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Catalyst

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Material Information

Title:
Catalyst
Alternate Title:
The Catalyst (Volume XVI, Issue 7)
Physical Description:
Newspaper
Creator:
New College of Florida
Publisher:
New College of Florida
Place of Publication:
Sarasota, Fla.
Creation Date:
April 1, 2003

Subjects

Subjects / Keywords:
History -- New College (Sarasota, Fla.)
Genre:
newspaper   ( sobekcm )
government publication (state, provincial, terriorial, dependent)   ( marcgt )
College student newspapers and periodicals
College publications
Spatial Coverage:
United States -- Florida -- Sarasota

Notes

General Note:
Sixteen page issue of the student produced newspaper. Includes an April's Fool edition titled, "The Cataclysm."
Source of Description:
This bibliographic record is available under the Creative Commons CC0 public domain dedication. The New College of Florida Libraries, as creator of this bibliographic record, has waived all rights to it worldwide under copyright law, including all related and neighboring rights, to the extent allowed by law.

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Source Institution:
New College of Florida
Holding Location:
New College of Florida
Rights Management:
Before photographing or publishing quotations or excerpts from any materials, permission must be obtained from the New College Archives, and the holder of the copyright, if not New College of Florida.
System ID:
NCF0001715:00329


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ew foo CSA recount surprise by Caitlin Young Robert Schober and Sydney ash w n la! t fall' CSA presidential elec-i cc rding to third-) ear therin Shari s Shan. ho ju t c mple ed her 1 P, pent this pa t weekend carefu ly re counting the ballot nfortunately. Schober h taken thi me ter off and 1 thus ineligible to hold a CSA o tee. ash i currently workm,' part-time'' at Panera Bread and at sh [doe n't) hav time for thi hit. ''I fi d fulfill t th ,'' id "I realized that bag are >bat I really lov ." I other new current NC A Pre 1dent Maxeme Tu hman has delar d Ringhng and F to he a ''no -linear line of e il" and has called for th ir trut'tion. Wlule ome qu tJon if he houldn 't be thinking about 1 u clo cr to home, aggr ave ign conti Cl L 194-P E I STUPID LEGE OF FLO IDA VOLUME XVI ISSUE 7 TUESDAY, APRIL I' 2003 er 1s so of by Whitney Krahn Director of Re idential Life and Food Service Mike Campbell igned a conn_-act with Taco Bell Monday night makmg the fa t food chain New College's next food service pro ider. Though 'Orne ovo Collegians antici pate the coming of spicy enchi l adas and burrito mo t of the school i j u t hot under the collar Campbell says the sc hool went with Taco Bell because they were the l owest bid d rs. W e j u t cou ldn't go wro n g," he said. 1be lower coste; mean a poor, hungry tudent can now eat for up to $2.50 Jes: than with current food-;ervice Sodexho But not everyone is going aJong with the new det. "We did all this work tu nout o st e by Michael Gimignani Tf the behavior of ew College tu dent i any indication, feeling for granddaddy of drug magazines High 1ime j t hit an all-time bummer. Wearing functional bong rna ks, a group of Novo Collegians picketed along US 41 on atur ay. Their objective: prote ting ew College' runner-up ta tus in a urvey publi bed in !ac;t October' issue of High Times. Although. to be fair, most of tho e who protested med to have little idea of what was going on. In an article entitled, ''Top Counter culture College," hundred of public and private hool aero s the country were evaluated by the staff of High Times in everal area including "Quality of Education" and "Intelligent Herb U e.'' ew College placed second in thi survey, gi ing orne tudents reason to ew College, you have ju t been selected as a newS PER EMI FI .,.ALI T. You may have just won TEN MILLION DOLLARS! cheer, but other fuel for the furnace. "We're jut trying to how them how hard we can party. What I mean is ... one unidentified male prote ter told The Catacly m before trailing off and taring into the headlights of an oncoming Ford truck. Another sn1dent, first-year transfer John De ro 1ers, vows to go on a "po binge" until ew College i given recog niti n as the top marijuana school. "I'll bring the level up by my elf if 1 have to. 1 don t care what High Tunes doe .. yeah. unles they change their mind." he aid. Brother Maceo, longtime Hamilton Center pedd er. could not be reached fi r comment. Strangely, New College say it had nothing to do with th e return of the motto Remember me underneath the nameplate of all the original Cataclysm publications? Well, I'm here again. So watch out. StorY e bo er Toledo, Ohio as an assi tant organizer for Farm Labor Organi zin g Commtttee Such co al ition p r otest th e low wage Taco Bell pays i t s tomato fanners "Thi i s a slap in the face fr o m our own school,' he s aid Hell yeah, said first -year Bry on Voirin wh n he h ear d th e news I t h i nk Taco B e ll p r otest e rs are an no ying any way. They better not stop me from enjoying a Chalupa a single day next semeste r ." Voirin has ince put a Taco Ben sticker on the door to his dorm room along ide the sticker like, "Freedom Will Be Defended" and "College Repuh J ican Make a Difference Taco Bell beat out other bidder s including Beef Distributors and Outback S ,.,.K nn'""''" US41

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The Catacl sm NTENTS U.S. Livestock Report page 105 Fun With Nazi Genetics page 86 The New's; Studebaker page r86 Half Life page 14 7-DAY WEATHER Today: Water will tum to blood Wednesday: Lots of Frogs today Thursday: Festering boil Friday: Powerful hail storms Saturday: othing But Locusts Sunday: Darkness over all Monday: Death of the firstborn lLL ASSIGNMENTS Friday: Chris Cox "Certainly ot At All Like PCP" Saturday:TitusJewell "The Kinky Fuck Wall" thl' CATACLYSM Copynclll2003 llt Cody:vrL All risl>t> ,_,...,_ GENERAL EDITOR Michael Gimignani lOUR MAMA Sinh Zell Whitney Krahn IUthanHII BuriMnk SYDNEY Sydney Nash SENIOR STAFf WJifTERS Abby Weingarten MINIONS MichHI Sandenon Christopher Defillippi Maria Lopez Kmelyn Weissinger Josh On' Sarah Stamper Erin Marie Blasco The Cataclysm is a lavery ring that ha nothing to do WJth Professor Maria Vesperi. If you're lonely, depre sed. or otherwise have strong negative feelings toward your father, join us in Ham Center on Sunday nights. We're like a pyramid scheme, but even le legal Benefit travel. The Cataclysm is an Equal Opportunity EmployeL Do not direct any submissions or inquiries to: The Cataclysm 5700 N. Tamiami Tr. Box #75 arasota, FL 34243 cataclysm@ncf.edu (941) 359-4266 The Cataclysm re erves the nght to cut up submtssions mercilessly, often changing the content of your story. Anonymou submi stons WJll be used to line our mce parakeet Charlie's cage. You know, we only do thi once a year, so subm1 ton really don't matter. Information about upcoming event is very unwelcome throughout the week. Visit The Cataclysm online at : http://www.dustbury.corillarchiMsl000093.html LIBERAL NEWS Threat Level Red: Republicans discovered on campus by Christopher DeFillippi Sometimes, at odd hours of the day, you will ee them. Out of the corner of your eye, you may glance upon one. It is usually only a glimp e; a faint impres sion wafting in and out of one's con ciou ne like an odor through B dorm. But occasionally, impre ion like odor will linger, and you fmd your elf asking: "who would wear a Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt at New College?" An an wer was found at approxi mately 10 p.m. March 15, when second-year Miranda Tedholm de scended into a maintenance tunnel to retrieve a leather-bound copy of Watership Down that he had inadver tently dropped into an opened trap door. "At first I thought 'my God, Tedholm aid. "The catacomb [are] full of fashionably dressed Republicans! I ju t grabbed my book and got the Hell out!" Although Tedholm's interaction with the tunnel' denizen was brief, word of her experience created a stir among the tudent body. En mas e, student attempted to enter the catacomb to sub tantiate the claim of a possible subterranean secret society, only to find the trapdoor en ance t main n tunnels padlocked. "The Republicans under the Pei Cowts is a rumor," aid second-year Devon Barrett, typifying the student re sponse. "And besides, if there really was a secret underground civilization, why would the ole known entrances to their society suddenly become inacce sible to the outside almost immediately after their people's 'discovery'?" Disrni ed almo t immediately as groundles urban legend, the po sibility of a ubterranean faction of the G.O.P. faded quickly from the public' imagina tion. It wa only on March 23, when everal tudentc; witnes ed a weater vest clad male in his early twentie emerge half-way from a third-court tun nel that the rumor were ubstantiated. Justice among the Molemen "So now you know the terrible e cret," Roderick Johnson II, Holy Sovereign of the molemen aid to the Catacly m, from his imperial palace under first court. "We have identified the one who has betrayed our cover as Frederick Gladstone. It was his duty to venture to the surface world for much needed supplies; a ta k at which he failed most egregiou ly." Johnson paused as he glanced coldly at hi chagrined underling, fidgeting un comfortably in the chair next to him. "I maintain confidence, however, in that he is not enttrely worthies I am certain that he will make an excellent dinner.'' A collective gasp erupted from the thirty or o molemen present for the announcement. "He is being demoted to food er vices," Johnson continued. "It pays less." A second collective gasp e caped the audience. The complex interrelation of the subterTanean worfd and our own [Abridged] "Due to the anarchic nature of the over world, we have been forced to live a meager, grasping existence over the decades," said Mini ter of Plenty Orson Banks. "During the hours where we are least likely to be detected, we mu t o. it is before 10 a.m. on weekends." The Minister continued after taking a seat in an Italian-style armchair crafted from the fabric of discarded hackey-sack balls. "Considering the materials that us tain our society are often difficult to come by, I believe that we have done well," Banks continued. 'The garments and half-empty ewing kits that you reg ularly discard on your 'free table' are employed to manufacture fairly con vincing brand knockoffs. Plus our most talented cherni ts have devised a proce through which the liquid waste produced through narcotic combustion on the sur face can be synthe ized into brand-name quality fragrances here." Banks then drummed hi fingers along his faux-mahogany desk. "Oh yeah, and there's been some talk of expanding into medical ervices, a pension program and welfare." The future of the molemen "Ba ed on what our couts have observed of the surface world, I do not see my people openly interacting with it in the immediate future," Sovereign John on commented. 'They have re turned to me parchments adhe ively attached to surface domiciles expressing the populace's overwhelming desire for non-violent re olution of conflict, gov ernment intervention on behalf of the economically uncompetitive, and unhin dered carnal and reproductive liberty. 'This i not our way," he said. "For the time being, we are in the unfortunate po ition of being a small enclave of ra tional, principled thought utterly surrounded by those who have a vis ceral, knee-jerk sense that everything we repre ent is trea onous. I believe we will interact with your world only to the ex tent necessary to gather the supplies that fuel our lifestyles." Johnson then adjusted his power tie and looked disconsolated into the distance. "Eh, forget about it," he continued "Your kind wouldn't under tand." When most of the crowd had dissi pated, Johnson addre ed orne of the Catacly m's questions regarding the nature of their ociety. r e olle e Campus Police and the Physical Plant, the mo t damage students have ever wrought while exploring the tunnels has been the destruction of padlocks on the trapdoors that frequently impede student entrance. While Maintenance Mechanic Robert Marshall of the Physical Plant stated that there i no real danger in students exploring the tun nels, either to themselves or to the equipment within, there are still con cerns regarding the exploration of the underground facilitie 'That's why [they are] padlocked," Officer Wes Walker said to The Cataclysm. "We haven't pro ecuted anybody in the past, basically because we haven't caught anyone. If we had found someone down there, we would prosecute." The penalty for tho e caught doing so is a write-up and arrest continued on page 135 ] These taken at great expense of human life, give definitive proof of mole-Republicans lurking The underground race may have from, a group of ancient stuc:tents. . -' ..

