fo r S e xu alit y and R o mance in S e ve nt e e n M ag azine 1974 1994." T he Jo u rnal o f S e x R e s e arch 35(2):158 168. C hamb e rs D e b o rah, E s t e lla T inckne ll and Jo o s t Van L o o n. 2004. P e e r R e g u lat io n o f T e e nag e S e xu al Id e nt it ie s ." G e nd e r and E d u cat io n 16(3):397 415. C lark, D ick. 1959. Yo u r H ap p ie s t Ye ars N e w Y o rk: R o s ho C o rp C ris t Jo hn R 1953. H ig h S cho o l D at ing as a B e havio r S ys t e m." Marriag e and Family L iving 15(1):23 2 8. C ro u s e H e le n L 1955. Jo yce Jacks o n's G u id e t o D at ing N e w Y o rk: P re nt ice H all.

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68 D u vall, E ve lyn R M 1950. Fact s o f L ife and L o ve fo r T e e nag e rs N e w Y o rk: A s s o ciat io n P re s s Fas u la, A my M ., K im S M ille r and Je ffre y Wie ne r. 2007. T he S e xu al D o u b le S t and ard in A frican A me rican A d o le s ce nt Wo me n's S e xu al R is k R e d u ct io n S o cializat io n." Wo me n & H e alt h 46(2/3):3 21. G e rs ho n, A nd a, L K G o w e n and L au ra C o mp ian. 2004. G e nd e r S t e re o t yp e d Imag ine d D at e s and We ig ht C o nce rns in S ixt h G rad e G irls ." S e x R o le s 50(7/8):515 523. H e rman, R o b e rt D 1955. T he G o ing S t e ad y" C o mp le x: A R e E xaminat io n." Marriag e and Family L iving 17(1):36 40. H ird M yra J. and S u e Jacks o n. 2001. Whe re 'A ng e ls and 'Wu s s e s Fe ar t o T re ad : S e xu al C o e rcio n in A d o le s ce nt D at ing R e lat i o ns hip s ." Jo u rnal o f S o cio lo g y 37(1):27 43. K it zing e r, C e lia. 2005. H e t e ro no rmat ivit y in A ct io n: R e p ro d u cing t he H e t e ro s e xu al N u cle ar Family in A ft e r H o u rs M e d ical C alls ." S o cial P ro b le ms 52(4):477 498. L and is P au l H 1960. R e s e arch o n T e e n A g e D at ing ." Marriag e and Family L iving 22(3):266 267.

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69 M cH u g h, M au re e n C 2006. What d o Wo me n Want ? A N e w Vie w o f Wo me n's S e xu al P ro b le ms ." S e x R o le s 54(5/6):361 369. P o ffe nb e rg e r, T ho mas 1964. T hre e P ap e rs o n G o ing S t e ad y." T he Family L ife C o o rd inat o r 13(1):7 13. R e me z, L is a. 2000. Oral S e x amo ng A d o le s ce nt s : Is it S e x Or is it A b s t ine nce ? Family P lanning P e rs p e ct ive s 32(6):298 304. R ivad e ne yra, R o cio and M e lanie J. L e b o 2008. T he A s s o ciat io n b e t w e e n T e le vis io n Vie w ing B e havio rs and A d o le s ce nt D at ing R o le A t t it u d e s and B e havio rs ." Jo u rnal o f A d o le s ce nce 31(3):291 305. R o s e S u zanna and Ire ne H ans o n Frie ze 1989. Y o u ng S ing le s S crip t s fo r a Firs t D at e ." G e nd e r and S o cie t y 3(2):258 268. S u mme rs E ffle r, E rika. 2002. T he M icro P o t e nt ial fo r S o cial C hang e : E mo t io n, C o ns cio u s ne s s and S o cial M o ve me nt Fo rmat io n." S o cio lo g ical T he o ry 20(1):41 60. T e it le r, Ju lie n O. 2002. T re nd s in Y o u t h S e xu al Init iat io n and Fe rt ilit y in D e ve lo p e d C o u nt rie s : 1960 1995." A nnals o f t he A me rican A cad e my o f P o lit ical and S o cial S cie nce 580(, E arly A d u lt ho o d in C ro s s N at io nal P e rs p e ct ive ):134 152.

