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EDITORIAL So what is Blessed Relief? I took the title from a soothing seven minute piece on-the Mothers of Invention's 1971 album The Grand But, less important though certainly more pertinent, it is your only student run publication at New College this first term of the 1978-79 academic year. !hat's right YOUR paper! Since it is your paper, I'm going to need your input to produce a paper which you New College students find palatable. Since it's the only student publication, I would like it to be as all-encompass as possible. As a matter of personal preference I'd like Blessed Relief be a predominantly artistic journal. I want to see beaucoups of poetry and sbort stories in my mailbox everyday! I want a greater emphasis on graphics and cartoons than I've seen in New College student publications in the past. 3ut I realize this being a weekly publication Blessed Relief is potentially a way to get inside New College news developments and announcements to ;ou out there. Ropefully this can be done in a paper of this sort with a little more artistic flair than is demonstrated in the campus news. I will ;ladly devote a page per issue to the S.E.C.'s activities another to announcements from organizations and individuals here on campus. Even kinky ?ersonal adds like one might find in the Village Voice or Swinger's Magazine vould be welcomed with pleasure. I anticipate some sort of feedback. After all, at this point, this is the only paper for, about and by New College students. The Editor Campus Box Number 520 ?.S. An organizational meeting for Blessed Relief will be held Monday, 18th, in the cafeteria at 6:00 PM. ANNOUNCEMENTS ETC. Jeff tells me that things are coming together ac WNCR, the New College Station. Broadcasting should begin two weeks. Keep your eyes ;eeled for posters soliciting O.J. 's, etc. sometime next week. Matthew wants us all to know about the upcoming Film Co!l'lllittee r;,eeting September 18, at 10:15 in the T.A. You can help pick the films that are shown! The editor would like to add congratulations are in order !or !".at thew for getting Livinq" for us this weekend. Don't miss it. Mark tells us the New College Camping and Trail Association will be off its new year by doing something or other, but he didn't get the ::essac;e to me on time .. Sorry, Mark. Steve plays guitar and piano and is looking for a female vocalist to =armonize with. Call 355-5741 or drop a note in Box tll7. Dan: Please home. Your hamsters miss you. Signed, Furry and Weebie. Ed says his face is nice to sit on. Good luck, Ed. Box 529 come play softball Saturday at 2:00 PM in front of the Library** 1 ODE TO A BUG CROSS 1 NG A ROOM .J s.::. / :j;!"' :-:a.-e ;;:..:: -:\Jt"-:! l.e.;.s I :o 3 t:1e 3 :::.r FOURTH OF J U L Y '77arry you val!ey ca..!"'!"Y on cl ca!"':)USe fire4orks & re7elry blindly "love it or leave lef"; (you "civilized" fun) by a ro?.dslde g=::!.Zi!:i" reme:-:berine; How litt:le we skies steep cl.i!llbs T!>r.! ?aine :neteor sho..,ers gone miss you. FOUND When are you getti A cigarette and the radio, form the usual path to sleep What time is it"? Grip the bookshelf and the bed's end. PUll out. I gotta go now. Cold water burns darkened ey unclamps the jaw. So, I'll see you 1 Smile, foe the Hell of it.