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The Catacl sm fROM THE CENTER OF THE U If you have a date in Palm Court, (s}he'll be waiting 1n Nathaniel Burbank/Cataclysm Grammarless signs: According to Physical Plant sign maker Joseph Glasscock, knew the whole time. We didn't really give a crap." The coffers of the New College Foundation were greatly enhanced last week when an undisc1osed donor opted for the chance to have Palm Court re named. For the grand total of $47.61, the center of the New College universe will henceforth be known as "Vickers ville." Officer Ken Vickers, namesake of Vickersville, was last seen sitting on the wall of Palm Court in a Barcolounger waving his metal baton like a scepter to the tune of "Pomp and Circumstance dance shaking their Kessie, a former deputy chief of an Indiana police department, told The Cataclysm, "If anyone in Indiana could see me now ... I went from Shelbyville to Vickersville." Following the tradition of having buildings and other locations named for large donations, the Foundation re vealed that a mystery donor approached them some time ago with the renaming proposal. The donor stated that the inspiration had come with the realization that the trees in Palm Court were in deplorable condi tion and dying off. Physical Plant Director Richard Olney, in charge of the trees of VickersvilJe, thinks the name change is a great idea. "A few years ago there was an alum who wanted to donate the cost of refur bishing the trees and tile work in Palm Court. It was very expensive,'' Olney said. "Of course, the tock market has taken a steep dive since then and the is no longer going to complete the proJect. We opted to let him out of his commitment because, while we were sure we would win in court, just as the Asolo [Theatre) won when they sued Burt Reynolds for his endowment, we felt that the non-materialistic image of New College would be harmed." John Martin, Vice-President for Finance and Administration, was ec static over the proposal. "Any way we can get money to come into the col from the outside wm alv.:ays be also drc>or)ed ing of convincing Vickers to take former Student Activities Coordinator Alena Scandura's apartment in the fall, "especially since his children are gone and he has an empty nest." Campbell said it will take a lot to convince the Vickers family to move on campus, but he is hoping to secure additional grant money to defray those costs. He said that the move would give new meaning to the University efforts at 'community polic '.by having Vickers able to respond m hts "HOTCART" to lock-outs, jump starts, and late night escorts. "It's hoped that Mrs. Vickers would invite students to dinner on a regular basis chez Vicker ," Campbell said. Dean of Students Mark Blaweiss is even talking about refurbishing one of the dorm lounges to a club, called Club Vickers. It would predominantly be a juice bar with Vickers acting as MC on his nights off. Late-night revelers were thrilled over the news. "Palm Court used to be known as the place for Friday and Saturday night partying and the place where town meetings were held. With the renaming it will give a further sense of community to New College students and the campus just as the Natural Science Building did when it was named after General Heiser," first-year Bryson Voirin said. New College emphatically inquired of The Cataclysm. Former NCSA President Andrew Hossack replied petulantly to Michalson' question, "It's obvious that you haven't been to any walls lately, otherwise you would know.'' Vickers could not be reached for continued on ,._. 128 'Party of the century' thrown by renegade Ringling students by Sarah Stamper When spring break arrived and with that the mass exodus of Novo Collegians venturing on road trips or journeying home to Mom and Dad, the campus was left vulnerable for siege. At midnight on March 22, the normal Saturday night New College wall was invaded and overtaken by Ringling students. The surviving Novo Collegians have made it clear that the art school's treach erous acts will not soon be forgotten. The wall was assigned to Mary Whelan and Daina Crafa, but the Machiavellian Ringling students had other plans. They made their attack by surrounding Palm Court and then mov ing in towards the wall equipment. Senior-class Ringling conspirator Justin Hansen said, "We went there and their shit looked lame. We decided that it was time to take control." The theme that Ringling offered for their wall was "Naked Porn Star." New College students just didn't feel this scene and it didn't help that wall-jacker and Ringling senior Adam Carlson said, "I am pissed off that there are still people with their clothes on. This is bull shit." It seems like he just doesn't get the fact that almost all walls at New College end with half-naked students. Ringling senior Andy Smenos agreed and said, "People aren't dressing up, we should punch them in their face. What can I say, I am [at New College] way too much." We couldn't agree more. Tom Carlson, a co-conspirator and Ringling junior said, "In making our plans we considered the New College students. I mean, we didn't come in with R&B and beer funnels." Crafa said, "An enonnous computer design major pushed me out from behind the equipment. When he shoved me he stepped on my toe and so I spent the rest of the night in the bathroom crying!'' Whalen attempted to fight the attack ers off with help from other New College students, but failed in the end. It seemed like a New College tradition was about to be shattered. Another Ringling junior, Brad Smith, was surprised to see his friends in charge after he had arrived fashionably late. ''I didn't think Ringling students would ever put that much effort into something. I can't imagine that it was too successful," he said. The New College students defiantly agreed that the Ringling wall was far from succes ful. Third-year student Kate Gallo said, "I don't feel like listening to funk soul brothers all night." She was not charge admission to Palm Court. Gallo summed up her experience, saying, "Never ay never I gue s," and laughing. On the lack of success of the Ringling wall, New College thesis-stu dent Arianna Bailey said, "What can you expect? They are the most normal art school kids in the whole country." New College second-year Ben Lewis said, "The Ringling students had noth ing unique or original to offer in any way, shape or form. Well, except for the one thing that New College is everely lacking: available straight men.'' But when they come wearing only an ele phant thong, who wants them? After their disastrous attempt it seems that Ringling students just don't have what it takes to throw a wall. 'They can just take their squeaky noses at all surprised that Ringling tried to. ........, .... ......,.......,..._........,....,.. ............... ......,......,. .......