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70 Van B u re n, A b ig ail. 1959. D e ar T e e n A g e r. [N e w Y o rk]: B G e is A s s o ciat e s d is t rib u t e d b y R and o m H o u s e We ave r H ig ht o w e r, M arcu s 2003. T he B o y T u rn" in R e s e arch o n G e nd e r and E d u cat io n." R e vie w o f E d u cat io nal R e s e arch 73(4):471 498. We s t e rve lt Virg inia. 1957. G e t t ing A lo ng in t he T e e n A g e Wo rld N e w Y o rk: P u t nam.

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71 S e ve nt e e n B ib lio g rap hy Y o u r H o o ku p C he at S he e t ." 2009. S e ve nt e e n 68(2):68(2). H o w t o b e a G re at D at e : Whe n Y o u and Y o u r C ru s h P e e l Off fro m t he G ro u p at t he E nd o f t he N ig ht he re 's w hat t o d o 2008. S e ve nt e e n 67(5):90. What Y o u T hink! S e ve nt e e n R e ad e rs Vo t e d o n w hich G u y L o o ks are N o t H o t -E ve n if t he G u ys are ." 2008. S e ve nt e e n 67(3):119. H o w t o T e ll if H e 's T o t a lly int o Y o u G u y s N e ve r C o me R ig ht Ou t and S ay H o w T he y Fe e l -S o L o o k fo r T he s e S u b t le S ig nals t o K no w E xact ly W hat H e 's T hin king 2007. S e ve nt e e n 67(1):126. L o ve L e s s o ns fro m...B ro d y Je nne r: On T he H ills Y o u 'v e s e e n H im Flirt S hame le s s ly w it h L au re n -and H alf t he Ot he r P re t t y G irls in H o llyw o o d N o w H e re A re H is T ip s fo r C at ching a C u t i e L ike H im! 2007. S e ve nt e e n 67(1):132. B e ll, D rake 2008. H o w t o M ake a M o ve : A ll G u ys L o ve G e t t in g A p p ro ache d H e re 's H o w t o D o I t -and L e ave H im Want ing M o re !" S e ve nt e e n 67(3):122. B e ns o n, E lis a. 2009. B e t he U lt imat e G irlfrie nd S e ve nt e e n 68(2):64(2). -----. 2009. D o Y o u T alk T o o M u ch ab o u t Y o u r G u y? S e ve nt e e n 68(5):94(1).

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72 -----. 2009. Flirt ing T ricks T hat Wo rk A ny w he re T u rn U p t he H e at -N o M at t e r Whe r e Y o u 'r e G o ing H e re s H o w t o M ake E ve ry G u y Want Y o u in A ny S it u at io n. S e ve nt e e n 68(3):86(2). -----. 2009. G u y S e cre t s N o One E ve r T o ld Y o u S e ve nt e e n 68(5):90(2). -----. 20 09. H is B ig g e s t T u rno ff! (and H o w t o A vo id it ). S e ve nt e e n 68(4):100(2). -----. 2009. H o o ku p D o 's D o n t s : Fo rg e t E ve ryt hing Y o u K no w ab o u t D at ing T he s e R u le s W e re M ad e t o B e B ro ke n! S e ve nt e e n 69(1):110(1). -----. 2009. Ou t p lay t he P laye r." S e ve nt e e n 69(1):106(2). ----. 2009. Why G u ys D u mp G irls T he y S t ill L ike : H e S aid it Was Ove r -b u t D id H e S ay Why? T he R e al R e as o n M ig ht H ave H ad N o t hing t o D o w it h Y o u S e ve nt e e n 69(1):108(1). -----. 2009. Y o u r M o s t A w kw ard G u y P ro b s -Fixe d !" S e ve nt e e n 68(4):104(1). -----. 2008. A vo id P ro file P it falls : Whe n Y o u T w o S t art t o G e t C lo s e in R e al L ife H o w S ho u ld T hing s C hang e Online ? T he s e G u ys E xp lain!" S e ve nt e e n 67(8):111(1). -----. 2008. B ack t o S cho o l L o ve D rama." S e ve nt e e n 67(9):158(1).