GHOST OF EDITORS PAST Washington, D.C. 4 September, 1978 Dear Mr. Vickers, Byzantium* and New College ... especially Freshmen, By this I'm sure Orientation is over, and r.ost of you in the incoming class have become sufficiently disoriented and confused. Thus, you are quite ready to begin your New College sojourns such as they are. For the purpose of this letter, it might help to think of yourself at the beginning of a journey--a journey which may end in academic ruination, scr.izophrenia, loss of innocense or some kinky combination of all three. You way even come out of your travails a budding scholar, genius of the first order and all around good Joe. Like the galactic wanderer you are, you will meet with a host of adversities. I dare not try to name them all for fear that there are some lurking in the new year which even I have r.ot envisioned. You must think of yourself as the typical existential hero, bounced from event to event by the randomness of the celestial forces. You are alone. Many of you are, for the first time, being plunged into the vortex of infinite cock and cunt. This means that sport-fucking will, for many of you, becoroe the reality once only drea.T.ed of back in the abyss of your high school days. You are now, for the most part, liberal, liberated free agents, and like most free agents, you are scrambling to join with other molecules to make your first of, for the most part, mdny linkages during your New College career. Inevitably there has already been the scramble for first week meat, a scramble which can end in agonizing failure or triumphant coitus. With success bursting forth for many of you, I would take this opportunity to against overconfidence. You may think you have merged body and soul with being only to find that that other human being has been doing a good deal of merging on the side--to such a point where you might approach him or her with a strearoer of Pavlovian drool running down your chin in eager anticipation of THE ACT, when, to your surprise, you will discover that the other has forgotten your and is currently involved with persons you have never seen before. This can cause you to a) threaten suicide from one of I.M. Pei's decaying bridges; b) not do any work for your entire first term (such is the greatness of your woe) hence you will find yourself pleading before the soreetime in mid-January; c) take revenge by being hostile to the person who has emotionally traropled you, not speaking to them at all for the rest of the forthcoming 3 to 4 years; d) screw their best friend or e) leave New College in total defeat and humiliation. If you are lucky, you will find another partner within the week. Other things which will occur while you're at New College: Angst will set in. You will age one year for every day you do not hand in your overdue work. You will discover the pleasures of drugs and/or alcohol. You will vomit all over your lover while he or she is in a drunken stupor. You will come out of the closet. You will go into the closet. You will suck, lick, or blow one or all of your professors thus developing a highly personal studentteacher relationship. You will become a favoured person in your class. You will become a disfavoured person in your class by reading a newspaper during a professor's lecture. You will get far behind in your work.not catching up for several years. You will hang out in the cafeteria with the in-crowd, sitting at the longest, noisiest and most obnoxious table. You will become a part of a clique, or worse, you will become part of a clique trying to effect social change. Things to be worried about: the New College massage, Olvsses by James Joyce, people who are better at a particular thing than you are, people who are better at a lot of particular things than you are, people who talk in hip jargon, people who are "in to" anything, smug overconfident upperclass persons (you will witness with pleasure many a downfall of such persons) people who enjoy pleasures of the body twenty-four hours a day, words such as existential, enui, angst, aesthetics, ontology, structuralism and intentional fallacy. The zeitgeist of the seventies is "boredom. But! find that, while agreeing that you're bored may be useful in certain sexual pursuits may be for the moment rewarding, in the long run those who are bored and/or unimaginative are, for the most part, boring. Those are the people who should not be at New College. Most people will probably not read this letter, but tho!!! of you who do may rest assured that you have no better idea of what New College is about than anyone else. Good luck anyway. Sailing to Byzantium* Herbert S. Guggenheim *editor's note: Last year, third term, Herb edited Byzantium. The initial idea behind this publication was to provide the student-publication-reading-public with a weekly conglomeration of poetry, short stories, art work and cartoons, as well as your basic collegiate type behind-the-scenes journalism. His paper had its distinctly good points, namely, the fact that he