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The Catacl FROM THE ARCHIVES, LITERALLY 2003 ites acheve nirvana next to funky shag carpet by Maria Lopez While cleaning up the drainage ditches during spring break, Physical Plant came across a bulbous object pro truding out of the marsh. Upon closer inspection it was determined that the shiny metallic sphere pointing out of the mud was in fact a time capsule. The crew spent a few hours trying to pry the container open. Etched on the side of the capsule was "1969." New College alum Samuel Sapp ('67) recalls how he and others gathered together to create the time capsule. "I was there in 1969. I left my LP of the soundtrack of the Beatles' movie A Hard Days Night in there. I al o left my hand out for the day I taught Dr. Knox's Faulkner class. There were some boring notes on programming from Cobol or Fortran that I never used. I think I left my tooth in there. Did anyone find it?" Indeed, upon close inspection a small PIZZA tooth was located with the initials S.S. carved into the crown. Surprisingly, most of the contents of the capsule were found to be in excellent condition. A thesis was recovered that was titled, "What I Did Over My Summer Vacation." New College Alurnnae/i Association Executive Director David Bryant helped officials uncover the contents of the time capsule. Bryant shared his fmd ings with students and faculty: ''We found several tabs of acid that were eaten by mites. We also found the corpses of the mites and, not surpris ingly, we found that they reached a higher state of consciousness ... higher than most mites achieve in their rela tively short life spans." In addition to the toxic mites, Bryant also found toenail clippings indicating that New College students in the 1960's lacked a huge amount of calcium in their diets. _______ ,..:z:s ___ ST..sD ----$1.7:1--J3..9S ------16.95 ....... = w ScaaltJitzzao-J6x f6... --------T1.95 .e... .... _______ f..73-... p ........ s..-o.. ..... ,,-.,a.--........ OIIwe,. o..ro.. ..._o.rllc.... .. ... ......._.__......_...,_._...." aY THE SLICE ; .. -..-...-.. .... -.. --... --1.95-.ladt AddidMII ,.... -----.asc .a (Dmlt 4, In addition the capsule also con tained a copy of War and Peace, recyclable condoms made from goat skin, a record player, partially burnt bras, a tambourine, lots of evaluations (some more favorable than others), a picture of Uncle Sam, and a sign that say 'Save the Raccoons!' Apparently raccoons were endangered at the time, but clearly they have survived whatever hardships they previously faced. Pictures of a New College bar were also found in the time capsule. Apparently students used to have to walk no further than the mailroom to drink away their troubles. New College alum Cynthia Ekle ('01) says that she often heard rumors that a bar used to exist. "I heard that New College stu dents would sell all kinds of liquor there, but usually beer. I am not quite sure how exactly it was funded, but the place would be packed every night." New College students have been shocked by what the time capsule has re vealed. Third-year Tracey Banes said ''We should totally bring back the College Pub. It should have a cool name, too-like Dante's Inferno." In the very bottom of the time cap sule was a crumpled-up and water stained picture showing that New Col lege actually had major parties in the lounges instead of Palm Court. The picture of the lounge shows that they once had orange shag carpeting and metallic disco balls that spun around the center of the room. Mter ex tended partying, the lounges had to be shut down for renovation. A piece of that funky shag carpet remains in the capsule. Objects found in the carpet include gum, beer tabs, pen cils, paper clips, lots of dirt, honey, and several unidentified substances. New College officials have decided continped em page 102 f ?' SUBS Reg. FuU ...... MIJt Ham, ....... 4..95 ..-n .. 6.75 _. III:II.Sult---4..95 --6.75 Grilled Ch dotn be -6.75 All Mixed Subs ClCme wtfh Cheae, f.enuc:e, .... Omolo, Onion, Ortt:ssing & HOT SUBS Rea. M s..-ltalan.Mix-....... __ 4.95 .......... 6.75 &fnlli)ID---.. .. .. .. .... ....... 4.95 --6.75 'Veal Cutlet Partnesan -4.95 6.75 --------.. ----5..H .... ... tl ....... -----75< .a ('8mlf 4) DINE IN Oridcen Cutlet Parmesan ......... 4.95 6.75 Eacaplant Parwraesa.n ........................ 4.95 ............ 6.75 ... p ........ ...... --5. 75 Sausage .... 6. 95 ....... .................... onlolt & cMese APPE IIZERS & SALADS ......... 0... .... ....... ----$6.25 F.-Mc:l Calantart .................. -.. -5.95 ......... Appellz.r ------.. -5.95 -...:. ...... .5tlclcs -..----........... ........... 5.95 a.anaaPolaloWed ... _.,.. 1.75 ....... 1rg.2.50 s..p. ---------------------. 2.95 -----res2.75 .._lrg.4.95 ldcen Salad---5.95 Anlipaato-,._, \1 ...., V..:,ar Iss---7.25 Garlic Bread ..... ... .. u..... 3.50 DINNERS Eggplant Pwmwcaa & side of Ziti ............. .... a.oo a.lcken Pw ....... &aide of 8.50 Veal Parmesan & side of Spaghetti m-u'" 9.00 DRINKS Coke, Oterry Coke, Sprite, Root Beer, ked Teo Reg;1.50 llg.1.95 Frutopla 1.75. Coffee 1.25 2.95 resso2.00 ( 6103 14th street W. (US 41) ) Bradenton, Florkla PASTAS $paghettf or Zlfi SaUCM For One .,.omato .................................. $5.50 Meatball ................... 6. 95 Sa:us..age ............... 6.95 Meat Sauee .. 6. 95 Mushroom .............. 6. 95 Extra Meatball or Sauaatae $1.50 ea Fettucc:W .Alfredo.. -.............. $7 ..SO w/ Grilled CHc:imnorlkoccoll orst.tmp ...... $8..50 ..................................... ,. ... __ ... 7.50 Stuffed Shefls-.$7 .50 w/meat sauce --8.50 Manicottt .._.$7 .50 w/meot .sauce ..... _..._ 8.50 Tortellint--.... .$7 .50 w/meat .sauce--&.50 Baked Ziti .-.S6.50w/meatsouce ______ ... _, 7.50 Lasagna $6.95 w/mem sauce ....... _._, .... 7.95 Ravioli .......... $7.50 ................. 8.50 -All Pastas Camtt WHh 0 IINodstldc-SmoB Scrlads with dbtn.r --r .75 Soul!Migle Pannesan .................. 4.95 .. ..... 6.75 Meutball Panneaan ............... _. 4.95 ...... 6.75 AM fb11w axne with a-SPECIALTIES Veal Marsala ove.-SpagMtrl $12.95 s-et Coo.JcinQ w,. V.OI FntfteeH over Spaghetti ............. '". $12.95 t.mon WM. Wlrl. a.lcken Manalo over SpaaMtti .... .._ .... $10.95 Swwt Cooking Wine Chicken FI"'heeSeoverSpoghetti -n $10.95 lANnon WM. Wine eun..-Souc>e Chkkeft Cacciatore over Spaghetti.-.. $10.95 t.d s-, GNef'l l'ltppen. BloooW;. Olives Reel or White Clams OYJ!W Fettudni ....... .. $9.75 Reel orWhlteColamarl overhttvcJnf.- $9.75 Shrimp Scampi over Fettudnl ................. $11.95 w-Gariic ._,. Frutta dl Mare -u--. ...... $13.95 Combinotion ol ca1omari,. shrimp, baby dmn$ in rwl or white SCM -AM Sfl come wllh w Garfk ...--DESSERTS Cheese Cake ........................ : ....... 3.25 Cclrii'IOII ce ..... -.. 1.25-Tira.----..,3.25 ---3..50 ew College students receive 20% discount with ID card no, really. this is legit

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A STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF NEW COLLEGE OF FLOR DA ATALYST VoLUME XVI IssuE 7; TUESDAY, APRIL I, 2003 New College preparing or wartime threa s by Katelyn Weissinger With the onset of war, New College bas begun plan ning for pos. ible The New College Police Department JS staymg more alert since the national threat level was raised to orange. Student Affairs is looking over the campus Crisis Management Plan, while thinking up fun 'diversions' for students, and the Counseling and Wellness Center is receiving more stressed-out students than usual. Despite all of this, there has been no increase in secu nty measures at New College. "I don'.t t?,ffik in any more danger than the gen eral pubhc, satd Vice President for Finance and Administration John Martin. 'There are a bil1ion targets that would be more interesting to a terrorist than New College." For n?w, there are no plans for extra police officers. No equipment being installed. No smallpox vaccmation at Parkvtew. In the event of a war-related emergency, the Campus Emergency Operation Staff (CEOS), which includes New College President Gordon Michalson, take The Security Chain of Command According to New College Police Chief Gene College is part of one of seven regions di vided and dtrected by the state. If domestic security issues affecting New College came up, the state govern ment would contact the Campus Police and Public Affair Director Steve Schroer via e-mail. Schroer would then e-mail the CEOS and other faculty members about the. situation. In recent days, the state government has. e-mailed New College regarding the increase in the nattonal threat level and subsequent security measures taken by the government. If something more drastic happened, if New College ?r ne.arby International Airport was identified. as a military target, the Crisis Management Plan outlines standard procedures. Resident Advisors and the Campus Police would notify students by going door to door and making announcements over mega pho.nes. If additional assistance is needed, the Campus Pollee can also communicate with other law enforce-ment the Visiting Eckerd chef brought new ideas, casserette recipes Visiting chef Richard Ellman came to Sodexho last month to give a helping hand to the staff. New College can only hope his arsenal of 111 new casserette recipes prove themselves among st.udents. .. .. .. by Young There was a new spatula in town last month. Eckerd College's Executive Chef Richard Ellman visited New College, offering "culi nary support" to the Sodexho staff. This is not Ellman's first visit. He has helped out with Orientation planning for four years. He says he's familiar with the needs of New Col1ege, but also able to bring in a little outside perspective. "We give each other a lot of sup port," Ellman said, referring to Sodexho's common practice of send ing their chefs to visit other campuses. ''It's good to see other operations." Ellman's dining hall at Eckerd, a college in St. Petersburg, is much larger than the one here, and is ar ranged much differently. Meals there are all-you-can-eat, one flat fee per visit. This makes for a different type of ystem, but Ellman didn't think either method was necessarily superior. ''It's neat, a different opera tion (at New College]" he said. But Ellman was not brought in to look at those sorts of structural dif ferences. He's here for the food. His primary project has been the Cast Iron Zone, the new stir-fry counter. It isn't a new concept for Sodexho, and he says that it goes in and out of style every couple years. ''Everything cycles around," Sodexho Manager Jerry Dixon said. "It used to be called 'Display Cooking' or 'Pasta Pronto,"' Ellman said. "There's been lots of concepts over the years. But every one Likes watching their food get cooked right in front of them." Some changes to the stir fry bar that Ellman oversaw included adding other types of starch, such as pasta, on a permanent basis. There have been other menu item addi tions, as well as the permanent residence of new spices. Vegetable broth is available if a student would prefer their food steamed rather than sauteed in oil. Ellman also wanted to assess the wrap/sandwich bar and see what changes he could make. Beyond that he also wanted to look at the overalJ menu cycle as well as add new self-serve items, having already added Ill new casserette recipes to the li t. "I'm looking at the full range of foods, not just vegan," he said. While he was here, Ellman worked behind the counters at every bar. He wanted to communicate with students about what they wanted, what they liked. and what they didn't like. He also wanted to encourage everyone to try something new. "At least try it. You can pit it out, fme, but just taste it," he said. What most impresses Ellman about New College is the amount of fresh vegetables used in prepara tion. Ellman, who has much experience in purchasing, looked over those methods as well, to see if anything could be improved. As for improvement, Ellman's visit came at a time when Sodexho might want to polish up its proflle. Next year will be a bid year for the college. ''The timing is purely coinciden tal," Dixon aid.