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73 -----. 2008. D e co d e Y o u r D at e D o n't Y o u Wis h Y o u C o u ld P re d ict fro m D at e One Wh e t he r H e 's B F M at e rial? If Y o u K no w H o w t o R e ad H is S e cre t S ig nals Y o u C an!" S e ve nt e e n 67(3):120. -----. 2008. D o n't T ake T his A d vice T he s e Ou t d at e d R e lat io ns hip R u le s A re L ike S p am o n M yS p ace : Fe e l Fre e t o Ig no re !" S e ve nt e e n 67(5):93. -----. 2008. Fo rb id d e n L o ve : H o w C an S o me t hing Y o u K no w I s Wro ng Fe e l S o R ig ht ? S e ve nt e e n 68(1):140(4). -----. 2008. G e t A ny G u y at t he B e ach: R ig ht N o w Y o u 're Ju s t A no t he r C u t e G irl in a B at hing S u it B u t t he s e M o ve s Will G ive Y o u an E d g e !" S e ve nt e e n 67(6):72. -----. 2008. H o w t o S e nd t he Flirt ie s t T xt M s g w it h S o Fe w Wo rd s Y o u H ave t o M ake E ve ry One C o u nt H e re 's H o w t o T ake Y o u r C ru s h t o t he T e xt L e ve l." S e ve nt e e n 67(7):72. -----. 2008. M ake H im A s k Y o u Ou t !" S e ve nt e e n 67(4):112(1). -----. 2008. M ake Ove r Y o u r L o ve L ife ." S e ve nt e e n 67(10):115(2). -----. 2008. P lan t he Flirt ie s t S u mme r N ig ht : D o n't ju s t H ang Ou t w it h Y o u r C ru s h -U s e T he s e T ip s t o T u rn it int o One H o t E ve ning ." S e ve nt e e n 67(8):106(2).

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74 -----. 2008. T he R u le s o f A t t ract io n (Or, H o w t o M ake E ve ry G u y Want Y o u B ad ): S o me G irls S e e m t o G e t a ll t he G u ys -and S t art ing N o w T hat G irl C an B e Y o u !" S e ve nt e e n 67(7):102. -----. 2008. S ay t he Flirt ie s t T hing s ." S e ve nt e e n 67(9):157(1). ----. 2008. S t o p t he R u mo rs W he n t he L at e s t Vict im o f t he R u mo r M ill Is Y o u H e re 's H o w t o S u rvive -W it ho u t H aving t o Fake a S ick D ay!" S e ve nt e e n 67(11):84(1). -----. 2008. T he U lt imat e G u id e t o K is s ing : Y o u C an B e t he B e s t K is s H e 's E ve r H ad -E ve ry T ime !" S e ve nt e e n 67(11):74(2). -----. 2008. Warm U p Y o u r Wint e r!" S e ve nt e e n 67(2):68. -----. 2008. What 's K illing Y o u r G ame ? T he S u mme r is M ad e fo r M e e t ing G u ys -b u t T he s e Flirt ing M is t ake s C o u ld C o s t Y o u ." S e ve nt e e n 67(7):76. -----. 2008. Writ e t he Flirt ie s t Y e arb o o k M e s s ag e : Ju s t a Fe w Wo rd s C an G u arant e e Y o u l l B e o n H is M ind A ll S u mme r!" S e ve nt e e n 67(5):89. -----. 2008. Y o u r U lt imat e P art y G u id e !: K is s '08 G o o d b ye -and M ayb e G e t a K is s While Y o u 're at It A ll It T ake s I s a L it t le Fu n Flirt ing at Y o u r N e xt H o lid ay P art y." S e ve nt e e n 68(1):114(2)