actually got ten issues printed in the course of the term. However people frequently complained that Herb was just using his paper as a vehicle in which he could take his ego for a ride. The fact is, Herb frequently waited till the last possible minute to put his paper together, at which point he would produce an entire issue by himself if there was a shortage of works by other students. Others complained that the paper's appearance was as slovenly as the editor's. Well, as rrueh as I liked Herb's idea for the weekly publication, some things are going to be done So, Herb, wherever you are, please don't take it as an insult to either you or William Butler Yeats that I've changed the title of your paper. No hard feelings. OK? Thank you to our contributors: Steve DaVerne Julie Herrod Diane Ducharme Larry Lewack Charles Treadwell Rico Spinutti Roger Bachman Greg Vickers, editor Herbert S. Voice of Experience
AN EXCERfJT FROM A NOVEL? by Roqer Bachman? K.\ZAKS. (.C .B. Reunion The plush carpet of the hotel lobby greeted his feet he stepped L'>. It would have nice to kick off the shoes And walk barefoot through it, that va.s unthinkable because of the posh interior. Discreetly expensive style la.:nps hung high on the walls at ten foot inter..als, and a crystal chandelier caught the attention of every with its d.azzli.og brU11ance. An expensive looking set of =atched prints adorned the walls a.t eye level. Despite the fact that other guests alao in their beach attire, the atnoosphere lll&de hilll self-conscious of h1s scantily-clad state. He approached the receptionist and said, "Hello, my n.ame is Phillips, John i'hUlips. I'd 11.ke the key to :mom )OJ. And are there a.ny for !lle? A middle-aged la.dy w1tb a plump figure and hom-rimmed glasses handed him his key and ansv "Yes, $1r. A telegram just arrived about a half-hour a.go." Jot-.'\ took the sealed envelope and opened it. It 11as from !Hami and read: P!J.aal Fla Xll m XXX PhilHps Siesta Royal S:rq .Recorder cooperative stop Stamp appoint.ner:t r:ext 1000 regards Winchester This meant that he had to see the recorder at the Florida \lest Coast Recoros ornce in Tampa the following clay at 10:00. John had been told to expect the message setting up his appointment, and he knew that the details pertaining to it would be set up station Kl, and he would report back to the station only 1f he couldn't &a.ke it as scheduled, so he nonchalantly said, "No reply," and took the elevator up to the third floor. 3 Upon arrlvl.ne; at the door of his room, John looked up And down the hall to verify that nobody was >latchi.og and down to in.spect the lo>ler left-hand edge or the door next to the hinge. What he :ut.w was an unbroken quarter-inch wax seal attached to the door a.nd the frame. The color and texture blended in neatly with the door, :aaking it invisible to 3Ll.y would-be room searchers. Satisfied that nobody had entered during his absence, John peeled off the seal, rolled 1t into a tiny ball, and nonchalantly strode iJ1 and thre>t himself on the bed. After a few ainutes' rest to clear hl.s llir:d, he called room service and ordrerd a double Manhattan. He gla.nced at his watch. Only a half-hour to go. Time to get ready. He went into the bathrooa and looked at himself 1n the llirror. \/hat he saw was good-maybe evo, perfect-and 1t made hilll smile. The clear green eyes gazed back at themselves 1r: a laughing manner, remirldi.og hi:m or when they had described as "p.tSsycat'$ eyes". Had his aood been different he may have seen a cloud,y set lookir.g back at him as they were veiled in thoU! resulting in a faraway, preoccupied expression. Or he could have taken in a cold, level stare (along with a half-smile on his lips) t"-t "-ve conveyed a message of supreme confidence. It was the stare most often seen the rest of the world, as John lll&de app1rent hl.s coplete control of every situation. Finally he m).ght have noticed tvo concentrated bundles of energy that flared 11.ke stars during the heat of his passion. The long, strajght nose gave h11l a powerful profile, and the firlely drawn mouth wa.s just the rl.ght size for hla=not. like the obolong hole in the face resulting i.n a toothy, almost glow in the dark smile that one sees in faoous aovie stars ar:d politic lacs. !:!ow ever, the rest of him vas the stereotyped young Hollyvood superstar. His face had the perfect oval shape aided by h).gh cheekbones and a rounded chin. The broom eyebrows were thick and well-defined blonde, without bushy. His hair provided the perfect finishing touch. It vas clark (He hated it bei.og des=ibed as dirty blonde .) thick, and slJ.ghtly vavy. The total 1llpress1on was a face envied men and adored women. He juaped into a cold shower to erase the self-adlliration rroa his aind He knew that tt vas fatal to rely on vhat one is instead of what one does. Now vas no tiae to rest on 'P"St rtctorl..es. His dynaalc person.a.lHy bad aa.de hla a aao of a.c:tlon. It had brOught hill this fa:r,and he would have to rely on it to carry hia through.