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st CONTENTS Entertainment page 5 -Mike's Movie Pick page 6 -Movie Times page 6 -Half-Life page II 7-DAY WEATHER Today: Sunny, 70/SI Wednesday: Mostly Sunny, 72/6o Thursday: Mosdy Sunny, 79/6o Friday: Mosdy Sunny, 8I/6o Saturday: Mosdy Sunny, 82/64 Sunday: Partly Cloudy, 82/67 Monday: Partly Cloudy, 8I/68 aLL ASSIGNMENTS Friday: Ben Wright&. Haber Saturday: (Unknown) the CATALYST C"P)Tigh' :zom, TM C<>ruJy:;r AU rip r=n-ed. GENERAL EDITOR Michael Gimignani MWMIMG mnoR Slnb WI ,_____ c.-."-Nl!ltluJniel Burlnlnk ONUN EDITOR Sydney Nash SENIOfl STAFF WRm:RS Abby Weingarten STAFF WRITERS Michael SandeiSOfl Christopher Defilfippi Maria Lopez Katelyn Weissinget" Josh Orr Sarah Stamper Erin Marie Blasco The Catalyst is an academic tutorial sponsored by Professor Maria Vesperi. It is developed in the New College Publications Office using Adobe Photoshop and QuaTk X press for PowerMacintosh and printed at the Bradenton I Ierald with money provided by the New College Student Alliance. Direct submissions and inquiries to: The Catalyst 5700 Tamiami 1r. Box #75 Sarasota, FL 34243 catalyst@ncf.edu (941) 359-4266 The Catalyst reserves the right to edit submissions for space, grammar or style.No anonymous submissions will be accepted. See contribution guidelines for further information. All submtssions must be received by 5:00 p.m. Saturday in order to appear in the following week's is uc. Information about upcoming events is welcome throughout the week. NEWS 2003 CAA in the process of "regrouping;" will allocate money by Whitney Krahn When second-years Lara Drizd and Candace Fallon went to the Council of Academic Affairs in search of funding for their Independent Study Project last November, they didn't know it would take nearly five weeks after they in January for the money to amve. Meanwhile, Fallon charged hundreds of dollars on a credit card, costing her even more money in the long run. After some recent house cleaning and reorganization, the CAA should be ready to promptly allocate by beginning of Module II. This ts due m part to the efforts New College Student Alliance President Maxeme Tuchman, who is serious about a well-run student government. "Max [Tuchman] has really been on top of me and [NCSA Vice-President !or Candace Fallon/New College Student Affairs and Catalyst Managmg This photo is a sample of the Editor] Sarah Zell to know what our jobs work completed by second are," said new Vice-President for In years Candace Fallon and Lara Academic Affairs Audrey Nicoleau. Drizd as part of their ISP. It tum, Nicoleau is detennined to establish took over two months to job descriptions for CAA representa-receive money from the tives. "There has been a big ambiguity Council of Academic Affairs. as to what the representatives' purpose is," Nicoleau said. Prior to her appoint. ns were nonexistent. Before the CAA began its reorganization, it replaced five of 14 members with people who had more time and in terest in participating in the NCSA. "A lot of the kids are really excited about [the CAA]," Thchman said after visiting the council's meeting last week. Putting enthusiastic students into representative positions is important, Nicoleau said, because "there isn't really a lot of incentive behind the positions ... there has to be a lot of drive." CAA rep resentatives are not paid, nor do they receive much attention. Drive was, evidently, the missing force from the CAA in the past, as the council frequently didn't have enough representatives present at meetings to establish a quorum of eight votes. Such roblems made allocating money difficult in the past, though former Vice-President of Academic Affairs India Harville declined to comment on the state of the CAA under her leader ship, which included the time period of Drizd and Fallon's funding request. While the reconfigured CAA is opti mistic about its new allocating responsibilities, members say it is more than just a funding resource. Student Government Business Coordinator Barbara Berggren said allocating money is a "very very new part of the CAA." In the past, the CAA had a budget of just $1,000, which it allocated money from only once a year. It was just supposed to dispense money as a supplement to alumni and Foundation grants, Nicoleau said. During his time as NCSA President, thesis-student Andrew Hossack increased the CAA's budget to over $3,000, though the council still didn't have guidelines for allocating funds. The CAA exists specifically as a liai son between students and faculty. Problems or suggested improvements are relayed from students through the CAA to the faculty, or vice versa. The membership includes the vice-president for academic affairs and repre entatives from 14 academic areas of interest, including a Gender Studies representative and a library representative. The Constitution requires the CAA to meet once a month. "Meetings are always open so people can come and talk about academic issues," Nicoleau said. "We have people who are in constant contact with areas of academic interest." Outside of meetings, CAA representatives are available to take student opinions on their specific area at any time. The vice-president meets regularly with Provost Charlene Callahan and rep resents the opinion of the NCSA Cabinet at CAA meetings, though she does not vote. The council is the only part of the NCSA that has a direct relationship with the Provost. Nicoleau said Callahan was "really excited about getting to know the members [of the CAA]." Now that the council has a larger budget and will allocate money regu larly, Nicoleau anticipates holding meetings twice a for open discussion of academic issues and the other for allocating purposes. The details will be decided in one last meeting before spring break The CAA will have request fonns similar to those of the Student Allocations Committee, though they may require sponsor signatures. "We are trying to make it for legitimate projects," said Nicoleau. Groups of three or more students can receive up to $500; individ uals are limited to $250. CAA meeting times will be posted in the activities calendar in the front of Hamilton Center and in the weekly NCSA e-mail updates. Announcements Seniors: You've Got Mail! you do not receive your packet. Please return all ma terials using the envelope' provided, and don't forget to make a copy of the Audit to give your thesis sponsor and Baccalaureate committee members. Thanks again and best wishes! From the President's Office: Keep New College on Top! If you are a 1st or 4th year student, your opinion counts! If you have not re sponded to The College Student Report 2003 that was recently mailed to your NCF box, please do so today. The National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE) your time, and may be com pleted either on paper or on-line. For all potential Spring 2003 graduates (happy early congratulations!), a general Baccalaureate mailing will be in your mailbox this week. Included in this "Bacc Pack," will be the Baccalaureate Student Survey and the Baccalaureate Student Audit Fonn, with an explana, 11t<;tfces about ten of .... ..... j I J ...... .I Your responses about your own NCF experience will determine how New College rates nationally in tenns of five benchmarks of student engagement. In sur veys past, New College has been a topcoring leader in stitution. Your input will help keep New1College at the top! I tory letter. Please contact Maintenance bas requested Jacqueline Bethune in the that students be reminded Office at 2-4421 not to ride bicycles in or email: _.Hamilton Center ........ ................. ____ ..................... ...... __ ---........... ..