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75 -----. 2007. I L o ve w he n H e S ays ..." N o t t hat Y o u Want t o P u t Wo rd s in Y o u r B o yfrie nd 's M o u t h ... We ll, Okay, Y o u D o H e re A re a Fe w L ine s t o S u g g e s t S e ve nt e e n 67(1):133. -----. 2007. 2008 L o ve R e s o lu t io ns : Whe t he r Y o u 're in L o ve o r L o o king T h e s e Vo w s Will make '08 t he mo s t R o mant ic Y e ar E ve r!" S e ve nt e e n 67(1):131. C raw fo rd C hace 2008. G e t t he H ard t o G e t G u y." S e ve nt e e n 67(4):108(1). M cC art ne y, Je s s e 2008. G e t H im t o R e ve al H is S w e e t S id e : E ve n t he T o u g he s t G u ys A re R e ally S e ns it ive o n t he Ins id e (It 's T ru e !) H e re 's H o w t o H e lp A ny G u y Op e n U p ." S e ve nt e e n 67(6):75. M e anle y, E rin. 2008. S e x L ie s H e T e lls Y o u S e ve nt e e n 67(8):100(1). M e t z, L au re n. 2009. Why I'm a B e t t e r B o yfrie nd t han ..." ." S e ve nt e e n 68(2):66(1). -----. 2009. D o e s H e R e ally L ike Y o u ? S e ve nt e e n 68(4):102(1). -----. 2009. Find an A mazing B o yfrie nd H o t T ip s fro m t he B e s t B o yfrie nd s in A me r ica! H u nd re d s o f G irls E nt e re d T he ir G u ys in O u r S e arc h fo r t he B e s t B o yfrie nd s b u t T he s e 10 G u ys E arne d t he T it le N o w T he y're S p illing T he ir A d vice o n H o w t o Finally Find Y o u r Ow n M r. P e rfe ct !" S e ve nt e e n 68(4):144(4).

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76 -----. 2009. If Y o u 'r e in L o ve : T ru e L o ve is T ricky t o D e fine b u t H e re 's H o w t o K no w if W ha t Y o u Fe e l Is t he R e al D e al. S e ve nt e e n 68(2):67(1). -----. 20 09. Is H e L ying t o Y o u ? C hance s A re H e M ig ht B e S e e I f Y o u R e co g nize A ny o f T he s e Who p p e rs ." S e ve nt e e n 68(3):90(1). -----. 2009. S ne aky Wa ys t o T e ll ... H e Want s Y o u t o M ake a M o ve !" S e ve nt e e n 68(4):106(1). -----. 2009. Y o u r T o p 5 G u y Qu e s t io ns A n s w e re d !" S e ve nt e e n 68(5):92(1). -----. 2008. C u t e G irls K e e p Flirt ing w it h M y G u y!" Y o u r e N o t t he Only One Who T hinks H e 's a H o t t ie H e re 's H o w t o H and le Y o u r Je alo u s y b e fo re I t H u rt s Y o u r R e lat io ns hip ." S e ve nt e e n 67(3):124. -----. 2008. M y B ig g e s t D at ing P e t P e e ve s !" Y o u M ig ht T hink Y o u 'r e B e ing C u t e and P layfu l, b u t C o u ld Y o u r A ct io ns R e ally b e K illing Y o u r G ame ? !? S e ve nt e e n 67(6):74. -----. 2 008. A ll ab o u t G u ys : Whe n Y o u 're N o t H it t ing t he B o o ks Y o u 'l l B e T hi nking ab o u t Who t o H it o n! S e ve nt e e n 67(10):101(1). -----. 2008. C rac k t he B ro C o d e : T he re A re R u le s amo ng G u ys T hat a B ro M u s t N e ve r B re ak -b u t W hat D o T he y M e an fo r Y o u ? R e al G u ys E xp lain." S e ve nt e e n 67(11):78(1). -----. 2008. G e t R id o f a D u d !" S e ve nt e e n 67(10):122(1).