He r.ad finl.shed shaving 'fhen the vo.iter arrived with hl.s drl.nl<. He sat on the bed and sipped it, the bourbon to relax him. After finl.shing it, and notinghl.s resulting exceller:t state of lllnd he began to decide what to wear. John always :oade a fUss over his clotr.es. Tonight he would be 1n a classy restaurant, but he was not about to be restdcted to a dull, unima<;bative su.1t. llhat would it be? A Lacoste shirt? No, too casual. Hov about the leathe,-P'lttts? 1io, too wlld. Someth.1.r.g would be needed .. He finally decided on rust-colored corduroy trousers, and a. flashy print shirt With geo.,etrica.: desJ.u.s 1n colo!:"S to match his trousers. The Frye boots blended 1n perfectly, and ad:!ed an extra two Inches to his height. He turned toward the full-le"Sth aolrror, a.nd as usual was satisfied with his illlpeccable taste. He then proceeded to attend to business. S0111e "business"! Taking out a glrl he used to sl.,ep with and making her si1lg for her supper-and "hateve:: would follo". He felt gull ty and ashamed of the thought of her doL">g the dirty work whlle he p.unped her for all the l.nfo:r-'...ation he could get. No, he stlll bad so:ne feeling for her. She had been his first glrlfriend in college, and besides that she was the finest lover he had ever known. He wa.s luxuriating in memories of some of the finest nights of his life whe n he found hi.cn.self knock!.!>.g at her door. "Oh, hi John!" she said while throwing her arms around him and kissing h.l.m fully and He stood back and looked at her while her loving eyes smiled back at hilll. She wore a light blue silk blouse, a plaid sk:1rt i:o various shades of blue and gree:o, and elegant gree!'l p.unps. Since John had last seen her she had lost the last bit of baby-fat that had spelled her otherwise perlect figu..--e. Her long, black hair reached halfWay down he:back. The beauty or her face excited hilll because it held much promise for the co11ing night. "Judy, you look wonderful. He looked into the eyes that asked hilll to take her right then and there, while realizing that he would also like noth1.">g better. 3ut he remembered h.1s job, and he knew that he liould ha.,. to glean the i:ofonoatlon from her first, a.nd then hope that when he love to the she could i:oterpret it would be as a re-ward for a job well done. He hatedthe thought of using his bod,y i:o this manner, tut thee he re11embered a book that the Russians publl.shed for thel:r ae;ents. Its tiUe was Sex As The other side u.sed it, and that gave hilll soze sense of justification, tut he couldn't forget that he had been emotionally involved with Judy. However, it wa.s !a porta.nt that she didn't try to get more out of it than he could give. Any more than physical 1nvolve!llent could easlly ruin his present assignment. Besides, John hated cheap emotions, and the itinerant nature of his job precluded a lasting relationship that would allow true emotions to flaw freely. It would be perfect 1f she could accept his physical love as an expression of his :reelings for the perfect ending to the evening. her, and a.s Dinner couldn't have been more pleasant. He had another double Hanhatta.n and she a mai-tai whlle he ordered caviar, chateaubr!.and and for both of thell. Tiley ha.dn; t seen each other for over three years, and he told her about his 1m press ions or Harvard. He gave her a guarded version of the truth when she asked about h.1s job and his present assigru:lent. Then, amidst the main course, she told hilll of her graduate school experiences and her job at New College. the end of her monolog he dicln' t even k:now >
It set h1s mind racing. It couldn't be a Russ1.a.'\ subtarine, could it? But that. vas the ocl.y thing that could conceivably f1t her description. The evidence indicated that U>.e O!lo>ntion t.he very h1i;hest echelon in the Soviet ministry. On the sur-!"ace 1t appea!"'d to be totally ludicrous, yet it wa.s indeed :rosslble. John slaved hlJ::sel! down. He austn t juap to conclu.slons. He va.s certainly grasping at straws. :here was no way that he coul-l. report any or this v1sh!ul 1ntell1i;ence back to "ea:!qua.rte:
Ed: LD: Ed: LD: Ed: LD; locked office door was because it was the only refrigerator we have that could keep the samples frozen even in the event of an emergency. What was the nature of these samples? The first blood samoles were taken from a shark captured last December. This was the only i;olated mother nurse shark ever maintained in captivity. She was in the Hansen Building for months last year. We called her Sylvia. Alot of the blood samples were taken from Sylvia during her stay with us. There were also blood samples taken from all the sharks I captured during two months in the Kevs. Sharks of all species and sizes. I had samples from nine months of shark caoturing. It would obviously be impossible to capture the same sharks, or even to conduct the experiments under the same conditions. So what's going to become of your research? Well, .besides the lost time and the thousands of dollars from my budget, the library's budget and Al's Nat. Sci. money, a substantial part of my thesis is ruined. The publications we were hoping to produce with the data may possibly still be done using data we already collected and a few duplicate samples we have. There will be no way to go back and re-check on the data from the lost samples, though. Do you