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The Catalyst EWS oise reg I t ons d ow by Erin Blasco Some Sarasotans complain that there i n't enough cheap, loud enter tainment in town. Sara ota 's noi e a city layout placing condommJUm m ear hot of most live mu, ic, make it tough for m, ny a ,ts to perform in the city. On March 3, the city of Sara ota an ordinance expandmg the lo cation where sound regulation, take effect. Many more re idential areas, as well a St. Armand' Circle and other area where live mu ic is played in restaurant fall under the new juri dictiOn. The arne ordinance, however. a11ow for more e ception to the rule because of the expanded area-permit to exceed the regulation are available for some planned events, for instance. The rule ay that noi e cannot ex ceed 65 decibel when mea ured at the line from where the noi. e orig mate The e "quiet hours" are in effect 10:00 p.m. and 7:00a.m. every day. Stxty-five decibels is about equal to the noise made by normal conversa tion. of where the sound i coming fromrather than from the location of those to be di turbed-is also pretty umque. The city, however, only ha about five instruments for measuring ound level Therefore, there i a ... general disturbance" rule that allows po hce. officers who don't have measuring to judge noi violation by ear. In thts case, they mu t fir t
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The Cata t N E W S ew Co lege ca f make us have to go to a plan that i dif-pus PrePares or war ferent than that. It almo .t have to be Armageddon, satd Blawe1 regarding at what stage New College would evacuate the campu entirely "If that were the ca e, [Student Affairs] would probably try to work individually with each tudent and try and get them where they need to be. New College i located aero s the street from an international airpm and about seventy miles from MacDill Air Force Ba e in Tampa. Although the Sara ota airport is relatively mall com pared to airport in larger citie like Miami, it i till taking precaution a a re ult of the increased national threat l evel. D irector of Operations and M a inte nance for Sara ota-Manatee Airpo rt A utho rity B ob Mattingly com mente d that the airport has added patrols and increased surveillance since th e country u pgraded to threat level orange. However, Mattingly could not be muc h m o re specific for security reasons, s ta ting th at ''the airport has different plan s to deal w ith various situations like hurri c ane s and b omb threat 4.4Friday Concert: .Midnight Rose According to Martin, ew College is only in the flight patterns for take off of orne of the smaller plane leaving Sara "Otal Bradenton International. MacDill. on the other hand, i a ri k be cause of its large role in the war with Iraq. The 6th Air Mobility Wrng, which consi ts of 3.CXX> people that refuel American mili tary aircraft all over the world, is tationed at MacDill MacDill is one of only twelve uch Air Mobility Bases in the country. The de truction of the base could be a crippling blow to the thousands of military aircraft engaged in the ho tilities. Despite these factors, many taff members feel New CoUege is relatively safe. "We could always be a target of op portunity, but we don't foresee it being a major problem," O'Casio aid. "I don't think it makes that much of a difference ... Fortunately, yes we're near an airport, but we're not one of the high proflle targets like Disney World, or a national landmark like the Petersburg Wa hington Monument," said Martin. New College's Emergency Plans The Cri is Management Plan for New College outline what to do in the event of a natural di a ter, bomb threat, fire, plane era h, chemical contamina tion, and other emergencie However, there i no exact plan to cope with New College becoming a military or terrori t target. Several admini trators, including Dean of Students Mark Blaweiss and Martin, said that New College would take many of the same precautions dur ing a terrorist attack as it would if there were a hurricane. Depending on the immediacy of the threat, students might be notified by e mail, their RAs, or the cam p us police. If there were a need to evacuate, students would gather in Hamilton Center and Sudakoff Conference Center, whic h are designated shelters. 'There are very f e w things that could happen that woul d In addition to the e contingency plans, Student Affairs and the Career Center are keeping a clo er watch over students who are traveling. Blawei s e mailed the tudent list erv over pring break asking students who change d their travel plans to contact Student Affair Blawe1s wanted to be prepared if parents called New College looking for stu d ents. The Career Cente r is also keeping in close contact wi th New College students who are s tudying abroad Faculty members are als o considering future travel plans. "If someone wanted to spend a semester abroadthat's something we'd really ha v e to talk about,'' said Provost C harlene Callahan. Distance from campus: 45 miles Distance from c ampus: 7 mile s Concert: Zrazy OtiCelrt:: Two young Irish women doing Cel tic I think that's called world beat. ) Classic Wax Bar (2199 Siesta Drive, from Saks Fifth Avenue) A p ril 4, 9:00p.m. -1:00 a.m. Classic Wax Bar (2199 Siesta Drive, from Saks Fifth Avenue) April 5, 9:00 p.m. 1:00 a.m. Information : 364. 8653 Distance from campus: 7 miles When: April 9 $10 Location: F ogartyville Cafe (800 W. 17th Ave Braden ton) Information : 7 41. 9 7 55 Information: 364.8653 Distance from campus: 7 miles Crawfish Festival Live Cajun, Zydeco and blues music and lots of food. (A hell of a lot of crawfish flown in from Louisiana for the event.) Where: Cajun Cafe on the Bayou (81 01 Park Blvd. Pinellas Park) When: Apri14-6 Information: 727.546.6732 $810 Distance from campus: 43 miles Comedy: Jimmy "J..J." Walker Played Kid Dy-no-mite on Good Tunes When: April 4 -6 $8-12 Where: McCurdy's Comedy Theater (3333 N. Tamiami Trail Sarasota) Information: 925.FtJNY Distance from campus: 1.25 miles Concert: Tampa Bay Blues Festival Featuring Jimmie Vaughan, Delbert McClmton, Dickey Betts and Keb' AA > When: April 4 -6 $20 2 5 daily Pass good for all three days $50 Where : Vmoy Watetfront Park St. Concert: Rachel Cross and Kim Buchanan Acoustic folk with Hebrew. French, Arabian influences When: April 5 $8 Location: Fogartyville Cafe (800 W. 17th Ave. Bradenton) Information: 741.9755 Distance from campus: 11 miles 4.6 Sunday Concert: Giving Hunger the Blues Blo_ck party benefiting Sarasota s All F azths Food Bank and the Child Protection Center. the Five O'Clock Club (1930 Hillview Sarasota ) April 6, noon 8:00 p.m. Infonnation: 366.5555 Distance from campus: 5.5 miles Acoustic Mic Night Classic Wax Bar ( 2199 Siesta Drive from Sax Fifth Avenue) AprilS, 7:00p.m.11:00 p.m Information : 364.8653 Distance from campus : 1 miles Sleater-Kinney/Pearl Jam Rwt gtrls that still want to be y our Joey Ramone opening for those grunge guys with the flannel When: April 13 $35 Where: St. Pete Tunes Forum ( 401 Dr., Tampa) Distance from campus: 60 miles Art: Asia--An Exhibition of Important 19th Century Photographs Wlien: through September 5 11:00 a.m.5:00pm $5 Museum of As ian Art (640 S. Washington Blvd., Sarasota ) Jntonnation: 954.7117 Dtstance from campus: 5 miles Bay Area Renaissance Festival When: through April13 1000 am 6 00 p m $14.95 . Where : 4rgo Central Park ( 400 Central Park Dr., Largo) Intormation:800 779.4910 Dtstance from campu s : 51 miles

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The Catalyst by Michael Gimignani Scar (Jeremy Irons), who is plotting Mufasa' downfall with three nasty, giggly hyenas (Whoopi Goldberg. Cheecb Marin and Jim Cummings). screen, it feels like a much larger movie than it is. --Eight years after its initial cinematic release, The Lion King (1994) remains the very best animated fea ture of all time. Other 'cartoon ,' whether Disney-made or other wise, have been funnier or more technologically advanced, or both. But no animation has the triking viual weep, the near-perfect script, or the emotional power of The Lion King, which was JU t re-released into a handful of IMAX and 'large-fonnat' theatres aero s the country. Most important, perhap he need to work on that growl, or risk the furure ridicule of zebras and cutter ants alike. The going is about to get crueler, and Simba-who will suffer an anguished exile from hi home -needs all the life lessons he can get. Beyond the beautiful art of thl ftlm, which rolls out a pellbinding African landscape tretching to skies that glow with magical illuminations of sun and star characters are everything. And they really nailed lhe voice talents, as this is the first Di ney movie to feature big-name tar as voice talents. It' all calculated to be wonderfully entertruning, and almost every frame hits the mark. In Lion King's Africa (or a Disney version thereof), Simba (the voice of Jonathan Taylor Thomas as a child, Matthew Broderick as an adult) i the son of boomy, beloved King Mufasa (James Earl Jones). The preco cious Simba discovers growing up i tough on a lion prince. He mu t con tantl heed the w rd of his rna es tic father and nagging tutor-bird Zazu (Rowan A on). He needs to wise up to hi deceptive Uncle hake pearean in tone, epic in scope, it seems more appropriate for grown-ups than for kids. Not only more matwe in its themes, it is al o the darkest and the most intense-one would wonder why they didn't just go ahead and make a cartoon version of Hamlet. If truth be told, even for adults it is downright strange. Even when the considerable dramatic action veers to encompass the inevitable pop-song ide trips music by Elton John, lyrics by Tim Rice-that seem By any standard you can apply to animated feature films-and Disney, of course, sets the standard-The Lion King is a beautiful, nappy piece of work that ex cites the imagination. It regularly splashes you with good humor, via a sutprisingly intelligent screenplay laced with '90 -i b gags, pun and droll remar that sometimes pierce like a dagger. Lion King IMAX i now playing at Chann.elsi.de sli tl do or awkwardl The Lion Kin tJ keeps its rhythm, its sense of goofy fun and its almost epic boldness rolling along. For only 87 minutes on Orlando. 1be Lion King is also available on VHS and DVD from virtually all video nmtal stores. Loca Hollywood 20 Mam Street, Sarasota About Schmidt (R) 1:10 4:10 7:05 9:55 Agent Cody Banks (PG) 1Z:15 2:45 5:10 7:45 10:10 Basic (R) 12:05 2:30 4:55 7:00 7:40 9:25 10:10 Boat Trip (R) 12:05 2:25 4:45 7:05 9:30 Bringing Down the House (PG13) 12:10 1:00 2:40 4:15 5:10 7:10 7:40 9:40 10:10 Chicago (PG-13) 12:152:45 5:15 7:45 10:15 Dreamcatcher (R) 12:30 3:45 6:55 9:25 10:05 + BAG Units as low as $21.00*/month LJxoted off U.S. 41 2 traffic liglm north of Nw College at 455 Broden Office 941-355-5559 Ofc Hours: Mon-Fri 9 -6 Sat 9-5 ACCESS 7 DAYS A WEEK 7 A.M 9 P.M. INCLUDING HOLIDAY WE HAVE THE LOWEST RATES FOR SELF STORAGE ANYWHERE! psssstttt!!! beat the "Ringling" crowd ... DON'T WAIT TIL IT'S TOO lATE!l! GaJ!gs of New York (R) 12:00 3:30 Head of State (PG-13) 12:20 2:40 5:00 7:25 9:45 Old School (R) 12:10 2:25 4:40 7:15 9:35 P!glet's Bi_g Movie (G) 12-:30 2:3U 4:40 7:10 Spirited Away (PG) 12:40 4:15 7:15 10:05 Tears of the Sun (R) 12:45 4:20 7:20 0:05 The Core (PG-13) 12:00 1:00 3:30 4:05 6:50 7:15 9:50 10:15 The Hours (PG-13) 2:35 4:10 7:00 9:50 The Hunted (R) 12:00 2:20 4:40 7:00 9:25 e Quiet American (R) 12:10 2:40 5:05 7:35 10:00 View from the TQP (PG-13) 12:20 2:35 4:50 T.20 9:35 Cobb Parkway 8 University Parkway, Sarasota 25th 2:00 4:55 7:50 Catch Me If You Can (PG-13) 1:50 5:00 8:00 3'wide x 7'deep x 8'high -IJtandard untt plus tax+ a one me $5.00 admln. Daredevil (PG-13) LJ!.iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifiieeii. :SO 1 : 15 9 : 4 5 Final De tination 2 (R) 2:20 4:30 7:10 9:35 Frida (R) 1:55 7:00 Maid in Manhattan (PG-13) 1:50 7:00 The Life of David Gale (R) 4:15 9:20 e Lord of the Rings: The Two owers (PG-13) 2:30 7:30 The Wild Thornbenys Movie rd9:40 Two Weeks Notice (PG-13) 2:15 4:30 7:10 9:45 Burns Court c ema Pineapple/Burns, Sarasota City of God (R) 5:15 8:15 Shanghai Ghetto 1:45 5:00 7:45 The Piani t (R) 1:30 4:45 8:00 Mo ie Times are valid thro gh Thursday.