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77 -----. 2008. H e 'l l b e a G o o d B o yfrie nd ." S e ve nt e e n 67(11):83(1). ----. 2008. It 's Okay if ... I t 's H ar d N o t t o Ove rt hink G u y T hing s B u t T he s e H o t t ie s D o n't Want Y o u T o P he w !" S e ve nt e e n 67(10):119(1). -----. 2008. R e ad H is M ind S e ve nt e e n 67(2):70. ----. 2008. What H e Want s T his Y e ar! S e ve nt e e n 67(9):160(3). -----. 2008. What H is K is s R e ally M e ans : Want t o K no w What H e 's T hinking as Y o u 're K is s ing ? N o w Y o u D o S e ve nt e e n 68(1):119(1). -----. 2008. What I N e ve r T o ld M y E x: T he s e G u ys A re Fina lly G e t t ing a Fe w S e cre t s Off T he ir C he s t W hat C o u ld Y o u r E x B e K e e p ing fro m Y o u ? S e ve nt e e n 67(5):92. -----. 2008. What R e ally M ake s H im Je alo u s Whe n I t C o me s t o G iving Ot he r G u ys A t t e nt io n, T he s e C u t ie s E xp lain t he D iffe re nce b e t w e e n W hat 's H arm le s s and W hat 's H u rt fu l!" S e ve nt e e n 67(4):106(2). -----. 2008. Why D id n't H e ma ke a M o ve ? Y o u T ho u g ht Y o u T w o W e re H it t ing it Off -b u t t he n H e D id n't A s k fo r Y o u r N u mb e r. H e re 's Why!" S e ve nt e e n 67(8):108(1). -----. 2007. H e lp M y B o yfrie nd N e ve r P ay s : Whe n Y o u 'r e A lw ays S t u ck w it h t he C he ck, I s I t T ime t o C he ck Ou t o f Y o u r R e lat io ns hip ? R e al G irls S hare T he ir A d vice ." S e ve nt e e n 67(1):128.

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78 N u s s b au m, Jane 2008. D o Y o u G ive L o ve a S e co nd C hance o r S ho u ld Y o u M ake a Fre s h S t art ? S e ve nt e e n 67(9):210(4). -----. 2008. What 's U p w it h Y o u T w o ? it 's N o t a R e lat io ns hip -Y e t B u t S o me t hing I s D e finit e ly G o ing o n b e t w e e n Y o u G u ys H e re A re t h e S e cre t Ways t o Fig u re Ou t if I t 's fo r R e al (and H ave S o me Flirt y Fu n w hile Y o u 're at I t )." S e ve nt e e n 67(8):138(4). ----. 2008. Y o u r S u mme r o f L o ve : S cho o l B re ak I s J u s t a ro u nd t he C o r ne r. N o w 's Y o u r C hance t o Find T hat P e r fe ct C are fre e S u mme r R o mance !(I t 's T ime fo r S U M M E R )." S e ve nt e e n 67(6):122. S he ckle r, R yan. 2008. H o w t o b e a C o o l G irlfrie nd ." S e ve nt e e n 67(2):66 We ine r, Je s s 2009. Why D o e s n't H e T hink I'm H o t ? Whe n a G u y B re aks U p w it h Y o u o r S t o p s T alking t o Y o u I t C an M ake Y o u Fe e l U g ly. B u t Je s s We ine r T e lls Y o u Why Y o u r B o d y Is N o t t o B lame S e ve nt e e n 68(4):96(1).


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