want to say anything else about this matter before I interview Al? Just that what upsets me most is that Charles Barra took it upon himself, as a .disciplinary measure, to come unlock my office and taMper with the refrigerator, without the slightest idea what he was really doing. And not only that, but then they returned the goddamned thing after not having it plugged in for five days! The shrimp we used to feed the baby sharks was swarming with maggots and they brought the whole stinking mess back to my office! U Beulig (having perused the interview with Lonnie) Well, that's it, essentially. You see, I was in Wisconsin when this happened ... Ed: So when and how did you find out about all this? AB: When I got back on Monday, June 26th, I noticed the refrigerator and a few other things were missing. The materials were simply gone. I shortly thereafter was told that someone Security had coree in and removed the stuff. In fact I hadn't heard Charles Harra's name mentioned in reference to this matter until I just read what Lonnie told you. Incidently, I saw no evidence that anybody was living in Lonnie's office. I knew a mattress was being stored there and I knew it was not uncommon for things other than scientific material to be in both the office and the refrigerator. I used to keep some food in there myself. Ed: What_did you do when you found out about what had happened to the refr1gerator, et al? AB: Well, I talked to Walt Hooper and Joe Swift (of the University Police and Building and Grounds, respectively) and reported the whole incident to Peter Buri (Natural Sciences Division Chairperson). I wrote up two memoes, one of which I had to complete in Samoa. In these memoes I complained first about the unauthorized entry into the office and, second, about their failure to contact me prior to removing the stuff from the office. The presence of the "personal belongings" in an office was clearly not an emergency and there would have been no loss on anyone's part had they had the patience to wait for me to get back before they acted. Ed: Has anyone on the janitorial staff, Building and Grounds or the Campus Police apologized to you or Lonnie and did they receive any sort of reprill'.and? AB: Ed: As far as I know, no. It amazes me that people from Building and Grounds can come in and tamper with equipment they know nothing about. I want to establish a so that this sort of thing won't happen again. In the future 1f one of these branches of the campus administration want something removed from an office, I want them to have to discuss the whole ordeal with occupant of that office to keep such" a negligent thing from happening as what happened to Lonnie. As it turned out, other offices in this building were invaded and people's possessionp were lost and damaged. And they never even proved anyone was residing here! I'm very upset to f1nd out my office is not a private place. very much, Lonnie and Al. Next week I'll try to get an 1nterv1ew w1th the pertinent people in Campus Security, Building and Grounds and the Administrative office to get their side of the story. RECORD REVIEW by Rico Spinutti This week: "Workout by the up and coming super group, WorkHorse (on N.O.N. records). This band never ceases to amaze me. This hot new release, "Workout," clearly gives what the title promises. The first side opens with a quiet balad entitled "Panaeha," composed by the romantic of the group, Johnny Pneurnatti. Pneumatti fuses his terminally "nice" acoustic work with some astounding jazz riffs. The following cut is a Steely Dan type piece conceived and misconstrued by the dynamic young drurrmer, Rocco Vercotti. This little catchy conglomeration dubbed Don't Bite" takes the listener through a series of poly-tracked horns, wood winds and steaming reprocessed grunts, laced with the always masterful bass work of Rhino (pronounced "Reno") Chambers. Manual James' unmercifully attacks the keyboards on the following cut, "Chopping Block." James takes a simple rock organ piece, not unlike some of Garth Hudson's for the Band, and slices and dices it into a piercing but precise little ditty. Side opens with a group effort called "You Just Gotta Loid It." This song demonstrates the group's uncanny tightness and includes lyrics so rich in esoterica that Donald Fagen has reportedly asked the group's spokesman about the song's true meaning. The remainder of side two is another Pneumatti tune entitled "Back in Trouble Again, which leads into ten minutes of unrestrained frenetic jarrming. Pneumatti has brought in an impressive array of guest soloists for this phenomenal improv session. Brother and sister Tree and Kristin Shirk add a brand new dimension to Work horse's seerrJngly limitless repetoire, Tree back with his alto sax and Kristin adding some frighteninqly fine fiddle fingering. Kay Linn, Pneumatti's female alter-ego, adds a soothing back up to Johnny's hypertense voice. And to top it all off, "Ace" Nadeau, formerly of the crotch Rockets" adds nUII'erous hot licks on his Les Paul, as well as soffie slinky pedal steel overdubs. The jam comes to a close with a drum solo by Vercotti that can only be compared to a sonic attack. Somewhat choppy, but always ti9ht, this young defies nature right on wax. All in all, workout is a fine serious effort. If you can find it, buy itt 6
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