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J The c.t., t CATALYsT perspective Aprill, 2oo3 Is it ''hateful'' to make military recruiters feel ''not welcome?'' Michael Sanderson "I know, like me, you fmd these ac tion to be disgu ting, hateful, and embarrassing to New College and USF. If you indeed share the e concerns please feel free to share with me any information you might have about the identity of our The moral respon ibility for the collat eral damage of combat is difficult terrain, and the rea ons for the current war likewi e difficult to simplify. I believe that as we di cuss this, the American military is ordering our troop to kill innocent people through immoral means, for ends that are su picious and political. emotional behavior when based on moral sentiments. The issue was blown out of proportion by unfortunate timing, due to events beyond the control of any of us. OPINION tudents who participated in these events." On Thursday, March 21. the day before spring break, Dean of Student Mark Blaweiss publicly threatened tudents with 'judicial procedure just a the United States began bombing Iraq in our hock and awe" campaign. The next day I re ceived the following from Dean Blawei : "Mike: "I am not trying to be area tic -I would appreciate your thoughts about this going out on the rodent li t erv. If the military situation wasn't so seri ous I would have laughed: Dean Blaweiss asked me to use the e-mail li t for a pur po e I had ranted against, and specifically he a ked me to intrusively bother every one in order to hame some New College tudents for acting out. He might have correctly anticipated my reaction, though. The pointles bashing of the military, more than anything else, led me to want off anarchy@ ncf.edu. Fur thennore, I lived with Army reservist and New College tudent Aidan Delgado one In that context, how do we react to the presence of military recruiter and their promotion of military "careers" and the in vitation for our fellow students to join the system our political leaders are abu ing? I myself would have walked around, but I respect those tudents who, when con fronted with the scene, acted on the moral implications allegedly cursed and spit. Yet this encounter is part of a wide pread reaction to the American mili tary campaign. One other powerful news item, from the Saturday, March 29 Washington Post, informs my thinking: 'The United States has said it is inves tigating whether its forces caused the market blast Friday m a mainly Shiite neighborhood of Baghdad. But many Arabs said the bloodshed was clearly the fault of the United States. 'The outrage was a1 o felt in Syria, which suffered war casualties when a U.S. missile accidentally hit a bus load of civil ians Monday in Iraq about 1 00 miles from the Syrian border. "Yesterday, the University of South florida Sarasota/Manatee held a Career Fair in the Suda.koff Conference Center. As part of therr event they invited the United States Army to come, set-up their climbing wall, and allow intere ted students to hear about career opportunities in the Army. ummer, and the last time the Army et up it climbing wall, I climbed to the top with out connecting my surprising achievement to the bombing of defenseless civilians. 'The invited guests decided they were not welcome and left the campus." In con text, that does not strike me as "di gusting, hateful, and embarrassing." They had every right to be there, but they were not welcome at that moment. It's worth noting they were invited by USF as part of a very different interaction with the campus then we have; they set up outside students' homes at a moment when pas sions were most inflamed. '"I was watching what was happening and I found myself cursing for the first time in my life,' a 17-year-old student named Lama told the Reuters news agency. 'I felt I wanted to kill, not only curse.'" "As they were setting up their wall near Pei (first cowt) a few NCF students began yelling epitaphs at them and some spat at them as well. The invited guests decided tbe-y wae not welcon:le and left tbe campus. Except on that Thursday, however, when "career opportunities" in the military vividly included the bombing of Baghdad. The bombardier in the B-52 had a choice to be there, but the Iraqi children in the Baghdad marketplace had no such choice. I would hope Dean Blaweiss would have more respect for students' clearlyAs students in America, we do not have to listen when we're told to shut up and not cur e-specially not when facing those who come to our community and in vite us to kill. Diversity problems not necessarily linked to school's failings Naomi Campa GUEST OPINION My opinion is in response to an article by Nathaniel Burbank ("Problems With Diversity," March 12, 2003), and letters to the editor by Steve Scott, but it has been brewing all year with the continued popularity of racial diversity complaints. I am one of those unfortunate, under-represented, low-income background minorities. No, 1 am not the fashionable 'African-American' student; I am what you call 'Hi -panic.' My family' home is located in a predominantly black and spic neighborhood in Miami, and I therefore attended a school where the black/white ratio was the exact re ciprocal of this school. I am the first to agree the lack of diversity on campus sometimes sucks. But the key word is 'some times.' Although I miss interaction with the motley spectnun I am used to, I can still appreciate the caliber of student I find at New College. When I was deciding what college to go to, my priority was on the education, not the etlmicity of the student body. This is not to say diversity i not im-portant, but it is to say lhat college is for education. Although diversity does, well, diversify education, a good education is not terribly contingent with high diversity. Suggestions have been made to take away the importance of SXI'/ACf scores for admission. My response: I would like to be able to confidently say my peers have a good head on their boulders, even if it mean sacrificing a few more ap plicants of any race. Some have said that it is unfair, because people of low incomes (of course, the only poor people ever included in that tatement are minoritie ) do not have the money for 'expensive tests' and their preparation courses. Fellow peers, whoever claims that to be true must be at least one thing rich (or at least middle class). In Aorida, the SAT andACf are offered for free to low income students, just as waivers are issued for equally costly college applications. 1be limit is not just one per test, ei ther. The tate gives up to three waivers; yes, three, for each test Three also happens to be the number colleges u ually set as the limit for taking the best of each score, so most people don't take more than that anyway. I, for one, have never paid for any standardized test I took. I never took any prep courses, but assuming I had wanted to, that would not have been an expense ei ther. Schools usually offer SAT/ ACT preparatory courses as an elective. Hell, you don't even have to go to a class on your free time since you're probably working; you get credit for the course as a class, and it is free. Advanced Placement and International Baccalaureate tests are not even an issue because no one pay for them. As for the availability of advanced courses, AP pecifically, online courses are offered for students who do not have the opportunity to take them at their own school. These courses also, in effect, cany over to college. At New College they are used to cover the new Lib eral Arts Requirements and students do receive semester and ISP credits for any junior co11ege credits in Aorida. I suppose, then, that high school does count Paying for college is not usually a problem either. New College is not exactly stingy with money. They perhaps only have the large merit based scholarships on the NCF web site, but two things must be considered First, New College ha-; Foundation and Founders scholarships available, which they are quite gen-erous with. Second, if a student qualified for this school, then they prolr ably have the grades for a meritbased scholarship from New College as well, (not to mention Bright Futures Scholarships for Aorida students). Those two reasons aside, federal and state aid i need-based, as are several specifically African-American and Hispanic scholarships. The money is there for those who need it From all the minorities I call friends in Miami from low-income backgrounds (from black and white to red and yellow), all tho e who wanted to pursue a higher education are doing it Those who chose not to follow the scholarly path are not To conclude, many members of the student body are so ardent for diversity that they are forgetting the fact that we are in a performance oriented environment. This i school. We are here to get an education, and although diversity does provide a better social life as well as different perspectives in the classroom, the bottom line here is ability not skin color. have seemed to forget one thing: It IS not that we are not ac cepting any minorities, it is that not many are applying. Did it ever occur to any one that perhaps (fMunately or not) the people we are attempting to harpoon and drag to this school might not want to be here? Perhaps this fonn of education just is not for everyone? This is not to imply that this fonn of education is or is not for a certain ethnicity. This is simply to say that New College has always attracted its own. It would be good to attempt to attract diverse students from differ ent cities, ethnicities, and incomes by having Admi ions representatives visit their chools, etc. But what we do not need is to compro mise the adnussions process in any way, or to make excuses in order to coerce certain types of people into coming to this school Should we next call Major League Baseball not diverse enough for having too few black people and add the National Basketball Association for not having enough whites, Hispanics, or Sports are physical compe tition. In a professional league, the best man who wants to play will be accepted. Education is a mental competition. In an honors college, the best man who also wants to play should be admitted. Choice and de tennination are what marlc a New College student; race and income have no part in either.

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____ C_x_T_A_LY_S_T perspective LmERS TO THE EDITOR Need-blind isn't exactly blind to student need ition increases put forth by the Florida government each year. However I am a bit foggy on the issue of how admitting To the Editor, students with "academic achievement In the March 19 issue, Steve Scott intellectual promise, leadership ability: decided to use The Catalyst's "Letter to and a commitment to community ser the Editor" to voice his views regarding vice" truly has anything to do with not his interpretation of what he termed being race and class-blind concerning New College's "the opposite of needadmissions. based admissions" policy. I would like Perhaps I am being naive when I say the opportunity to use this medium as a that I do not believe that my "academic means to state my opinion on the matter. achievement, intellectual promise, leadFirst I would like to point out that ership ability, and commitment to the Admissions policy of New College community service" was purely the reis not "the opposite of need-based adsuit of coming from a divorced, missions." New College operates with low-income household in the Midwest. what is known as a need-blind admisHowever I am a white female, some sions policy, which is not the same thing thing that New College seems to have as being the "opposite of need-based adquite a bit of. Perhaps I should not have missions." As stated by Mr. Briell in a been admitted and someone of a differ letter to the editor (The Catalyst, March ent sex, race, religion, class, and writing 12, 2003) this means that New College ability who, by not showing "academic chooses not to take financial need into achievement, intellectual promise, lead consideration when looking at an appliership ability, and commitment to cant for admission. community service" as a result of their Since Mr. Scott is having some diffifreedom from the pre-groomed on a col culty understanding this concept, I offer lege track should have. an example of what the opposite of a Another concern I have is how I re need-blind admissions policy is, comceived scholarships when I did not monly known as need-aware At Smith receive an excellent SAT score. Does College a limited amount of scholarship this mean that received them in error assistance i o a ... u.a tJetum w so that a student t-served basis. When the cholarship with an SAT score above mine may be funding runs out, the admissions policy the new scholarship recipient? More switches to need-aware, meaning that if than 50 percent of the student body reo you cannot prove that you are capable ceived a test score higher than mine, of paying your fees, your application and according to your view of the ad will be automatically rejected. Hence llllSStons policy and scholarship the reason I feel Mr. Scott's assumption distribution my scholarship belongs of the admissions policy as "the oppowith someone more pre-groomed and site of needs-based admissions" is a bit on the college track than I am. askew. It is for this reason that I ask Mr. On a more positive note I believe Scott to show me the evidence that is that Mr. Scott's challenge for stronger available to him which is not available need-based awards is to be commended. to me to which I must quite obviously I would like to know when he is making be an exception to so that the student his merit-based funds available, as my body can know the names of the evil Pell Grant with its $50 annual increase students with above par SAT scores that is not enough to compensate for the tuhave lain claim to all of the scholarships CORRECTIONS --The Catalyst, in an earlier issue, misidentified the use of "proverbial MSG" in Sodexho cooking. Sodexho does not use MSG, and The Catalyst did not purposefully claim that Sodexho was using MSG. The Catalyst apologizes for any misunderstanding. --The Catalyst, in an earlier issue, printed a wrong edition of one of Op-Ed Columnist Michael Sanderson's opinions. The issue has been corrected for viewing online, as well as in the archives. The Catalyst regrets the error. Contribution Guidelines Editorial: A statement of the opinion of the paper as determined by the editorial board. At the Catalyst. editorial boards are formed on an ad hoc, issue:.by-issue basis and con ist of editors and staff miters. Only the editorial board can produce editorials. Opinion: An op--ed piece written y a member of the Catalyst staff or a guest contributor. Opinions dQ n t ecessarily represent the views of the Catalyst, but rather opinions of which we feel the New College community should be made aware. Opinion pieces range from 250 to 500 words in and the ediavailable and are contributing to the "white hegemony," particularly the white recipients of the National Hispanic Scholarship. I would also like to ask Mr. Scott to please clarify when it was that New College changed from being Florida's Honors College to become just another Florida College. I would also like to see the correlation between our attrition rate of 72 percent and SAT scores,. Should this prove to be correct, a new policy should be created banning the admis sion of any applicant with an SAT score over 1250 to ensure a higher graduation level. I do not like feeling as though I am severely misinformed and would ap preciate the illumination in this time of intellectual darkness. Morgan Smith Disb'action from war is the last thing New College needs Greetings and respect, Catalyst peo ple! I wanted to voice my appreciation of the series of articles on terrorism and the Patriot Act that y' all have been run ning the past two weeks. I also have a response to the quote from Maxeme Thchman in last issue's article about New College student reac tions to the war in Iraq. She said, "We've been working with Mark aweiss on a number of thinss. We're trying to distract students with special activities, but also giving them infor mation, like travel advisories." I think that DISTRACTION is the very LAST thing that New College students need. I recently attended a Peace Vigil at Lido Beach, with about a dozen other New College students, and one of the songs we sang as about 100 people in terchangeably held hands and lit candles on the windy beach was, "I ain't gonna study war no more." I wa struck by my own hypocrisy in partic ipating in singing that song, as what I am doing as a college student IS studying war, and I don't plan on stop ping any time soon. I believe the point tors should be contacted beforehand in order to insure space for guest opinion. Letter to the Editor: A reader's response to previous articles, letters. editorials or opinion pieces, or a response to an issue or event related to New College not covered in the Catalyst. Letters to the Editor should be no more than 250 words. Contributions: A factual article written by someone not on staff. Contributions should be informative and pertinent to the interests of New College students as a whole. Contributions may range in length from 250 to 500 words. 'j',,' '' ,: .. W:i' of the song was to encourage ACTION in the place of CONTEMPLATION over these upsetting events. Julia Onnie-Hay 'Liberal' can be a derogatory nick name as well I would like to congratulate Nathaniel Burbank and The Catalyst for his article, "Opinion: New College is an 'open,' not 'liberal,' campus soci ety." I very much agree with the issues that he brought up, and I think that this is something very, very important for New College students and Admissions to keep in mind as we plan to expand the student body .. New College shows itself to be a "very liberal school" on many terms. I understood "liberal" to be what Nathaniel Burbank pointed out to be "open" to different views, ideas and opinions. It really saddens me to find out that when some New College students fight against what they call "bigotry, hypocrisy and close-mindedness of conservatives," all that they are really doing is establishing their OWN big otry, hypocrisy and close-mindedness under the label of "liberal." It Jaear a Bl pects of a student (m this case, my own dressing habits) are not "what New CoJJege should be," for it was different than his own (and his circle of friends') idea. What New College should be, and what it claims to be, is what Nathaniel Burbank dubbed "open" as opposed to "liberal." It seems like we fight against the "pop culture" just to create our own "counter-culture" the very "pop cul ture" we are fighting against! Keep up the good work, and thanks for everything. Gus Oliveira All submis ion should be placed in box 75 or e-mailed to catalyst @ncf.edu by Friday at 5:00 p.m. to appear in the following Wednesday's issue. The Catalyst reserves the right to edit all submis sion for space, grammar or style. Speak Out! Have a different opinion than this one? Phone:359-4266 Email: catalyst @nd.edu Snail Box 75

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The Cataclysm THINGs You DoN'T CARE ABOUT April 1, 2003 NEW COLLEGE RUMOR MILL GUIDE From the Archives: by Byron Hartsfield You have no doubt heard a great deal about the New College Rumor Mill. No one ever seems to know exactly what it is, or what it looks like but it is ( or so rumor says) the source of all the irresponsible slanders that fly so readily around campus (or at leas t you've heard they do, even though no one ever seems to tell you any.) WelL now you no longer need to wonder what the Mill is, or what gossip you're missing, because I have decided to provide you with a Rumor Mill of your very own. If you find yourself low on reliable gossip (i.e. made up by someone other than yourself) you can create your own gossip using only a name and two dice. And through the miracle of myth, your new rumor will become reliable gossip for the first person you tell it to. Just pick a subject, and you can randomly roll a verb, object, place and motive for some sordid or ridiculous dead. This table is presented for amusement purpose If someone starts actually slandering you using it, it's not our fault. Do not even bother suing the school for emotional damage. It's already been done once this year. 1 Subject. Pick someone you know (or just feel like talking about) l. Verb. Roll the dice. 2. Stole the wallet of 3. Slashed the tires of 4. Called the cops on 5. Put up nasty signs about 6. Had sex with 7.1<; dating 8. Broke up with 9.Attacked 10. Is suing (roll Object) for having (roll another Verb) him/her ll. Is spreading false rumors about 12. Bought drugs from 3. Object Roll two dice. 2 Antonio Banderas 3. the Campus Police 4. Dean Michalson 5-8. A random student (point at the student directory with your eyes closed.) 9. Bill Clinton 10. Dean Schenck 11. Trent Reznor 12. the Mormon Tabernacle choir 4. Location. Roll two dice. 2. In the back parking lot 3. In the cafeteria 4. In Palm Court 5. At Perkins 6. At Shell 7. At the last Wall 8. In his/her dorm room 9. In the Pub Office 10. In the Cop Shop 11. In Bangkok 12. At the Medieval Fair 5. Motive. Roll two dice. 2. Out of desperation. 3. Because of his Oedipus complex (or her Electra complex) 4. To see what it would feel lik e 5 Whil e he/s h e w as trippin g other Vern) himlher 7. I have no idea why 8. To get back at (roll another Object) for (roll another Verb) him/her 9. Because be/she thought it was the right thing to do 10. Because he/she thought it was the wrong thing to do 11. For profit 12. To make a point This originally appeared in the April I, 1997 issue of'The Cataclysm. Open 7 days 10am-4am NOW HIRING Located directly behind Shel next to Career-Services about the ki lers? Michael Gimignani OPINION Television, newspapers, and even qualified people have told us for years that serial killers are normal human be ings. Plus, many of them have done interesting things in their time off from killing, not to mention their time "on the job." So why can't one of them speak at New College's next com mencement? Serial killers are an important un tapped resource. While not all of them would make for passable raconteurs, a convicted murderer wouldn't have to speak like Charles Nelson Reilly to captivate an audience. And, as The Silence of the Lambs taught us, serial killers can be some of the most articu late and thought-provoking men and women in existence True members of society, even One alleged mass murderer Jame s Nichol s, jus t appeare d i n Mic hael Need I say more? Interestingly, a survey recently con ducted by the New York Sun-American found that ninety percent of human conversation is anecdote. Couldn't a murderer easily pull a life story out of his (or her) ass? Think about walking up to a erial killer and asking, "So, what was it like, murdering that guy?" That would be some thrill, having someone speak calmJy about murder. In other words, human beings love tragedy. It's our nature. There seem to be more reality and voyeur shows on network television than actual "fake" shows, because our ADD-afflicted so ciety has grown out of drama. It's so much funnier to laugh at real people, isn't it? So let's take that to a: logical conclusion. Real speakers are expensive. I don't want to spend $12,000 on Cornel West for about eight minutes of speech. Serial killers would be cheap. I'm sure a lot of them want to talk about the er rors of their ways. It might even have one of those cheesy morals, like an afters chool special. Of course if the proceeding disinte -LIIiilillll terward. There might even be nudity. Human cost of Iraq war: 500,000. Cost of Grand Funk Oil Preferred stock (March 2003): $45. 'Nuff said. We know that, as an investor, you have a lot of things to worry about. That's why Grand Funk is proud to offer industry-low rates on all our new commodities stocks. So stop watching television and hop down to your nearest Grand Funk today --these prices won't last! GIL\NJ) J11JNK llAIIJlOJ\D BANK, N .A. We're an American

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LIFELESS CARTOONS m ALL RiGH't l'/t1 HCADit4G Ho. YouW Gfl/JG To H To 8E ( -TAkER of 111 THE B fAk ... THINk '(w'LL B HAt CYIUS _......,.,

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The Catacl sm SKEWED PERSPECTIVE I 1, 2003 the CATACLYSM C"P)'n tit 2003. 111 Cat 1)""'1 All nghl '""'"eel JosH # 4 FAN Michael Gimignani PETE Dow# I FAN Sarah Ze/1 Summer heat doesn't hold a candle to New College's Josh Orr Fever -------josH #2 FAN Caitlin Young NoT A FAN OF jOSH Whitney Krohn josH #I FAN Nathaniel Burbank jOSH.COM EDITOR Erin Marie Blasco the hoards of tudents that daily surround Orr's cafe teria table like iron filing to a mighty magnet. While Jo h is not my muse, per se, his pirit has inspired many individuals on thi campu Phenomena like that cannot be ignored," said Miller. Authorities outside of New College are also taking note. Aside from honorary citation from the city of Sarasota, and awards from local Freemasons, about which Orr refused to comment, national academia has felt his power. New College is better looking this semester than Fodor's "Top 200 Universitie ," a college-rating ever before While many attribute the overall handjournal for prospective tudents, ranked New College omene s improvement to a recent surge in miling as lflO in it 2004 edition, a full twelve spot above its students, both trends can be attributed to a ingle phe 2003 ranking. nomenon. "The calculation i pretty imple," aid Fodor's Third-year transfer student Josh Orr enrolled at Editor Diane Bosworth "You've got a guy who' New College in Jan. 2003 and faculty and tudents from California is left-handed, [extremely] hand alike have been glowing ever ince. some, a rna ter of the black arts has impeccable taste New College Admi sions Czar Randy Darrelton, in mu ic, and used to play in a band with River who evaluated Orr's admissions application placed Phoenix .... That will raise a school's overaU ranking the new student's potential as "somewhere between a at least nine spots. The River Phoenix connection and young [New College Pre ident] Gordon Michal on left-handedne s alone will bump a chool up at least and Florence Nightengale. two [spots]," Bosworth said Growing u !s that he was never _too in-The wunderkind Orr is quick to explain his Ieftpire al educat10n, but eventually decided on hander pride to others, noting that Left-handed ew College based on a gut "Lt. ke damn' people on average are _80% feeling. more likely to be geruu e s No v o Colleg i ans are t hankthan rig h tb anders, according ing God th a t h e d i d. ''l think it's totally awe1bousft pmfisposed to ge:. some that Josh passed up a professional European nius, life wasn't always so peachy for Josh Orr. basketball career to come to school here," said thirdSociety's recent acceptance of ]eft-banders is bitter year David M. Robin on. "I can't say that I would sweet for him, as former misconceptions about have done the same. But I think the New College "lefties" provided many threatening challenges for ladies are giving him enough fanfare, if you know such a tudent in the ignorant, righty-dominated acawhat I mean, heh heh heh," Robinson said demic climate of the 1980s. handicap when his amateur photojournalism endeav ors were noticed by members of rap group the WuTang Clan, a they chanced by him on the street The ladies concur emphatically with the percep"They made [leftie ] use tive Robinson. special "left-handed" scis"Jo h i the handsomest boy at chool. Between sors," the tip of which "were his crazy sense of humor, a smile that the girls go completely rounded, and their crazy for, and those divine red locks [of hair], I think too edges dull to cut anything. "V ah I' _J b n h. one afternoon. The Wu soon I.e u a g tm. after commissioned him to document their "Killah -President Michalson's daughter Bees" performance tour in a he's quite a catch," said his mother, Laurie Orr. Rightie were given sharp cis ors that cut well, and But the girls aren't alone in the awe. so naturally excelled when it came to art projects." "The kid is special, no doubt about it," said A sensitive artist, Orr says that the institutionalLiterature profe or Mac Miller. Miller's current poized low-balling of lefties left him creatively stifled etry project, a chapbook entitled Jo h Dynamite, and hopeless. focuses on the "Orr Fever" that blanketed both sides "If it weren't for Wu-Tang," Orr explained, ''I'd of the Sarasota-Bradenton line in late January. probably still be drinking Schlitz [Malt Liquor] on Whether or not the "Fever" will reach epidemic status downtown [San Diego] street comers, d.re ing home is still unsure, though most probable. less veterans' wound and singing Smiths' songs for Miller said his creative obligation to Josh per onal olace and spare change." Dynamite was realized upon flr t seeing Orr finally realized hi left-handedness was not a photo-essay. WuTang member "Method Man and Inspectah Deck are both lefties. They knew where I was corning from, and turned me on to load of research about left-hand/right-brain orientation that has only recently come to light in major medical journals. I read and re earched [left-handed info] like a madman [during) the entire "Killah Bees" tour," Orr said. By the end of the tour "I felt like a rna ive weight had been lifted off of me. Meth and I were waving big left-handed middle fingers in Righty's face one night in Vancouver, and it just hit me: I can make something of my elf." Dear Editors (the ones besides me), I appreciate Mr. Orr's presence on campus. and I Soon after Orr began a year-long college search This letter stems from many things hope that his time here will help to bring about positive in 2001 which concluded with hi arrival at New One is what I feel to be a lack on the part of changes. Perhaps he could work for Admissions as College Life ha mellowed out for Orr ince movAdmissions to recruit diverse applicants. Second, ,he Hot Guy Ambassador." I'm sure he has stories to ing into the quiet ew College community, which is this week's editorial. Third is just old-fashioned tell that would inspire many red-blooded young men to was "exactly what I was looking for. I needed somefrustration. come to a college where competition for girls is almost time to chill out and sculpt my mind with the We need to be recruiting hotter, straighter, taller nil. inspiration of new face excited about getting acamales. If there's any under-represented group on Josh is not enough. Have you seen his waiting list? demic. Touring the world with rap stars isn't all it's campus, that's the one. Sure everyone complains that (http://studentweb.ncf.edu/Catalyst!Joshyjosh.html) cracked up to be." alternative cultures aren't represented ... but maybe He's going to have to become a ,hesis-studenf (aka Whether or not Mr. Orr finds that ew College is those candidates aren't coming here because there's seventh-year) in order to fill all the work orders. "all it' cracked up to be" remain to be seen, though one thing that we lack that can't be replaced by a Something must be done. Stop the insanity. the entire campus community certainly eems to sterling liberal arts education. think that he is, in the word of Anthropology proSeya. Caitlin Young fe or Maria Vesperi ''All that and a bag of chip ."

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POORLY-ATTENDED EVENTS PAGE April 1, 2003 New Co lege liberals learn to Nathaniel Burbank/Ga/acl}:rm Everyone's getting in on the act: New College President Gordon Michalson betrays his Yale college experience with some well-tuned drumming, but the bandana is Dolce and Gabbana (above); The New College flag was slightly redecorated for the event, using only 100% natural indigo and silkberry from the Crosley Estate, and 50% post-consumer content mylar balloons line the tables (below). by josh Orr Seeing Dean of Students Mark Blawei s and President Gordon Michalson twirling in a sunset drum circle is not an experience that many New College stu dents can boa t of. Yet group of lucky prospective student were grooving with the both fellows last weekend, within hour of setting foot on campu Self-Assured Liberals Weekend--part of recent ad mis ions initiatives, like Multicultural Weekend and Jaded Hippie Weekend, to attract contingencies of stu dents that New College lacks--solidified New College's dedication to the liberal arts through a mod ified visitor weekend geared towards the interest of elect, prospective students. The call for more self-assured, liberal students comes in light of the soaring Republican presence on carnpu which, according to a recent study, has in creased from three-percent to eight-percent of the student body in the pa t five years. It is a trend that some fear will only continue escalating. "But this weekend was not about fearing the Republicans," said Admissions Czar Randy Darrelton. "It was about celebrating the liberal e sence of New College." All guests clo ed Thur day and Saturday with a drum circle at the bay led by the surprisingly agile Michalson and Blaweiss, though their jam band, "Mike Mikey and the Weis -outs," declined playing the event. A eminar entitled, "Radical Solutions from Radical In titutions" provided prospective and current stu ents w1 i saving the wor1d. Most agreed on certain necessities, like saving wild1ife, meditating, educating world lead ers about cultural relativism, and a world vegan revolution, while some New College students turned heads with notions worthy of their "radical" reputation. First-year Ben Peepen's proclamation of the neces sity to "destroy the middle-class, the historically deluded buffer zone for oppressive capitalist leaders," took many prospective families aback, particularly ince they were all of middle-cia s incomes. Admissions spokesman Dana Forrest denied charge that the chool had begun pandering to the ove each other "oppressive" middle-class contingent over lower-in come students due to decreased state funding for financial aid. "It's not my fault that the overwhelming majority of jaded hippies and [self-as ured liberals] come from middleand upper middle-class home ," she said. "Where else can you look for individuals so contented with liberal arts?" Darrelton aid that all guests of Self-Assured Liberals Weekend were invited based on information they provided in the "Optional information" section of the 2003-2004 admissions application. The decision was based solely on response to the que tion, "What criti ci m if any, would you make of George W. Bu h?" A11 applicants who provided positive commentary on the pre ident were di eluded from the liberals search. Priority of invitation among those who pro vided negative criticism was decided by evaluating their ''critici m quotient." The criticism quotient was arrived at through math-continued on b ck cover


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